How do you deal with compliments?
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I always say "thanks. I'm a work in progress" or something I just don't even know what to say depending what the compliment is. When the guy I'm dating tries to compliment me I just laugh and shrug it off when I shouldn't.0
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I get really shy. I don't know why this is. I am not a shy person. A lot of times what I get isn't really even a compliment, one friend said, "Oh, my gosh! You're smaller than the last time I saw you!" Um, thanks?
So, I get shy and I look down and I say, "Thank you. It's been A LOT of hard work and I've never felt better."0 -
The best compliment I ever received was walking past a group of my friends and them not recognizing me. Gave me a bigger secret smile then if they would have said anything in the world.LOL no one wants to hear how I did it either. Lots and lots of hours running... they always think there is some magic pill, formula, or workout...
Thats exactly how I feel!!! Everyone assumes that it just sort of happens... not without a lot of hard work!
The follow-up question is always difficult when they ask 'how much'. To me its the same as the number of dollars I have in my bank account, none of their business. I'm doing this for ME!0 -
I thank them and I say most importain things is that I feel so much better0
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LOL no one wants to hear how I did it either. Lots and lots of hours running... they always think there is some magic pill, formula, or workout...
Thats exactly how I feel!!! Everyone assumes that it just sort of happens... not without a lot of hard work!
Yes! They get upset when you tell them hard work. They are hoping you are going to tell them some magical pill or that you just woke up one day and had lost everything. My favorite was when someone asked my sister and she said she works her ever loving butt off every single day because THAT'S how bad she wants it.0 -
While it is hard that our results don't always show up on the scale, I am always thankful that we don't walk around with our weight posted on our foreheads (or behinds, whichever is larger) . . . so when my body is changing and my scale isn't, and I receive a compliment, I am thankful that someone is seeing a difference.0
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This may sound strange, but in the past compliments have been the catalyst for my diet demise. I think it has to do with me realizing that others are aware of my weight (and have been). I become very self conscious and start to feel the shame of getting so fat and that other people have taken notice. That sends me into that downward spiral of eating to feed my emotions. For that reason, I rarely comment on someone's weight loss. I know when others are complimenting me that they mean well and it makes them feel good to "notice my effort", but it really has the opposite effect for me.
I started getting compliments this week. I have had several people notice that I have lost some weight and I could hear those evil little voices telling me to eat. I was very glad to see this thread when I did because talking about is helping me to just keep on moving toward my goal.
Keep up the good work everyone!!! And thanks to my MFP friends for the awesome support!!!0 -
I usually say thanks, I've been working on it. If I know they are really sincere, I give a big smile :happy: with that "thank you". Makes them feel good and makes me feel good too!! Sometimes they might even get a :blushing: with that "thank you."0
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This may sound strange, but in the past compliments have been the catalyst for my diet demise. I think it has to do with me realizing that others are aware of my weight (and have been). I become very self conscious and start to feel the shame of getting so fat and that other people have taken notice. That sends me into that downward spiral of eating to feed my emotions. For that reason, I rarely comment on someone's weight loss. I know when others are complimenting me that they mean well and it makes them feel good to "notice my effort", but it really has the opposite effect for me.
I started getting compliments this week. I have had several people notice that I have lost some weight and I could hear those evil little voices telling me to eat. I was very glad to see this thread when I did because talking about is helping me to just keep on moving toward my goal.
Keep up the good work everyone!!! And thanks to my MFP friends for the awesome support!!!
I can relate to what you're saying...that others have been aware of my weight - for them to notice it's different is kind of shameful. While it doesn't send me into a binge, it's a little embarrassing.
I do agree though, it takes courage from other people to acknowledge your loss. They may have noticed earlier but not said anything, just in case. It's like when someone is pregnant - you don't ask if they're pregnant until they're obviously pregnant!
I've recently started to get compliments and it gets me all flustered when people point it out. I usually just automatically reply with a 'Thank you!', but think of all kinds of things I should've said after they're gone!0 -
over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.
(and yes, there is a noticeable difference)
So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)
It took at least 40 lbs for people to notice on me. I mean, my friends at the gym noticed before that, but they knew I was trying to lose weight. But "regular" people who didn't already know I was trying to lose weight never said anything until I was about 40 lbs. down - even coworkers and family members that I see on a monthly basis never said a word. I think even though it might be obvious to us, people are somewhat reluctant to comment on another person's weight unless it's crystal clear they're really losing. Now, I get comments almost daily. And I smile and say "Thanks - I'm trying!" And I always tell people I'm doing it by exercising and eating right.0 -
it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.
the follow up is How much have you lost
50lbs..
How did you do it?
Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...
Oh....
:laugh:
Me, when I get the "how did you do it" question, I get all quiet and conspiratorial like I'm about to tell a HUGE secret, and then whisper: "eat less, exercise more."0 -
I always just say thank you. It was nice of them to compliment you, and I think brushing it aside is somewhat rude, even if you aren't feeling it. The one thing that I do say otherwise is when somebody says "OMG you're so skinny!" I will say something like "well, not yet, but I'm working on it!" because I know I'm not skinny, maybe skinny compared to how I used to be, but definitely not skinny in general. One thing that I've learned over the years is that getting all embarrassed and blushing and refusing to accept compliments seems very juvenile, very teenager-ish. It is so much more graceful and adult-like to accept the compliment without making a big deal about it. A smile and saying "thank you" is enough.0
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"Thanks. I've been working hard" is my standard answer.
