I think some people just wanna see you fail.

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  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    The sad fact is that it's true--there are people who don't want you to change.

    But it's not really about you, but rather about them.

    You know the drill. Just think of the million and one excuses you told yourself over the years while gaining the weight. I'm tired. I'm busy. I'm naturally fat. I don't have time. It's too expensive to eat well. I'll start tomorrow. Men like curves (yes they do, but curves ain't what we're discussing here, right? ) I won't list all the excuses, but you know what they are.

    When YOU take the reins and get back in control of your life, it threatens everyone else because their excuses suddenly look very flimsy. They abruptly and unwelcomely have to face that they are lying to themselves every minute of every day. People tend not to like that. So they fight back. They'd rather do anything (including ultimately die) than to face a truth they don't want to face.

    So even though you may not be running around preaching the 'better living' gospel, the simple fact of your success makes them uneasy. Some will just avoid you, some will try to sabotage you, and some will get angry. But keep in mind, that's not about YOU. It's about them and what they aren't ready to face.
  • gatorflyer
    gatorflyer Posts: 536 Member
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    You have every right to be upset (don't let your husband off the hook that easily either, because he should have told you about the friends coming over and maybe you could have planned better). I'm not sure it's so much that people want to see you fail as much as it's not their reality, therefore it's inconsequential to them. This is YOUR journey, not theirs so you have to own it. Ultimately, you're the only one that can control what you eat, regardless of the temptations around you. There will always be temptations, you just need to learn and develop positive skills to deal with them. You could have gone for a walk to both cool off and get in some exercise. Just use this as more motivation to reach your goals, and surround yourself with positive folks that are supportive of what you're trying to do. That will help you to not be brought down by the others. Good luck!
  • SCC88
    SCC88 Posts: 215 Member
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    I know exactly what you're talking about! I've had to put up with this for years! My fella will be going to the shops after work for a sugary snack and before he goes i get the usual: "do you want anything? no? you sure? Im getting a twix, you sure you dont want one? last chance! Now are you sure!"
    I've told him not to aks loads of times! I say to him - "you're a feeder!, stop trying to feed me when you know how much effort im putting into a diet!"
    Anyways, 20 minutes later he'll be back from the shop with two chocolate bars saying "I know you'd want one once you saw mine so i got you one anyway!' WTF!!
    I have the worst will power EVER! and im addicted to chocolate like a hooker is to crack! He knows that if its in the room, it will haunt me for a solid 2 hours, playing on my mind until ive consumed it, and the guilt lasts longer than the time spent eating!
    YOU ARE SO TRUE that some people just want to see you fail :cry:
  • en4cerd43
    en4cerd43 Posts: 34 Member
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    A lot of people want you to fail because you are getting results and they aren't. It's a lame psychological way of keeping you on their level. You get enjoyment out of different things now; healthy eating and exercise and they still enjoy greasy food, not exercising and not working toward goals. People do not understand how much work you are putting in, how much you are sacrificing, how much you are changing because they are not doing it with you. You have to wear your heart on your sleeve in these situations and tell them that you haven't been working hard just to slack off when THEY feel like chowing down on some pizza. Be assertive, just like you are with your diet and exercise. They may not understand the physical grind, but if you put your foot down they may understand the mental grind you are putting yourself through.

    Just wait until people tell you that you look too skinny and try to make you feel self-conscious about how good you look. Those are coming next.
  • SCC88
    SCC88 Posts: 215 Member
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    The sad fact is that it's true--there are people who don't want you to change.

    But it's not really about you, but rather about them.

    You know the drill. Just think of the million and one excuses you told yourself over the years while gaining the weight. I'm tired. I'm busy. I'm naturally fat. I don't have time. It's too expensive to eat well. I'll start tomorrow. Men like curves (yes they do, but curves ain't what we're discussing here, right? ) I won't list all the excuses, but you know what they are.

    When YOU take the reins and get back in control of your life, it threatens everyone else because their excuses suddenly look very flimsy. They suddenly and unwelcomely have to face that they are lying to themselves every minute of every day. People tend not to like that. So they fight back. They'd rather do anything (including ultimately die) than to face a truth they don't want to face.

