So frustrated.. I just want to cry...

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245

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  • Vicky14174
    Vicky14174 Posts: 715 Member
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    I hate to say this to you because I'm sure you love your Mom and your family but they need to shut the #$%& up!!!!!! Ask you Mom if she had rather eat healthier food or pay for your funeral because you clogged up your arteries?

    You need to just do what is right for you and don't try to please any one else. And the dress thing, I went shopping this weekend because I had no pants that fit properly now and bought a size that was a little more snug that I wish they were but I plan on losing a lot more weight and money doesn't grow on trees.

    You just keep doing what you are doing and I'll tell you right now that I'm very proud of you for wanting to live a healthier life and change your body to a happier and healthier one.

    I'm be your Mom if you'd like and I'll be cheering for you all the way.

    Vicky
  • grumpyswife123
    grumpyswife123 Posts: 42
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    Unfortunately, this is one of the many challenges we have when trying to lose weight. People around us are not supportive. I have a difficult situation at home too. My husband is all for my losing weight, but in the evenings here come the cookies and candy bars. He knows I can't resist but offers me some anyways:grumble: . Just try to stay strong and keep doing what you need to do. Frustrating as it may be, show them all that you can do it, feel great and look great!
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    I'm sorry, that has to be tough. I'm sure it has to be harder when you aren't the one buying the groceries, but eating healthy really isn't more expensive. I am spending the same amount of money that I did before. Junk food and drinks can add up and as soon as I cut them out and just got healthy food it worked out to the same amount. Some affordable options are frozen veggies instead of fresh ones, tuna is cheap, ground turkey isn't much more than beef, the store brand light bread is only .25 more than regular bread, low sodium lunch meat is usually the same price as regular. Also just eating smaller portions than you are used to can dramatically reduce your calorie intake.

    And no, you won't be fat no matter how hard you try! It does take hard work to lose weight, but it sounds like you are motivated to do it, just keep at it and you will get there. :smile:
  • beyondfitnessSF
    beyondfitnessSF Posts: 2
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    keep pushing through- you know in your heart you're doing the right thing, and you're doing it for you. Sometimes people don't know how to react to change, especially when a big part of someones life is revolved around food, etc.

    Dont worry, you will reach your goal :)
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    PROVE THEM WRONG!!! Im sorry that you dont have the support of your friends and family BUT your not doing it for them your doing it for YOU!! Your the one that has to do the work, Your the one that has to feel comfortable in your own skin, YOU are the one that has to decide what goes into your body. YOU ARE GOING TO BE FIT, HEALTHY AND HAPPY, DONT ALLOW ANYTHING to STAND IN YOUR WAY!!
    BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
    They may not believe that your going to be able to do this DIET thing. BUT its not a diet your changing your life, your changing your body but most important your changing your mindset and soul.
    KEEP ON GOING!!
    LAUGH SMILE AND FIND JOY IN KNOWING YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD

    YOU!!!

    GOOD ADVICE!
  • bachooka
    bachooka Posts: 719 Member
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    If you show your family that you are commited by trying to eat healthy portion sizes of what they already make, maybe they will be willing to invest a little more into your journey. You could also try to maybe babysit or get a parttime job so you can purchase some of your own healthy food choices?
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    some one posted a topic earlier about the myths of why people give up on losing weight. One of them was it's too expensive to eat healthy....

    I think that you wanting to lose 20 lbs isn't a hard goal. Maybe the inches will get you into that dress before the weight.

    Maybe you should schedule a sit down with your Mom and talk with her about it. Maybe if you have a list of why it's important to you to do the workout/eat healthy thing she'll take you more seriously. Do some homework with the food ads and ask her for $20 a week for "healthy" foods, like fruits and veggies that you'd like to keep in the house to help keep you on track and also ask if you gave her a shopping list each week and you'd cook one dinner that is something that you'd like to try/or that you like that would be healthy for dinner you could cook it for the whole family.

