How do you deal with compliments?
Soooze
Posts: 122 Member
A lot of people are commenting on my weight loss lately.
like: 'Wow! You look good, you lost some weight'
or 'I haven't been at the gym in a while and I haven't seen you but wow! you look terrific!'
So, my question to you is, what do you reply?
I know I should take the compliment. I should at least say 'Thank you!'
I try. But I get uncomfortable and I don't know what to say!
I always reply 'Yes, but I don't see the results on the scale!'
I hardly see any results on the scale but I know I'm building muscle and getting leaner.
I just dont' know what to answer those people.
like: 'Wow! You look good, you lost some weight'
or 'I haven't been at the gym in a while and I haven't seen you but wow! you look terrific!'
So, my question to you is, what do you reply?
I know I should take the compliment. I should at least say 'Thank you!'
I try. But I get uncomfortable and I don't know what to say!
I always reply 'Yes, but I don't see the results on the scale!'
I hardly see any results on the scale but I know I'm building muscle and getting leaner.
I just dont' know what to answer those people.
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Replies
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i just say , "Thank you I'm working on it" lol0
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I smile and say "Thank you!" and then go "toss, toss" with my hair. :P0
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I smile and say "Thank you!" and then go "toss, toss" with my hair. :P
Love it!0 -
It makes people feel good to know they've made you feel good. I say thank you and show them that I appreciate it.0
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I smile and say "Thank you!" and then go "toss, toss" with my hair. :P
Love it!
lol ditto!0 -
My reply is usually similar to Melisha82. People will ask am I losing weight and I'll say, "I'm working on it!" or "I'm trying!"0
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I completely understand - while my scale hasn't budged much in the last month, I've gone down another dress size. While I want the weight loss, my focus right now is lean muscle increase. SO...
Take the compliment! The people commenting are being genuine, and telling you that THEY see a difference. While it's hard to take a compliment when you feel like the results aren't what YOU want, THEY are expressing their sincere appreciation of your efforts and how good you look. I wouldn't downplay it by saying "I don't see results" because that just minimizes their opinion, and may even make them feel uncomfortable.
One of the biggest obstacles of losing weight is being happy with who you are while you're trying to get to who you want to be. Use this as practice for buildling your self esteem. If you can't like who you are now, how will you enjoy who you are later?
And hey, the honest fact is - you do look terrific!
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over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.
(and yes, there is a noticeable difference)
So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)0 -
i just say , "Thank you I'm working on it" lol
That's pretty much what I say too. It's a nice generic response.
As far as not noticing the loss on the scale. I hear ya. I can definitely see changes in my body since starting to exercise regularly but the scale doesn't say I've lost much of anything. I've never really been one to care what the scale says anyway. I think once someone is happy with the way they actually look and feel, it won't matter what the scale tells us. Just like age, it's nothing but a number! 0 -
My reply is usually similar to Melisha82. People will ask am I losing weight and I'll say, "I'm working on it!" or "I'm trying!"
This.0 -
ooooooooo.... can i steal your quote? well i am.. its great!!!!!! I love it... so simple and damn true!0
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Totally agree with saying thanks and I'm working on it. You've worked hard and deserve the compliments! 0
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I usually turn away from them as I lower my head because I am a little embarrassed that I got so big that even 2 lb weight loss is noticeable. But I do say thank you and tell them its not easy. But I work on it everyday. Its crazy though. I feel you. Sometimes I think I blush. My neighbor across the street asked me about it the other day and I just kinda grinned the best I could. Thankfully my mom was there and jumped in. yeah she has! shes lost like 78 lbs and then he starts asking how. i can handle the how. I dont know what I am going to do when I get to where I want to be. I am going to be blushing like crazy. Not used to getting compliments.0
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over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.
(and yes, there is a noticeable difference)
So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)
same here,, i got to 35 lbs before anyone said anything,,, really pissed me off for a while... but at the point now where it doesnt matter. i feel awesome and i'm doing things i never thought i would..0 -
Thank you for posting this! I'm so bad at taking compliments and I think the advice you got here is really helpful for everyone.0
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it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.
the follow up is How much have you lost
50lbs..
How did you do it?
Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...
Oh....
:laugh:0 -
My wife is having the same problem with the scale. She has completely transformed her body with a committed workout routine over the last year. She has settled in at a weight and can't seem to get past it. But when I look at her intimately I can definitely tell a huge difference. Her body has shifted insanely and I believe the reasont he weight hasn't gone done is b/c she has built up her lower body muscle groups.
