best pickup lines.....

Options
1246

Replies

  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
    Options
    creepiest pickup line and one I will never forget "Excuse me, I just wanted you to know I work for UPS and I have a special package." :noway:

    Should have told him Fedex men have bigger packages.

    (I have no idea BTW)
  • Lozzielol
    Lozzielol Posts: 78
    Options
    My man made the mistake of upsetting me when I first met him, he could see that I was furious about what he just said. Bearing in mind that i had only met him he turned and said really loudly:

    RAINBOWS ARE PRETTY, AREN'T THEY?

    I couldnt help but laugh, and over two years later, it still makes me laugh!
  • anaynay133
    anaynay133 Posts: 6
    Options
    Boy: Are you tired?
    Girl: No, why?
    Boy: Cause you've been running through my mind a lot :)
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Options
    hey baby i might not be the hottest guy here but im the only one talking to you

    (never had it said to me but i had a guy friend that would say it to girls)
  • digit78
    digit78 Posts: 177
    Options
    My (now) wife worked behind a bar I used to go into (a lot). One night after she finished an early shift I saw her with this guy (a big fella - apparently a personal trainer). He went up to the bar so I went and spoke to her:

    Me: Is that you boyfriend?
    (Now)Wife: Yes
    Me: Did you hear that noise?
    (Now)Wife: What noise?
    Me: The sound of my heart breaking.
    Me: Actually, can I ask you a question?
    (Now)Wife: Sure.
    Me: Is the toilet paper in the upstairs bar softer than the toilet paper in the down stairs bar?
    (Now)Wife: [with a look of confusion] I'm not sure......... why??
    Me: Because the toilet paper in the downstairs bar scratches my eyes when I cry.

    She gave a giggle at this point (as I wasn't trying to be sleazy, just having a laugh and making light of the situation). At this point I saw the boyfriend coming back.
    Me: Seriously though, I think your amazing and I hope he treats you well every day as thats what you deserve. Your beautiful.

    The last part wasn't part of any pickup line (for a start I wouldn't try and pickup another mans girlfriend), however, my (Now)Wife just lit up the room and I wanted her to know that she deserved to be treated properly for the rest of her life............. know matter who she was with!

    I then walked away and left her alone. It was probably a few weeks later that I heard they split up and one of her workmates suggested I ask her out, that was ten years ago.

    I try and tell her everyday how beautiful she is................... as someone once told her thats what she deserves!
  • Samana06
    Samana06 Posts: 107
    Options
    Worst "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first" ... I laughed at him and walked away

    best one wasn't so much a pick up line as a blurted out "oops" "Wow! You're pretty!"

    Those were the first words my boyfriend said to me lol!
  • Samana06
    Samana06 Posts: 107
    Options
    back in my single days:

    hot guy sitting at the bar

    Me: Do you think I'm pretty?
    HGSATB: Yeah, you're pretty
    Me: (buy him a drink) Drink more I'm beautiful!
  • orting514
    orting514 Posts: 153
    Options
    "I've got a AARP card and can get discounts"!!!!

    Now that is halarious!!!
  • ChuckgM3
    ChuckgM3 Posts: 302 Member
    Options
    A female friend of mine told me that a guy was standing next to her in the checkout line at the grocery store and as she was leaving, he simply said "excuse me, but I think you have beautiful eyes" handed her a piece of paper with his name and number on it and left. She said that she was flattered and it worked, she texted him the next day and then he called and asked her out.

    To me it's shocking that this would work, as a regular guy I don't think any woman would take my # and call me. I think a guy has to be exceptionally good looking for this approach to work, am I right?

    On another note, as for really bad/horrible/cheesy pickup lines, one that I actually used back in HS when approaching a girl with large breasts and a very tight shirt... "hello, that shirt is very becoming on you... although, if I were that shirt I'd be coming on you too" zing! yes I know hurl rocks now please, I deserve it.
  • CreativeRedhead
    CreativeRedhead Posts: 2,166
    Options
    :laugh: @ Chuck

    My husband is the worlds worst I think. I can never eat anything or buy groceries with him. If I'm eating a banana at home, he'll be like, "If you wanted to wrap your lips around something, I can help you out with that!" :noway: :laugh: Or buying certain things, well anything he can make into a sexual reference. Bending over loading the dishwasher usually earns me a "You can bend over for me just like that later tonight". LOLZ....he is so crazy!