    I think that you're just going to have to tell her that you love her and get that she's concerned, but it's important for you to try to get healthy. Ask her to back you up for a month and then go from there. Tell her it's important to you that you have her support.

    Well that's what I would suggest. :) Good luck.

    I love it that my 16 yr. old has started joining me at the gym a couple times a week and my family doesn't really complain about the food either.....
  • royam01
    royam01 Posts: 123
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    Keep it up no matter what they say. Prove them wrong if it helps to motivate you! That is what I am doing :) I have complained about my weight all of my adult life (sometimes when I had no reason to, and I could kick myself now for putting myself down so often!) Now I am doing it for me, and to make everyone see that I do have the motivation, drive and endurance to keep up with a healthy lifestyle. I am finally starting to feel happy with myself and its only been 3 months :) You can do it! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
  • juliapurpletoes
    juliapurpletoes Posts: 951 Member
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    So, so sorry! It's just a shame you can't have them 'on your side' and feel their support. It seems that they are coming from some point of fear. Of what I wouldn't know.....

    Go through that kitchen of yours during some quiet moments and really take stock of what you have that perhaps you could create a dish for yourself and enough to share? I owuldn't make any more big deals about it with the family.

    Be diligient and perhaps reduce the portions that others fix to suit your calorie goals. And continue those workouts. Remember life and your fitness are ust unfolding, and journeys take many twists and turns. Just know this is all just plot points in your persoanl story but not the end of it.

    But most of all love yourself. Be good to yourself. Work on building up some emotional boundaries and keep asking your friends here for support and help.

    You are worth it to be sure!! :flowerforyou:
  • Raynamama
    Raynamama Posts: 480 Member
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    This is why it is so great that MFP exists, it is heartbreaking to hear that unfortunately it seems you can't count on your family for support - but at least you know you can get positive motivation and support here. You can do this, granted you have a challenge in that your kitchen is not your own and you will probably have to work that much harder to find things that are healthy that you can eat but don't let it stop you! Look at it as a challenge, and just think how rewarding it will be when you reach your goals - you definitely will have earned it! =) Keep strong and keep posting your feelings and draw on the positive energy and support of the wonderful people on MFP. Don't give up, who knows...through your example and hard work you may inspire your family and change their minds :)

    All the best! Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • AngelicaDulas
    AngelicaDulas Posts: 196
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    Your mom is so wrong!! I spend WAYYYY WAY WAY WAYYYYYY less money (almost $200 less a month) now that I eat healthy. I eat fresh foods instead of processed packaged stuff, I'm not wasting money on chips, cookies, soda etc and I get full and physically eat less on the higher quality foods that I do eat. :( i'm sorry for you. Do you have even a part time job that you can afford to buy some of your own food? I think that you should ask your family to not do/say ANYTHING to you about it if they don't have anything nice or encouraging to say. They are threatened by you succeeding. Are they overweight or out of shape too? Once they see you making progress and not giving up, maybe their eyes will open... good luck.
  • faerybun
    faerybun Posts: 65
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    Baby girl i'm going through just about the same thing, except my family isn't worried about the cost as much as they are jealous... It's so hard not to have support from the people that are closest to you, I know.

    But MFP (And Tumblr) have an amazing web of people that will be incredibly supportive.

    I was always a 'big girl' too, but no more! With some determination and hard work you can be any size or weight you want. :)

    Don't let them discourage you!

    Keep an eye out in the Sunday papers for healthy foods that are '2 for 1' or something like that. The other day our market had avocados for $.50!
  • VictorinoDennis
    VictorinoDennis Posts: 100
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    Eating healthy is not expensive. If your mom would stop buying junk she could spend that money on healthier snacks and help your family at the same time. I thoughtthe same thing before I cut out all junk. My kids werent happy but now they have more energy.( which is ok sometimes) but I ask her to give it a try. Good Luck
  • gemco
    gemco Posts: 129
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    it's hard when you aren't getting any support. are your parents overweight themselves? I think some people can rebel against it because they take it as a criticism of them, rather than being about you. They're wrong to act that way of course, but it is because they're maybe in denial about their own weight. Also they might not want you to be successful because that would contrast against them NO tackling it. Try and use it as a 'well I'll show you!' motivator? You can't make people support you so you have to be your own cheer squad. Good luck with the dress!
  • abbeylolee
    abbeylolee Posts: 4
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    You are worth every second you spend defending yourself, excercising, eating healthy, and feeling good about yourself. You should be SO SO proud that you are motivated enough to get healthy and lose weight. If you lose the weight now and start to see results, adopt some healthy eating habits, you will be SO much happier in college, or wherever you go.

