just want to sit down and cry for hours

Options
2»

Replies

  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
    Options
    Do you really want our opinions?
  • misslizz6958
    misslizz6958 Posts: 124 Member
    Options
    she might, I dont ever ask anyones opinion on here to be honest lol.
  • Kessiexo
    Kessiexo Posts: 11
    Options
    It is easier said than done trying to focus on something else other than counting calories and measurments I know. I was at 120 at one point and I knew i was skinny but i stil felt consumed by dieting and calories and what I was eating and EXACTLY how much was in it. It sucks, I know. Surround yourself with people who love and support you, come on MFP and vent when you start stressing out, sometimes a little reassurance goes a long way. Im w you girl, I know how you feel. Keep your head up :)
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Options
    quote:

    "Those 61 calories put me eating over 1000 calories a day on about half of my logging days, something my parents would be thrilled about, and then there is me feeling UPSET?! Blaming those 61 daily calories for my gain?! WTH is wrong with me that I am angry that I was unknowingly eating over 1000 calories a day when I know that it isn't healthy?! "

    quote

    I think you've answered your own question, even though you mock those of us who suggest professional counseling could help you deal with your issues. (And yes, I personally have gone to counseling in the past (although not specifically for weight issues) and I do believe that it is helpful for many people.) You're eating a dangerously low number of calories to keep your body energized for daily activity, and your parents are apparently concerned. You are at a healthy weight for your height, and say that you have a low body fat percentage, and yet you want to be underweight...if you were a personal friend of mine, I would be very concerned about you. I'm sorry that the people in your life don't seem to understand, but perhaps they are concerned like your parents?

    Although your friend who posted on here seems to think we are all jealous because we are not all size 8s (nor do some of us WANT to be, sorry, I'm nearly 5-9 and don't want to be bone skinny, just healthy at this point in my life)...your words above make me think, yes, this could be the prelude to an eating disorder, if you do not have one already. If you don't want opinions from the community here on MFP, don't post on the boards, just email your MFP friends privately.

    I was a college student once, and I agree that the food is not healthy (at least it wasn't when I lived on campus)...someone gave some healthy suggestions for you to try. At least then you know that you are putting healthy fuel into your body.
  • ampjorgensen
    ampjorgensen Posts: 86 Member
    Options
    I have recently had friends ask me "why do you want to lose weight, you look good enough" Or "You just had a baby" and I simply say a few differnet things ONE "My baby turns 1 on the 27th, I just had a baby isn't an excuse anymore" and "I want to look as good as I feel inside" If you lose all the weight that you think will make you happy you are completely right it will not make you happy.

    You need to feel good about who you are, and from the sounds of it your a college student, you need to figure out exactly who that is. I remember I did crazy (in the eyes of those around me) things when I was figuring out who I was. One crazy thing I did was I refused to date or have a boyfriend... I thought to myself... "I don't want to go out and date for recreation. I want a man who is going to stand by me who isn't going to break my heart and I want to deserve him and how can that happen if I am not even happy with me. I know that sounds weird right? but it took the pressure off slightly for looking good.

    Second thing I did was I listed my beliefs on a piece of paper and I wrote down WHY i believed them. If I didn't know it became not a belief but an interest and I explored it further to solidify who I was. I focused on class and me.

    3rd I was completely selfish. I mean don't get me wrong I helped people and was kind still, but If it came down between helping a friend in a study group or ME going to a church function or concert or something... It was me.


    I think its time to eat healthy but focus more on your emotional and spiritual health. I'm not a judgmental person.. by nature I am a lover and nurturer :) its kinda my thing hehe
  • jdedzant
    jdedzant Posts: 34
    Options

    even though you mock those of us who suggest professional counseling could help you deal with your issues. (And yes, I personally have gone to counseling in the past (although not specifically for weight issues) and I do believe that it is helpful for many people.)

