Hurtful comments that have motivated you...

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  • Amethysta79
    Amethysta79 Posts: 37 Member
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    Sometimes it's what they don't say!



    Me: "I'm thinking of joing Weight Watchers" - just to see what people say.

    Everyone else: *silence* - no "You don't need to, you've got a lovely figure"

    Hmmmm....guess they're too polite to say I'm a bit chunky :sad:
  • irishgal44
    irishgal44 Posts: 1,181 Member
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    My dad told me after I lost over 50 lbs that no matter how hard I would ever try to lose weight and keep it off, I would always end up gaining it back and becoming fat again. It was very hurtful. I have not gained it back (that was over 3 years ago) and am excited to lose the last 30. And then I will maintain that to prove him wrong.
  • bosanka
    bosanka Posts: 336 Member
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    One time at a pot-luck party- lot's of people were there and we all sat at a big table- one of these women sat accross me with her plate piled up like a mountain of food. i guess she got embaressed for having that much food on her plate and she started " talking herself out of it " so she said out loud : - wow ... i have soooo much food on my plate, if i really would eat all of this, i .. i i would end up like you ( looking straight in my face ) with a " polite smile " on her face ..
    i just looked at her and usually i don't have trouble saying something but i was so cought and schoked - i couldn't respond.. my friend was next to me so she told her " what did you just say " .. so they kept talking and arguing.. i was kind of " out " couldn't believe what she told me in my face- in a huge gathering like that !?!?

    While i was on WW- i was losing quite a bit of weight and a friend asked me once " how much have you lost now " i told her.. about 30 lbs- and she said " wow.. if you keep going like that you will look almost better than i do " !!'

    yeah.. sometimes people just don't thnik before they speak .. i can't say i have never misspoken but i have never intentionally hurt people like that ..

    also - i had twins.. so a month later after my delivery - went to the dr. for a check -up , met someone on the way there - she asked me " when are you due ? " .. i said- the babies are home.. one month old !

    and so on..
  • abihaila
    abihaila Posts: 24 Member
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    Flabby Abby. In 6th grade it sucked that my name rhymes so well with flabby and crabby (some times I do get grumpy).

    Oh and "when are you due?" I was asked this by a nurse when I was working in a care facility. " I'm not pregnant just fat"
  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
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    I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....
  • yogasparrow
    yogasparrow Posts: 2
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    The one that motivated and that I strut on the treadmill thinking about was "Isn't it interesting that our guys (all friends since high school) picked girls with the same body type?" This was from a girl that I see as much more overweight than me. This was when I really realized how much I've gained and that it was time to do something about it. For an extra push I just tell myself, " I am NOT the same body type."

    The comment that made me the angriest was from my boss at the time, he was my Dad's age. He actually PATTED my stomach, looked me in the eye, and said, "You know, if you lost that you could. .." Find a man? Get a man/husband? I can't remember exactly the rest of the quote. I was too shocked that this a-hole was patting my stomach and giving me advice on how to find love. I was 5' 5'' and around 165. Seriously. No, I had no spine back then so I had no comeback.

    Also, my dumbest/meanest comment I ever made I was like 7 or 8 and there was a chubby girl a little older than me and we were playing together. I said, "I don't usually like fat people but I like you." I was so excited about how much fun we were having together that I didn't realize what I had really said until I saw her face fall. I still feel so bad about that, granted, I can blame it on age. Hopefully it didn't scar her to be called fat so young but I believe it was an early lesson for me about sensitivity. That was the only time I ever saw her, don't even know her name so I have no way of ever telling her sorry.

    Since we're talking about mean parents: This was a foreign concept to me until a friend told me about her mom trying to enroll her in weight watchers when she was 15. Their assessment found that she was at the minimum body fat for a girl. So sad! On a more encouraging note: when I cried because I was fat at 13 my Dad cried with me (tried to hide it) and the next day began dragging me out of the house to go running with him every day. I was such a punk kid though. I whined the whole time until he finally gave up after about a month but he had coached me on despite my horrible negativity. I am so grateful now. He was trying to be part of the solution. That motivates me. lesson learned: My dad believes in me and loves me no matter my size, we are in control of our situation.
  • prdrprincess
    prdrprincess Posts: 6 Member
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    I was told by a doctor that I was going to die shortly and the only way that I would lose the weight would to have gastric bypass surgery or lap band. Even though I DO NOT have High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, or High cholesterol. I love proving people wrong. I have lost 29 lbs so far and climbing.
  • ajstull
    ajstull Posts: 2
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    I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....

    That is a guy you are waaaay better off without! We can lose weight...but you can't fix a jerk.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....

    Ohhhh that's mean. :mad:
  • irishgal44
    irishgal44 Posts: 1,181 Member
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    I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....

    Oh, that would have hurt so badly!! But you are way better without THAT! WOW.
  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
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    I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....

    That is a guy you are waaaay better off without! We can lose weight...but you can't fix a jerk.

    I agree 100 percent! I cried all the way home not because of him but because I actually thought that because of my weight I would never fall in love or MOSTLY that no one can love someone like me that was overweight... and something ppl dont understand is that there are reasons your have gained weight... mine was a health issue I had a migraine stroke that caused me to be down and out for almost a year.... so I gained all my weight... but ppl judge too quickly ... So insead of doing it for someone else.. My mind set is to DO IT FOR ME :)
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....

    That is a guy you are waaaay better off without! We can lose weight...but you can't fix a jerk.

