Fear of Dying

ellelit
ellelit Posts: 806 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
so, my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and i'm turning the big 3-0. i'm terrified because i always thought i would have my weightloss well under control by the time i entered my 30's. with this milestone, i find myslef thinking alot more about death, and i'm worried alot more about it. how did you guys handle turning 30? any idea for making the fear of dying go away?
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Replies

  • ellelit
    ellelit Posts: 806 Member
    so, my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and i'm turning the big 3-0. i'm terrified because i always thought i would have my weightloss well under control by the time i entered my 30's. with this milestone, i find myslef thinking alot more about death, and i'm worried alot more about it. how did you guys handle turning 30? any idea for making the fear of dying go away?
  • Lavendersunday
    Lavendersunday Posts: 458 Member
    Live like there is NO tomorrow.

    ~Namaste :flowerforyou:
    Mi
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    I could give a very religious answer to this--and can still if you wish to PM me--but let me simply say this:

    Focus on dying? Why? Focus on living instead.

    30 is no biggie either--shoot, I passed that a long time ago.
  • 30 was, by far, the most difficult birthday of my life. I realized that there were some things physically, that I could never do as well again. My funk lasted a few years. But it passed, and life got better. When I turned 40 it was no big thing. In fact, I started my own business at 46. That same year I became a father for the 3rd time. 50 was a piece of cake. So was 60. 62 was a little rough as I was given a month to a year to live. I'm 66 now and plan on confounding the doctors for years to come. My baby girl graduates from college next may and I'll be there. She just got engaged and will be married in two more years. I'll be there to walk her down the aisle. Stay healthy with proper diet and execise; smile often; love deeply; and always have a dream. You've got a great life to look forward to and it's just about to begin!
  • OomarianneoO
    OomarianneoO Posts: 689 Member
    so, my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and i'm turning the big 3-0. i'm terrified because i always thought i would have my weightloss well under control by the time i entered my 30's. with this milestone, i find myslef thinking alot more about death, and i'm worried alot more about it. how did you guys handle turning 30? any idea for making the fear of dying go away?

    Oh my goodness. I went through the same thing for awhile. I don't know why. And it wasn't like a fleeting thought, I mean it really bothered me for a couple of years. I don't know what to say. Certainly don't have an answer for that. But I will say this, lately my fear of dying has turned into something like an ER episode. I'm so weird. I go through all these scenarios in my head and play them out like what I would do if I got hit by a bus. :laugh: or like I'm out fishing (which I have never done) and I somehow get this stupid fishing hook in my eye (just my luck) and I was out there all alone. OMG! I am a total freak. I've even gone so far as to plan out the kind of music I want playing at my funeral and who I want to give the eulogy (sp?). I've come up with one definite song - Somewhere Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.

    P.S. In all my ERpisodes, I end up in some coma and talk to myself in the coma telling to get the f!@# up! And I do. 352nmsp.gif
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
    I just turned 30 this summer, and it was a very big motivator for me to change my lifestyle. It is a little hard to realize that my body is getting creakier, but I am just focusing on the fact that making the positive changes that I am making NOW rather than LATER can only be good for my health and increase my chances for a long and happy life.

    But it did definitely put things in perspective for me. This is the only life I'm gonna get (probably! :laugh: ), so I really need to just do my best to take advantage of it while I can. It can be hard, though - there are a lot of things about my life that are not necessarily what I want them to be. But I try to just focus on being positive, being a good person, treating those around me well, and trying not to take everything I have for granted.

    Every day is the first day of the rest of your life! Think of what you want your life to be and then live today like that. :flowerforyou:
  • jenken99
    jenken99 Posts: 564 Member
    i had the same fear i still have that fear and it gets worse when u have a dream of dying that was realfrightening:noway: ,,i just try not to think about it and live life the best u can and enjoy it no matter what:flowerforyou:
  • denisebee
    denisebee Posts: 137 Member
    Personally- I think things have just gotten better with every passing year. GO out with your friends and celebrate all that life has to offer. 30 is the new 20!:drinker:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
    30 was, by far, the most difficult birthday of my life. I realized that there were some things physically, that I could never do as well again. My funk lasted a few years. But it passed, and life got better. When I turned 40 it was no big thing. In fact, I started my own business at 46. That same year I became a father for the 3rd time. 50 was a piece of cake. So was 60. 62 was a little rough as I was given a month to a year to live. I'm 66 now and plan on confounding the doctors for years to come. My baby girl graduates from college next may and I'll be there. She just got engaged and will be married in two more years. I'll be there to walk her down the aisle. Stay healthy with proper diet and execise; smile often; love deeply; and always have a dream. You've got a great life to look forward to and it's just about to begin!

    wow! you rock my friend!!! best of luck and I love that you beat the odds!!!

    hugs!
    Ali
  • I remember my mom turning thirty and freaking out. I got there (a few years ago) and could not figure out why she had felt that way.