    Other than my husband, I always get comments on my youthful appearance, followed by "are you married?". When I was 19, I worked with this guy named Frankie, we always closed the store on Saturday nights which meant he always knew I didn't go out on those nights. He would always feed me some lame-o line while we were closing up. The best one was "My house is so cold, you should come home with me and help warm it up." :laugh:
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,689 Member
    Options
    Best one I used:

    Customer at my old work who chatted with me all the time.

    She: What an awful day, I had to cover cars crash. It was god awful.

    Me: You know what helps days like that?

    She: What?

    Me: Brunch with me tomorrow.

    It worked and I got to date a TV reporter until I found out she was nutsy psycho.

    I have try to avoid pick up line after hearing lots of guys try to use them on me when I was younger (lived in a GLTB friendly area at the time)
  • ginnyroxx
    ginnyroxx Posts: 763
    Options
    My worst - "I'll let you buy me a drink, if I can guess your bra size." (arms out like Frankenstein)

    :indifferent: "uhm..no" ugh.gif

    Well crap...there goes another one I can`t use. pouty.gif
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ginnyroxx
    ginnyroxx Posts: 763
    Options
    I try and tell her everyday how beautiful she is................... as someone once told her thats what she deserves!
    :love:
  • xxPeppaxx
    xxPeppaxx Posts: 142 Member
    Options
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?:sick:
  • Gogo76
    Gogo76 Posts: 581
    Options
    :laugh: @ Chuck

    My husband is the worlds worst I think. I can never eat anything or buy groceries with him. If I'm eating a banana at home, he'll be like, "If you wanted to wrap your lips around something, I can help you out with that!" :noway: :laugh: Or buying certain things, well anything he can make into a sexual reference. Bending over loading the dishwasher usually earns me a "You can bend over for me just like that later tonight". LOLZ....he is so crazy!

    Other than my husband, I always get comments on my youthful appearance, followed by "are you married?". When I was 19, I worked with this guy named Frankie, we always closed the store on Saturday nights which meant he always knew I didn't go out on those nights. He would always feed me some lame-o line while we were closing up. The best one was "My house is so cold, you should come home with me and help warm it up." :laugh:

    LOL!! Are we married to the same man?? Brothers maybe?? My hubs has an uncanny ability to make anything sexual also. :laugh:
  • MLMEDLEY
    MLMEDLEY Posts: 13
    Options
    HI THERE, I HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB AND A FULL SET OF TEETH. ONLY WORKS IN MISSISSIPPI HAHAHAHA
  • Jovialation
    Jovialation Posts: 7,632 Member
    Options
    Usually Im the one constantly hitting on my bf. I turn everything into a dirty joke. He just smacks my @$$ alot.
    We've been living together for 3 years, I figure this must be a good sign
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    Options
    I love this thread! You guys have had some awkward encounters!


    Some doozy I've gotten as a natural redhead:
    Dude: "Hi. I have to ask...Is that your real hair color?"
    Me: "Yep." (I HATE talking about my hair...it's boring).
    Dude: "I'm a redhead too! We should procreate."
    Me: "Um...like, at this moment?!"
    Dude: "No, not right now but if we did, we should have three kids. One for you. One for me. And one just in case."

    ANOTHER hair pick up...mind you, I was with my hockey player (then) boyfriend and another friend:
    Dude: "DAMN. With your hair color, you are an ELEVEN!"
    Me: "What would I be if I had brown hair?"
    Dude: "A solid 9 but right now? Definitely an 11. You look like Hayley from Paramore."
    Me: "Exactly HOW old are you?"

    AND THE WINNER OF ALL PICK UP LINES:
    Dude: "You're cute. Wanna knock boots?"


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • nikkijay
    nikkijay Posts: 17
    Options
    Damn girl you got more curves than a race track!!

    Were you arrested earlier?! cuz it has to be illegal to look that good!!

    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven??

    lololo :D
  • honeyrabbit
    honeyrabbit Posts: 118
    Options
    I recently had a guy come up to me in a pub....he licked his finger then wiped it on my jacket (eeeeeuuuuugh!!!), followed by the line
    'I think we should go somewhere and get you out of those wet clothes'

    I did find it mildly amusing.....but not enough to take him up on his kind offer!

    Another line a friend of mine actually used on a girl was
    him: What's the difference between a penis (he actually used a much ruder word) and a sausage roll
    her: errrr...I don't know
    him: really, you don't know?! well in that case do you want to go on a picnic?

    I think that pretty much proves to my American friends that all English blokes are in fact sod all like Hugh Grant! haha

Categories