    It's sad your parents think eating healthy is too expenseive, because later in life, all those hospital bills that will accumulate from diabetes, cancer, obesity are REALLY going to add up. Cost benefit. You are RIGHT to start eating healthy. For me, healthy food is a priority and I spend less money on clothes and shoes (as hard as that is!), but it makes such a difference when I feed my body good whole food. I feel mentally and physically well.

    Good luck, good luck, good luck. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS! You are WORTH IT!
  • Coyla
    Coyla Posts: 444 Member
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    I'm on a very strict grocery budget, but I can still eat healthy- not the whole, organic foods a lot of people here promote. I can't afford that. But I search for frozen vegetables, fresh produce on sale, and whole wheat options.

    It IS possible to eat well on a budget.

    However, maybe the problem with your family is that you're making a big deal of this. I've known some younger people to use weight loss as a means of getting attention. It's silly to assume that's your motive, but think of it from their perspective. Suddenly your weight loss is all you care about, and it could be drowning everything else out. (I'm guilty of this myself.)

    Also, maybe they feel guilty because they're not jumping on board, and when you bring it up, they feel like you're rubbing it in. That's not what you're doing, but it feels like that to them. If you could somehow try to get them excited about it, so they do it WITH you, it would be great! (I don't have a magic wand to make this happen, of course.)

    Another thing: when you complain about how unhealthy the foods are, in essence, you're insulting your mom's ability to buy good food. To her, it's like you're saying she's a bad mom. As the head grocery shopper of my house, I really take it to heart when people question my ability to shop for good food. I know that's not what you mean, but that's what she feels. And feelings aren't always connected to logic.

    I'm playing devil's advocate a bit to provide perspective, I hope.

    And you'll definitely get into that dress! :)
  • daylilies
    daylilies Posts: 92
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    I just got a pamphlet from my new personal trainer and one of the things she says is "You don't need motivation to do something, you need determination." in other words you can't rely on other people to get you through this, it has to come from within you. That really changed my perspective and I hope it helps you too. I'm sorry your mom isn't supportive. It sounds like she might be resistant to your changes because she's jealous.
  • stanvoodoo
    stanvoodoo Posts: 1,023 Member
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    Be strong and don't lter others even family get you down. You are doing the right thing and yeah eating better does sometimes cost more but living better and longer is well worth it.

    They may come around you never know and maybe you should get your own little fridge if it bothers them and don't make it a topic of conversation, just smile and know you are doing what is best for you and your body.

    Congrats, keep it up, we are all here for you and we all believe in you!
  • ShannonE1978
    ShannonE1978 Posts: 13 Member
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    OMG! Do not let THEM get YOU down. Your journey is exactly what it is, YOURS. I don't know your whole situation but I have found that sometimes people who struggle with their own weight try to bring down other people who are trying to make a go at it. Other out of shape people just don't want to hear about your success, they want you to be the one worse than they are. Focus on yourself only. If you want different food, go get it for yourself. Maybe get a small refrigerator for your room that you bought. Maybe your mother is worried you will ask her to buy these things. If you really want to show them you are serious, do it for yourself. If they continue regardless of you asking their opinion, just offer this well known phrase to shut them up: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Be strong, I wish you the best! :)
  • missy1970eb
    missy1970eb Posts: 1,209 Member
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    come on dont give up, u got us 2 support u:flowerforyou:

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