    I've been to therapy before as well for non-weight related issues and am a psychology student, so I would never mock someone for suggesting counseling, or post something that is really hard on me just to get attention, or think that anyone is jealous of me or anything like that. I was just further hurt by the people who accused me of posting an April Fool's Day prank because this was the furthest thing from a prank.

    This really has become an every single day battle with myself over food and what I'm eating and the mentality that has been going with it. I just feel like I haven't had the strength yet to honestly admit to a problem and say "this needs to stop" and I'm worried that it will not come along.

    And I truly appreciate everyone on here's concern and support. None of you know me and yet so many have been showing support...
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
    Options
    i can relate
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
    Options
    Now is the time for action or inaction. Which is your choice? You have honestly admitted to having a problem... you did so in your original post. Countless people have offered great suggestions for a plan of action. So what is your next move?
    And to the poster making the "happy being a size 8" comment... this isn't high school or "mean girls" and the original intent of the post was missed... her mindset is not healthy by her own admission and that is the focus of concern for me (and I'm under a size 8, btw).
  • jdedzant
    jdedzant Posts: 34
    Options
    In case anyone was interested, I am making an appointment with my school's psychological services tomorrow morning. Enough people have been seriously concerned about me that I realized it has to stop. I need to get help before I get worse. Thank you everyone; I truly and deeply mean that.
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
    Options
    In case anyone was interested, I am making an appointment with my school's psychological services tomorrow morning. Enough people have been seriously concerned about me that I realized it has to stop. I need to get help before I get worse. Thank you everyone; I truly and deeply mean that.
    I hope you find the strength you need to really love yourself one day :)
  • mandamama
    mandamama Posts: 250
    Options
    I think that is a GREAT Idea, I am just reading this for the first time, and I think what you are saying without saying it, is that you need help. you know you need help. becuase I *think* you know, that once you get to those numbers you are thinking now, at that point, it isn't going to be enough and you are going to want to go further.
    I agree you should live to feel healthy and beautiful. you shoul look at yourself everyday, and tell yourself one thing you think looks great, and leave it at that, walk away from the mirror. It sounds to me as though, you have lost the weight, but never gained the confidence you need to know its enough and its time to stop.
    I wish you the very best of luck, and I hope that seeking counselling helps you fight your demons :)
  • jesster64
    jesster64 Posts: 109
    Options
    You're in college, best 4 years of your life. Enjoy. study, make friends for life, and enjoy being young. The more you stress, the more your eating and weight will be affected.
  • young1726
    young1726 Posts: 347 Member
    Options
    Great! So glad to hear it. Good luck. I hope you they can HELP YOU find the strength you need to move past this. You are beautiful.
  • Sarahr73
    Sarahr73 Posts: 454 Member
    Options
    In case anyone was interested, I am making an appointment with my school's psychological services tomorrow morning. Enough people have been seriously concerned about me that I realized it has to stop. I need to get help before I get worse. Thank you everyone; I truly and deeply mean that.

    I just read this post and I was thinking an eating disorder also. I am glad to see that you are going to talk with someone. Unfortunately, a lot of social media shows women as stick thin but that's not what most men really want. One of my male friends told me once that women should be soft, they shouldn't have bones that stick out like a lot of media shows.
    And when you track food and exercise, it is easy to become obsessed with it. One day your just trying to get to a healthy weight and the next you are constantly thinking about eating less and exercising more.
    I think you look beautiful the way you are now and I wish you the best of luck to be able to see yourself the way your MFP family does :heart:
  • newnormal2010
    newnormal2010 Posts: 61
    Options
    Yay you! I'm so glad you've decided to do this. I sincerely hope that you will find it helpful. If you choose to share how things are going, you'll find lots of supportive interest. But if you want to keep that private, people will respect that, too. I'm very glad that you shared your decision to seek help, though -- I've been thinking about you all weekend! :flowerforyou:
  • NanoReefDiver
    NanoReefDiver Posts: 153
    Options
    I was just thinking about you and this thread again and wanted to wish you the best :heart:
  • loro1971
    loro1971 Posts: 135
    Options
    hi! i came back to this topic to see how you are... thinking about you and hoping you are ok!!!:smile:
  • kiwi_dee
    kiwi_dee Posts: 160 Member
    Options
    In case anyone was interested, I am making an appointment with my school's psychological services tomorrow morning. Enough people have been seriously concerned about me that I realized it has to stop. I need to get help before I get worse. Thank you everyone; I truly and deeply mean that.

