for the married peeps...

You have to remember that men don't generally think the way we think. My husband does the same thing. I am sure he is not trying to sabotage you. I bet he sees all the hard work you are putting in, and probably honestly thinks that you deserve a treat. And they aren't mind readers. He may not know how you feel about it, or how big of a temptation it is. You need to tell him NICELY, in a straight-forward way, so he gets it. And then give him suggestions on more diet-friendly ways to show his love... flowers, a SMALL treat, etc. Also, ask him about it. Ask him if he feels you will become too good for him and leave. A husband shouldn't feel that way, ever, so if he does, there may be something there that needs to be dealt with immediately. Hope that helps

I have the opposite "problem." I bring junk food into the house for me, and my husband eats it before I get a chance!

I think your hubby is literally just treating you. Men are simple beings and I wonder if he is thinking this through in a simple manner! If this was my man, i know he'd be thinking she's doing really well, I think she's hot anyway, I'll treat her to some cake.

Maybe explain that you do appreciate it and you love that he wants to treat you but you find it really hard when he treats you with things that really tempt you and have the opposite effect of what you are trying to achieve. What would be a better reward is ... him running you a bath, him making you a really tasty dinner that you can eat, or even just some fruit salad!

Also, maybe he does genuinely believe you will be too good for him and will leave him. If this isn't the case, reassure him?

and finally, you have chosen this healthy lifestyle and this diet.... your husband hasn't. If he wants to eat cake.... let him eat cake!

I have been married for 10 1/2 years and I have lost 114lbs over the last 3 1/2 years. My husband is extremely supportive of me. He doesn't not try to sabbotage me at all. The other night he wanted some ice cream and he asked me if I could have some (wondering if I still had calories left) I thought that was very sweet of him to aks if I wanted some and to be consious of what I am doing. My husbadn tells me he loves me no matter what size I am but he does say he doesn't want me to go back to where I was. He knows how hard I have had to work to get the weight off so I am sure that is why he is so supportive! He has never indicated that he thinks I would leave him for someone else....

My husband is doing this with me so we do whatever we can to support and not sabotage each other. I've been losing it a little faster than my husband (which is weird because men typically lose faster and he had more to lose than I did) so I'm sure he's a little frustrated but if he is, he keeps it to himself. I didn't force him into this but I explained that I wasn't happy with my weight and that I had 35 years of eating whatever I wanted and not exercising and I needed to spend the next 35 taking care of my health and that he was welcome to do this with me but if he didn't want to, I hoped that I could count on his support (which doesn't include eating tempting foods in front of me).

Men don't think like women. They need things spelled out for them!

My husband used to do that too. It's what he's always done to make me feel better after a hard day. But I had a talk with him and I told him that I needed him to stop doing that, that I appreciated the effort but it was making it harder for me to reach my goals. He understood, apologized, and he hasn't brought home junk for me since, at least not without asking me if it's ok first. Sometimes it's ok because I can make room in my calorie budget for the day, and I'll say yes, and sometimes it's not ok, and so he doesn't bring it home. So now instead of bringing home donuts to help me de-stress, he takes the kids in another room for a few minutes so I can have a short break, and then we watch a movie or something after they go to bed.

Don't look at it as sabotage unless you've actually talked to him about it. He can't read your mind. He thinks he's being nice. And if he's not used to counting calories and doesn't know what your calorie budget is, he probably doesn't realize how much damage it does. Like I told my husband that I was upset that something I ate was over 300 calories for just one serving, and he said, "Well, that's not very much." Not realizing that my budget is 1400, so 300 is actually quite a lot for me. Communication is key.

My husband constantly suggests we eat out as a 'treat'. This makes me feel like a killjoy for always saying no. I do have one meal 'off' each week, but he still suggests more outings. Also we can't afford to eat out all the time, and I have usually cooked something helathy and nutritious.

He is not deliberatly sabotaging me, he just doesn't think. A complaint common to many men I think...

My first question is .....is he overweight....or has he ever been over weight???? My highest weight was 295 mean while hubby was only 260......took a year and a half but I am now down to 165 and he is still 255.... He does the same thing with cookies and stuff trying to be sweet... just keep reminding him you love HIM and NOT the treats try giving him an alternitive to "treat" you.......manicure/pedicure/books whatever you enjoy... If he has never been over weight he hasn't a clue what your mind is doin... If he has been he is scared to death... Just love love love him... he will get it eventually mine did. GOOD LUCK..
( add me if you like)

My husband has tried to sabotage me from day one. Now I've lost 3 stone our relationship is not great. He has been the opposite of supportive and he's so insecure about me finding someone better. Truth is, that's what he's pushing me into. Who wants a box of chocolates literally pushed in their face?! Not me.

