Men! I need your help!
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:laugh: The fact that you are concerned about your daughters boyfriends texting style shows you need a hobby
:laugh: Quite possibly!0 -
I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.
I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.
totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.
And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.
Seriously? That's a pretty rude response.
Obviously you have too much time on your hands if you are worrying about this kid's texting style. Good luck with this - all you are going to do is end up alienating your daughter which will push her closer to her boyfriend. Kick her *kitten* out if it's that serious. The world has bigger problems then men using emoticons...you may have to google "emoticon" since that's not in your generation's vocabulary.
Youch-- she just called me old.
Low blow.
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SMILEYS WITH DUDES IS AN AUTOMATIC DEATH SENTENCE WHERE I'M FROM ! ! ! ! .....(thats why i moved)0
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He's 20, he's suppose to be immature. Girls mature a lot faster than guys. I have guy friends that are 27, and going to be 28 soon, and still have immature moments. So, he's a cashier? He has a job (which are hard to come by these days). He's young, and still figuring out his life. Does your husband have immature moments? I know my dad still does. Are you still trying to figure out your life? I think most people, no matter their age, will continue to do so. Cut him some slack, maybe do a family fun day or something (bowling, zoo, game night, etc.), have her invite him, and then you can get to know more about him... except without making it obvious that you're playing "20 questions".0
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I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.
I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.
totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.
And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.
Wow!! My apologies to alecta. You had great advice and insight. Unfortunately, Marla is not looking for advice and insight; she is looking for someone to agree with her opinion of her daughter's boyfriend and, possibly, someone that might enjoy slamming him with her.
RoadDog-- yes, I was rude. Alecta, my apologies for my rudeness.
However, I'm not interested in the insight of a 20yo girl. I live with one.
I'm truly trying to gauge if I'm off-base. I asked my son. He thinks it's weird, and doesn't text smilies.
Is it indicative of the boy's character? Probably not. Is indicative of the boy's maturity? Possibly.
this is simply a fact-finding mission from a MAN'S perspective.
I'm a grown man. It's not a big deal. The end.
I'm also a grown man, and none of my friends and I send smiley faces to each other. Then again, I hang with a bunch of Neanderthals who are firefighters, contractors, carpenters and electricians (and a teacher, but he owns 3 guns so he's cool)
Just kidding on the teacher thing.0 -
I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.
I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.
Pretty good advice.
I have three daughters. I've always been supportive in their choices. Haven't always approved, but always been there for them. If you try to manage their lives, they will be less likely to confide in you, and the less likely they are to confide in you, the more likely they are to turn to someone else for help when they need it.
Texting. I think it's ridiculous, but it is what it is and everyone in her generation is doing it. How is it that you are reading his text messages?
It's not his text messages, it's his facebook shtick-- like said before, I need a hobby. This doofus has me obsessed, and I check out his stuff wayyy too often.0 -
I am really not trying to pick at you on this but if you consider your 19 year old daughter a child still (which is totally fair), then isn't it safe to consider him a child as well? He is only a year older. I have never met a mature 20 year old boy. I'm not trying to argue against you but to get you to see that in the grand sceme of things, you are worried about something that seems pretty unimportant. At her age, I doubt that she is seeing him as the man of her dreams that she is going to marry someday and if she does are you going to object on the basis that he is sweet to her and loves to be in contect with her?? I'm wondering where you would expect him to be in his life at 20.
PS-My very manly boyfriend (age 30) uses smilies when he IM's and texts. I can guarantee he isn't the ignorant slang word several people have used here.0 -
I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.
I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.
totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.
And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.
Wow!! My apologies to alecta. You had great advice and insight. Unfortunately, Marla is not looking for advice and insight; she is looking for someone to agree with her opinion of her daughter's boyfriend and, possibly, someone that might enjoy slamming him with her.
RoadDog-- yes, I was rude. Alecta, my apologies for my rudeness.
However, I'm not interested in the insight of a 20yo girl. I live with one.
I'm truly trying to gauge if I'm off-base. I asked my son. He thinks it's weird, and doesn't text smilies.
Is it indicative of the boy's character? Probably not. Is indicative of the boy's maturity? Possibly.
this is simply a fact-finding mission from a MAN'S perspective.
