i reaallllyy need some advice !! :(

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24

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  • aimgirl
    aimgirl Posts: 50 Member
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    Eat what YOU want, do what makes YOU happy and find someone who will support you!!!
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    Just my two cents:

    Sounds like you've suddenly and drastically changed your eating habits. What you might see as reasonable, he might see as worrying behaviour. Maybe take a step back and see if you can see it from his point of view - are there any worrying aspects to your behaviour? Are you being honest on your food diary/exercise log? Are you deliberately undercutting your calorie allowances for the day to lose weight more quickly? Sounds like this is a relatively new journey for you - have you consulted with your doctor and communicated to your boyfriend and family about losing the weight in a healthy way? I'm sure all of the answers are yes, but we need to do a quick check and make sure that he's worrying for the wrong reasons. Maybe ask him why he's worrying so much - some partners start to feel insecure when their other half starts to drop the weight ("Now that she's getting skinnier, she will choose some other guy over me"), some don't understand the healthier lifestyle choice suddenly (see communicated to boyfriend above :smile: )

    I think this is a really resolvable issue......eat a slice or two of the pizza (and enjoy it) with a large garden salad on the side - light on the dressing. Go for a walk beforehand and burn off some calories that you wouldn't have otherwise. Drink lots of water since pizza is crazy high in sodium. Do this for the rest of the week and by the time you weigh in....you won't even notice that you had the pizza. But then you also have to sit down with him and agree to a "splurge" schedule - most people do it once a week. If he continues to try and bully you into bad food choices most of the time, that will be a problem, but I think that if he's reasonable and just worried about your health and an eating disorder, this should help calm the waters.

    Good luck!!! (And enjoy your splurge!!!)
  • kaotik
    kaotik Posts: 5
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    ok! first of all expain your getting healthier and looking hotter for him!
    second of all, it doesnt hurt to spoil yourself for your hard work. im not saying pork on down but,
    is one slice going to kill ya! take a walk with him after! get him involved is a big thing!
    no, you dont have to eat it! and if he dont like that ..to bad.
    i would do this.
    eat one piece and get grease off it with paper towl.
    eat side salad too or something.
    explain to him y you are doing this.
    go for walk and get him involved! he probably misses the togetherness
    it brought to him when you guys would go out to eat!
    you can compromise and he can too!
  • marmite230
    marmite230 Posts: 32
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    Eat the whole pizza to p*ss him off then he wont bring you take out anymore for fear of going hungry.
  • LBATL
    LBATL Posts: 76 Member
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    He should respect that your trying to eat healthy. NOBODY has the right to tell you what to eat or how much unless your a child. On the other hand I don't know if you are an underweight person who is not happy with them selves and this is his misguided way to help. More info on your weight or BMI will get you better answers.

    Ahhh...very true. I just assumed that our poster was trying to lose weight due to being overweight. Hopefully my assumption was right. I don't want to be giving bad advice to someone with an eating disorder :(
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
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    It`s your body.I`d say do what you want.If you really want the pizza,then workout like crazy.I think he should be supportive of what you are doing,but this is about you,not him.I would do a salad and 1 piece if it meant so much.Do what you wan to do.You`ve worked so hard for what you`ve done so far.Is the pizza worth it?just a few things I`d think about.
    Good luck!!
    jane
  • Rastrohman
    Rastrohman Posts: 4 Member
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    I would agree with KatWood. I don't think that eating the pizza is the real problem here. It sounds to me like he is unhappy with your decision to try to lose weight, and that can really sabotage your efforts at achieving your goals. If you are both normal weights, it may not be the case, but if you are both overweight or obese, he may be feeling insecure or upset that you are taking steps to better yourself and he doesn't have the motivation to do so on his part. You need to either get him on board with eating healthier, or at the very least make him understand that he needs to be supportive in helping you reach your goals. I know that when my wife and I began to lose weight at different times, we struggled because the other would want to eat unhealthy, and it took a joint effort to support each other and eat healthy. The bottom line is that losing weight is all about lifestyle changes, and that includes changes to behaviors regarding the relationships you have in your life. You'll need to work on this with him to make sure he understands that. If you're not ready to do this tonight, though, I'd say order the pizza--just get a thin crust to cut back on carbs, only eat half the cheese or less, and blot up any excess oil. You can knock that 700 calories down to 400-500 and then it's not so bad. Good luck!
  • Adsnwfld
    Adsnwfld Posts: 262 Member
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    My family actually said I need to eat more, because they didn't think i was being healthy. Since he is your boyfriend and not husband, lay it out for him that "we" are going to eat more healthy and maybe once or twice a month you'll have a meal that is excessive. If he can't understand that, then you don't want to spend the rest of your life with him.
    Since my recent weight loss (the 2nd time in my life that I lost) I'm a born again fit person and absolutely will not tolerate my family criticizing me for living healthy. I indulge every once in a while. I'm having pizza tonight (probably only once piece) and I've told my family that is the way it will be, and if they don't like it they can eat without me.
    He is being selfish and you shouldn't tolerate it.
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    Eat the whole pizza to p*ss him off then he wont bring you take out anymore for fear of going hungry.

    smirk...
  • mitts1970
    mitts1970 Posts: 56
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    You've gotten a lot of great advice! My advice is this... give yourself one cheat meal a week - this would give you a break from counting and gives him some pleasure in sharing junk food with you! I agree with others that he should support you though - what your'e doing is great and is for you - no one can deny you that! He should probably be doing this with you if he eats that much fast food :) Ultimately do what feels right for you and don't let him or anyone else deter you! You're doing great - good luck and let us know what you decide to do!
  • MistyMtnMan
    MistyMtnMan Posts: 527 Member
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    This post has made me FURIOUS!! NO ONE should be FORCING you to do something you don't want to do, especially if it's unhealthy!!! If he really loves you, he will RESPECT you and your decision to eat right. There are no words how messed up I think this is. Why don't you make him drink a shot of motor oil every Friday and see if he likes it.

    I know that's an extreme analogy BUT in reality, eating terrible food like that over time is no different. You will have heart problems, high blood pressure, possible become diabetic, or a LIST of other side effects of the crap food you are trying to rid yourself of.

    I know I'm freakin out here a bit but you have every RIGHT to make better choices for yourself and not eat ANY bad food if you don't want to. He should be secure enough and mature enough to handle it. If he wants to eat that way, fine but DO NOT let him drag you down.

    Your partner should be someone who builds you up with positivity, not negativity.
  • KGRAN002
    KGRAN002 Posts: 5
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    honey, if hes getting his undies in a wad because you dont want to eat pizza, there are much deeeeeper issues than the pizza. I am much more aware of everything that goes in my mouth now too. if you are not obsessing about the weight issue you just need to have a talk with him, and NOT about pizza. i have always been a pretty free spirit, i would not ever be able to be under a mans watchful eye like that. Be careful that hes not trying to control other things in your life too. its pizza for heavens sake. besides i have a saying about food."pizza doesnt look good in a bathing suit!" lol i use it for all the bad foods i want but wont eat "cause none of it looks good in a bathing suit" good luck and i commend you for your getting healthy efforts
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    What everyone else has said, really. No one has a right to tell you what to eat. No one. People have a problem with others eating healthily because it makes them feel like a failure about their own food choices, and that they don't have the willpower to change.

    I wouldn't eat even one slice of a Pizza Hut pizza.
  • mare91467
    mare91467 Posts: 91 Member
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    That was a fantastic answer. I couldn't have said it better myself......
  • flash53
    flash53 Posts: 46 Member
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    Don't let him sabatoge your goals. He is an enabler He should respect what you are doing in trying to get healthy. We should not live to eat. My wife does the same thing by bringing sweets in the house and she knows I don't want them in here because I will eat them. There is nothing wrong with having a slice of pizza and maybe a salad. that is what most healthy people do. Chances are he might need to eat a little healthy and ask him to watch with you. Just say you are worried about him and I would like you to be healthy also. Dont talk to him in a way that it sounds like he has to or in a mother tone because he might resent you and not follow threw with it. You can make a pizza at home with a wheat crust, 2% cheese, low carb pizza sauce and a ton of veggies. for a healthy version so both of you can be happy. Good luck!!!
  • noexcuses1218
    noexcuses1218 Posts: 332 Member
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    Compared to your boyfriend, you're being pretty rational about this, as far as I can see. And although you say you don't want to be one of those people who counts every calorie that passes through her mouth, you really are going to have to be one of those people until you get a handle on your portion sizes and the nutritional breakdown of your food. Consider it a class in nutrition, a learning process, and I'm sure that sooner or later you won't have to log everything you eat because you'll be at your maintenance point and you'll already know very well what you can and can't do.

