Do relationships make people fatter?

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  • peteyTwang
    peteyTwang Posts: 250
    That's smart! ... not just for your individual health but the health of the relationship too, because active elevated heart beats will make you fall for each other that much deeper :happy:
    But now that I'm single again, I've lost all of that weight and then some, and I've been pushing the men I'm currently dating to do more active things with me
  • chickybabe05
    chickybabe05 Posts: 48
    yeah because people get lazy.

    i wouldn't accept that if a partner of mine started putting on weight when i married them.

    Lol sounds harsh but fair enough, as long as you go about it the right way.

    And yes i think it ppl tend to get comfortable in a relationship and therefore put less effort into apperance....not just weight, its everything...I remember back when DP and i first got together, i would always make the effort to look nice for him, but now 8 years later i spend alot of time in comfy not so flattering clothes :S so guilty as charged here!!!
  • Becky011
    Becky011 Posts: 384
    This is soooooo true. Its unfortunate but it is what it is. At the end of the day we have to make a hard choice that we have to do the right thing, eating right, working out etc. I still struggle but as of late am doing better. He knows my goal and that this is the right thing to do.
    good luck!
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I definitly think complacency sets in. You feel loved and attractive,and co dependent. And food/drink is an enjoyable pastime to share together cuddled up all cosy, not sweating your *kitten* off in a gym!

    For me, eventually, reality bites tho and I regain my independence.

    Single at the moment, so trying to get back to my goal weight ................just to start all over again!! :laugh:
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
    Yes! My guy has gained 25 over 4 years living together, but he is still within his BMI. I gained a bit more. I now weigh less than I did when I met him 5 years ago. My guy pretty much insists on going out for at least one meal during the weekend. He thinks since I make his lunch/dinner for work every day and fix him good food on the weekends I should get AT LEAST one meal a week that I don't cook. When I do cook at home on the weekends he insists on doing the dishes. He does laundry, cleans the bathrooms, and can cook too. No you can't have him!
  • MrsWendyQ
    MrsWendyQ Posts: 125 Member
    Oh, yes...yes they do! Since I could only pretty much see my fiance' at the bar and late at nights when we first got together we both put on quite a bit. But he's since dropped his rather quickly and I'm still fighting the fight! Although most of mine was from before we were together.

    I saw this post and immediately thought of one of our favorite youtube videos, it's called "Wilbur explains love." Whenever we go out now I always ask him if we're going on a date, because I'm going to order something called a salad! LOVE IT! (yes, yes, we're goofy, we know it!)
  • MrsWendyQ
    MrsWendyQ Posts: 125 Member
    Yes! My guy has gained 25 over 4 years living together, but he is still within his BMI. I gained a bit more. I now weigh less than I did when I met him 5 years ago. My guy pretty much insists on going out for at least one meal during the weekend. He thinks since I make his lunch/dinner for work every day and fix him good food on the weekends I should get AT LEAST one meal a week that I don't cook. When I do cook at home on the weekends he insists on doing the dishes. He does laundry, cleans the bathrooms, and can cook too. No you can't have him!

    Awe, he sounds a lot like mine! Definitely a keeper! Mine is a professional cook, and a damned good one! He cleans, does laundry and when my back is really bothering me he even cleans the bathroom too!
  • 7RandomNames
    7RandomNames Posts: 12
    Eating habits change, levels of physical activity change. It's especially difficult if you marry a guy who is UNDERweight. How do you work on plumping your guy up and slimming yourself down?
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    I put on weight when I had a relationship with Burger King, LOL.

    But yea, people tend to get lazy about their appearance after settling into a relationship. Well, maybe not lazy, but priorities change, I think.

    It's easier to keep in shape if both halves are involved. If it's just one, it's harder.
  • traceytoo
    traceytoo Posts: 163
    :flowerforyou: I had lost 6 stone when I met my partner and had kept it off for over a year - food was not the main focus in my life anymore, but when I met him, you go out drinking more, restaurants, suddenly cuddled up in front of the TV with a take away becomes the norm and over 6 months I put on 2 stone - was disgusted with myself, been working since Christmas to get it off - another stone to go ... funny thing is, he's lost over 2 stone since we met lol ... go figure that one :sad:
  • melrae675
    melrae675 Posts: 17 Member
    I can understand why this would be the case but my new husband and I are trying to beat this trend. After being so heavy my whole life and he with about 65 pounds to lose we are using our union as a team effort for change. We have lost 48.4 pounds since the first of the year. I like to think we are bucking that trend.

    3386692.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods
  • lesley1981
    lesley1981 Posts: 329 Member
    I have often said that I spend the first few months of a relationship putting on weight, and the rest of my life losing it.

    TBH, when I started seeing my boyfriend I couldn't wait to see him in the evenings! On the days that he got out of work early (he worked some nights until 8, and some until 5) I would skip my home cooked meal so that I could get out to see him earlier, then we would get some form of fast food when we met up!