    Come on, now, fifty is the new thirty. :happy: You've got 20 more years before the "new thirty".:laugh:

    Really. :flowerforyou:

    Seriously, I personally know some knock-out drop dead gorgeous vibrant women in their 50's and 60's and I plan to be one. A goal I set in my teens was to compete in the ironman in my 50's. I guess I'd better rev up the training schedule.:laugh:

    I didn't go to college (well, back to college) until my 30's (and had two children, one with a genetic disorder) and I'm still in school....hoping to earn a Ph.D. the year I turn 40. Seriously, facing my son's enormous medical issues his first few days of life happened before I turned 30. It put a lot into perspective when I my dh and I kissed our three day old son goodbye at the operating room door knowing there was a 30% chance he would not survive the surgery. BTW, he survived that surgery and the next half a dozen surgeries and is thriving.

    You are way young still.:flowerforyou: You can still make your weight goals during your 30th year. :flowerforyou: You are already well on your way. :flowerforyou:

    No worries ~ they'll give you wrinkles :laugh:
    People are living long, healthier lives.
    You have most of your life still in front of you. The best part of your life is still to come! Live it to the fullest. Work everyday on making it your idea, dream life. What are you going to do to get there? It can be done. :heart:

    Hey, I know where Nanaimo, BC is... a good friend of mine lived there for awhile.
    I hope the above is not too cheerleaderish for your tastes. Honestly, you can make your weight goal (or close to it) in the next year. You can find a lot of joy in life, even over the age 30. I would not go back to a younger age... I find I am much more confident and comfortable in my own skin now. I hope you are able to find the same peace and happiness with your age and your body and every bit of you. You deserve it. Happy birthday.
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
    30 was, by far, the most difficult birthday of my life. I realized that there were some things physically, that I could never do as well again. My funk lasted a few years. But it passed, and life got better. When I turned 40 it was no big thing. In fact, I started my own business at 46. That same year I became a father for the 3rd time. 50 was a piece of cake. So was 60. 62 was a little rough as I was given a month to a year to live. I'm 66 now and plan on confounding the doctors for years to come. My baby girl graduates from college next may and I'll be there. She just got engaged and will be married in two more years. I'll be there to walk her down the aisle. Stay healthy with proper diet and execise; smile often; love deeply; and always have a dream. You've got a great life to look forward to and it's just about to begin!

    What a beautiful message to Ellelit and all of us!
    :flowerforyou:
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
    so, my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and i'm turning the big 3-0. i'm terrified because i always thought i would have my weightloss well under control by the time i entered my 30's. with this milestone, i find myslef thinking alot more about death, and i'm worried alot more about it. how did you guys handle turning 30? any idea for making the fear of dying go away?

    Oh my goodness. I went through the same thing for awhile. I don't know why. And it wasn't like a fleeting thought, I mean it really bothered me for a couple of years. I don't know what to say. Certainly don't have an answer for that. But I will say this, lately my fear of dying has turned into something like an ER episode. I'm so weird. I go through all these scenarios in my head and play them out like what I would do if I got hit by a bus. :laugh: or like I'm out fishing (which I have never done) and I somehow get this stupid fishing hook in my eye (just my luck) and I was out there all alone. OMG! I am a total freak. I've even gone so far as to plan out the kind of music I want playing at my funeral and who I want to give the eulogy (sp?). I've come up with one definite song - Somewhere Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.

    P.S. In all my ERpisodes, I end up in some coma and talk to myself in the coma telling to get the f!@# up! And I do. 352nmsp.gif

    Interesting...

    My fear of death has nothing to do with the act of dying itself, but of ceasing to exist...
    :ohwell:
  • TheGoblinRoad
    TheGoblinRoad Posts: 835 Member
    I avoid this by being a vampire.

    Ha ha.

    No, I'm just kidding.

    :)


    Really. I am.

