Anyone else going through divorce or been through one?

2

Replies

  • Nanadena
    Nanadena Posts: 739 Member
    I divorced after 21 years and lost 200 lbs overnight!!!!!:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
    You make me laugh Nanadena!!! I know things will get better and I am already seeing that in myself!! Woohoo go us!
  • cdbjr2000
    cdbjr2000 Posts: 63 Member
    Good topic and yes. Seperated for 2 years and gained 25 lbs but am now back on track. I have loss 5 lbs since joining this site and aim to lose 45 more.
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
    Twice here.
  • Triquetra
    Triquetra Posts: 270 Member
    Divorced 2.5 years now after a 15 yr marriage. He left me (cheated) for a woman LARGER than me after I lost 40 lbs. :noway: Now I have lost another 165 (him) :laugh: and am working to get down to my correct BMI before I start to get out there again to date.
  • jewelzz
    jewelzz Posts: 326 Member
    I did it 9 years ago after 13 yrs of marriage,however for me i was so relieved to be done that I lost an incrediable amount of weight.everyone deals with stress differently I was an emotional eater when I was so unhappy and after I was so relieved to have made the decision to leave that I realy got myself back
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
    I think it has been somewhat the same for me jewelzz in that I am starting to get on the weight loss train since I know for sure things will be final hopefully soon but I was definitely an emotional eater and never thought I was! You guys rock, thanks for sharing!!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    Another been there, done that, bought the t-shirt here. I ate and drank myself into oblivion and had a nightmare coming of antidepressants afterwards.

    It gets better, I promise.
  • Bride2B090812
    Bride2B090812 Posts: 34
    I went through a divorce about 8 years ago, but I actually lost a ton of weight when I left. I think it was relief (he was a cheater & emotionally/verbally abusive) and also that I finally saw myself as ME instead of wife, mother, house cleaner, chef...etc. It was a really stressful time, but I had this attitude that I was going to show him that I could be better without him....and I did =) BUT....after maintaining a thin frame for several years, I put most of the weight back on when I moved in with my boyfriend a couple years ago. I realized something about myself....I get "lost" when I am living with someone, I become the caretaker and I sacrifice all of me to make them happy. I realize now that the best and healthiest me is more important than trying to be the "super woman" for someone else and I am going to put myself first from now on when it comes to my health and well being.

    My best piece of advice is to think of it as an opportunity to take time for yourself and get "you" back. It is a very hard thing to go through, but when you come out on the other side and see that you have in fact survived you will feel like you have been given a new life. Hang in there and feel free to add me as a friend =)
  • shakemybooty
    shakemybooty Posts: 681 Member
    Married in 1997 to high school love, preemie baby in 1999, headed for the big D in 2001 and finished in 2002. Talk about traumatic! I was a boney 113 lbs without even trying. Wish I could do that now! LOL

    It's hell on earth to go through but it all fades away like everything else (think childbirth). We are much better at parenting than at being spouses and get along fine. I never would have though that would have been possible.

    It's like a death and you have to go through the grieving process.

    Big hugs and best wishes to everyone going through it now.
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
    Looks my divorce will be final on April 7th so not too long from now. I am actually pretty ok with that at least I think so, lol!
  • fotofreak01
    fotofreak01 Posts: 397 Member
    I went through one on 2005 and it was the best day of my life!!! :drinker: :happy: :smile: :wink:
  • jeffrodgers1
    jeffrodgers1 Posts: 991 Member
    Been there... done that.

    13 years ago, I left my ex for the protection of my daughter.

    Death and divorce are the two most stress things a person should go thru. When children are involved, I am sure Divorce is number one.

    My ex fought me for custody to point of my almost having to declare bankruptcy. She then walked away for almost 10 years without so much as a phone call. She left me 15,000 in debt and has never paid me a nickle in child support. Deadbeats come in all shapes, sexes and sizes.

    The key is to have an outlet for the stress and also to remember there are always better days ahead!

    You'll get thru it!
  • outersoul
    outersoul Posts: 711
    It's been a while but I was in the same boat. I put on more weight during that time and kept it on. You can get through it. You can do it.
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
    Thanks again everyone, it feels great to meet so many people who have been through the same situation and are so supportive and don't judge!! Good luck to everyone :-)
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
    Thought I was doing pretty good today but had some family asked what was going on with me and my soon to be ex-husband and I lost it, it is harder to say it in person to someone. Yuck...
  • jeffrodgers1
    jeffrodgers1 Posts: 991 Member
    Thought I was doing pretty good today but had some family asked what was going on with me and my soon to be ex-husband and I lost it, it is harder to say it in person to someone. Yuck...

    Time heals all wounds, but sometimes the scars run deep. Tomorrow is another day!

