So frustrated.. I just want to cry...

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EquestrianLark135
EquestrianLark135 Posts: 98 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My mom...or I guess my whole family...is making this whole weight loss thing a lot harder than it already is. :cry: They all think it's ridiculous that I'm trying to lose weight and because of this, they feel the need to contradict every little thing I say about eating healthy and working out. My mom gets mad every time I bring up how I need to go grocery shopping for healthier foods since we have none in this house. And when I tried to tell her about my new work out schedule (made by an awesome member on here- TrainingWithTonya), she pretty much ignored me and it was obvious she could really care less. I finally said to her how I don't understand why she's so mad about me wanting to lose weight and get healthier. I said I'm sick of being a lazy bum and eating the crap that I eat every day. Her response was..."Eating healthy is too expensive" I said that I thought parents WANTED their kids to be healthy and active. Her response..."Eating healthy is too expensive" I had to walk out of the room after that because I just wanted to cry.
Another situation that caused some motivation loss (some of you may have already heard this) The other day I ordered a dress a couple sizes too small so that it could be my "goal dress"- the dress I want to be able to fit into once I lose weight. Well, my mom, my sister, and my sister's friend all told me that there's no way I will ever be able to fit into a dress like that. So...what?...does that mean I'm going to be fat no matter how hard I try? :frown: I'll never be a "smaller" girl???
This would be when I'm glad I have you guys to turn to....my parents are making me lose motivation FAST, and I've barely started this. They take this whole thing as if it's a joke and I'm going to give up after the first week...they don't realize how important this is to me!



*deep breath* Ok. *rant over* :ohwell:
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Replies

  • gameovergt
    gameovergt Posts: 502
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    keep your head up. they should be supporting you, maybe they are afraid you could develop a eating disorder. good luck in your journey & no matter what love yourself.
  • igora_soma
    igora_soma Posts: 486
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    Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that they aren't being supportive. That is really a shame that they don't want to be a part of this great process you're starting.

    I have come up against quite a few people like that myself. Luckily I do have my parents support. Since your mom doesn't want to get the food you need to be healthy, maybe try to make do with what there is in your kitchen? I don't know if you have money to buy fresh veg but that can be relatively inexpensive. You could make some salads to counterbalance the not so healthy stuff.

    Keep working out and keep doing what you're doing! You are already proving that you are a strong person by making a start in an unsupportive environment!!

    Well done!
  • swt228hrt
    swt228hrt Posts: 16
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    Keep going for the reason you started, yourself. I know it gets hard when no one wants to help or even tries to push you away from your goal. Show them wrong.
  • khrys1
    khrys1 Posts: 444 Member
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    Oh, I am so sorry to hear that! I'm glad you are sticking to your goals no matter what they say! Feel free to add me as a friend... I try to be very supportive.
  • ivyann73deleted
    ivyann73deleted Posts: 67
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    I'm so sorry that no one is supporting you. I've been there. You just need to keep in the back of your mind that you're going to prove them wrong and that you're in this for you not them. I'm supporting you! :)
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
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    Keep in mind that you ARE in an unhealthy enviornment and that you are not the problem.

    At your age it's difficult to seperate yourself from toxic family, but don't internalize the madness that they are giving off.

    Keep coming here for your support and if possible try to find some friends outside of this circle that are more encouraging.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    It is really hard when you don't have support at home. You have lots of support here. You haven't said how t all you are, but your weight goal did not look out line to me (unless you are 6 ft 2 in). Hang in there and do the best you can with what you have.
  • qtpiesmom
    qtpiesmom Posts: 394 Member
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    PROVE THEM WRONG!!! Im sorry that you dont have the support of your friends and family BUT your not doing it for them your doing it for YOU!! Your the one that has to do the work, Your the one that has to feel comfortable in your own skin, YOU are the one that has to decide what goes into your body. YOU ARE GOING TO BE FIT, HEALTHY AND HAPPY, DONT ALLOW ANYTHING to STAND IN YOUR WAY!!
    BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
    They may not believe that your going to be able to do this DIET thing. BUT its not a diet your changing your life, your changing your body but most important your changing your mindset and soul.
    KEEP ON GOING!!
    LAUGH SMILE AND FIND JOY IN KNOWING YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD

    YOU!!!
  • Achoooo
    Achoooo Posts: 130
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    I'm sorry they are being so hard on you for it. Maybe they are jealous because they think you will do it and they want to, but they don't want to do anything about it and just accept being unhealthy. I would really want to show them, if I were you. Don't let them get to you, use it to fuel your fire and show them that you CAN fit in that dress. I know you can do it, good luck :)
  • Jenni268
    Jenni268 Posts: 202 Member
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    Is there any chance that this is related to the fact that you're 18 and about to graduate from HS? Could all of this added to your quest to lose weight make it seem like you're being too independent? Some parents have a VERY hard time adjusting to their kids growing up, learning to live without them, and branching out on their own. Maybe your mom sees all of this together as her losing control of you.

    No matter the reasoning, I am so sorry this is happening to you. You are right when you asked her about parents wanting their children to be healhty. That's my biggest prayer in the life of my children. Just keep plugging on, knowing that you are doing what is right for you, your body, your health and your future. Maybe use all of the criticism and negative as fodder for motivation. Wanting to show them up and prove them wrong can really help fuel your workouts and help you overcome and food temptations.

