i reaallllyy need some advice !! :(
bayabaya
Posts: 52
so ever since i started eating healthy and reducing my calorie intake to lose a few pounds.. my boyfriend hates that i wont go to fast food restraunts with him anymore and hes starting to think i have some kind of eating disorder.. which is not the case at all! I'm just not being a piggg like i used to be! Anyways.. He has been okay about it lately and not bugging me too much. but tonight (friday night) he wants to bring home a pizza from pizza hut and he wants me to eat not 1.. but 2 SLICES. I looked up the calories on the Pizza hut website and 1 slice of cheese pizza from a large size pizza is 360 cals. so two would be 720 calories!! I don't lknow that to doo:( i dont want him to think im one of those crazy girls who has to count every single thing she eats... I know if I dont eat them he is going to be dissapointed in me....... And just so you know it has to be a large cheese pizza. He wont get a veggie or anything. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and i used to pig out with him every weekend and eat whatever i wanted.. so i think thats why he is so upset by this. What should i do?? eat 720 calories in 2 slices of pizza that prob wont even fill me??
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Replies
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Honestly... if he's going to like guilt trip you into eating pizza, you should ask him to compromise and at least get a "health" version..0
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Stick to your guns. Maybe suggest you go out to eat somewhere where you have healthier choices? He needs to support you and you shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to improve your health. You should focus on time spent together, not food eaten together. Just advice from someone who has been married a long time
Good luck 0 -
Either tell him to F off, and you can eat what you want when you want. Or go to the gym and give yourself the extra calories to indulge in the pizza. Remember this is your life, not his, and you are doing this for you, not him.
Like another response said you can get better options. Pizza hut is one of the worst as it is pan pizza with a ton of oil in the pan to keep it from sticking. Order from somewhere else, maybe a veggie pizza, and make sure it is not pan pizza. Many places place the pizza in the oven, not in a pan full of oil then in the oven.0 -
I'd eat one slice and fix yourself a giant garden salad as well. Eat the salad first so you're kinda full, and then enjoy that slice. Pretend like you're "too full" for another slice, or start one and make him finish it. He can't force you to eat if you're already full!
Also, you could enjoy the 2 slices if you've been really good lately. One day of thoughtless dinner won't kill ya, and your guy will appreciate that you're still a normal person. Lol. 0 -
He should respect that your trying to eat healthy. NOBODY has the right to tell you what to eat or how much unless your a child. On the other hand I don't know if you are an underweight person who is not happy with them selves and this is his misguided way to help. More info on your weight or BMI will get you better answers.0
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Wow!!!!!!! He can't make you eat 2 slices of pizza, I would eat one and maybe a side salad!!!!!!!!!! Maybe you should tell him again that you are trying to eat healthy and you need his support. Good Luck0
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It's your body! It's up to you what you eat not him!0
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I encounter this problem sometimes, too. My boyfriend is supportive but sometimes he thinks I'm a little obsessive. My advice would be to eat what YOU want to eat (1 to 1 and a half slices, maybe?) and make sure you dab the top of it with a paper towel or napkin to absorb all the grease! Tell your boyfriend that you don't have an eating disorder - you're just trying to be healthy. Oh, and is it possible to perhaps get a side salad?
Perhaps a happy medium for next time would be thincrust pizza? Much healthier 0 -
I def wouldn't eat the pizza .. thats me personally. if you been together that long, you need to explain to him, that you still want to eat, nad its not a disorder. your just choosing foods that are better for your body.. if he loves you he will understand.. he can eat his pizza while you eat something more healthy!0
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I think this is about him being insecure. You have to do what is best for you. If you decide the pizza isn't worth the calories don't eat it. It can be hard when 1 person in a relationship is making such a big change. The other person can feel left behind. Assure him that you love him and are doing this to improve your health so you can be a happier more energetic person. He should be supportive of the changes you are making. Hopefully he will come around and realize it isn't about him and maybe when he sees how great you look and feel he will follow in your footsteps.0
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it's not his mouth, nor his stomach, nor his taste buds, nor his body in general. eat as you will- he can deal. this is about you. don't let him make it about him.0
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i think it is time you have a heart to heart with him. your profile says you're only trying to lose 10 pounds, so it doesn't appear you're overweight & he might just be being protective of you, either way he needs to get over it & try to support you more. i've been with my bf 3 1/2 years as well & he has been super supportive even though i don't have much to lose either (more like 30 total). we used to eat fast food 1-2x a day because of college & not living together & now he lets me pick the restaurants & tries to be patient (though i know it annoys him) while i use MFP on my iphone to look up whatever i want to order first & he is happy when i lose weight & tell him. there are days we eat crap though & i plan accordingly the best i can. that usually means an extra workout or eating significantly less at another meal. guys don't always understand what we are trying to do or the best way to go about it. you'll survive the 2 pieces of pizza even if it is pan pizza
) but maybe you can talk him into the thin crust! 0 -
Life is all about give and take that is for sure. He should support you in your desire to lose weight and be healthy, he should be willing to compromise as well. Sometimes you still need to have a splurge. So tell him you will splurge with him tonight, but he has to be willing to make some positive changes also going forward in support of you as well. Maybe you can meet a happy medium with him and agree that one day a week you will "splurge" with him but the rest of the week he must support what you are trying to accomplish. Just a thought.0
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Sounds like he is bringing you down. Just remember though - you can have that pizza if you work on for it and plan for it. A lot of people here have a 'cheat meal' ONCE a week. I don't worry as much about the DAILY calorie goal though, I focus more on the WEEKLY goal (daily goal x 7) But you also need someone to support you as your partner in life.... hopefully he will realize what you are trying to do and what he is doing to you...0
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Dump him. Just joking.