    I've just found and read this thread and was really glad to see you post this. All the very best :flowerforyou:
  • believetoachieve
    believetoachieve Posts: 675 Member
    Options
    As a psychology major in university, you should be able to acknowledge that this isn't healthy or safe for yourself. Both your physical and mental body will suffer and you should seek help. A 25" waist on a 5'6 frame is pretty small.
  • _CHRISTIE_
    _CHRISTIE_ Posts: 237 Member
    Options
    If your college, like most, has a counseling center, I strongly urge you to make an appointment with someone there. Your student fees pay for this service, so it's a waste not to use it when it would be useful to you. There will be people there who are to some degree experts in body-image and eating disorders, and I think it could be very, very helpful for you. You are acknowledging that there is a problem and that it is in your own head, so that's a huge step in the right direction. You know you're in a bad place and you want to move on so you can live your life. Excellent! Now just reach out to people who can give you the tools to do that.

    If you have a problem with your plumbing (in your house), you call a plumber. No one expects to be able to fix that sort of thing for themselves. (Some people can, of course, but there isn't an expectation that they *should* be able to.) Somehow, though, when it comes to internal things not working right, we feel it's shameful to seek professional help. It isn't an admission of weakness to do this. It's merely an admission that you don't have the specific skill that you need right now, so you need to work with someone who can teach you that skill. Maybe better than the plumbing analogy would be this: If you want to play the violin, you don't buy one, try to play it, and then give yourself a hard time because you can't get it. You realize that this is a new skill you want to develop, so you take lessons. So think of seeking professional help in terms of "taking lessons" to think differently about your body. Don't worry about the fact that some people were able to pick up this skill without formal lessons. Some people *can* pick up a violin and just start playing. So what? If you can't do that, and you want to play, you take lessons.

    I wish you well with this. Although I'm on MFP trying to lose weight, I understand that your situation is a painful one, and I would never make the mistake of envying you. And, in case you're wondering: Yes, I have gone to a professional counselor, although not for anything to do with my weight. However, working through issues that contributed to my depression got me to a place where I was ready to make good choices for myself and start losing the weight I needed to lose. And, yes, making the decision to seek that help was difficult. But it was *so* the right thing to do!

    I'm glad you shared. Don't feel bad about letting those feelings out. They do less harm out in the open. :flowerforyou:

    I second this! As a counselor by profession I agree completely with this previous poster and this was pretty much what I was going to post to you as well..... I would def. utilize your student services counseling department at your university.... sometimes they have support groups with other individuals who are going through some of the same exact issues you are.... It def. would be worth your while to check into this.... I am so sorry you are going through this... and I also agree with what another poster said about finding activities to make yourself busy, to take your attention and focus off of how many calories you are counting...

    I bet also in your student fitness center there are nutritionists free of charge, I know at the university I went to there was... i would suggest that you do yourself a big favor and do some research as to the resources you have available to you... if it were uncommon or unnatural then there wouldn't be these resources available, but honey you need to get help.... These are very unhealthy behaviors and feelings and all of these feelings you are presenting with are signs of depression and also are associated with eating disorders, as I'm sure you know.... You can work on getting healthy.... and yes that is much much easier said than done... but you can do this! I encourage you to keep on this journey to finding a healthy you, but just make sure you focus on doing it in the right way. You have made a huge step by posting your feelings and venting on here, so let this just be the first of many steps that you make! Good luck!!!

Categories