Happy Birthday Chuck Norris

tashjs21
tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
edited September 24 in Chit-Chat
Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago, death hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.



Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as giraffes.



Who's next? :laugh:
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Replies

  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Ok, I have another.

    Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer


    :laugh:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Chuck Norris can make a happy meal cry.

    Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.


    I LOVVVVVVVVE Chuck Norris jokes!!!! :laugh:
  • ScorchPA
    ScorchPA Posts: 23
    When Chuck Norris does push ups, he's actually pushing the Earth away from him
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Chuck Norris can make a happy meal cry.

    Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.


    I LOVVVVVVVVE Chuck Norris jokes!!!! :laugh:


    Me too! :heart: And what better day to indulge in this guilty pleasure? :laugh:
  • DeadZip2010
    DeadZip2010 Posts: 111 Member
    The number of round house kick related deaths went up 4,837% the day Chuck Norris was born.

    Chuck Norris invented time travel, went back and impregnated his mother. Thus proving that Chuck Norris is the only person who could father Cuck Norris.

    I could go on for hours like this. good laughs.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    bwahahahahaha!!!!

    Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • netsirk419
    netsirk419 Posts: 30 Member
    Google "Where is Chuck Norris" and select the "I'm feeling lucky" tab...
  • DeadZip2010
    DeadZip2010 Posts: 111 Member
    Once on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris round house kicked a lamb. He picked up the lamb, rubbed it against his bread and the lamb came back to life. Shortly after he sat the lamb back down he kicked the lamb and killed it again. Proving to the world that the good Chuck givith and the good Chuck taketh away.


    lol
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
    chuck norris is not hung like a horse....horses are hung like chuck norris
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
    Theres no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. It's another fist.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    24zhgde.jpg
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
    When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off

    :laugh:

    Love that one!

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Theres no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. It's another fist.

    chuck-norris-family-guy-padre-de-familia.jpg

    :laugh:
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Theres no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. It's another fist.

    chuck-norris-family-guy-padre-de-familia.jpg

    :laugh:

    Family Guy AND Chuck Norris??? Awesome! :laugh:
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it
  • lizdavis07
    lizdavis07 Posts: 766 Member
    Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.....
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,283 Member
    I ADORE Chuck Norris jokes...

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer...but Chuck Norris never cries.
  • stephr2014
    stephr2014 Posts: 311 Member
    I love chuck norris jokes!
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Google "Where is Chuck Norris" and select the "I'm feeling lucky" tab...

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you
  • RunOnSentence
    RunOnSentence Posts: 32
    I've been determined to be a quiet, creepy lurker, but this thread has pushed me out of the woodwork!

    Thanks to the OP :drinker:

    I'm still in tears laughing about the Pie Chart with 'Believe It's Not Butter!' :laugh: :sad:
  • zave
    zave Posts: 238
    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

    :laugh:

    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Gee thanks, Chuck!
  • stephr2014
    stephr2014 Posts: 311 Member
    There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: Lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.


    For doctors... an apple a day keeps chuck norris away.
  • jljohnson
    jljohnson Posts: 719 Member
    They once tried making Chuck Norris toilet paper, but had to abandon the project... because it wouldn't take *kitten* from anyone.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control
  • zave
    zave Posts: 238
    "I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    :laugh:

    When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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