I have similar problems not with my boyfriend but with my family. My parents are huge enablers and not standing up for myself is part of the reason I maxed out at nearly 300 lbs. I have had to learn to eat around them in a way that makes me feel comfortable. I have had to learn to say "NO, I'm not going to eat that" and while they are shocked/upset at first, they get over it quickly. The act of eating is temporary. The enjoyment from food is temporary. Having a healthy mind, body and spirit lasts all day, everyday. You have to talk to your boyfriend and set boundaries when it comes to food. Help him to understand that you aren't trying to be anorexic or obsessed with what you eat but that you have to have control until you can trust yourself with those "bad" foods. Let him know what your goals are and let him know that you need his support. What I have learned is that there are no "bad" foods - there are foods that make my body feel great and foods that make my body tired, sluggish, etc. I still eat pizza and other things but do so in moderation. Moderation is key and what that boils down to is trusting yourself. Two slices of pizza in a week isn't going to make you gain weight. But it's definitely not worth it if you are going to feel miserable and guilty over it after it's been consumed. Hang in there. Talk to him and stay true to yourself and your goals above anything else.0 -
That would be a big FAT HELL NO for me.I to have a fiance that is not into the eating healthy thing or exercise and thinks I am obsessed with my fitness,but i tell him that this is my body and he's not the one has has to deal with the guilt after you have something you shouldnt.He dosent always understand but after a few no's i will make something for myself you go ahead and have what you want ,he got the picture and its much easier now0
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You should definitely quit dieting and pig out with him. Losing him and making good eating decisions would be so much worse than eating unhealthily and keeping him happy, especially since he is so supportive in the things that are important to you. He sounds like a winner and you should stop making mature, responsible decisions about your eating habits so that you don't make him mad.0
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well your doin this for yourself not him :-)0
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I know that spouses NOT on a diet see us as boring and unsociable, however, I am a bit perterbed by your bf demanding you eat TWO slices!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, WTF!!! Does he usually tell you what and how much you should eat??
Fair enough the he misses his eat buddy, but I dont get that bit!!
If it were me, I'd have a cheat day once a week and enjoy myself. But it would be MY decision and not because I was threatened by my b/f. Threatening me and making those demands would make me feel like he has other issues to do with control and feeding!!
You need to talk to him hun. Tell him you are trying to lose weight and need his support. Tell him you dont mind if he eats, and you can still have your dinner together, but you can choose whatever you want to eat for yourself, thank you very much!!!
You do whatever you fancy. And dont be dictated to! Losing weight is a personal battle, and I wouldnt let anyone emotionally bribe me. If he wants to eat, let him eat. I dont see what his problem is!! But after 3half years you know him better than me!!
Good luck sweety :flowerforyou:0 -
I had the same problem with my husband when I first started eating right and exercising. I simply put it this way, If you want me to eat ________, then you will eat 6 cups of lettuce with sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, pickles, fat-free dressing and grilled chicken. You have to eat every single bite and not complain once. If you complain you have to eat a second serving. I will sit here and eat this ________ without complaining to make you happy but my body will complain about it later and I will have to work harder to get rid of the calories that you made me consume. It worked. I also told him that if I ate _______ my sex drive would decrease and he wouldnt get any. If I eat healty my sex drive will increase and he will get some. Which way does he want it?
You could also try what my sister did. She said "My body is my temple. Healthy food in = happy person. Bad food in = crabby person. You want me crabby or happy?"
