Skinny ppl at the gym

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  • Lexie71
    Lexie71 Posts: 144 Member
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    I sometimes "think for others" too much and not only do I feel judged but I find myself judging in defense.

    What I mean is....I will sometime see someone smaller or more fit at the gym and I say to myself, "She probably thinks I don't belong here" or "They are laughing at me" and then I start to mentally rip them apart, "Well they aren't that serious wearing those clothes they just want to show off" or "You don't look that hot either sweetie!"

    When in fact, they may or may not think negative things about me being there. And it is none of my business what they think of me. What I think of me is what matters most and I need to stay focused on my workout goals and leave other people to their own goals...be it working out or looking out! :)
  • curleesam
    curleesam Posts: 462 Member
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    WOW its hard being a woman! I think it's natural to feel a little competitive.

    I don't think we should hate on the skinnies though because they couldve been fat at one point and burnt it all off! I say this as when I started back at gym after having my daughter I was FAT (45lbs heavier) and now I would like to think I look pretty decent in lycra (almost skinny in fact!) and I do take pride in the fact that I look good now and don't feel big headed about saying it as it has taken me 6months to get my confidence back so I am making the most of it!

    My point is, nobody knows what the journey is behind that skinny person in the gym. I say look on, admire them and aspire to do it for yourself!
  • Scidoc
    Scidoc Posts: 106 Member
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    I go to a womens gym, and I find that the problem isn't as exagerrated as a mixed genders gym...you do still find the occasional woman wearing jewels and leopard print leggings, but it is quite rare. Everyone at my gym pretty much just focuses on there own thing, bigger ladies talk to smaller ladies, smaller ladies are sweating as much as everyone else too. Not much hanging around and talking or oogling. I think a lot of this has to do with either showing off the goods to the opposite gender, or in cases like at my gym where this isn't necessarily the case, an issue with feeling good about oneself. Both situations I think are fine...who cares really?

    Just focus on yourself, and try to pay no attention to anyone else :)
  • ChristineMiller2
    ChristineMiller2 Posts: 116
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    I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged, that makes me sad. We have insecurities, even those seemingly perfect skinny girls. Try hard not to compare yourself, its sad what society has done to womens body image. Be proud you are there working on a healthier you and try not to focus on them **hugs***
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    I sometimes "think for others" too much and not only do I feel judged but I find myself judging in defense.

    What I mean is....I will sometime see someone smaller or more fit at the gym and I say to myself, "She probably thinks I don't belong here" or "They are laughing at me" and then I start to mentally rip them apart, "Well they aren't that serious wearing those clothes they just want to show off" or "You don't look that hot either sweetie!"

    When in fact, they may or may not think negative things about me being there. And it is none of my business what they think of me. What I think of me is what matters most and I need to stay focused on my workout goals and leave other people to their own goals...be it working out or looking out! :)


    ummm...this...this ...this....

    We are all too busy judging ourselves really. There is a trend however to assign our own judgements of ourselves to others. I am so tired of hearing what a skinny person MUST be thinking of anyone else in the gym and why the skinny person is bad because of it. If the skinny person has said discouraging things to you then yes they are a nasty person...but to assume they are thinking your own judgemental thought and think they suck because of it really stinks.

    We are all trying to do what we can to be a better version of ourselves...let's support each other and not jump to assumptions about what anyone else is thinking. It is a dangerous though process.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    I dont pay attention to what anyones doing but me.If a chick thats totally hot is in there strutting her stuff good for her! it dosent make me feel any diffrently about myself.I do like it a lil when the hot fit chicks are there because it reminds me of what im working for.
  • FitPhysique
    FitPhysique Posts: 284 Member
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    sure, i'm jealous as hell of the skinny / hot people at the gym, but i don't blame them, if i was that hot, i'd be wearing super hot gear as well...

    as it is, my youngest child is almost 3, and i still wear my maternity top, just because i can't be bothered wasting money on new clothes for the gym, until i lose more weight, and yeah, my maternity top is swimming on me, but at least it hides some of my bulges...

    what i hate is the super hot trainers who obviously just want to train the hot people, and are not at all interested in training me. that is just offensive, when they don't call back to make appointments, and change dates on you left right and centre, so you feel like they don't want to take your money and work with you because obviously it's not a good enough perve to be checking out my cellulitey butt and wobbly saggy boobs. you'd think there would be someone who wants a decent project to work with. one who is cashed up and ready to lose some serious weight, and work hard...
    Sorry to hear that. It's really sad that ppl feel they can treat others in such a bad way. I would think that they wnat to rain someone where you can really see dramatic results. You'd be their wlaking billboard. Anyways, it's their lost. Once of my friends who is a personal trainer got a lot of clients from my company because he trained one of the managers and she lost 70lbs. Now 3 years later she moved to another company and leaves and hr away. He still trains her and her husband and drive 2 hrs round trip on saturdays and sundays to do so because he has gotten so much business because of them.
  • DizzieLittleLifter
    DizzieLittleLifter Posts: 1,020 Member
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    I hope you don't mind if I present a little different side to this....:flowerforyou:

    At my tiny, small town YMCA, I AM the skinny girl. At the time of day I go in, there just aren't any other ladies my age that train to the extent that I do. It makes me stand out. And being a somewhat shy person, I don't like standing out.