    On a more serious note, which is much less fun, nothing's permanent. Everything's permanent. How's that for a contradiction? Yet, there it is. If you pour water into a tray and freeze it to ice, is there no water left in there? If you put the ice into a soda (preferrably a root beer) and the ice melts, is that ice in your soda or water?

    Who gets what I'm saying? :)
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    I didn't go to college (well, back to college) until my 30's (and had two children, one with a genetic disorder) and I'm still in school....hoping to earn a Ph.D. the year I turn 40. Seriously, facing my son's enormous medical issues his first few days of life happened before I turned 30. It put a lot into perspective when I my dh and I kissed our three day old son goodbye at the operating room door knowing there was a 30% chance he would not survive the surgery. BTW, he survived that surgery and the next half a dozen surgeries and is thriving.

    Here's to us mid-life superwomen! :drinker:
    I started as a freshman in college at the age of 38 and earned my Master's Degree at the age of 43. Probably going for my D.Min in a couple years. Taking a break from school!
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    Interesting...

    My fear of death has nothing to do with the act of dying itself, but of ceasing to exist...
    :ohwell:

    Cease to exist? Not me!
  • I didn't go to college (well, back to college) until my 30's (and had two children, one with a genetic disorder) and I'm still in school....hoping to earn a Ph.D. the year I turn 40. Seriously, facing my son's enormous medical issues his first few days of life happened before I turned 30. It put a lot into perspective when I my dh and I kissed our three day old son goodbye at the operating room door knowing there was a 30% chance he would not survive the surgery. BTW, he survived that surgery and the next half a dozen surgeries and is thriving.

    Here's to us mid-life superwomen! :drinker:
    I started as a freshman in college at the age of 38 and earned my Master's Degree at the age of 43. Probably going for my D.Min in a couple years. Taking a break from school!

    Woot, Shorerider! I knew I liked you!
  • I avoid this by being a vampire.

    Ha ha.

    No, I'm just kidding.

    :)


    Really. I am.

    On a more serious note, which is much less fun, nothing's permanent. Everything's permanent. How's that for a contradiction? Yet, there it is. If you pour water into a tray and freeze it to ice, is there no water left in there? If you put the ice into a soda (preferrably a root beer) and the ice melts, is that ice in your soda or water?

    Who gets what I'm saying? :)

    Its like this, if you look at empty railroad tracks you don't know which direction the train is running.:wink:
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    I didn't go to college (well, back to college) until my 30's (and had two children, one with a genetic disorder) and I'm still in school....hoping to earn a Ph.D. the year I turn 40. Seriously, facing my son's enormous medical issues his first few days of life happened before I turned 30. It put a lot into perspective when I my dh and I kissed our three day old son goodbye at the operating room door knowing there was a 30% chance he would not survive the surgery. BTW, he survived that surgery and the next half a dozen surgeries and is thriving.

    Here's to us mid-life superwomen! :drinker:
    I started as a freshman in college at the age of 38 and earned my Master's Degree at the age of 43. Probably going for my D.Min in a couple years. Taking a break from school!

    Woot, Shorerider! I knew I liked you!

    Nothing to make you feel REALLY old like sitting in a classroom full of 20 somethings and knowing you're old enough to be their mother--and having them treat you like you some archaeological relic. :grumble: But hey, I got along great with my professors! Mostly because they tended to be my age :tongue:
  • heartshapdworld
    heartshapdworld Posts: 323 Member
    I turned 30 in April. To be honest it was the most exciting thing I have looked forward to in my life-even bigger than 21 or 18! Too many insecurities in my 20s and teens! I believe that my 40s will be even better! :bigsmile:

    I know who I am a whole lot better at 30, and I expect to make better choices in my 30s-like living a more healthy lifestyle and making choices that are best for Gina and not doing what my friends and family what me me to do.

    My uncle use to always say that he gets better looking every year, and I would always laugh at him. Now, I know that was only part in jest. I FEEL better about myself with every passing year. I feel better and more confident in my abilities, my body, and the choices I make. 40, 50, 60 and beyond can only increase that feeling of confidence.

    My life is far from perfect. I am in a relationship that is not good for me, but I am making choices to change my situation. Choices-that is empowering. I FEEL like my life is just begining at 30. I know I have choices-my 20s? Well, I felt like things just happened to me, and I had no control over it. They don't-there are patterns. If we pay attention to the patterns of our choices, then we can change them in a positive manner.