I hope this helps. Good luck.0 -
Eat what YOU want, do what makes YOU happy and find someone who will support you!!!0
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Just my two cents:
Sounds like you've suddenly and drastically changed your eating habits. What you might see as reasonable, he might see as worrying behaviour. Maybe take a step back and see if you can see it from his point of view - are there any worrying aspects to your behaviour? Are you being honest on your food diary/exercise log? Are you deliberately undercutting your calorie allowances for the day to lose weight more quickly? Sounds like this is a relatively new journey for you - have you consulted with your doctor and communicated to your boyfriend and family about losing the weight in a healthy way? I'm sure all of the answers are yes, but we need to do a quick check and make sure that he's worrying for the wrong reasons. Maybe ask him why he's worrying so much - some partners start to feel insecure when their other half starts to drop the weight ("Now that she's getting skinnier, she will choose some other guy over me"), some don't understand the healthier lifestyle choice suddenly (see communicated to boyfriend above )
I think this is a really resolvable issue......eat a slice or two of the pizza (and enjoy it) with a large garden salad on the side - light on the dressing. Go for a walk beforehand and burn off some calories that you wouldn't have otherwise. Drink lots of water since pizza is crazy high in sodium. Do this for the rest of the week and by the time you weigh in....you won't even notice that you had the pizza. But then you also have to sit down with him and agree to a "splurge" schedule - most people do it once a week. If he continues to try and bully you into bad food choices most of the time, that will be a problem, but I think that if he's reasonable and just worried about your health and an eating disorder, this should help calm the waters.
Good luck!!! (And enjoy your splurge!!!)0 -
ok! first of all expain your getting healthier and looking hotter for him!
second of all, it doesnt hurt to spoil yourself for your hard work. im not saying pork on down but,
is one slice going to kill ya! take a walk with him after! get him involved is a big thing!
no, you dont have to eat it! and if he dont like that ..to bad.
i would do this.
eat one piece and get grease off it with paper towl.
eat side salad too or something.
explain to him y you are doing this.
go for walk and get him involved! he probably misses the togetherness
it brought to him when you guys would go out to eat!
you can compromise and he can too!0 -
Eat the whole pizza to p*ss him off then he wont bring you take out anymore for fear of going hungry.0
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He should respect that your trying to eat healthy. NOBODY has the right to tell you what to eat or how much unless your a child. On the other hand I don't know if you are an underweight person who is not happy with them selves and this is his misguided way to help. More info on your weight or BMI will get you better answers.
Ahhh...very true. I just assumed that our poster was trying to lose weight due to being overweight. Hopefully my assumption was right. I don't want to be giving bad advice to someone with an eating disorder
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It`s your body.I`d say do what you want.If you really want the pizza,then workout like crazy.I think he should be supportive of what you are doing,but this is about you,not him.I would do a salad and 1 piece if it meant so much.Do what you wan to do.You`ve worked so hard for what you`ve done so far.Is the pizza worth it?just a few things I`d think about.
Good luck!!
jane0 -
I would agree with KatWood. I don't think that eating the pizza is the real problem here. It sounds to me like he is unhappy with your decision to try to lose weight, and that can really sabotage your efforts at achieving your goals. If you are both normal weights, it may not be the case, but if you are both overweight or obese, he may be feeling insecure or upset that you are taking steps to better yourself and he doesn't have the motivation to do so on his part. You need to either get him on board with eating healthier, or at the very least make him understand that he needs to be supportive in helping you reach your goals. I know that when my wife and I began to lose weight at different times, we struggled because the other would want to eat unhealthy, and it took a joint effort to support each other and eat healthy. The bottom line is that losing weight is all about lifestyle changes, and that includes changes to behaviors regarding the relationships you have in your life. You'll need to work on this with him to make sure he understands that. If you're not ready to do this tonight, though, I'd say order the pizza--just get a thin crust to cut back on carbs, only eat half the cheese or less, and blot up any excess oil. You can knock that 700 calories down to 400-500 and then it's not so bad. Good luck!0
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My family actually said I need to eat more, because they didn't think i was being healthy. Since he is your boyfriend and not husband, lay it out for him that "we" are going to eat more healthy and maybe once or twice a month you'll have a meal that is excessive. If he can't understand that, then you don't want to spend the rest of your life with him.
Since my recent weight loss (the 2nd time in my life that I lost) I'm a born again fit person and absolutely will not tolerate my family criticizing me for living healthy. I indulge every once in a while. I'm having pizza tonight (probably only once piece) and I've told my family that is the way it will be, and if they don't like it they can eat without me.
He is being selfish and you shouldn't tolerate it.0 -
Eat the whole pizza to p*ss him off then he wont bring you take out anymore for fear of going hungry.
smirk...0 -
You've gotten a lot of great advice! My advice is this... give yourself one cheat meal a week - this would give you a break from counting and gives him some pleasure in sharing junk food with you! I agree with others that he should support you though - what your'e doing is great and is for you - no one can deny you that! He should probably be doing this with you if he eats that much fast food Ultimately do what feels right for you and don't let him or anyone else deter you! You're doing great - good luck and let us know what you decide to do! 0
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