Embarassed to share weight loss / starting weight in real li

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  • scagneti
    scagneti Posts: 707 Member
    I don't like telling people my weight because they pretty much always go "OMG, you STILL weigh THAT much?" (capitals are where their voice inflections happen). I'm down to a size four with a 29 inch waist, flat stomach (with a layer of fat over it, but it's really quite flat) and small hips, but I guess I have a lot of muscle or something because I'm still at 142, which to them at least, sounds like a lot. Funny thing is prior to that, they're telling me how great I look and that I should be stopping soon so I don't get "too skinny", and as soon as they hear a number, I'm expecting them to call me overweight.

    From now on I'm tempted to just say that I don't have a scale or weigh myself because it's not an accurate representation of the work and see if they get the point.
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    I want to thank each and every one of you - I wish I could give you all a hug!

    Yolanda - I think you hit the nail on the head. I need to focus on what I've accomplished now, not what I was before. I'm not doing that - I want to, but a little voice inside my head keeps holding me back. I feel like it's hard to celebrate how far I've come since that means I had let myself go so far. I'm focusing on what I saw / see as a failure (to maintain my weight / exercise / eat healthfully). Infuriating! I really need to work on that.

    I keep telling myself that I have great respect for people who've lost a good deal of weight. I see people on here every day who weigh more than I do - some have starting weights 100 lbs. or more higher. I am always delighted to read about their successes - I know how hard it is to drag around an extra 10, 20, 50 lbs - and how much harder it is just to do simple tasks, or make the effort to exercise with the equivalent of a small child hanging off of you 24/7. I just don't know why I think that others will think anything less of me. Or why I should care even if they do!

    I still haven't even told my husband how much I've lost. He's incredibly supportive, and has never said anything negative about my weight at any point, but I just am too embarassed to admit I weighed more than he did!

    One day soon I hope to get over my fears and post a success story.

    I absolutely believe you will get there. Last week I admitted to my husband that at my starting weight, I outweighed him by 100 pounds. He was stunned that it was that high, because he’s never looked at me as a very obese person. Though I was, and still am. So I’m not saying that I don’t get the obstacles. I get it. I struggle with it, too. But I still know that the shame is damaging, and that in the end it will sabotage, not aid, in our success. So, we keep working and moving forward. You will get to another place on this. The fact that you recognize it as a problem is already a sign that change is afoot!
  • nlhawthorne
    nlhawthorne Posts: 34
    I know exactly what you mean. I've lost 150lb but I can't bring myself to share that with anyone who hasn't been in the same boat because to have been 150lb overweight feels like a huge weakness. People react in a horrified way as they do the mental math and try to figure out how heavy you must have been before, especially if, like me, you're still quite large. It's almost humiliating. However you have to remember that you don't owe anyone anything. If you don't want to tell them how much you've lost, then don't - just say you're not comfortable discussing it. Most people will back off at that point because they don't want to invade your privacy. But just remember you should be proud, not ashamed. You've lost a lot of weight and become a lot healthier. There's no shame in that. Feel proud but only share what you feel comfortable with. You don't owe anyone anything else - look after yourself as your priority,
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
    I'm with Yolanda. My husband knows what I weigh. My friends know what I weigh. All of you know what I weigh. It is what it is and I'm not ashamed of myself. Is it something that needs to be fixed? Yes, for health reasons. Is it something to hide and beat myself up over? Not to me it's not. Be proud of yourself no matter where you're at.
  • ericzintx
    ericzintx Posts: 32
    The past is the past! Sabrina said it before I could - It is what it is. You have come such a long way - you have showed yourself and everyone else that you are dedicated to changing your future. Now THAT is something to be proud of.

    This is great personal growth success story! GREAT job!
  • llkilgore
    llkilgore Posts: 1,169 Member
    I tell the curious that I've lost a spare tire large enough to fit a mac truck, which of course is an exaggeration, but does accurately reflect my feelings on the subject. So far no one has pursued the matter any further.
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
    You should tell people you have done so well. I tell literally anyone that will listen and most of them that don't. Most people are lovely and want to know what you secret is, you get the odd jealous look, take it as a compliment :D
  • Rebeccasluckyduck
    Rebeccasluckyduck Posts: 168 Member
    All of us (or at least most of us) have gained and lost and gained and lost and....the same weight over and over again. Be proud that you have lost this much weight this time around and that you are here at MFP learning how to keep it off. The best thing about this site is it teaches us to eat right. We're not counting points or buying prepackaged food by the month. We're learning to watch our portion sizes and consider the calorie and fat content in something before we eat it.

    Be soooo proud of what you have accomplished and know that everyone else is proud of you too.

    Success is a journey, not a destination.
  • anna_b1
    anna_b1 Posts: 588 Member
    I completely understand!!! Very few people who see me everyday know I've lost weight, but they notice something is different about me. I got my haircut last week, so they just naturally assume it's that that's different about me, and I don't correct them. Yes, my hair is different, but my face does look thinner and judging by my baggy clothes I'm fairly sure my body must look different too.

    Don't get me wrong: Like you I'm so proud of how hard I'm working, but I just would rather people don't discern how badly I needed to lose this weight. (Even though the rational me realizes this was obvious to everyone!)

    I've been practising what to say to people when they do start to notice like those who only see me rarely already do. I've practised the "I'm trying. Thanks" response and the "Oh, I've lost a bit". It just makes me feel uncomfortable.
  • tiaydew
    tiaydew Posts: 89 Member
    I think telling my husband and close friends my true weight really made it more real to me that I needed to get responsible about my health. I was in denial for a long time but it was actually a relief being honest.
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