    And that is why 30 was so exciting for me-I truly feel that my 30s will be magical.
  • TheGoblinRoad
    TheGoblinRoad Posts: 835 Member


    Its like this, if you look at empty railroad tracks you don't know which direction the train is running.:wink:

    Choo Choo.
  • I love this book, Growing Old is not for Sissies. Here are some great pictures.
    http://ettaclarkphotography.com/
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
    Interesting...

    My fear of death has nothing to do with the act of dying itself, but of ceasing to exist...
    :ohwell:

    Cease to exist? Not me!

    In this current state and situation...
    :flowerforyou:
  • 30 was, by far, the most difficult birthday of my life. I realized that there were some things physically, that I could never do as well again. My funk lasted a few years. But it passed, and life got better. When I turned 40 it was no big thing. In fact, I started my own business at 46. That same year I became a father for the 3rd time. 50 was a piece of cake. So was 60. 62 was a little rough as I was given a month to a year to live. I'm 66 now and plan on confounding the doctors for years to come. My baby girl graduates from college next may and I'll be there. She just got engaged and will be married in two more years. I'll be there to walk her down the aisle. Stay healthy with proper diet and execise; smile often; love deeply; and always have a dream. You've got a great life to look forward to and it's just about to begin!

    What a beautiful message to Ellelit and all of us!
    :flowerforyou:

    Very special, indeed. Thank you.
  • blueenvy
    blueenvy Posts: 31 Member
    I freaked out when I saw a picture of me blowing out a birthday sundae for my 32 B-Day. That's when I started realizing that a huge part my life is over. I think we are kinda programmed to think that way. lol Actually this is the happiest I've been in a long A** time. I'm working out three times a week I've lost several pounds (before I joined this site) and I intend on losing the rest with MFP if not by my 33rd B-day then at least by my 34. Life is never over unless you give up on it.

    90571.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Diet Journal
  • My birthday is a couple weeks from now too (the 22nd!) and I'll be turning 29..I'm sad it's my last birthday in my 20's! I feel over the hill already!! Ugh!
  • OomarianneoO
    OomarianneoO Posts: 689 Member
    My birthday is a couple weeks from now too (the 22nd!) and I'll be turning 29..I'm sad it's my last birthday in my 20's! I feel over the hill already!! Ugh!

    Watch it there, mister! If you're over the hill, then I'm rolling down in some kind of somersault and I can't stop. shocked001.jpg1100.gif
  • lessertess
    lessertess Posts: 855 Member
    First of all, focusing on death is no way to live.

    Secondly, 30 is just a number. I turned 46 in May and am now closer to 50 than I am 40. But thanks to my lifestyle change I'm in better shape, healthier, have more energy and happier than I was in my 20's. In fact there are lots of 20 year olds that aren't as "young" as I am today. My yoga instructor is in her early 50's and she has the body of a healthy 20 year old.

    I started this lifestyle change becasue I was worried, not about dying but about being old and helpless and a slave to an unhealthy body. They way I was going, it was a reality that I wasn't going to escape. Compared to that, death is nothing to fear.

    I don't want to live forever. But, I very much want to be healthy and independent until I die. Pictures of me confined to a wheelchair in an elderly care facility are much scarier than those of me dying while hiking over a mountain.

    Live Strong!
  • TNTPete
    TNTPete Posts: 701 Member
    You will continue to grow and change -- if your fear becomes less probably depends on what your faith/value/belief system is. I think as you get older you also gain wisdom and insight hence, the decrease in dying fears.

    Live for today, plan for tomorrow and laugh. Don't take people for granted and do what ever you can to make the world a better place. Focusing on the life itself is not important -- focus on the impact you can make with your life. Make sense?

    Oh and I am much better now at 33 then I was at 23!! I am stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. Wouldn't have my 20's back for the world -- looking forward to what tomorrow brings!!

    BTW -- you are on your way to losing, don't let an arbitrary number set you back!!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    I can't wait to turn 55 in November because I found out I can get a discount at the gym. Also I can move into a 55 plus community. :bigsmile:
  • I can't wait to turn 55 in November because I found out I can get a discount at the gym. Also I can move into a 55 plus community. :bigsmile:

    My dad got carded at 55:laugh:
    I think the store clerk didn't look up before he asked because my although my father looks good, he had grey hair. But the clerk held firm and demanded to see his ID.:laugh:

    I wish I'd witnessed that.
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