    Wish I could send you a hug and make you feel better. It will get better ! :smile:
  • Nigel99
    Nigel99 Posts: 498 Member
    I went through a divorce back in '97 - not nearly as bad as what many have gone through, but tough enough considering I have a daughter that went to live with her mother, and I missed seeing her every day. In the long run, things have worked out ok though. We get along well, and there are no lingering issues. It is really great for my daughter.

    Sounds like you have the right attitude, mandapanda! Just move on to a new chapter, feel good about yourself, and see what is just over the horizon.
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
    Thought I was doing pretty good today but had some family asked what was going on with me and my soon to be ex-husband and I lost it, it is harder to say it in person to someone. Yuck...

    Time heals all wounds, but sometimes the scars run deep. Tomorrow is another day!

    Wish I could send you a hug and make you feel better. It will get better ! :smile:

    Awww thanks Jeff that means a lot! I know eventually it will, things just catch me off guard and it gets hard.
  • MsMe79
    MsMe79 Posts: 54
    Yes, I've been divorced for a while, but I gained ALL my weight when I was married to my ex-husband, he took away my self esteem and respect for myself.

    I woke up and realised that I was over that side of my life, I'm now married to the man of my dreams and the only thing that reminds me of my old life is my weight and I need to lose it all and get rid of that "baggage" once and for all!
  • wwagw72
    wwagw72 Posts: 45
    That's sad, keep your head up. We aren't all like that. :)
  • newman50
    newman50 Posts: 16
    Got divorced 9 yrs ago. Gained 15 kg from fat food and alcohol

    We got back together 3 years ago and are very very happy. I have dropped most of the 15 kg and on the way to my goal weight

    Divorce is tough, very tough but it can make you very strong and determined

    There are better times post divorce. Stay strong
  • wwagw72
    wwagw72 Posts: 45
    Going through the same thing. Tough for sure. Being inLimbo is the worse thing ever, It just needs to be over. I gained weight over the past few years because nothing was ever good enough for him so... I just ate. Good Luck. So far I am really loving this site and all the support. Everyone on here is so positive. You will love it.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    My ex is getting remarried. He didn't tell me of course, I found out through mutual friends, many of whom have now met his new fiancée and tell me she's lovely. It really shouldn't bug me, but I wish people wouldn't keep asking me how I feel about it - I was fine until you asked, now I'm having nightmares about it!
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
    As of last Saturday my ex is my neighbor, he is living 2 houses away from me. Talk about stress!
  • lovetowrite73
    lovetowrite73 Posts: 1,244 Member
    Got divorced 9 yrs ago. Gained 15 kg from fat food and alcohol

    We got back together 3 years ago and are very very happy. I have dropped most of the 15 kg and on the way to my goal weight

    Divorce is tough, very tough but it can make you very strong and determined

    There are better times post divorce. Stay strong
    Same here. We divorced in 2008 and got back together a year later. :laugh: But for about a year and a half leading up to the divorce, things were AWFUL. It took me almost a year to heal and realize my worth again. Trust me, I was in the dumps - breaking into his voice mail, credit card accounts, etc. - basically just prolonging the pain. I grew as a person 100-fold and am now actually a completely different person (as he is). It took us to be apart in order to grow, I suppose. We go to therapy and everything now to make sure we don't ever return to where we were.

    I feel your pain. Good luck on the 7th. My divorce was actually uncontested so the process only took about 6 months from the date I filed to the date the judge granted the divorce. It was finalized 3 months after the hearing date. Here's hoping you can find the strength to heal. *hugs*
  • jeffrodgers1
    jeffrodgers1 Posts: 991 Member
    As of last Saturday my ex is my neighbor, he is living 2 houses away from me. Talk about stress!

    Ouch... talk about licking salt in the wound.
  • k8bugz
    k8bugz Posts: 64 Member
    I got divorced 3 years ago. It got really ugly; I had to change my phone number and cutoff contact due to harassment. I've dated a little but nothing serious, and I'm not really ready to put myself completely out there yet. It was a horrible process, but the best thing I ever did for myself, and one of my proudest achievements.

    I gained about 80 pounds over the course of our relationship. I really can't wait to lose that baggage.
  • vrpadilla0315
    vrpadilla0315 Posts: 4
    Almost 3 years ago I got divorced. Very stressful and frustrating to me, so thats when i started to run. I would run 4-6 times a week, 3-5 miles each run. Then about a year later i stopped all exercise and got into heavy drinking and fell into a deep depression where i attempted suicide and was admitted for 6 days till my family could pick me up and take me home with them where i got treatment and 2 months later i decided to move back home and go back to work. I had a hard time going back to the gym or doing any type of exercise. i would do a day or two then stop for months. I am now attempting exercise again at least 3 times a week. i keep digging for that will power that i used to have when I was running. Still need to remind myself that everything that was said and done to me during the divorce was about me.
  • vrpadilla0315
    vrpadilla0315 Posts: 4
    i keep hearing from people that thier ex spouses took everything. Am I the only dumb one to leave it all behind?
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