    It is really hurtful when I see the disgusted looks that get thrown my way. The feelings the OP shared....let me say that those feelings are NOT hidden, and we "skinny girls" notice and feel them. And it is hurtful. Because we have sweated blood to get what we have, and most of us would be more than happy to encourage and share information....if you would give us a chance. But most of the time, my smiles don't even get returned.

    I don't say this to sound defensive at all, but rather to say that for me, personally, I go to the gym to work on MY body. When I see less fit individuals in there, I am silently CHEERING for them, because I think ANYONE who gets out of bed and makes an effort to better themselves deserves a round of applause. That's just my two cents worth. :smile:

    Awesome post Allie!!

    I'm not a huge muscular guy, but I am in pretty decent shape these days. Now that I bought my first pair of tri shorts, I will be wearing them when I go swim. They are tight and fitted but I wear them for ME because I need to practice in the equipment I will be wearing on race day. When I ride the bike at the gym on nasty days, I wear bike shorts that are also tight and again, it's for ME. I know I will be on the bike for an hour minimum and, without my bike shorts, my *kitten* would HURT!!

    For people who don't like the "skinny people" at the gym, you are entitled to your opinion. However, many of those people worked their tails off to get their results and don't deserve to be shot dirty looks for being in shape any more than someone deserves a dirty look for being overweight. That actually seems pretty hypocritical to me.

    I'm with Allie; I support and encourage everyone who is at the gym as they are all making good choices to live a healthy life and improve themselves. I hope that everyone can learn to do the same.


    I couldn't have said this any better. Like the above poster I experience the SAME thing at my gym. Heck, I get the same flack when I take my kids to the pool. It hurts. I am sorry, truly sorry that you (OP) feel this way :( It makes me sad. I hope that you can find a way to get through this mental aspect and use it to drive you futher. Bottom line is that you are going to the gym to better yourself, both mentalyl and physically. You deserve to be there just as the "hot skinny" people deserve to be there. I never ever look at anyone and think negatively about them. Mostly I focus on myself or watch the trainers. I am there after all, for me. :flowerforyou:
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
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    While I most definitely envy the slender women and long to one day look like that, I think that (for me anyway) it's more of a matter of what is appropriate attire etc. I don't think that wearing JUST a bra and hot pants is appropriate for any public place, and to me that includes the gym There is a plethora of options when it comes to workout wear, so I think a tank top and even spandex shorts is more appropriate than just a bra, etc. But that's just me. Has nothing to do with how fat or skinny someone is, but just what I believe to be tasteful. I think it's great to want to show off what you've earned, but that you can certainly do that without the skimpy clothing.
  • treekins
    treekins Posts: 73 Member
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    This is tough on me...I'm one of those "skinny girls" at the gym...and I work my *kitten* off for it! I'm a pretty shy person, so it's painful to see those "why are YOU here" looks?
    I get disdainful comments from friends, too, who look at me and don't think I need to work out. 5 years ago, I was 50 pounds heavier. I'm in good shape today BECAUSE I work out and eat well.

    I also look at the superfit girls at the gym and think, WOW, she looks amazing! *I* want to get there! And I look at the ladies who are wtill workin' it, old and young, big and small, sweating at the machines or with the weights and I feel proud of them all. I wish everyone could take that attitude and just be supportive. You don't know a person's story just by looking at them; please don't judge based on looks!

    Tree
  • treekins
    treekins Posts: 73 Member
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    ps: I go to an all-women's gym where "respectful" attire is mandatory...sleeves are a must!
  • fasttrack27
    fasttrack27 Posts: 324
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    I hope you don't mind if I present a little different side to this....:flowerforyou:

    At my tiny, small town YMCA, I AM the skinny girl. At the time of day I go in, there just aren't any other ladies my age that train to the extent that I do. It makes me stand out. And being a somewhat shy person, I don't like standing out.

    It is really hurtful when I see the disgusted looks that get thrown my way. The feelings the OP shared....let me say that those feelings are NOT hidden, and we "skinny girls" notice and feel them. And it is hurtful. Because we have sweated blood to get what we have, and most of us would be more than happy to encourage and share information....if you would give us a chance. But most of the time, my smiles don't even get returned.