    I agree 100 percent! I cried all the way home not because of him but because I actually thought that because of my weight I would never fall in love or MOSTLY that no one can love someone like me that was overweight... and something ppl dont understand is that there are reasons your have gained weight... mine was a health issue I had a migraine stroke that caused me to be down and out for almost a year.... so I gained all my weight... but ppl judge too quickly ... So insead of doing it for someone else.. My mind set is to DO IT FOR ME :)

    Awesome attitude!
  • jadesign19
    jadesign19 Posts: 512 Member
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    I was at a party with my husband and a very dear and sweet friend said "what's it like being with a husband who's so much skinnier than you?" I played it off because I knew she didn't mean it to be hurtful. But it's true, he is so much skinnier than I am, he's fit too. That is what motivates me now. Because I knew people were thinking about how heavy I've gotten. I was in denial myself. Now I'm getting biceps and my abs back.
  • ccorona
    ccorona Posts: 1
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    That was really crappy of him to say that. What a great way to show him he missed out! :)
  • Manda1987
    Manda1987 Posts: 207
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    It's a lifelong thing for me.

    Grade 5/6 - The boys in my class gave me the nickname "Obese Chipmunk" because I was slightly pudgy and had a weird laugh. I stopped laughing, developed a binge eating disorder and started hoarding the food from my uneaten lunches in my closet.

    Grade 7/8 - My parents started padlocking the cupboard with the cookies in it instead of talking to me about why I was eating so much. (Not a comment, but definitely hurtful!)

    Grade 10 - My dad called me a sow, and told me that my gut was hanging out. This was shortly before I got my black belt in karate... I had the beginnings of abs! He did Atkins for the first time and lost 50 lbs.

    Grade 12 - My 400 lb doctor told me that I was going to end up diabetic because I weighed 175 lbs at age 17. Was powerwalking/jogging every morning before school, doing free weights for an hour every day, training at my dojo 5-6 days a week and was eating one meal a day because I hated eating in front of people.

    4 years ago - Was told that the reason I was depressed was because I was overweight, and if I lost weight it would go away. I went from 220 lbs to 170 lbs, got worse.

    2 years ago - Was on vacation with my family, walking through a mall. My (overweight) mother was pointing out all the things my 130 lb sister could wear and look adorable in. Then she said "Oh, look, Amanda... It's those Spanx things. I hear they're great!". This was a year after I started an antidepressant that made me gain 60 lbs.

    A month ago - My sister and I were joking around while on vacation. She asked if I needed to borrow her straightener: I said "I can't do that... I might end up hotter than you, and then I'd take all the boys' attention away from you." My mom said "I don't think she needs to worry about that." My sister was more shocked and offended than I was!

    I am very fortunate, though. My fiance has never once criticized me (only helped me). I have a friend who couldn't have weighed more than 145-150 lbs at most. Her husband is 6'2" and weighs 130 lbs. He was cruel to her until she lost weight, and a total jerk to me! We've stopped hanging around with them, because now they're both incredibly judgmental.
  • forthefab5
    forthefab5 Posts: 187 Member
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    One time at a pot-luck party- lot's of people were there and we all sat at a big table- one of these women sat accross me with her plate piled up like a mountain of food. i guess she got embaressed for having that much food on her plate and she started " talking herself out of it " so she said out loud : - wow ... i have soooo much food on my plate, if i really would eat all of this, i .. i i would end up like you ( looking straight in my face ) with a " polite smile " on her face ..
    i just looked at her and usually i don't have trouble saying something but i was so cought and schoked - i couldn't respond.. my friend was next to me so she told her " what did you just say " .. so they kept talking and arguing.. i was kind of " out " couldn't believe what she told me in my face- in a huge gathering like that !?!?

    While i was on WW- i was losing quite a bit of weight and a friend asked me once " how much have you lost now " i told her.. about 30 lbs- and she said " wow.. if you keep going like that you will look almost better than i do " !!'

    yeah.. sometimes people just don't thnik before they speak .. i can't say i have never misspoken but i have never intentionally hurt people like that ..

    also - i had twins.. so a month later after my delivery - went to the dr. for a check -up , met someone on the way there - she asked me " when are you due ? " .. i said- the babies are home.. one month old !

    and so on..

    That's horrible, sometimes you can tell when a person deliberately says something to hurt and rile you up!

    I had the same problem... I had twins too and a few weeks after they were born I was asked to sign a petition to put a lift at our local train station... especially since I was pregnant, I would need it to get up the stairs... lol, I just gave her a look and said "I'm not pregnant..." The lady backed up pretty quickly but I still signed her petition since it was a good cause (and I'd probably need it for my pram... Hahahaha
  • chickadee2010
    chickadee2010 Posts: 1,389 Member
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    I am very fortunate, though. My fiance has never once criticized me (only helped me).
    That makes me happy that people are cool like that. :happy:
  • SyreetaJayne1
    SyreetaJayne1 Posts: 170
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    My husband, when i asked him why he never liked any of the girls that liked him before we met, replied that they were all fat. boy that made me feel great at 60 pounds heavier than when we married.

    My mom told me, when i was around 160ish (after a comment to me about how some skinny girl was checking out my husband), that if i didn't lose weight i might lose my husband.

    None of these motivated me, i realized that i had to be motivated by my own well being or my results will never stick.
  • louramaille
    louramaille Posts: 43
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    When i was in High school i was 105lbs and my grandmother raised me while my parents worked. I moved away for a few years and came back 220 lbs. My grandmothers comment, in the sweetest little old lady voice......:
    " i want my pretty girl back ".
  • NOLAdy
    NOLAdy Posts: 133 Member
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    My brother used to tease me and that's probably the reason I get so intense and focused on meeting my goals. It's funny because at one point in my early 20's I was too thin and he gave me grief for that as well. Now we both have the same interests as far as health and fitness goes so it's all good, but his teasing did carve a little notch into my psyche.

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