    Remember that no matter what, your MFP family is loving and supportive and EXCITED that you're taking gainful steps to healthier living!
  • krystleRD
    krystleRD Posts: 188 Member
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    Im going to write u personally..
  • areiger
    areiger Posts: 4 Member
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    You are in a very tough situation. I would give you the advice of distancing yourself from people that demotivate you but this is your family, and I hold family above all else. One idea that that I can think of is to discontinue talking to them about your weight loss goals. If you can find a group of friends maybe at the gym, at work or anywhere for that matter that you could discuss your goals with and they would be supportive would be a way to get the emotional support that would help you. Buying a goal dress is actually a great idea as long as your goal is realistic.

    Everyone should have some short term goals and ultimately a long term goals. I have used clothes as my goal as well. I used to wear a size 50 pant! my ultimate goal is anything below 40. I hope you don't lose heart with everything that is going on at home. I have seen that the people on this and other weight loss sites are generally very supportive.

    I wish you well and am very proud of you that you are sticking with your transformation. (Even though I have no clue who you are LOL) If you would like add me as a friend and keep me posted.
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
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    At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. No one else matters. Be selfish about this. If they're not supportive who cares? Prove them wrong! It's rude and annoying that they won't support you like they should, but do it for YOU. Use this as motivation rather than discouragement! They say you won't fit? Fit into a size smaller! Turn around what they say and use it as motivation. You CAN do it.
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    I sympathize with you. This is a very tough journey when you are in control of your circumstances and its got to be tougher when you aren't (like trying to get mom to buy healthy for you).

    You have to stay strong and keep doing what you're doing. Stick to your workouts, eat as healthy as possible. You're doing this for you, no one else so it doesn't matter what they think/say. However, if you show them your dedication and committment to changing your lifestyle, I'm guessing eventually they will get more supportive. That happened with a couple of my family members. They're not going to go to the gym with me and still occassionally push the cheesecake at family parties but at the very least they don't make the snide comments anymore and even have complimented me on what I have acheived.

    Hang in there - YOU and your future are so worth the challenge and ensuing success!
  • new_me_9_67
    new_me_9_67 Posts: 369 Member
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    Please don't give up. It's been my experience that when others around you are seeing you make a change and they're affraid to try it they will sabotage or try to discourage you every chance they get.

    Stick with it and as hard as it might be try to not bring it up with them. maybe when they see you make progress thet will get inspired to make a change themselves.

    As far as the dress goes I know you can do it. I bought a pair of pants that was one size smaller than what i normally wore and it was purely on accident. well just last week I decided to try them on since my old ones were fitting very lose, happy to report that they fit and now those are actually fitting loosely. I am gonna wait a while before I buy any new clothes but I wil be buying a new belt tonite.

    You are on the right path. if you need any more friends on here feel free to add me.
    And I hope to be reading about your success story here soon.

    best of luck
  • kathleenmccool
    kathleenmccool Posts: 2
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    I feel like people act that way when they feel jealous or envious. I think that the people in your family probably feel like they, too, should start being healthier, but they don't have the courage or motivation to begin the process. Now that they see you doing it, your courage and success is probably making them feel bad about themselves. If you just push through it then you could end up being the motivation they needed to make themselves healthy!

    My sister made fun of me when I first started loosing weight. But now that I have done it she is the one coming to me for advice!
  • ejmcam
    ejmcam Posts: 533 Member
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    oh honey, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! But just remember your reason for doing this is for a healthier you!!!!! and don't worry about what they say. Easier said than done, no doubt. Are your mom and sister over weight? Because if they are, seeing you trying to make a change may make them feel a little bad about themselves and that is the way they are taking it out. What you are doing is a GREAT thing and you should never let them make you feel discouraged. If you ever do, pop on here, and we will all be right behind you with LOTS of reassurance! Chin up girl!
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
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    Maybe your mom feels like you are being critical of her as a mother by saying there's nothing healthy in the house to eat or if she feels guilty that you blame her for being unhealthy, so I would take a different tact with her and if do some research on cheap healthy meals, or some ingrediants you would like to have around the house, or offer to cook dinner for the family, clip coupons or something along those lines.
    I think it's great that you have goals but I wouldn't suggest ordering a dress two sizes too small-heck it might even be too big by the time you want to wear it:happy: I would just get a dress that fits closer to the occassion it's needed.
    try not to let your family discourage you, it's easy to blame them when your motivation flags but you have to take that as a challenge and prove them wrong (like someone else said).
  • sehncw99
    sehncw99 Posts: 73
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    Keep your head up girl! who cares what they think, granted they are your family you can do this and you will be so happy and they will get used to the idea and support you i hope! i agree with the other post maybe they are worried that you will develop and eating disorder or maybe they just don't think you need to lose weight, but you should be able to make your own choices and be happy thats all that matters. don't give up because they are not with you on this, you have all these great people on this site to help you thru it
  • sanura
    sanura Posts: 459 Member
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    unfortunately you can't change other people. i 'm sorry you are not finding support with your family, maybe they feel threatened because they know they aren't taking care of themselves too, maybe your mom feels guilty because she has not provided healthy food, whatever the reason, you need to find other sources of support (like us on mfp)
    join a fitness class and get to know some of the participants
    join a sports team, walking/running club
    take dance classes, cooking classes etc
    basically get out there and meet people with similar goals and interests.
    good luck!!!

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