I'm a grown man. It's not a big deal. The end.
I'm also a grown man, and none of my friends and I send smiley faces to each other. Then again, I hang with a bunch of Neanderthals who are firefighters, contractors, carpenters and electricians (and a teacher, but he owns 3 guns so he's cool)
Just kidding on the teacher thing.
Would you happen to know any 20yo Neanderthals you can send my daughter's way??0 -
Well I guess it depends on what his ambitions are then. Does he want to start a career or will he be completely happy ringing up items for the rest of his life. Won't know until you talk to him and find out. Even if he does want to stay a cashier for the rest of his life I don't see a reason to hate him. You might not think he is good enough but maybe he provides a lot of emotional support and happiness for your daughter.0
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I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.
I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.
totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.
And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.
Wow!! My apologies to alecta. You had great advice and insight. Unfortunately, Marla is not looking for advice and insight; she is looking for someone to agree with her opinion of her daughter's boyfriend and, possibly, someone that might enjoy slamming him with her.
RoadDog-- yes, I was rude. Alecta, my apologies for my rudeness.
However, I'm not interested in the insight of a 20yo girl. I live with one.
I'm truly trying to gauge if I'm off-base. I asked my son. He thinks it's weird, and doesn't text smilies.
Is it indicative of the boy's character? Probably not. Is indicative of the boy's maturity? Possibly.
this is simply a fact-finding mission from a MAN'S perspective.
Instead of asking other men, why not just ask him? In a non rude or judgemental way.0 -
All right gentlemen--
So, I have this 19 year old daughter, dating a 20 year old guy whom my husband and I detest. He is more like a third grade girl. Stays up all night skyping and texting my child. Sends her cute love notes in code on her facebook page, and uses smileys in replies to his male buddies.
So I ask you, gentleman...... Do dudes use smilies with other dudes?
Please, please, please-- your opinions, please?
Do I use smilies with other dudes? Yea - sometimes if I'm trying to convey what I'm saying in a lighthearted mood. But I also go by Mikey sometimes and I use pictures of cute puppies as forum avatars so I must be gay. Don't tell my wife though - it's a secret.
The fact is that technology has changed in the many years since you were in the dating world. Cell phones, computers, internet, Facebook - they all give you access 24 hours a day into other peoples lives. For better or for worse that's the way the younger generations like it. If she is making your cell phone bill go through the roof or keeping you up at night then tell her to stop or get out. If this guy is a drug addict or abusive or just a jerk then tell her your opinion and that you disapprove. But if he is just a nice guy that wants to get to know everything about your daughter then give him a chance.
Kinda what she says--
Yes, the technology is there, and yes it's 24/7. But, doesn't this kid have productive things to do? No cats to rescue from trees? No old ladies to help across streets? He and my daughter fell asleep face to face on Skype-- really? You have nothing better to do? Neither of you?
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I'm not a guy, but what are specific reasons (besides he keeps her up at night) you and your husband don't like him? From what you say he seems (so far) like a nice guy. I agree that he should not be keeping her up all night, but does she have something to do the next day? Does she tell him she doesn't want to talk all night, etc.? Also, how long have they been dating/talking. If it's still early on, they'll probably talk all the time then it'll phase out. Without knowing the entire situation or about the guy as a person it's hard to make any suggestion or comment about the smiley faces. Guys I know don't normally use smiley faces, etc. with each other, but let's not add him to the stereotype. He may be different. I'd say you should suggest your concerns to your daughter, and see what she has to say about the situation. Otherwise, let it play out.
She's a professional golfer. He's a cashier.
My beef is his immaturity.
Oh... nice.... so it is a class thing for you? Perfect. I feel sorry for your daughter with an elitist for a mother. Wow.
My sentiments exactly.0 -
wow u are just one rude lady..
U need to grow up and stop worrying about some stupid smiles on her texts. Seems u have too much time on your hands to be checking out your kids texts.
A lot of the kids/young adults these days send texts, FB and dress way stranger than the past when we were growing up.
So does he wear skinny jeans, you going to judge him as a homo for that..
FYI- its whats in style..