My advice, address this behaviour straight away otherwise it builds a whole load of resentment and anger xx good luck x

I married a very healthy man who loves vegetables like me. Best of luck, I know it can be hard when you compare your success to that of a male metabolism.

I feel like maybe your husband, probally only use to the things that use to make you happy. Not that he probly doesnt think the "What Ifs", but you have to remember that you two are a union, and this is team work. You may be able to inspire to loose weight, or if hes in shape already, just to eat better. You have to remember that for 12years hes adjusted to what you use to like, make him realize all the new things you like and want. Remember communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Ask yourself when you loose weight are you still go love him the same as you did 12years, appartently he stuck by you 12years, when some of those years you wasnt even happy with yourself? Just a thought, however keep up the good work, and remember its okay adjust to change

My husband does this exact same thing! I have even encouraged him NOT to bring junk in the house because our 5 yr old eats it too and I keep saying it's not good for him to have all this junk, yada ya. However, this past Valentines Day, I think he passed a huge milestone by not brining me chocolates but perfume instead!

He also always says I'll only be on a diet for about 2 weeks!! Ok - so that used to be true -- but this time, I have been going strong since Feb. 1 so I really think he is finally respecting my choices in what I am eating now. I even heard him tell his mom the other day he needs to start eating more healthy! lol (His mom is here from India until May and cooks for him every day/evening. While Indian food is very healthy, she uses a container of oil per WEEK!!! Last time she was here, and I was trying to diet, I tried to tell her to cook with less oil but she doesn't think things taste as good so she continues to pour on the oil. I told DH the other day when I heard him talking about needing to lose his stomach, that if he will tell his mom to chill out on the oil, her food would be fine but as long as he continued to eat her food, he was ingesting like 64 oz of canola oil each week!! He is not over weight at all, but is getting a beer belly for his stature. Also, his cholesterol and triglycerides are sky high. I'm telling ya -- it's that oil!!!!! When she left after her last visit, I actually wrote the date on the top of the oil lid to see how long that woudl last us -- it was lasting us 3-4 months!!!!!!!

I think your DH means well just isn't using his head! People without weight issues don't realize we just can't have certain things! Some of us -- ever!!

It is sabotage. Be strong and call him on it. Better to go to waste than your waist. Your husband isNOT trying to treat you. A treat would be a gym membership, movie tickets or walk in the park.

im sure hes not doing it on purpose,men DO not think like women.I dont know why so many women keep thinking they do.Really and if you going to change your life dont you think you should change the part of you that says just because there is something bad for me in the house I HAVE to eat it.
There is not some big conspirosy from the men to keep us fat.
most of the time i think they are just doing it because they think it would make us happy

THANK YOU. Any man who would try to sabotage your weight loss was probably a controlling jerk beforehand. But if he wasn't controlling before, don't assume he's deliberately sabotaging you now. Most of the time when they bring treats, they're just showing love. If they used to make your day better by bringing you donuts or whatever, they'll still do that unless you ask them not to.

Why doesn't anybody talk to their spouse before making negative judgments about their motivations? Have a conversation! It's fun to talk to people. If you love him, you should be willing to discuss these things before automatically assuming that he's just insecure and trying to do you harm.

I was at my highest weight when I met my husband. Although he loves me regardless of size he has mentioned he finds the higher confidence level pretty sexy

He is usually pretty good about helping me but I have to give him specific instructions... like don't bring this into the house or if he cooks to serve my meal in a smaller plate, etc. Sometimes he gets away from it and just needs a reminder when it goes too far, but he will help as long as he knows how.

I try to help him too but it is a little harder with him as he absolutely loves to eat. He has always been that way, even as a child. So I try to get him to eat more veggies, just little things to lessen the damage since I can't really stop him from eating so much. I even bought small plastic bowls that fit about a cup into it. He uses this for icecream now as oppose to eating it straight outta the tub.

I have the opposite "problem." I bring junk food into the house for me, and my husband eats it before I get a chance!

haha Same with me!! I have a piece of the cake or just one cookie and my boyfriend will eat the rest for me! I know it says 'married' peeps on the topic but we've been together for 10 years now..

I would definitely talk to him about it. Tell him that if he wants to eat those sorts of things he can, but hide them from you. I know from experience my boyfriend can be really not with it when I'm trying to eat healthy.. He'd bring me a cookie and I would respond with, "I'm trying to eat healthy!" and his response would be.. "but you like cookies..?" I really doubt that he is purposely trying to sabotage your weight loss. You just need to sit and have a talk with him.