Kids Say The Darnest Things..

My Mom told me that when I was little, I would call every guy in the grocery store "Daddy". lol! And when I would see I fire truck, I would yell "Fire FRUCK!" Yeah, it didn't sound to good.

My three year old son calls me his wife. He has heard my husband introduce me "This is my wife Aimee" so now my son tells people "this is my wife" Its always good for a laugh.

Ok, Well last week my 4yr old little girl wanted to take a bath in my big garden tub. " the toilet is seperate" I said ok, and I started running the water and told her to get un-dressed and I will go and get her pajamas. I walked out of the bathroom and was gone maybe 2 minutes. I walked back in there and she was not in the tub. I called her name and she said I am in her poo "ing". So I took a few more steps to take a peek in the toilet area and there she is sitting on the toilet with a PLAYBOY magazine !!! And she turns to me and shows me the page she is looking at " NAKED WOMAN " and says : MOM, this lady is showing her BUTT !!! I totally lost it... Then my husband was in trouble after that !!! Even though she should not have gotten a hold of this magazine, it was totally priceless and soooo darn funny !!!

Hope this is ok to post....

Once when my daughter was 4 or 5 yrs old....I was playing a game or paying some bills on the computer in the den. I hear the phone ring and she says 'Hello'....*pause*....then the next thing I hear her say matter-of-factly is....

"Sorry, my Daddy can't come to the phone right now, he's playing with his 'peter."

*REALLY long pause*....then she hangs up.

To this day, I have no idea who it was that called...and I'm ok with that. 8-x

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There is a hill on the way to our church that kindof gives you that weightless feeling and my 3 yr old son loves to go over it fast and giggles and screams when we do. One Sunday headed to church as we approached the hill he says, "I'm gonna say a nasty word when we go over my hill!". Were thinking Oh Lord what has he heard one of us or someone say. As we top the hill he's laughing and screams, "GARBAGE!!!". We all just die laughing the rest of the way to church.

I love this one! soooo cute!

One of my co-workers has a son (about 5 i think)
Last Christmas he caught his son kissing an 8 yr little girl at one of the parties they were at, My cw takes his son Jr to the bathroom and askes him "Jr why are you kissing on that little gir, she's older than you" Jr says "Daddy she's really pretty"

Ok ok I have one.....so one day my aunt was talking to me, my sister and my cousin about becoming teenagers and such....we got on the topic of sex and my aunt made a statement that you girls are all virgins now and blah blah.....my cousin yelled "I am not a virgin ( she was about 11 years old)!" everyone was like-- yes u are! We all went back and forward a couple of times with yes you are, no I am not, yes YOU ARE!!!!! My cousin finally yelled, I am not a virgin I am a LEO! Hahaha we still laugh about that one!

My three year old wanted to know what was in the miso soup she was eating the other day, so my husband told her it was tofu, it is yummy and good for you. So a few days later I walk into her room where she and my 9 month old are playing, and I see the baby sucking on her toes. Immediately I go "Ew, Rachel, get your toes out of Roni's mouth, that's gross." To which she responds, "But Mommy, Daddy said toe food was yummy and good for you." I still can't stop laughing when I think about it.

On the other side, the embarrassing side, I was having trouble sleeping a few months ago, getting maybe 2 hrs of sleep a night, and my husband decided he was tired of seeing his wife look like a zombie and was taking matters into his own hands. So one day he came home from the liquor store with a small bottle of vodka and some cranberry juice. When my daughter asked what the bottle was, he replied honestly, "This is alcohol to help Mommy sleep." We didn't think twice about it until last week when we returned from a shopping trip and started unloading groceries in front of the kids and my mother-in-law. As my husband pulled out the bottle of rubbing alcohol my daughter, always curious, piped up "What's that Daddy?" "Rubbing alcohol." "Oh, that's the stuff that helps Mommy sleep." *i sink through the floor as i look at MIL's questioning face*

Oh yeah, last one, but truly priceless: We were having a really hard time with potty training my older daughter immediately after the baby was born (jealousy and regression and all that). After a particularly trying week with multiple accidents a day I scooped my daughter up in my arms and felt a disconcerting wetness. I asked, "Rachel, are you panties wet?" She just looked me in the eyes and asked in a matter-of-fact tone, "Mommy, does Cookie Monster eat cookies?" I think that is the toddler version of "Does a bear s**t in the woods?"

We were a military family when our son was small. The kid and I were flying out ot Salt Lake City to Atlanta to meet hubby for a few days. He was about 5 or 6 then and when the plane took off he said, very loudly, "My tallywhacker feels funny!" The entire section of cheap seats were in hysterics laughing.

Hahaha just remembered a really good one...a few months back i was really ill. I was in the bathroom when my partner came home, he asked our 7 yr old where i was, she replied, mums in the bathroom again. I think we will have another baby in house soon. My partner was white as a ghost when i came back from the bathroom, i asked him what was wrong and he said is there something you haven't told me?
lol poor guy scared him half to death

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