best pickup lines.....
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creepiest pickup line and one I will never forget "Excuse me, I just wanted you to know I work for UPS and I have a special package." :noway:
Should have told him Fedex men have bigger packages.
(I have no idea BTW)0 -
My man made the mistake of upsetting me when I first met him, he could see that I was furious about what he just said. Bearing in mind that i had only met him he turned and said really loudly:
RAINBOWS ARE PRETTY, AREN'T THEY?
I couldnt help but laugh, and over two years later, it still makes me laugh!0 -
Boy: Are you tired?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: Cause you've been running through my mind a lot
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hey baby i might not be the hottest guy here but im the only one talking to you
(never had it said to me but i had a guy friend that would say it to girls)0 -
My (now) wife worked behind a bar I used to go into (a lot). One night after she finished an early shift I saw her with this guy (a big fella - apparently a personal trainer). He went up to the bar so I went and spoke to her:
Me: Is that you boyfriend?
(Now)Wife: Yes
Me: Did you hear that noise?
(Now)Wife: What noise?
Me: The sound of my heart breaking.
Me: Actually, can I ask you a question?
(Now)Wife: Sure.
Me: Is the toilet paper in the upstairs bar softer than the toilet paper in the down stairs bar?
(Now)Wife: [with a look of confusion] I'm not sure......... why??
Me: Because the toilet paper in the downstairs bar scratches my eyes when I cry.
She gave a giggle at this point (as I wasn't trying to be sleazy, just having a laugh and making light of the situation). At this point I saw the boyfriend coming back.
Me: Seriously though, I think your amazing and I hope he treats you well every day as thats what you deserve. Your beautiful.
The last part wasn't part of any pickup line (for a start I wouldn't try and pickup another mans girlfriend), however, my (Now)Wife just lit up the room and I wanted her to know that she deserved to be treated properly for the rest of her life............. know matter who she was with!
I then walked away and left her alone. It was probably a few weeks later that I heard they split up and one of her workmates suggested I ask her out, that was ten years ago.
I try and tell her everyday how beautiful she is................... as someone once told her thats what she deserves!0 -
Worst "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first" ... I laughed at him and walked away
best one wasn't so much a pick up line as a blurted out "oops" "Wow! You're pretty!"
Those were the first words my boyfriend said to me lol!0 -
back in my single days:
hot guy sitting at the bar
Me: Do you think I'm pretty?
HGSATB: Yeah, you're pretty
Me: (buy him a drink) Drink more I'm beautiful!0 -
"I've got a AARP card and can get discounts"!!!!
Now that is halarious!!!0 -
A female friend of mine told me that a guy was standing next to her in the checkout line at the grocery store and as she was leaving, he simply said "excuse me, but I think you have beautiful eyes" handed her a piece of paper with his name and number on it and left. She said that she was flattered and it worked, she texted him the next day and then he called and asked her out.
To me it's shocking that this would work, as a regular guy I don't think any woman would take my # and call me. I think a guy has to be exceptionally good looking for this approach to work, am I right?
On another note, as for really bad/horrible/cheesy pickup lines, one that I actually used back in HS when approaching a girl with large breasts and a very tight shirt... "hello, that shirt is very becoming on you... although, if I were that shirt I'd be coming on you too" zing! yes I know hurl rocks now please, I deserve it.0 -
:laugh: @ Chuck
My husband is the worlds worst I think. I can never eat anything or buy groceries with him. If I'm eating a banana at home, he'll be like, "If you wanted to wrap your lips around something, I can help you out with that!" :noway: :laugh: Or buying certain things, well anything he can make into a sexual reference. Bending over loading the dishwasher usually earns me a "You can bend over for me just like that later tonight". LOLZ....he is so crazy!
Other than my husband, I always get comments on my youthful appearance, followed by "are you married?". When I was 19, I worked with this guy named Frankie, we always closed the store on Saturday nights which meant he always knew I didn't go out on those nights. He would always feed me some lame-o line while we were closing up. The best one was "My house is so cold, you should come home with me and help warm it up." :laugh:0 -
Best one I used:
Customer at my old work who chatted with me all the time.
She: What an awful day, I had to cover cars crash. It was god awful.
Me: You know what helps days like that?
She: What?
Me: Brunch with me tomorrow.
It worked and I got to date a TV reporter until I found out she was nutsy psycho.
I have try to avoid pick up line after hearing lots of guys try to use them on me when I was younger (lived in a GLTB friendly area at the time)0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:My worst - "I'll let you buy me a drink, if I can guess your bra size." (arms out like Frankenstein)
:indifferent: "uhm..no"
Well crap...there goes another one I can`t use.
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I try and tell her everyday how beautiful she is................... as someone once told her thats what she deserves!