She is very self-confident about it and gets angry and disgruntled when she gets on the scale. If it was up to me I'd throw that damn thing out and never let her see one again. So I completely understand where you are coming from and hope you realize that muscle does weigh more than fat so even if you have put weight on that could be the answer.0 -
My reply is usually similar to Melisha82. People will ask am I losing weight and I'll say, "I'm working on it!" or "I'm trying!"
This.
Yep.0 -
Mine really depends on what kind of mood I'm in and who's saying it. If it's someone that I'm a casual acquaintance with that says "Wow, you look great!" I usually say "Thanks! I'm trying really hard" Yes, with the smile. If it's someone I know really well and I'm feeling a little frisky, I'll say "I know! Right?!?!" LOL 0
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When I get complimented on my weight loss I shyly smile and say "Thank you, I'm trying." When I get told I look pretty, I'm extremely awkward and say something like, "Oh, um, good genes I guess? Make-up helps..."0
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Just had this happen the other day ... someone said OMG you have lost a ton of weight since I last saw you.
The funny thing, I had actually gained 2 pounds... but Ive toned up, slimmed down size wise and she was genuinely trying to give me a compliment.
I resisted the urge to tell her the truth ... and instead said ... wow thanks for noticing!0 -
LOL! I lost 15 pounds and no one said anything. Then I got sick and lost another 5 and everyone things it's because of the illness. I worked really hard on this.over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.
(and yes, there is a noticeable difference)
So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)
same here,, i got to 35 lbs before anyone said anything,,, really pissed me off for a while... but at the point now where it doesnt matter. i feel awesome and i'm doing things i never thought i would..
BTW when people ask "How?" and I say, "I ate less and exercised more," they're disappointed. People want a magic pill.0 -
it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.
the follow up is How much have you lost
50lbs..
How did you do it?
Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...
Oh....
:laugh:
LOL no one wants to hear how I did it either. Lots and lots of hours running... they always think there is some magic pill, formula, or workout...0 -
I usually also say, "working on it."0
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it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.
the follow up is How much have you lost
50lbs..
How did you do it?
Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...
Oh....
:laugh:
Haha! Exactly! I always just say thank you so much, I've lost weight but most importantly I've become healthier and have more energy.
Some have shown obvious disappointment when I tell them how I did it... old fashioned healthy eating and exercise... who knew?!?0 -
A lot of people are commenting on my weight loss lately.
like: 'Wow! You look good, you lost some weight'
or 'I haven't been at the gym in a while and I haven't seen you but wow! you look terrific!'
So, my question to you is, what do you reply?
I know I should take the compliment. I should at least say 'Thank you!'
I try. But I get uncomfortable and I don't know what to say!
I always reply 'Yes, but I don't see the results on the scale!'
I hardly see any results on the scale but I know I'm building muscle and getting leaner.
I just dont' know what to answer those people.
I used to always say "thanks...I don't see it" or "thanks....I still have a long way to go"
But I stopped saying that. I heard from a friend a while back that if you say something like that in response to a compliment you are basically cancelling it out. You are taking the joy away from the person giving you the compliment.
So now I say "thanks" even if I don't believe it. Sometimes I will even say "thanks, I have come a long way."
The more you accept the compliments the more you will start to believe them yourself. 0 -
it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.
the follow up is How much have you lost
50lbs..
How did you do it?
Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...
Oh....
:laugh:
I have started asking people if they really want to know. Cause I get the same thing. "Whats the secret?" "Do you really want to know?0 -
Yes! I've said that too 'Thanks! I still have a lot of work ahead of me' or 'yes, now if I could just stop that evening snack'!!!
But after reading all these wonderful replies, next time I'll answer:
'Thanks, I appreciate the compliment'!
It does feel good to hear it from a stranger or coworkers! It's nice that they go out of their way to give compliments!
(I do it too sometimes when I notice a woman at the gym who works hard and toned up!)
I do want to take the compliment.. I just feel like I have to say something back and usually it would negate the compliment.
Not good. I need to work on this!0 -
Words to the effect of: "Thanks so much for noticing and taking the time to mention it. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated."0
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I too have a hard time with compliments, and as someone mentioned here... they are really heartfelt & genuine.. so somewhere in there we need to start feeling worthy of our achievements as well. A sense of love & respect for self, a sense of acknowledgment to ourselves for work done well. I think everything we are making better choices with food, exercise & water intake we are loving ourselves more. Every time we are setting goals to achieve, we are loving ourselves more.. and so the tender love for self for accepting compliments is something I am starting to nurture... caz I am also working on my building a healthy self esteem that got corroded as I let myself go:-)0
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