IF YOU ARE MARRIED :)

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Trish0517
Trish0517 Posts: 8
in Chit-Chat
If you are marriend how do you keep things alive?? Also what do you get your spouse if they have not told you what they want for V-day also it is around that person's bday?

Have a good day:flowerforyou:
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  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    We don't really celebrate Valentine's day except for the kids. As for keeping things happy we touch a lot. Even non-sexual touching is bonding IMO and if you're close to your partner sex is better.

    We've been married for 10.5 years, together for 12.5.
  • kittytrix
    kittytrix Posts: 557 Member
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    Since my hubby is a trucker, I love to send him flowers at this job. He loves the attention and I like the thought of this big guy getting a bouquet with a little bear.

    But we honestly don't do anything for V-Day because we hate being in crowds. This year we may go out swing dancing, though. It's a lot of fun and it's physical. We may also do a family hike and picnic.

    As far as how we keep things lively, we always make time for each other by having dates. Even if it's only getting away for two hours alone for coffee or frozen yogurt. We hold hands and giggle a lot.
  • daryls
    daryls Posts: 260
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    Valentine's Day is just a day. I try and show appreciation for my husband everyday - in small ways.

    Keeping the spark alive - I don't feel like it's dying, so that's a hard question. We try and eat dinner together, go on runs together, and talk about the hard topics - even if they don't always make us feel good. I try not to criticize him, especially in areas where he is less confident.

    Intimacy, for me, is a relationship that provides me with emotional support and someone who accepts me for all of my weaknesses.

    Good books: "Getting the Love that You Want" by Harville Hendrix or "Passionate Marriage" by David Snarch
  • CalorieNinja
    CalorieNinja Posts: 645 Member
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    Hmm.. keeping it alive, whats that? LOL
    Been married 5 years and have 2 children as much as I hate to admit it that part of it is dead - so if you guys figure out the key to keeping it alive I sure would like to know (only because its good calorie burn you know HAHAHA jk)

    If he says he doesn't want anything for V-Day i try to keep it simple and understated and usually get him a card w/ a gift anyway.
  • thektturner
    thektturner Posts: 228 Member
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    Our anniversary is the 11th, so we typically celebrate that and not Valentine's Day. We're going out to dinner to our favorite restaurant for the anniversary (6 years) and then will probably go home and watch the new episode of Supernatural that airs Friday :)
    We're a bit nerdy.
  • jon_dub
    jon_dub Posts: 166
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    Hmm.. keeping it alive, whats that? LOL
    Been married 5 years and have 2 children as much as I hate to admit it that part of it is dead - so if you guys figure out the key to keeping it alive I sure would like to know (only because its good calorie burn you know HAHAHA jk)

    If he says he doesn't want anything for V-Day i try to keep it simple and understated and usually get him a card w/ a gift anyway.

    I am with her.. pass it along please that part is like an episode of CSI over here.
  • funnythunder
    funnythunder Posts: 47
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    I have been married 2 1/2 years and we've been together for 8 1/2 years. We both work shifts so sometimes are paths don't always cross during the week, but we make sure that we talk every day, always taking time out to chat. There is always kissing every day and we absolutely love each other's company. We're not big on V day, but there is always a card with some soppy writing in it.

    We also giggle alot. I'm quite a 'laughy person' but no one can make me laugh like hubby does and he says the same about me. I guess talking is the main thing about keeping things alive for us. We always know what is going on in the other person's life and being married to your best friend just keeps getting better every day!
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
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    My bday and Vday are close together. We (if hubby remembers it) go to eat on my bday but have never done anything for Vday. It's a god awful "holiday" of people trying to be sappy and I wouldn't be caught dead trying to go to a restaurant amidst all the love birds that night!!! :smile: Plus, we hate the pressure of - oh my gosh I have to think of something to top last year!!!
  • BirdsofaFeather
    BirdsofaFeather Posts: 98 Member
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    My husband's birthday is the 17th of February and it is hard to find two great gifts. For Valentine's Day I'm having a variety box of Mrs. Fields cookies and brownies sent to his office (he is an athlete and eats very well but loves the occasional splurge). Plus, his co-workers will be pleased, too!

    For his birthday I found an old working antique camera that is very rare (found tons of film for it as well)! I'll give it to him at his get-together with friends so he can take some memorable pictures. It's a great gift because he's also a photographer and the woman had no idea what a jem she had and sold it to me for $40!!!