    I'm very lucky that he has been supportive of me while I've been losing weight, but as I've lost, he's put on! He blames me, saying that it's a shame to waste the food that I can't finish :laugh:

    A number of my male friends have said on numerous occasions that there's nothing worse that taking a girl out for a meal, then having her order a salad, or chasing food around the plate with a fork! One friend in particular said that he wouldn't take a girl out again if she did that....
  • happy_vegan
    happy_vegan Posts: 200 Member
    I think it's just because when you're around other people you want to share food, it's just natural, i mean think about it: bar-b-qs, family reunions, thanksgiving, christmas, parties... they're all about drinking and eating together. So when your'e in a relationship that's what you do as well :)

    I tend to gain a little weight. I think it's because by myself I hardly eat out/drink/eat sweets myself but with a significant other we go on dates to movies and dinners and ice cream and drinking...
    of course, my last girlfriend was vegan and we even exercised together...
    but even then we would go to the vegan ice cream parlor or out to eat or make our own cookies at home! We ate healthy most meals, really, but it's those extra things that I wouldn't normally do that made me gain a little bit.

    I don't really buy into the you stop caring about how you look thing, I think you just focus your eating differently and sometimes it's hard to realize it when you're in it. Not an excuse, but a reason.
  • petithamu
    petithamu Posts: 582 Member
    Yes. At least it did with us. I love cooking but when I was on my own, it was easy to work out and eat differently because I just cooked for one person plus I had more time to work out. When I started going out with my bf 5 years ago, I weight 118lbs and did yoga, running and toning weekly. Then we got together and all I wanted to do was cook all of his favorite food and test out new recipes, we both gained 20lbs! But he put a stop to his and started cycling to work...and I switched job to an office job and I just kept gaining...we've had many fights about my weight gain, mainly cuz he said he doesn't recognize the girl he met 5 years ago...well...44lbs heavier and depressed, yeah, I wasn't liking myself either...

    That old statement really is true...you can't expect others to love you if you don't love yourself first and if I'm abusing my body and not take care of it, I don't have anyone else to blame but me and how could I expect him to love me if I obviously didn't care about me?

    But that's all changing now! I'm working out regularly again, cooking really healthy alternatives to my old favorites and things are looking up!
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
    My hubby is doing his 6th Ironman Triathlon this year and also gunning for 2:45 at London Marathon.

    His idea of "getting comfortable" would be to race Half Maras instead of full ones. LOL

    No getting fat in this house!
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
    Eating habits change, levels of physical activity change. It's especially difficult if you marry a guy who is UNDERweight. How do you work on plumping your guy up and slimming yourself down?

    That's the case with us. It's actually relatively easy. We both eat pretty clean but both eat the same stuff, but I eat a fraction of what he gets.
  • milehighcritic
    milehighcritic Posts: 199
    I gained 40+lbs over my last relationship. My ex preferred eating out over home cooking. When I returned to my home cooking ways the weight started to come off.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    Both my husband and I have lost weight since we married, It has been a conscious effort as we both needed to as we were lardy fat *kitten* who got lazy and complacent in the first part of our relationship. He is older at 55 than his father was when he died, I would like to spend my old age with him as we love each other very much. Doing this together has helped us a lot, there is no one in this house who is sabotaging the change :flowerforyou:
  • Bootzey
    Bootzey Posts: 274 Member
    I gained 30lbs since July! In July I began cohabitating with my man. All of a sudden I'm cooking 3 big meals a day for him rather than eating at will which was less calories than I had been eating alone. Way less! You bond and have 'family' time over food.
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
    Lost ten pounds when I got divorced. I gained 40(ish) when I met my wonderful man.
  • charmingopal
    charmingopal Posts: 49 Member
    Lost ten pounds when I got divorced. I gained 40(ish) when I met my wonderful man.
    TOUCHE, c'est la vie amour!
  • Mountain_woman
    Mountain_woman Posts: 229 Member
    I believe so. I have experienced this myself. My last relationship, my ex was a very negative influence on me. We indulged in a lot of "herbal" habits and I gained a whopping 80lbs. Yep. Our favorite thing to do together was indulge. I left him and lost not only his 267lb, but 100 of my own!
  • craft338
    craft338 Posts: 870 Member
    yeah because people get lazy.

    i wouldn't accept that if a partner of mine started putting on weight when i married them.

    nice guy.
  • mamabearr
    mamabearr Posts: 304
    LOL at some of these comments.

    I gained 30 lbs when I got with my boyfriend. But it's his fault. He got me pregnant and then constantly fed me chicken wings and pizza lunchables.
  • Hova1914
    Hova1914 Posts: 82 Member
    Getting married made me want to be healthier so I could live long enough to properly enjoy (torture) my husband. My wedding was in August and the dress is several sizes too big (US 16 and I'm now a UK 10/US 6-8.) They don't have to make you bigger! We should all want to be at our best while in a relationship, to keep things alive.
    Lol @ enjoy (torture). It's funny cause it's true! Lmao
  • MontanaB
    MontanaB Posts: 439 Member
    I gained around 30-35lbs in my first proper relationship - being 16 at the time I didn't think much of gaining the weight although looking back I can see where I gained it - I wouldn't think twice about drinking litres of coke and lemonade with chips, sandwiches, burgers, kebabs, pizzas and chips.. I don't blame him or his family for it happening - I made the decision to eat and I have to deal with the consequences.. pretty much everyone on here made the decision to eat unless they were strapped down to a bed and force fed!

    3 and a bit years later I'm settled now with a gorgeous h2b and not far off being at my lightest weight (from before the ex) and he's nearly 110lbs lighter as well and we both feel so much better for it!

    We both know where we went astray and that now is the time to fix it - looking back at where it all went wrong is not going to change our futures :)
  • Syreeta6
    Syreeta6 Posts: 377 Member
    I gained 12 pounds after getting married in April. My husband put on weight as well but luckily we am doing something about it now and trying to have a more healthy and active lifestyle lol
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