uncondtional support here, not from my narcasistic family

lloydrt
lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
Just wanted to say, Im getting close to my goal weight in a few weeks. I wanted to thank my friends on this site who have shown uncondtional love and support.

I tried to share my accompishments this last week end with my family ( neices birthday and lots of family there) and after not seeing 2 brothers for almost one year ,the one said , "well when are you going to lose the rest so you can be the " normal" weight" ?
He barlely even congratulted me or mentioned the fact that I am now 121 lbs smaller than the last time I saw him. It was like walking on egg shells when I tried to tell him about this site and the support I got, it was like he was making feel weak for needing help in my weight loss jouorney...........

Then mentions the fact that I probably lost 10 or so years of the rest of my life already, because I have been "fat " for 5 years or so.....

Literally, I am not lying, he smokes unfiltered Camel cigarettes, has high prostate levels and hes condeming me for being fat for 5 years and that I "better hurry up and lose the rest or Im going to lose years of what little life I have left..........

I kid you not

Anyone who has some one they know who has NPD, (narcistic personaltity disorder) will kinda know what Im talking about.....They just cant or are unable to recognize you for your accomplishments of losing weight.......they only want to sabatoge you, or make you feel guilty about being overweight in the first place........
I dont have a medical degree to certify him, but I ve read tons about the illness and he is truly a narcisist.........


Family, dont you just love them.?

Thanks for all the support here, Im about 6 weeks( 14lbs more) from acheiving my goal and just wanted to recognize you all for your kindness and support..........Lloyd
«1

Replies

  • Tupelo64
    Tupelo64 Posts: 36 Member
    WOW what strength and determination you have had in spite of everything. I am relatively new to this site.. and my battle is no where near what yours have been.. but I just wanted to write a quick note.. of graditute for your attitute.

    Keep loving yourself.. because that is what you are doing.. you are unconditionally LOVING yourself.

    Blessings. and best of luck on the last 14!

    K
  • DuctTapedDancer
    DuctTapedDancer Posts: 2 Member
    Amazing work, congrats on your journey!
  • Fat2FitChick
    Fat2FitChick Posts: 451 Member
    My father is like this! I haven't told him about my weight loss or even that i am trying to lose the wight because I know what he'll say. I just can't put myself through it.
  • Nysie5
    Nysie5 Posts: 215 Member
    you are amazing, congrats on all your hard work.. know that u are loved
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    OMG It sounds like he is not a confident person in his own abilities, so he has to mock you. He is not strong enough to take on an AMAZING goal and accomplish it and feel inferior to your power, so he tries to knock you down. 121 LBs is a whole Nicole Ritchey and one of her babies, that a one heck of a stunning accomplishment and don't you dare let ANYONE tell you different. People that are failures, like to make others aroud them fail too. You're not a failure by far... Congrats. I doubt your doctor would agree with him.
  • Krissy_breann
    Krissy_breann Posts: 26
    You've done an AMAZING job so far! Don't let him get you down. I think you're doing great, keep it up!
  • davesqueen
    davesqueen Posts: 11
    I'm so sorry about your family! I don't even know you and I am motivated and inspired by your progress and the strength and determination you have to live a healthy life. May you continue to be successful on your journey and keep in mind...
    No-one can ruin your day unless you give them the power to.
    Congratulations again!
  • atomdraco
    atomdraco Posts: 1,083 Member
    You should be very proud of what you've accomplish even your family does not support you (which you've been doing). I agree about getting great support from the friends I have on this site. My hubby was making fun of me when I just started counting calories. I kept turn to this site to get the support that I needed, and now he saw my result (not just losing weight but got more fit and healthier), and no longer making fun of me. I hope one day I can inspire him to start working out too, like those people here who has inspired me. Keep up with the good work.
  • megpiemac12
    megpiemac12 Posts: 76
    Great job! wonderful inspiration!
  • dmoses
    dmoses Posts: 786 Member
    You've done a FANTASTIC job! Keep up the great work!
  • benitocereno
    benitocereno Posts: 101 Member
    Sounds like any weight your family managed to lose was from their brains. You've done an awesome job and look great.

    In a way I feel sorry for people like them who can't manage to be happy for others, imagine how miserable they must be in their own lives to have the need to project it onto others.

    And in the end, if they can't deal with it, I think you have another couple hundred pounds to lose :smile:

    Congrats again OP.
  • winneau
    winneau Posts: 139 Member
    Congratulations!!! I'm *SO* excited for you as you reach your goal :D

    Haters gonna hate! Just feel sorry for them. It takes a really insecure, sad little person to be so incapable of feeling joy for others. I know some people like that too... one "friend" actually said it that didn't "look" like I had lost the weight I've lost. Nice, right?
  • chrissym78
    chrissym78 Posts: 628 Member
    I've got some family like that too :/ This site is amazing and it has helped me soooo much! Keep on doin' your thing, you're in the home stretch!! Congrats on the loss, that's incredible!!!
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    I feel you brother. I grew up with a family full of 'em.
    And you know, just when you think they are going to acknowledge your achievements, they go and try to take credit for them.
  • Flyntiggr
    Flyntiggr Posts: 898 Member
    I have a similar family situation, so I understand. My sister and her husband are both overweight, yet when I go over there, I get the 'look' and then questions like, so how much longer are you going to pay your trainer? I've lost 17 pounds, almost 3% body fat and over 8 inches from my body since January, and they look at me like I'm throwing money away.