    So even though you may not be running around preaching the 'better living' gospel, the simple fact of your success makes them uneasy. Some will just avoid you, some will try to sabotage you, and some will get angry. But keep in mind, that's not about YOU. It's about them and what they aren't ready to face.

    couldn't be any further from the truth right there!! x
  • A_shelton316
    A_shelton316 Posts: 127 Member
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    I think every person who is trying to lose weight has that one person in their life who always tries to ruin it for them. However, here is my question... Did you eat the pizza or did you cook what you were planning on eating, because if you ate the pizza than you let her win. You are going to come up against obstacles all the time, you just had to learn how to say NO. Good Luck with your weight loss quest.


    Yes I did eat the pizza. I really need to over come my self control problems thats why I cant have that stuff in my house!
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    The sad fact is that it's true--there are people who don't want you to change.

    But it's not really about you, but rather about them.

    You know the drill. Just think of the million and one excuses you told yourself over the years while gaining the weight. I'm tired. I'm busy. I'm naturally fat. I don't have time. It's too expensive to eat well. I'll start tomorrow. Men like curves (yes they do, but curves ain't what we're discussing here, right? ) I won't list all the excuses, but you know what they are.

    When YOU take the reins and get back in control of your life, it threatens everyone else because their excuses suddenly look very flimsy. They suddenly and unwelcomely have to face that they are lying to themselves every minute of every day. People tend not to like that. So they fight back. They'd rather do anything (including ultimately die) than to face a truth they don't want to face.

    So even though you may not be running around preaching the 'better living' gospel, the simple fact of your success makes them uneasy. Some will just avoid you, some will try to sabotage you, and some will get angry. But keep in mind, that's not about YOU. It's about them and what they aren't ready to face.

    couldn't be any further from the truth right there!! x

    With what did you disagree so strenuously that you felt the need to lob an attack with no specifics?
  • A_shelton316
    A_shelton316 Posts: 127 Member
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    Thank you all for your kind words and your motivation. Today is a new day! I will start planning better and working really hard on myself control. :flowerforyou:
  • _LA_
    _LA_ Posts: 111
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    I know the feeling, and it sucks!! You got through that one - hope occasions like that are few and far between for you (and that they end up being victories, no matter how tough they are to get through!)
  • SCC88
    SCC88 Posts: 215 Member
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    couldn't be any further from the truth right there!! x

    With what did you disagree so strenuously that you felt the need to lob an attack with no specifics?

    Pipe down! I accidently said further instead of closer! But WOW! what an "attack" that 9 word sentence was, ouchy ouchy :laugh:
  • parisianskies002
    parisianskies002 Posts: 88
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    It's fine to have a little rant :)

    Only you can control what you put into your mouth, & only you can tell others that you cannot be around that kind of food because of course it is normal to give into temptation no matter how hard we try, we just end up feeling guilty for it. lt would be very wise to talk to them and tell them how you feel and let them know that you are serious about losing weight.

    You'll get there! :) Good luck x
  • tjdurden
    tjdurden Posts: 7
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    Or..... you could just tell them to 'stop being proper c*nts' and when they looked shocked that you used the 'c' word you can have a massive rant about how you're trying to do something positive for yourself and everyone keeps chatting *kitten* and telling you you're this, that, and the other.

    Go to the extreme, *kitten* it. You'll probably shed a few calories just getting worked up. ;)

    Ok, that's probably not good advice, but at the end of the day, you either want to diet or you don't. People don't fail because someone says something nasty. They fail because they're weak themselves, and the only way to achieve something is by being strong inside, and if any of these comments, or any on any other forums are what's keeping that motivation alive for you, then you need to rethink your methods for motivation. It's your life, live it how you want. You wanna be overweight, be overweight, if you don't, then don't, but don't give two hoots about what other people think, want, or react based on your choices unless you know it's hurting them or plain stupid.

    Either way though, best wishes all round.
  • michelegbowman
    michelegbowman Posts: 195
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    I see this in a different way.

    For my family, everyone has the same equation:

    FOOD = LOVE.

    For your aunt to come over with food and have a shindig with your hubby and friends says a lot about you:

    You have a loving family.

    My advice to you is to prepare. Stock some Weight Watchers pizza in your freezer for when those times come. Throw your arms around your aunt's neck and welcome her. She loves you.

    and enjoy your healthy body and your family and friends who love you by simply eating something healthy while they eat whatever it is they do.

    You are loved.

    Count your blessings.

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