Embarassed to share weight loss / starting weight in real li

labgirl3
labgirl3 Posts: 171 Member
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
I've lost 55 lbs now, and I'm very proud of that. I've worked hard and every time I look in the mirror, I'm pleasantly surprised. BUT, when my friends ask me how much I've lost, I'm embarassed to say I've lost that much, since I figure they're doing the mental math and realizing that I was well over 200 lbs before. I know this is fairly ridiculous - they could have looked at me and determined as much, but for some reason the numbers make it more concrete. Instead of telling the truth, I usually tell people that I've lost 30-something pounds when they ask. :embarassed: Or sometimes I'll just say "a lot!" and leave it at that!

At my crossfit box (gym), it's a different story. Those people know exactly what I looked like before, and they are so encouraging and motivating that I don't have a problem sharing my current and starting weight with them. My coach wants to do a little feature on me for the website - kind of a before and during story - but I am reluctant since I don't want people outside of the gym to know how bad it was before! I know this is totally irrational - it's just a number, people could see exactly what I looked like before I lost weight, but I'm still ashamed.

There's the added complication that I'm friends with high school friends on Facebook, and most haven't seen me in over 10 years (although one or two good ones see me at least a few times a year). Again, I know this is shallow and silly, but I don't want all of them knowing that I was so overweight. I have a 20 year reunion coming up this year, and I don't want to be the "former fat girl," - I just want to look great!

I guess I'm just venting. I'm annoyed at myself for worrying about a stupid number so much! I get compliments almost daily from friends and family, and at the gym. I just wish I was more comfortable sharing the numbers.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar?
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Replies

  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    Not sure if I can help with this other than to say I have nothing but respect for anyone who takes control of their weight - regardless of the starting point. Be proud!
  • randi50
    randi50 Posts: 112
    I refue to divulge my starting weight until I am way down! lol But when I lose a bunch more, I will be sharing the starting weight because that is an awesome feat! :)
  • royam01
    royam01 Posts: 123
    Be proud of how much you have lost! :) You don't need to give everyone the real number but 55 pounds just shows how dedicated you are! If I were you I would tell them! You are doing a great job!
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I can't say I have the same problem because I'm generally honest about a lot things. I get the opposite reaction when I tell people how much weight I've actually lost because they never thought I was as heavy as I was. I figured they were either bad at assessing weight by sight, or I hid my weight well since I was built for football. In the end, numbers truly don't mean anything because all that matters is that you're losing weight now and that you're proud of your success. What you did or were in the past stays there.
  • angisnee
    angisnee Posts: 236 Member
    I totally understand what you mean. Coworkers have been starting to make comments and ask question about how much I've lost and what I'm doing to lose it. I've never liked being the center of attention, so I get all embarrassed. But I have been telling them how much and that MFP is awesome! If my journey can inspire someone else to make positive changes, I'm going to share it no matter how embarrassed I get.

    Be proud of what you've accomplished. People will most likely be more stunned by how hard you've worked than by how much you used to weigh!

    Keep up the great work!!!
  • Badunkadunk_Buster
    Badunkadunk_Buster Posts: 184 Member
    ABSOLUTELY! I was going the exact same thing. Someone asked me a couple of weeks ago how much I had lost and I said about 40 lbs, when it was actually 48. "What would they think if they knew how much I weighed when I started?" As of today my weight loss is 54 lbs., and I am proud of the work I have done so far, so I posted my weight loss of facebook. And people who had not seen me since I had my child and gained weight had the best things to say about my weight loss. Because they are true friends and care about me, everyone was even more supportive that I could have hoped for.
  • Itisabouttime
    Itisabouttime Posts: 9
    I know what you mean! The last time I decided to lose weight, I dropped a good 20 pounds. If people made comments, I would mumble "Oh, a few pounds I suppose.."
    Congrats on your loss!!
  • Davali
    Davali Posts: 225 Member
    I'm with you on this one - I can't imagine owning up to what my starting weight was until I've lost a lot, lot more than I have so far.

    Never thought I was in denial - but I guess I am!!
  • peteyTwang
    peteyTwang Posts: 250
    " When you`re fat, the world is divided into two groups - people who bug you and people who leave you alone. The funny thing is, supporters and saboteurs exist in either camp" -- Liz Taylor (on her weight fluctuations)
  • girlruns
    girlruns Posts: 344
    Yup! I went through this too. Especially with a friend I've always been competitive with. Usually if people ask, I just say "45 pounds" (I wasn't at my max when I started MFP). They don't know what I weigh now, so they can't do the math, but one person, when told that I wanted to lose another ten (when I was still losing), "what will that put you at, 120 pounds?!?". It was 130 (my goal), but then the math secret is out.