    I don't say this to sound defensive at all, but rather to say that for me, personally, I go to the gym to work on MY body. When I see less fit individuals in there, I am silently CHEERING for them, because I think ANYONE who gets out of bed and makes an effort to better themselves deserves a round of applause. That's just my two cents worth. :smile:

    Awesome post Allie!!

    I'm not a huge muscular guy, but I am in pretty decent shape these days. Now that I bought my first pair of tri shorts, I will be wearing them when I go swim. They are tight and fitted but I wear them for ME because I need to practice in the equipment I will be wearing on race day. When I ride the bike at the gym on nasty days, I wear bike shorts that are also tight and again, it's for ME. I know I will be on the bike for an hour minimum and, without my bike shorts, my *kitten* would HURT!!

    For people who don't like the "skinny people" at the gym, you are entitled to your opinion. However, many of those people worked their tails off to get their results and don't deserve to be shot dirty looks for being in shape any more than someone deserves a dirty look for being overweight. That actually seems pretty hypocritical to me.

    I'm with Allie; I support and encourage everyone who is at the gym as they are all making good choices to live a healthy life and improve themselves. I hope that everyone can learn to do the same.

    Allie - possibly the best reply I have ever seen here on MFP. Thank you! And I might just have to Friend Request you!

    Also a nice follow up. I'm also a fairly small guy but have worked VERY hard to get in shape and add a little muscle. I do 3 spin classes a week and wear tight bike shorts for that. Plus that room gets SO hot that I usually wear a sleeveless shirt. When I go back out to 'the floor' to finish up with a little core, stretching or a quick mile run I used to feel a bit wierd about my outfit but I got over it. I'm there for me. I agree there are exceptions, but most of those skinny people work hard to be that way and should be motivational.
  • Cella30
    Cella30 Posts: 539 Member
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    I hope you don't mind if I present a little different side to this....:flowerforyou:

    At my tiny, small town YMCA, I AM the skinny girl. At the time of day I go in, there just aren't any other ladies my age that train to the extent that I do. It makes me stand out. And being a somewhat shy person, I don't like standing out.

    It is really hurtful when I see the disgusted looks that get thrown my way. The feelings the OP shared....let me say that those feelings are NOT hidden, and we "skinny girls" notice and feel them. And it is hurtful. Because we have sweated blood to get what we have, and most of us would be more than happy to encourage and share information....if you would give us a chance. But most of the time, my smiles don't even get returned.

    I don't say this to sound defensive at all, but rather to say that for me, personally, I go to the gym to work on MY body. When I see less fit individuals in there, I am silently CHEERING for them, because I think ANYONE who gets out of bed and makes an effort to better themselves deserves a round of applause. That's just my two cents worth. :smile:

    So well said - cheers to you!!! :flowerforyou:

    I'm the fat girl at the gym, and it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it's kind of inspiring. One time at the gym I saw this girl running hard on the treadmill in a spandex sports bra and shorts. With every step she took you could see every muscle in her body contract - I couldn't stop watching her (like a total creeper). She looked like a gazelle, it was so...beautiful. I thought, someday I'm going to look like her when I run...not a jiggly, gasping fool. :laugh: And you better believe, after years of battling my weight and working my @$$ off to finally get to the point where I want to be, I'm going to be showing the whole world what a hot body I have. :drinker: Some day I'm going to be old and wrinkly and everything hanging to my knees so I'm going to flaunt it while I got it, girlfriend!

    Conversely, if I see a larger person on the treadmill walking, all I can think is how amazing they are for trying to change their lifestyle. I am with Allie - I'm celebrating them. It must take everything in them to come there and overcome fears that they may be judged or people will stare. I know, because I am that person at times. And I just want to high five them - yes, one more day closer to victory. Go US!

    Basically it comes down to judging others based on their appearance. It's not right. I urge you to look inside yourself, who are you really uncomfortable with? I used to spend a lot of time always worried about what people thought about me and in the end, what does it matter? I know who I am. I am a strong, beautiful woman with a big heart. I don't need others approval to make me feel better about myself. And once I discovered this, I became a much happier person.

    I challenge you to see those people in a different light. In your mind, cheer them on and praise them for getting to a point that you hope to be someday. Try putting that good karma out there and watch it come back to you. :wink: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSDZCK3PKKw&feature=related


    "Be the person you wish to see in the world" -Ghandi


    *edited because I can't figure out how to get the blasted link to work. #@$^!
  • FitPhysique
    FitPhysique Posts: 284 Member
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    I'm with you. As much as I enjoy my workouts, I still get that pang of jelousy and discouragement when I see the cellulite free bleach blondes with perfect everything at the gym! However, I know that I still look better than some of the other people at the gym and smile to myself. :)

    But you shouldn't be judging anyone! It really shouldn't be about scales or who looks hotter than who... I just find that ridiculous! I know I don't go to the gym to see who's skinnier and who isn't than me... I go because I want to tone my body and feel better about myself, but I do that by working my socks (and *kitten*) off, not by validating my own insecurities by projecting them on to someone else.