It feel so good when people notice. It never gets old.0 -
First, they have to recognize me, which is a compliment in itself. Then the accolades come.
It's usually, "GAAAAAADDAAAAAAAAAMMN! You lost a sh*tload of weight!"
My reply: "Just a little." With a cheesy *kitten* smirk on my face.
If they say, "You look GOOD!"
I say, "I know. I've been. I just look better now."
In reality, I'm a bit of a self-centered attention *kitten*, so compliments just further stroke an ego that needs no further stroking. I've already had my heaviest weight's worth of confidence, and then some. :bigsmile:0 -
over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.
(and yes, there is a noticeable difference)
So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)
Shelly, so sad!! You need new friends. I ask my friends to tell me when they notice a differance and be honest, not fake or just trying to make me feel good! LOL.0 -
First, they have to recognize me, which is a compliment in itself. Then the accolades come.
It's usually, "GAAAAAADDAAAAAAAAAMMN! You lost a sh*tload of weight!"
My reply: "Just a little." With a cheesy *kitten* smirk on my face.
If they say, "You look GOOD!"
I say, "I know. I've been. I just look better now."
In reality, I'm a bit of a self-centered attention *kitten*, so compliments just further stroke an ego that needs no further stroking. I've already had my heaviest weight's worth of confidence, and then some. :bigsmile:
Dork...gotta love him!!! LOL0 -
Just say "thank you."
Whatever you do, you don't want to minimize or marginalize their compliment. Think of how it feels when you compliment someone (clothes, house, car, etc.) and they respond with something like "oh, it's not much" or "I got it on sale at Kohl's" or something. People don't compliment you so that you can share with them how little you paid for something or how hard it's been.
Now if they ask questions about how you have done it, etc., THEN you can share.
Oh, and congratulations!
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a couple of the guys that work at the gym have told me "your thinning out" and "dang girl your losing wieght" im just like THANKS!! bout time somebody noticed! lol but they know my weight loss goals, so i take it that they are encouraging me.0
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Ermm still waiting for one, well apart from hubby that is. I've lost nearly 15 kilograms and not one compliment :sad: It must be like they all said............because you're tall you carry the weight well.
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I've always had a hard time accepting compliments not just with weight loss but with anything. I used to reply with a self-deprecating comment because I didn't think I deserved the compliment.
I've found that the best way to respond to a compliment is 'Thank You' or some form of it. If you still feel like you don't deserve it try saying "you're too kind", which still conveys gratitude for the compliment but still offers you some satisfying, yet veiled, self-deprecation 0 -
i just say , "Thank you I'm working on it" lol
Nice, can I use it?0 -
My variation is to say "Well, I've a bit to go yet, but I'm happy with my progress".
Some will ask how - my answer is "Half the carbs, double the exercise (concentrating on strength), and LOADS of water"0 -
I am the same way. I have a hard time accepting compliments, but you need to just say "Thank you" and smile. Don't put anything negative after that. You have worked hard and even if you don't feel you deserve it, people want to acknowledge it. You do deserve it! The more you lose, the more compliments you are gonna get, so get use to it Congrats on your success so far!! 0
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I'm with those of you who haven't had anyone (or many) notice. I'm down 40 pounds (oh how I love the sound of that) and just this week have had the first two people mention it. The first said, "You like like you have slimmed down a little bit" I just said yeah thanks but wanted to say What do you mean a little? :bigsmile: Last night I saw someone I had seen for awhile and when she said You have lost weight I said yes a little. My friend who "gets" to listen to my progress reports jumped in and said You have lost more than a little!
Thanks for this thread. I needed to think about how to respond!
Cathy0 -
I"ve finally learned to just say "thank you".....I used to add "I haven't lost much yet" Now I say thanks and leave it at that. I did have someone ask "are you on a special kind of diet'? I smiled and said no, just losing wt the old fashioned way by moving more and eating less".....this person replied 'oh" with such disappointment I had to laugh!0
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I have a hard time with compliments. I don't know why but I really do. Especially when they look at you in aww and say "WOW! You look great.... looks like you've lost a TON!" I HATE THE WORD TON! A TON is 1000lbs. I've lost 20lbs.... please don't make me out to bigger then I was. That's kinda how I take it. I know... its stupid.0
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It's so much fun to hear all your stories!
I guess we pretty much all have the same 'problem' with taking compliments!
Its quite funny because, isn't that what we're doing this for? To be healthy (off course) and to look/feel good! But really, I think for most of us, it's to look good! I don't consider myself unhealthy, I just have some pounds to shed. So when we do get that compliment, we don't know what to say! And believe me, I know what to say when I get insulted! :devil:
So, 2 days in a row now! Today, I'm driving home after the gym and this guy next to me pulls down his window and asks me my phone number! :blushing: I was stunned! Then I said 'well, I can't'. He said 'why not?" and I said 'I'm married and have 2 kids' and his reply: 'Yeah! So?'
Needless to say, I drove home with a huge smile on my face! Actually, I was giggling! And, he was ok looking too!
I had been a while!0 -
Not quire sure what I would say. When my husband actually notices - without being prompted, I will let you know. :laugh: Seriously, just say thankyou and enjoy it. :flowerforyou:0
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I complimented someone one time , and his response was " thanks for noticing " I thought that was a nice response 0
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I know what you mean. Usually the first thought that comes to my mind when someone gives me a compliment on my size is..."Was I that big before?"...but just keep saying thanks and eventually it won't feel akward to hear it.0
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