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Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?:sick:0
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:laugh: @ Chuck
My husband is the worlds worst I think. I can never eat anything or buy groceries with him. If I'm eating a banana at home, he'll be like, "If you wanted to wrap your lips around something, I can help you out with that!" :noway: :laugh: Or buying certain things, well anything he can make into a sexual reference. Bending over loading the dishwasher usually earns me a "You can bend over for me just like that later tonight". LOLZ....he is so crazy!
Other than my husband, I always get comments on my youthful appearance, followed by "are you married?". When I was 19, I worked with this guy named Frankie, we always closed the store on Saturday nights which meant he always knew I didn't go out on those nights. He would always feed me some lame-o line while we were closing up. The best one was "My house is so cold, you should come home with me and help warm it up." :laugh:
LOL!! Are we married to the same man?? Brothers maybe?? My hubs has an uncanny ability to make anything sexual also. :laugh:0 -
HI THERE, I HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB AND A FULL SET OF TEETH. ONLY WORKS IN MISSISSIPPI HAHAHAHA0
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Usually Im the one constantly hitting on my bf. I turn everything into a dirty joke. He just smacks my @$$ alot.
We've been living together for 3 years, I figure this must be a good sign0 -
I love this thread! You guys have had some awkward encounters!
Some doozy I've gotten as a natural redhead:
Dude: "Hi. I have to ask...Is that your real hair color?"
Me: "Yep." (I HATE talking about my hair...it's boring).
Dude: "I'm a redhead too! We should procreate."
Me: "Um...like, at this moment?!"
Dude: "No, not right now but if we did, we should have three kids. One for you. One for me. And one just in case."
ANOTHER hair pick up...mind you, I was with my hockey player (then) boyfriend and another friend:
Dude: "DAMN. With your hair color, you are an ELEVEN!"
Me: "What would I be if I had brown hair?"
Dude: "A solid 9 but right now? Definitely an 11. You look like Hayley from Paramore."
Me: "Exactly HOW old are you?"
AND THE WINNER OF ALL PICK UP LINES:
Dude: "You're cute. Wanna knock boots?"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Damn girl you got more curves than a race track!!
Were you arrested earlier?! cuz it has to be illegal to look that good!!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven??
lololo
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I recently had a guy come up to me in a pub....he licked his finger then wiped it on my jacket (eeeeeuuuuugh!!!), followed by the line
'I think we should go somewhere and get you out of those wet clothes'
I did find it mildly amusing.....but not enough to take him up on his kind offer!
Another line a friend of mine actually used on a girl was
him: What's the difference between a penis (he actually used a much ruder word) and a sausage roll
her: errrr...I don't know
him: really, you don't know?! well in that case do you want to go on a picnic?
I think that pretty much proves to my American friends that all English blokes are in fact sod all like Hugh Grant! haha0 -
Best pick up line: "Hi"
Worst: "Hey Girl, come here".
Ridiculousity!0 -
I recently had a guy come up to me in a pub....he licked his finger then wiped it on my jacket (eeeeeuuuuugh!!!), followed by the line
'I think we should go somewhere and get you out of those wet clothes'
I did find it mildly amusing.....but not enough to take him up on his kind offer!
Another line a friend of mine actually used on a girl was
him: What's the difference between a penis (he actually used a much ruder word) and a sausage roll
her: errrr...I don't know
him: really, you don't know?! well in that case do you want to go on a picnic?
The first one is hilarious.
I think that pretty much proves to my American friends that all English blokes are in fact sod all like Hugh Grant! haha0 -
I had a friend in the Army that would walk up to the hottest woman in Frankfurt and say "you are beautiful...look at those tits. wanna f@#k?" he got slapped a lot, but never went home alone.0
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Was handed a twenty dollar bill with a phone number written on it and he said, "Call me and I'll let you buy me lunch. " Really liked that one.0
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Being a redhead, I get the "does the carpet match the drapes" line often. :laugh:
And the there was this one time.... Oh baby, you look like you could use a nice spanking.............:noway: :laugh: That one was like WTF...
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When I was in the Air Force my boss asked me if I wanted to go "halfsies" on a baby!!!!! Talk about sexual harassment, eh? :blushing:0
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Boy-"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?"
Girl-"what?"
Boy-"My Zipper"0 -
Being a redhead, I get the "does the carpet match the drapes" line often. :laugh:
And the there was this one time.... Oh baby, you look like you could use a nice spanking.............:noway: :laugh: That one was like WTF...
Oh I forgot, I did once get a redheads number by telling her: "Is it true what they say?"
Her: "what's that?"
Me: "That there's no point sleeping with blondes or brunettes when you can stay up all night with a redhead?"
Her: (laughs) "call me and maybe you'll find out"
That one took a lot of balls on my part but I had lots of liquid courage working for me.0 -
:laugh: Oh Chuck, you crack me up!
I have another one...I'm from Georgia so the peach thing comes up too alot.
"Oh you're a Georgia peach huh?"
Yeah...
"I'd like to see if you taste as sweet and juicy as one" :noway: :laugh: how lame and creepy is that??0 -
Wanna **** actually works.0
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