    Basically, that rambling was to tell you you aren't being ridiculous, and it is a little embarrassing to admit how high you let your weight get, but people are truthfully more impressed with how much you lost than about how much you had gained. But it is still up to you how open you want to be with people.

    Congrats on your amazing accomplishments!
  • ybba12490
    ybba12490 Posts: 252
    Yup, I'm going through this too! Since I'm taller, I can lose 30lbs and it will only show a slight difference, so I'm going to tell everyone I lost only like 10 if they ask. lol

    Once I lose the extra 10-20 after 30 lbs, I can admit that I lost that.

    We people are so weird.lol
  • noltes2
    noltes2 Posts: 202 Member
    I completely understand. When I started my journey I wouldn't even tell my fiance what I weighed. I told him I would tell him once I lost weight because I was so ashamed of the number. Once I made it from 195 to 165, I finally spilled the beans to him and to the world on MFP. Now I am 153 and will tell the world because that is actually in a healthy weight range for the first time in my adult life! I'm still not at my goal yet, but I am working on it!

    It takes alot to admit what you weigh, but you know what? I'm sure almost everyone from high school has gained weight too, and had kids and their bodies have changed. This isn't high school or college anymore and no one should judge you for what life tends to bring us on our journeys... Especially because you have had the courage to DO something about your weight and have an amazing success story. Be proud and embrace the numbers, the loss represents so much time, work and dedication. OWN it, and be proud of every single pound you've lost. Trust me, they are not going to be thinking, "wow, look at how much weight she gained!" they are going to be thinking, "good for her for taking control, she looks amazing now!"

    We are our own worst critic, they will be envious if anything!
  • LosingLatina
    LosingLatina Posts: 5 Member
    When I began my weightloss journey I was 230lbs and my current weight is 168. My ultimate goals is around 145. I am very proud of the 62lbs I have lost! I have no problems sharing my strategies and weightloss with other because they have all been so supportive and so proud of my accomplishments. I may have even inspired a few of them to even try to get heatlhy themselves :)
    Keep up the good work, be proud, and enjoy your success!
  • jeaniedev
    jeaniedev Posts: 117 Member
    CONGRATS first of all....I am right there with you...I didn't even tell my husband what I weighed....I mean he sees all of me, I am pretty sure he knows I am overweight right???? Tota;;y not rational but still valid feelings...
    He now knows what I weigh and I do fear the same thing....mental math, but When I get to where I want to be I want to SCREAM it from the rooftop and tell the world, so they know how strong and amazing I am...to see where I came from and where I am now.....
    You shoule try to just change the way you are thinking....BE PROUD....and think of how awesome it is what you have accomplished. Let's face it we all gain weight for various reasons...babies. no exercise, bad genetics...Be proud of where you came from it is what makes you who you are today!!!!!!!!!!!!:smile:
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    Oh friend, you know I have to jump in here.

    Feel no guilt about where you are right now. I would just consider a sign that there may be a little bit more internal work to be done on your journey, and that’s okay. That’s why we call it a journey.

    There is a part of you that prefers to hold onto the shame you have with being overweight, rather than relish in the pride you should feel for transforming your body. Do you know how many people in this country—how many people using MyFitnessPal—say they want to lose weight, but do nothing about it? Do you know how many people with 60+ pounds to lose quit after losing less-than 10 pounds? How many people refuse to change their eating? Refuse to move their bodies? How many refuse to even get started?

    You saw a problem that only you could solve. And you are solving it. Every single day. That is a victory. That is not shameful. Shameful is not celebrating. Shameful is in not owning how powerful you are.