    Bump.
  • jackiemarie
    jackiemarie Posts: 111
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    To be honest I never notice other people at the gym lol! Big or small doesn't matter because gym
    time is me time and I'm only focusing on myself !!! Put on my music and zone in on my workout!
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    I don't workout at a gym but I do Taekwondo in a building with many windows on a busy street corner in my town. We wear uniforms so there are no hot people showing off body parts but we are on display. At first it was a little intimidating to think of working out where everyone can see me but now I don't care. I'm in there sweating and working hard and if the people on the other side of the window think I'm ridiculous, well I really don't need their affirmation!

    Besides, I have a wicked roundhouse so I doubt they'll say anything to me. :devil: Maybe they'll even decide that if a middle aged, overweight woman can do it maybe they can too.
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
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    Here is the thing...there are silly people of all shapes and sizes at the gym. There is a woman in one fitness room I use that takes up one of the two treadmills, reads a book and walks very slowly. She walks faster to the locker room and her car an probably burns more calories in her very elloborate bag packing routine than she does o te treadmill. When I am using tat particular room it is because I am seriously strapped for time and the weather stinks so I am hoping to squeeze in an intense running workout...get the most bang for my buck...The notion that this woman wasting time is keeping me from my treadmill but that is only a fleeting moment as it only takes a second for me to rejoice that she is trying to do a good thing for herself. I don't know why she does the workout the way she does.

    There are tons of reasons why she may work out that way. Maybe she really likes to walk and doesn't live in such a nice neighborhood. Maybe she used to run marathons and now has bad knees and/or ankles. There is no way to know and it's actually quite astonishing to me reading the replies in this thread judging skinny people. Most people here are trying to become that skinny person and when you judge skinny people for being skinny you are "attacking" someone for having reached goals that you are trying to reach. It just doesn't make any sense.
    I know how you feel about losing "friends" over weight loss. I have a friend, supposedly one of my best friends, that doesn't want to hear about how I am trying to get healthy. She is jealous because I will be "skinny" and she won't. Instead of being proud of me or even joining me, she just doesn't want me to talk about it in front of her or to her. It's really sad because I thought she was someone I could tell anything too and she has always been so supportive of other things I have done in my life. It really brought me down at first but I just have to realize that it is her problem not mine and I have other real friends that are there for me that I can talk to...and MFP ;)

    I am an honest person and try to be, but sometimes my responses come off as "rude" to the people that don't know me. However, that is never my intent. So with that disclaimer, I really don't like it when people talk to me about what they ate that day or what kind of exercise they did. Unless in a forum type thing like this one, or the topic of the conversation I am having with someone is particularly related to diet/weight loss/exercise, I can't stand it when people tell me about what they've ate, and I will tell them so. I realize that you want your friend to be supportive, and hopefully she is supportive and rooting for you. But just because she doesn't want to talk about it in conversation doesn't mean she is a bad friend.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    I don't workout at a gym but I do Taekwondo in a building with many windows on a busy street corner in my town. We wear uniforms so there are no hot people showing off body parts but we are on display. At first it was a little intimidating to think of working out where everyone can see me but now I don't care. I'm in there sweating and working hard and if the people on the other side of the window think I'm ridiculous, well I really don't need their affirmation!

    Besides, I have a wicked roundhouse so I doubt they'll say anything to me. :devil: Maybe they'll even decide that if a middle aged, overweight woman can do it maybe they can too.

    Nice!
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
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    To be honest I never notice other people at the gym lol! Big or small doesn't matter because gym
    time is me time and I'm only focusing on myself !!! Put on my music and zone in on my workout!

    Lol, I was lifting yesterday and one of my friends walked in and was standing right in front of me, apparently for almost the entire set. I did not notice him at all. Usually I am pretty observant, but I did think it was kind of funny that for that bit of time I just entered my own little world. I major in cognitive psychology and biology so instance was pretty interesting to me. I've read studies about this happening, but it's a lot different when it actually happens to you :).
  • KristaPFT
    KristaPFT Posts: 63
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    I used to feel intimidated as well by those people, but I used it as a motivator to make myself better when I was out of shape. Its the same concept of a skinny person saying an overweight person shouldn't be able to wear a tight dress. I feel that everyone has the right to wear what they want. Look at it in a positive way and let it motivate you to get (or stay) fit :smile: I personally wear a shirt at the gym but I don't knock the girls and guys that like to show what they have earned off :wink:

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