    Good luck!
  • denisecc
    denisecc Posts: 72 Member
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    My husband and I have been married 20 years, actually in September it will be 21 years. It's all the little things, like asking how his day was, sending him a silly text during the day, putting little notes in his lunch box, and communicating with one another. He suprises me with flowers ever so often, always tells me how beautiful I am, even when I i'm looking bad that day. Valentine's day really is just another Hallmark holiday, my husband gives our daughter a dozen of roses ever since she was a little girl she is now 16..
  • Rhonnie07
    Rhonnie07 Posts: 36
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    We don't lose touch with each other. Take the time to to do it right. We keep each other as a priority no matter what. if work keeps us from spending to little time with each other. We send notes in lunch boxes , leave a text message. Always keep in touch. Plus when we get a couple of days together we don't let something come in between us and disrupt it. Our time for us is just that. Sit down and have meals together and talk about how things are going.Most importantly treat each other as if it were the first time you got together. communicate and enjoy each others company. Me and my man have been together now for nine years and each new day gives us yet anther reason to continue on loving each other and making each other feel needed and loved. It's the little things that mean the most. The little sayings , winks across the room, the touching. cuddling all those little things that add up to a wonderful relationship. And, the fringe benefits area great relationship with your best friend that will last a life time. And, there is of coarse awesome sex.
  • bluerose9483
    bluerose9483 Posts: 686 Member
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    It is hard. My husband and I will be together 8 years in April, married for 5 years in May and we have 2 wonderful kids and he is a 3rd shift truck driver, and I'm a SAHM, so as you can imagine, its pretty rough keeping the flame lit, but we love each other and we do what we can. We call each other (most of the time, he's not home, he'll be gone Mon-Sat morning, so our time together is Saturday night, Sunday, and then part of Monday morning). We try to celebrate V-day, but I'm more of a romantic than he is......he use to be better about things, but things has slowly faded away. Every now and then my inlaws will take the kids and watch them and we get a night alone together, but its maybe once a month or whenever we get a chance, so I'm not sure otherwise how to keep it alive, but I know come the weekend, we're both ready for some snuggling and fun :smooched: :love: :heart: :blushing:
  • Pedro_Infante
    Pedro_Infante Posts: 116 Member
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    I'm going on 14 years of blissful marriage to my gorgeous wife. I don't wait till the holidays to celebrate, read alot of relationship books, and end every conversation with I love you!
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,022 Member
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    We have been married 20 yrs this august, I think the key is making time for each other, leaving notes and making sure you hug and kiss everyday
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
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    We dont do valentines day. maybe a card. but we do get our boys something special. I am from the thinking the valentines is just another day and a stupid holiday created for jewlers, resturants and florists to make $$. TO me I would rather get flowers say on May 23 than on Feb 14th. That shows that he truly loves me, rather than following a herd.

    my birthday is 3 days after Valentines day. so as I said above we skip vday and get straight to the real celebration!
  • bahrainbel
    bahrainbel Posts: 194
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    I couldn't think of anything worse than being married :happy:
  • CalorieNinja
    CalorieNinja Posts: 645 Member
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    I couldn't think of anything worse than being married :happy:

    I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself and I have tears streaming down my face from the laughter
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    Wish I knew the secret. My wife and I just work together. Been together for 21 years.
    -We don't agree on everything, but we don't fight. We compromise when we can. Sometimes we go my way, sometimes we go hers.
    -We don't keep score.
    -We come to an agreement in regards to our kids before we discuss things with them.
    -We end all conversations, phone, emails, discussions with "I love you".
    -If I do something wrong, I apologize.
    -I rarely fight for principle with Jan. I consider each individual situation and consider whether getting my way is more important than my relationship overall. So far, nothing has been.
    -I can't pass her in a room without touching her, or her me.
    -There is no jealousy shown in either direction.

    Honestly, I don't know what she sees in me. I got the best part of this deal.

    What are we going to do for Valentine's Day? Depends on what else is going on in our lives at the time. I got her a box of chocolates and a diamond and sapphire necklace. I'l leave it on the dining room table when I leave for work on Monday with a card. Whatever else is up in the air. Don't know if Holland will be home that night. We may go out for dinner. Could be 2, 3 or 4 for dinner. I might make her favorie meal. We may just make some finger food, pour some wine (for her), Knob Creek (for me), set up the massage table, plug a couple DVD "Training Films" in and "get jiggy with it".
  • bahrainbel
    bahrainbel Posts: 194
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    I couldn't think of anything worse than being married :happy:

    I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself and I have tears streaming down my face from the laughter

    why?
  • safetyscott
    safetyscott Posts: 66 Member
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    Ive been married 22 years ( yes to the same girl ). First off, you need to want to keep it alive....just like quitting smoking, if you realy dont want to you wont, no matter how many patches or pills you use. I cook for my wife whenever im home, I still buy her chocolates and flowers (when i remember) on VD, but mostly im not home on VD...so....i just show her i lover her...all the time ...every day..from one or two phone calls a day..to telling her i lover her everyday..... to lettting her take care of her needs when we go shopping for stuff..( I want dunbbells..she wants uggs ).....that and ai chase her around the bed nekid every chance i get !:blushing:

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