    And every time you lie about what you have accomplished by saying, “30 pounds,” when the answer is, “Fifty,” you are telling yourself, “I’m not worthy.” Your weight loss is not a fluke. Your weight loss is something you have earned. You are 100% worthy of it. Your body is not who you are. And the fact that it was once very overweight, does not make you an unlovable or worthless person. You were lovable then. And you are lovable now. And by being willing to live in the truth, you give love to your Self.
  • Maztastic
    Maztastic Posts: 43
    Totally agree Yolanda!
  • lyndyb88
    lyndyb88 Posts: 123 Member
    My highest weight was 315.5...I put that on facebook when I decided to start trying to lose weight...I was afraid of what people would think but I also knew that I was accountable for it. If I was embarrassed about it, then I knew I had to change it. I haven't lost as much as you have, but if I had I'd be more than happy to share it with the world. You are doing fantastic! You were gorgeous before and are even more gorgeous now!! Keep telling yourself that this weight loss journey is for YOU...not for anyone else. People are going to be so proud of how much you've lost odds are they won't say how did you weigh that much when you began but rather how can i do what you have done? Losing weight is such an amazing thing and you should feel proud of what you've done :D
  • manymuses
    manymuses Posts: 162 Member
    I know just how you feel and am right there with you. I've not even lost 20 pounds yet andI think people are amazed that I needed to lose THAT much. Little do they know, I have still have SO far yet to go. (like 4 times that much. Sigh)
    I don't mind sharing that here with my fellow MFPers who are all on the same journey, but my Facebook friends are such a diverse mix of friends, family and colleagues that I don't necessarily want to share all of my personal info with everyone. So, yes I know just where you're coming from and have complete empathy for your situation!
  • galaxysue
    galaxysue Posts: 83 Member
    I understand where you are coming from I was over 250lbs when i started and didn't lke to tell people what i weighed, not even my husband, I have now lost nearly 84lbs and I still need to go some more after that!! I am just so proud of myself. It's so nice when people notice and make nice comments.So don't worry about what people think, be proud of your achievement, you are doing something about it!!
  • galaxysue
    galaxysue Posts: 83 Member
    just noticed your signature we aren't too far apart weightwise now and our goal is the same, hope you get there:smile:
  • TriumphNow
    TriumphNow Posts: 526 Member
    I can definitely relate! I don't tell anyone but my husband how much I weigh (or weighed). I'll say how much I've lost though. When I reach my goal and keep it off for a while, maybe I'll be more comfortable with the numbers. The main thing is not to let the numbers be a hinderance to you moving forward!
  • DEANROBIN
    DEANROBIN Posts: 1 Member
    Although I don't have the same problem, I certainly understand how you feel. I just started this program because I felt I needed help with my weight loss. I don't have many true friends but some of those I have are noticeably smaller than I am and often comment about my hips and butt. (Personally, I think they are haters!!) I encourage you to keep up the good work and hopefully in a few weeks/months I can "brag" about my success as well. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
  • ProudMomoftwo
    ProudMomoftwo Posts: 525
    :flowerforyou:
    I totally get this.
    I had a bit of a disappointment yesterday. I knew my ancient scale here at home was inaccurate but I just weighed myself like 3 times and took the higher number as my starting weight.
    I really hate weigh-in day anyway but having a disagreeable scale just makes it that much worse.
    It is my own fault, I know, I should have bought a brand-spankin new one before I even started this journey - bad me!
    That being said, I still haven't bought a new one and I have been at this almost a month ( come April 1 ).
    Anyhoo, yesterday I took the kids to the YMCA pool for the open swim with some friends and I walked around the track.
    There was a fancy-shmancy scale - like the ones at the dr.s office- and I thought I would see what my ACTUAL wt was.
    Probably a bad idea in retrospect.
    I KNEW my scale was lying to me. I knew it!! I knew I had lost 8 lbs and that hasn't changed but my initial start up weight was higher than I thought and put in my settings on MFP.
    Heavy sigh
    Needless to say, I was rather discouraged....(wanted to weep really) but kept it together.
    Now my goals that seemed so attainable are just that much farther out of reach.
    Of course, at first, I didn't want to do anything that would admit the awful truth but then I thought - I am NOT going to do this on a lie. People can just look at me and guess pretty close to the truth so who am I kidding?
    So, last night I signed in to MFP and changed my settings to where they should have been from the start.
    Painful, embarrassing, disgusted with myself - YES!
    After sleeping on it - I feel a lot better about just doing it and putting it behind me.
    I am almost 10lbs lighter than my start weight and I am going to be proud of myself.
    I am not doing this for anyone else.
    This whole journey - hard truths and all are for ME.
    I will not sabotage myself - so help me!

    Best of luck grappling with this - it is hard!