    I have learned over the years that I need not care what they think. Their goal in life is to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. No amount of tellng them that will change them, so I stopped caring what they think. This fact alone eats at them more than anything, and it worth it. I've had others compliment me on my weight loss, and that's what really matters to me.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    You are doing amazing!! I have found when I come across family members that rub me the wrong way like that, I just remind myself that they are here not by my choice. I didn't chose to have them in my family and I will only tolerate them when I have to.

    I would rather be aroud my friends they are chosen.

    Congrats on your success. Keep up the good work.
  • nickiben
    nickiben Posts: 117 Member
    People who tend to not be supportive arent usually the skinny healthy people. Theyre the people who are over weight, unhealthy, and they arent supportive because you're making them feel jealous of you. You are showing them up as they havent changed their unhealthy ways. People are jealous, just remember all the great things you have achieved!!!!! All of us on here are on the same journey -to be healthy and live longer. And if people cant accept that, then thats their problem!!

    Well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Seesaa
    Seesaa Posts: 451
    sounds rather familiar. though my family doesn't even talk about it.
    My mom knows what I am doing all to well and kind laughs when she sees me working out and brings in my trigger foods when ever she can. She's not a terrible person, but when it comes to supporting me she struggles.
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    Right…..cause the cigarettes he smokes isn’t taking years off of his life? I don’t understand people who always have to see the negative in others. He’s probably insecure about his life and is negative towards you to shift any attention from him to you. Don’t let someone like that bring you down. You’ve accomplished so much already!! You’re an inspiration to us all and I’m glad that you found support here. You shouldn’t let him make you feel weak for finding a place with people who helped you reach your goals.

    I never had any siblings, but I know the kind of people you’re talking about because they are in my family too. My mom has found more support from her friends and in-laws than her own blood. Good luck with the last several pounds.
  • mathgirl
    mathgirl Posts: 61 Member
    Keep on going strong, Lloyd, you have every right to be proud of your self and you are doing SO WELL!!
  • Jennyzfit
    Jennyzfit Posts: 175 Member
    I know how you feel. There are a few members in my family who are quick to critizise. Isn't it funny how an un-healthy person said that to you? They are probably mad at themself for not comitting to a lifestyle change and feel better when they ridicule you. Keep on doing what your doing because it's paying off. wow 121 lbs lost. That is great and I bet you feel great. That in itself is the reward.
    One day he'll see the light and ask you for advise. And I honestly don't think that you've lost your life span from unhealthy habits before. Look at what your doing! I think you've added years on to your life be being healthy and having a positive prespective. Good for you.
    Cheers and hope all goes well. Your doing really well already.
    :drinker:
  • patattheshire
    patattheshire Posts: 123 Member
    awesome job what determination you have great job
  • LindsayChick
    LindsayChick Posts: 129 Member
    Sometimes family can be the hardest people to deal with! I know mine are. Congratulations from all the awesome work!! Keep it up! =)
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
    great job for losing the weight! It sucks that people can't just encourage you to enjoy the rewards of all your hard work.

    like my mum always taught me "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
  • Coco_Puff
    Coco_Puff Posts: 823 Member
    You've done an amazing job. Don't let anyone take that away from you. You just have to know these people have problems that you don't. You never would have accomplished all that you have if you had any of that poisoned attitude in you. Just keep going and be the best you can be. We're here for you!!!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    LET YOUR HATERS BE YOUR MOTIVATORS!!!!

    Congrats on the huge weight loss! I am proud of you!!! :flowerforyou:
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Awesome job! Even if your family isn't proud of you WE all are!
  • mowrynation
    mowrynation Posts: 91
    Lloyd

    Congratulations on your journey so far! You are inspiring for sure!

    Sounds like you have a Great Head on your shoulders and it is sad that your family can't be happy for you, but We are !
    I am fairly new, but I know that by staying connected to this community, I will reach my goals too!

    All the Best!
    Gail
  • AHealthierRhonda
    AHealthierRhonda Posts: 881 Member
    Family can definitely be horrible! Congratulations to you! You have achieved quite an accomplishment!!! I am glad to hear people on MFP were there for you. I am new to the site but am loving it and the people I have found with the same goals as me! It definitely helps!!!!!!!
    Congratulations to you!!
  • darla499
    darla499 Posts: 402 Member
    Lloyd,

    You know I love you.

    I'm sorry that you had to go through that ... but I consider their loss our gain.

    You are one of the most consistent, determined and supportive people I know.

    You are a true inspiration and I wish you nothing but health and happiness.

    You're a hero!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories