How do you deal with compliments?

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13

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  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
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    it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.

    the follow up is How much have you lost

    50lbs..

    How did you do it?

    Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...

    Oh....

    :laugh:

    Me, when I get the "how did you do it" question, I get all quiet and conspiratorial like I'm about to tell a HUGE secret, and then whisper: "eat less, exercise more."
  • Cytherea
    Cytherea Posts: 515 Member
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    I always just say thank you. It was nice of them to compliment you, and I think brushing it aside is somewhat rude, even if you aren't feeling it. The one thing that I do say otherwise is when somebody says "OMG you're so skinny!" I will say something like "well, not yet, but I'm working on it!" because I know I'm not skinny, maybe skinny compared to how I used to be, but definitely not skinny in general. One thing that I've learned over the years is that getting all embarrassed and blushing and refusing to accept compliments seems very juvenile, very teenager-ish. It is so much more graceful and adult-like to accept the compliment without making a big deal about it. A smile and saying "thank you" is enough.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    "Thanks. I've been working hard" is my standard answer.
    It feel so good when people notice. It never gets old.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    First, they have to recognize me, which is a compliment in itself. Then the accolades come.

    It's usually, "GAAAAAADDAAAAAAAAAMMN! You lost a sh*tload of weight!"

    My reply: "Just a little." With a cheesy *kitten* smirk on my face.

    If they say, "You look GOOD!"

    I say, "I know. I've been. I just look better now."

    In reality, I'm a bit of a self-centered attention *kitten*, so compliments just further stroke an ego that needs no further stroking. I've already had my heaviest weight's worth of confidence, and then some. :bigsmile:
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
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    over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
    Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.

    (and yes, there is a noticeable difference)

    So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)


    Shelly, so sad!! You need new friends. I ask my friends to tell me when they notice a differance and be honest, not fake or just trying to make me feel good! LOL.
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
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    First, they have to recognize me, which is a compliment in itself. Then the accolades come.

    It's usually, "GAAAAAADDAAAAAAAAAMMN! You lost a sh*tload of weight!"

    My reply: "Just a little." With a cheesy *kitten* smirk on my face.

    If they say, "You look GOOD!"

    I say, "I know. I've been. I just look better now."

    In reality, I'm a bit of a self-centered attention *kitten*, so compliments just further stroke an ego that needs no further stroking. I've already had my heaviest weight's worth of confidence, and then some. :bigsmile:

    Dork...gotta love him!!! LOL
  • daddyratty
    daddyratty Posts: 305 Member
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    Just say "thank you."

    Whatever you do, you don't want to minimize or marginalize their compliment. Think of how it feels when you compliment someone (clothes, house, car, etc.) and they respond with something like "oh, it's not much" or "I got it on sale at Kohl's" or something. People don't compliment you so that you can share with them how little you paid for something or how hard it's been.

    Now if they ask questions about how you have done it, etc., THEN you can share.

    Oh, and congratulations! :)
  • JennsLosing
    JennsLosing Posts: 1,026
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    a couple of the guys that work at the gym have told me "your thinning out" and "dang girl your losing wieght" im just like THANKS!! bout time somebody noticed! lol but they know my weight loss goals, so i take it that they are encouraging me.
  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
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    Ermm still waiting for one, well apart from hubby that is. I've lost nearly 15 kilograms and not one compliment :sad: It must be like they all said............because you're tall you carry the weight well. :wink:
  • EricMurano
    EricMurano Posts: 825 Member
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    I've always had a hard time accepting compliments not just with weight loss but with anything. I used to reply with a self-deprecating comment because I didn't think I deserved the compliment.

    I've found that the best way to respond to a compliment is 'Thank You' or some form of it. If you still feel like you don't deserve it try saying "you're too kind", which still conveys gratitude for the compliment but still offers you some satisfying, yet veiled, self-deprecation ;)
  • Leannek74
    Leannek74 Posts: 374 Member
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    i just say , "Thank you I'm working on it" lol

    Nice, can I use it?
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    My variation is to say "Well, I've a bit to go yet, but I'm happy with my progress".

    Some will ask how - my answer is "Half the carbs, double the exercise (concentrating on strength), and LOADS of water"
  • june_warner
    june_warner Posts: 126 Member
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    I am the same way. I have a hard time accepting compliments, but you need to just say "Thank you" and smile. Don't put anything negative after that. You have worked hard and even if you don't feel you deserve it, people want to acknowledge it. You do deserve it! The more you lose, the more compliments you are gonna get, so get use to it :smile: Congrats on your success so far!!
  • cathyv0409
    cathyv0409 Posts: 230 Member
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    I'm with those of you who haven't had anyone (or many) notice. I'm down 40 pounds (oh how I love the sound of that) and just this week have had the first two people mention it. The first said, "You like like you have slimmed down a little bit" I just said yeah thanks but wanted to say What do you mean a little? :bigsmile: Last night I saw someone I had seen for awhile and when she said You have lost weight I said yes a little. My friend who "gets" to listen to my progress reports jumped in and said You have lost more than a little!

    Thanks for this thread. I needed to think about how to respond!
    Cathy
  • Connie48
    Connie48 Posts: 190 Member
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    I"ve finally learned to just say "thank you".....I used to add "I haven't lost much yet" Now I say thanks and leave it at that. I did have someone ask "are you on a special kind of diet'? I smiled and said no, just losing wt the old fashioned way by moving more and eating less".....this person replied 'oh" with such disappointment I had to laugh!
  • Allison128
    Allison128 Posts: 116 Member
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    I have a hard time with compliments. I don't know why but I really do. Especially when they look at you in aww and say "WOW! You look great.... looks like you've lost a TON!" I HATE THE WORD TON! A TON is 1000lbs. I've lost 20lbs.... please don't make me out to bigger then I was. That's kinda how I take it. I know... its stupid.
  • Soooze
    Soooze Posts: 122 Member
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    It's so much fun to hear all your stories!
    I guess we pretty much all have the same 'problem' with taking compliments!
    Its quite funny because, isn't that what we're doing this for? To be healthy (off course) and to look/feel good! But really, I think for most of us, it's to look good! I don't consider myself unhealthy, I just have some pounds to shed. So when we do get that compliment, we don't know what to say! And believe me, I know what to say when I get insulted! :devil:

    So, 2 days in a row now! Today, I'm driving home after the gym and this guy next to me pulls down his window and asks me my phone number! :blushing: I was stunned! Then I said 'well, I can't'. He said 'why not?" and I said 'I'm married and have 2 kids' and his reply: 'Yeah! So?'
    Needless to say, I drove home with a huge smile on my face! Actually, I was giggling! And, he was ok looking too!
    I had been a while!
  • mrssparkle
    mrssparkle Posts: 47
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    Not quire sure what I would say. When my husband actually notices - without being prompted, I will let you know. :laugh: Seriously, just say thankyou and enjoy it. :flowerforyou:
  • rosebud916
    rosebud916 Posts: 9 Member
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    I complimented someone one time , and his response was " thanks for noticing " I thought that was a nice response :)
  • greekpeaches
    greekpeaches Posts: 1 Member
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    I know what you mean. Usually the first thought that comes to my mind when someone gives me a compliment on my size is..."Was I that big before?"...but just keep saying thanks and eventually it won't feel akward to hear it.

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