    Best of luck
  • jdsloot
    jdsloot Posts: 10
    I say tell them all, I am so proud you lost 55 lbs that is really hard. I am 310 I just started out and I can't wait to tell people I dropped a whole person and that it was my bad side lol. You are doing great!!!!
  • nothteach
    nothteach Posts: 1 Member
    I understand. After 2 children the weight kept creeping higher and higher. 4 years ago I joined WW and lost 70 pounds. And...then I got cocky and reverted back to my old eating habits. At the doctor last Friday I saw what my weight is and just about wept. I felt/fell like I totally failed. So, I'm trying MFP. I don't want to talk about what I'm doing to others, I don't want the "I told you so's" about how the weight would come back. When you're ready, stand tall and stand proud of what you have accomplished. As my friend told me (while I called crying after the appointment), it's just a number, it's not a sign of weakness or failure. You're human and stuff happens BUT now you've taken ownership and you're working towards a healthier lifestyle. You're an inspiration to many people and that is definitely something to be proud of. When you're ready, you'll know. Peace and keep up the good work!
  • labgirl3
    labgirl3 Posts: 171 Member
    I want to thank each and every one of you - I wish I could give you all a hug!

    Yolanda - I think you hit the nail on the head. I need to focus on what I've accomplished now, not what I was before. I'm not doing that - I want to, but a little voice inside my head keeps holding me back. I feel like it's hard to celebrate how far I've come since that means I had let myself go so far. I'm focusing on what I saw / see as a failure (to maintain my weight / exercise / eat healthfully). Infuriating! I really need to work on that.

    I keep telling myself that I have great respect for people who've lost a good deal of weight. I see people on here every day who weigh more than I do - some have starting weights 100 lbs. or more higher. I am always delighted to read about their successes - I know how hard it is to drag around an extra 10, 20, 50 lbs - and how much harder it is just to do simple tasks, or make the effort to exercise with the equivalent of a small child hanging off of you 24/7. I just don't know why I think that others will think anything less of me. Or why I should care even if they do!

    I still haven't even told my husband how much I've lost. He's incredibly supportive, and has never said anything negative about my weight at any point, but I just am too embarassed to admit I weighed more than he did!

    One day soon I hope to get over my fears and post a success story.
  • labgirl3
    labgirl3 Posts: 171 Member
    I understand. After 2 children the weight kept creeping higher and higher. 4 years ago I joined WW and lost 70 pounds. And...then I got cocky and reverted back to my old eating habits. At the doctor last Friday I saw what my weight is and just about wept. I felt/fell like I totally failed. So, I'm trying MFP. I don't want to talk about what I'm doing to others, I don't want the "I told you so's" about how the weight would come back. When you're ready, stand tall and stand proud of what you have accomplished. As my friend told me (while I called crying after the appointment), it's just a number, it's not a sign of weakness or failure. You're human and stuff happens BUT now you've taken ownership and you're working towards a healthier lifestyle. You're an inspiration to many people and that is definitely something to be proud of. When you're ready, you'll know. Peace and keep up the good work!

    First of all - welcome to MFP, and good luck to you on your journey!

    I think this is another thing I'm afraid of. Losing weight, only to gain it all back. I feel like I've found a "diet" (as in "way of eating") that I can stick with long term, and I absolutely love my crossfit workouts and buddies. So I'm hoping that this is a permanent change. But I've been down this road before. Never at this starting weight, and I've never lost this much weight (I think the most was maybe 35 lbs after my 2nd pregnancy). But again with that damn little inner voice telling me that it won't last, I won't be able to keep it off.

    I hope this time is different. I feel like it is. I know it's within my power to make sure it is.
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
    You should be proud, but if you are still a private person about it, you can always decline the exposure.

    On the other hand, just putting it out there might help you "get over" the insecurity. Do what you feel comfortable with. Seriously, do you care what people from highschool you never talk to anymore think of you at your reunion? I joked around my 10yr that I was sitting on the couch at home that night chatting with a couple close friends I still keep in touch with because no self-inflating egotistical lying or body-shaping underwear was required! :laugh:
  • ERapp01
    ERapp01 Posts: 32 Member
    I get it !

    I have lost and gained the same weight back for the last 15 years. Each time gaining more than my last time. I have lost 31 lbs, and lie if anyone ask me. I say "no difference on the scale, just walking more".

    I have 69 more lbs to go and more lies to come :)
  • Delicate
    Delicate Posts: 625 Member
    Know exactly how you feel, I never tell anyone exactly how much I weighed or how much I weigh (mfp i dont mind so much though)

    I just tell them 'x pounds' 'only a bit' or 'not enough'

    Mainly cause I feel so bad on how I was before and how I let it get that bad in the first place.

    But I have always ate rather healthy just way to much portion wise.

    However at the moment they just think of me as the energizer bunny constantly going to the gym, a few of them have asked how long i've done that and if its only a phase. Yep 5 years gymming is a phase !
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