    Having said that, I agree with others who have said to go ahead and splurge once in a while - if you want. It doesn't mean you have to completely wreck your entire day - there are plenty of ways to indulge yourself without self-sabotaging, such as:

    If you really want pizza, tell him to compromise and get you the thin crust pizza, then have tons of veggies on one side of it. Have one slice early in the evening, then save another slice for a later snack. The thin crust pizza's not nearly as bad as the pan pizza.

    Also, if you're interested in splurging just to alleviate his fears, consider what you REALLY want to eat. For myself, I'm going to indulge myself a little because I want to and not to make my husband feel better about himself. Might have a gyro sandwich this weekend, but I'm sure I won't be able to eat the whole thing anyway, and I'll skip the fries. Fried shrimp? Well, sure, as long as I have a box ready to get the rest of the order off my plate the second I'm not hungry anymore and stick to half a baked potato. Pizza's pretty mundane for a splurge, all things considered. And of course, if you're not hungry for anything special, don't bother with it. Or make something delicious and healthy and just a little decadent - salmon with low-fat bearnaise sauce, crab cakes, etc.

    But please don't eat things that are going to sidetrack you on your journey. What I hear is that the last ten pounds are the hardest, and I would hope that he would understand what you're trying to do. Can you give him numbers, like BMI, target weight, etc. that might bolster your position?

    Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.
  • HDurow1018
    HDurow1018 Posts: 37 Member
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    Either tell him to F off, and you can eat what you want when you want. Or go to the gym and give yourself the extra calories to indulge in the pizza. Remember this is your life, not his, and you are doing this for you, not him.

    Like another response said you can get better options. Pizza hut is one of the worst as it is pan pizza with a ton of oil in the pan to keep it from sticking. Order from somewhere else, maybe a veggie pizza, and make sure it is not pan pizza. Many places place the pizza in the oven, not in a pan full of oil then in the oven.


    I'm not sure if they have them where you are, but from looking around online when I crave pizza, Hungry Howies seems to be the lowest in calories. Other than that, like he said, stand your ground or include an extra workout to get rid of the extra calories. It makes it really hard to keep focused when someone you love isn't supporting you :( I'm sorry that he is doing this to you, but you have to remember that you are eating better for you and how you feel, not him. Have you sat down with him and talked to him about how you feel and that you are not starving yourself and trying to do things right?
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
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    I had the same problem with my husband when I first started eating right and exercising. I simply put it this way, If you want me to eat ________, then you will eat 6 cups of lettuce with sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, pickles, fat-free dressing and grilled chicken. You have to eat every single bite and not complain once. If you complain you have to eat a second serving. I will sit here and eat this ________ without complaining to make you happy but my body will complain about it later and I will have to work harder to get rid of the calories that you made me consume. It worked. I also told him that if I ate _______ my sex drive would decrease and he wouldnt get any. If I eat healty my sex drive will increase and he will get some. Which way does he want it?

    You could also try what my sister did. She said "My body is my temple. Healthy food in = happy person. Bad food in = crabby person. You want me crabby or happy?"

    I hope this helps. Good luck.


    I like this idea. If he gets to tell you what to eat, you get to tell him what to eat, too. Fair's fair. If he is a decent, reasonable human being down deep this ought to make him see how ridiculous he's being.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Pizza Express do a 500 cals pizza. Do you have one of those anywhere near you?
  • ♥♥YoungMrs♥♥
    ♥♥YoungMrs♥♥ Posts: 178
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    Yea Id definitely tell my husband to **** Off..I dont know how people can be so insensitive?? I would never try to make someone I love eat garbage foods when I know that they are trying to lose weight..ughhh :explode:

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