Seems NO ONE HERE THINGS THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE SMILES..
just U
Actually, as a general rule, no, I'm not a rude lady. I was today, and apologized.
would I hate the skinny jeans? Yes. Don't care what's in style. So is eyebrow and tongue piercing. I'd have a cow if he did that, too.0 -
All right gentlemen--
So, I have this 19 year old daughter, dating a 20 year old guy whom my husband and I detest. He is more like a third grade girl. Stays up all night skyping and texting my child. Sends her cute love notes in code on her facebook page, and uses smileys in replies to his male buddies.
So I ask you, gentleman...... Do dudes use smilies with other dudes?
Please, please, please-- your opinions, please?
Do I use smilies with other dudes? Yea - sometimes if I'm trying to convey what I'm saying in a lighthearted mood. But I also go by Mikey sometimes and I use pictures of cute puppies as forum avatars so I must be gay. Don't tell my wife though - it's a secret.
The fact is that technology has changed in the many years since you were in the dating world. Cell phones, computers, internet, Facebook - they all give you access 24 hours a day into other peoples lives. For better or for worse that's the way the younger generations like it. If she is making your cell phone bill go through the roof or keeping you up at night then tell her to stop or get out. If this guy is a drug addict or abusive or just a jerk then tell her your opinion and that you disapprove. But if he is just a nice guy that wants to get to know everything about your daughter then give him a chance.
Kinda what she says--
Yes, the technology is there, and yes it's 24/7. But, doesn't this kid have productive things to do? No cats to rescue from trees? No old ladies to help across streets? He and my daughter fell asleep face to face on Skype-- really? You have nothing better to do? Neither of you?
Come on now, if you were 20 that would be the sweeteset thing to you. Total chick flick movie move! ...except on the movies they always fell asleep on the phone, there was no skype.0 -
I'm not a guy, but what are specific reasons (besides he keeps her up at night) you and your husband don't like him? From what you say he seems (so far) like a nice guy. I agree that he should not be keeping her up all night, but does she have something to do the next day? Does she tell him she doesn't want to talk all night, etc.? Also, how long have they been dating/talking. If it's still early on, they'll probably talk all the time then it'll phase out. Without knowing the entire situation or about the guy as a person it's hard to make any suggestion or comment about the smiley faces. Guys I know don't normally use smiley faces, etc. with each other, but let's not add him to the stereotype. He may be different. I'd say you should suggest your concerns to your daughter, and see what she has to say about the situation. Otherwise, let it play out.
She's a professional golfer. He's a cashier.
My beef is his immaturity.
Oh... nice.... so it is a class thing for you? Perfect. I feel sorry for your daughter with an elitist for a mother. Wow.
No, it's an ambition thing.
Elitist? Ha-- me? if you knew who you were talking to--0 -
I am really not trying to pick at you on this but if you consider your 19 year old daughter a child still (which is totally fair), then isn't it safe to consider him a child as well? He is only a year older. I have never met a mature 20 year old boy. I'm not trying to argue against you but to get you to see that in the grand sceme of things, you are worried about something that seems pretty unimportant. At her age, I doubt that she is seeing him as the man of her dreams that she is going to marry someday and if she does are you going to object on the basis that he is sweet to her and loves to be in contect with her?? I'm wondering where you would expect him to be in his life at 20.
PS-My very manly boyfriend (age 30) uses smilies when he IM's and texts. I can guarantee he isn't the ignorant slang word several people have used here.
These are pretty good points. I've known very few men OR women who really had their *kitten* together at 19 or 20 (I'm still working on it at 37). Maybe he's NOT ambitious... or maybe he is. But chances are this isn't the "one". I dated a lot of idiots in my younger years. And most of the time I was well aware that they weren't long term prospects - I was just having fun.0 -
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This thread is lame. If you REALLY want something to worry about, turn on the news and look at Japan. It'll put things in perspective a little, so you can stop worrying about smiley faces.0
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You guys (and ladies) have been very helpful, much appreciated.0
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This thread is lame. If you REALLY want something to worry about, turn on the news and look at Japan. It'll put things in perspective a little, so you can stop worrying about smiley faces.
So lame that this is, what, your third post? Fourth?
Perhaps we all need to follow our own advice?
Thanks again one and all!!0
This discussion has been closed.
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