So frustrated.. I just want to cry...

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135

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  • AquaAura
    AquaAura Posts: 105
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    Ignorance is blind ..... You obviously know better there aint no shame in wanting to be healthy. Big ups to you and when you succeed and you will !!! you'll be a shinning example of what is possible. Teach by example. And at the end of the day it does not matter what anyone else thinks about you as long as you are happy with yourself and the person you want to be.

    You can achieve anything you want to if you want it bad enough ! (so I tell myself every day :P)

    We're all here to support you and there are thousands of us out there who are trying to be healthier too !! so don't ever feel like you're alone.
  • enygmatic1
    enygmatic1 Posts: 44 Member
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    Hey I know it's easier said than done because all I ever heard growing up was how "I can't..." or how disappointing I was, or fat, etc...the reason behind getting healthier and living to our fullest potential in life needs to be our only movation and driving force because others will let us down. Either they fear what they don't know, or are turning a blind eye because they aren't happy. You know that saying misery loves company? It applies to the one's we love the most and because you're on a path to being a healthier, happier you it may be making your family scared because they don't know any other way and eating healthy pans out to being cheaper if you consider the medical benefits on top of everything else. I struggle everyday and every meal and sometimes it feels hopeless but I have hope and that hope keeps me going. Don't give up, don't give in, keep fighting and maybe, who knows, you can change you're families minds!!! You'll always have us kid!!
  • christmre
    christmre Posts: 109 Member
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    So sorry you aren't getting any support at home, that sucks. Don't let them get you down, you can keep up the exercise and eat healthier. Do it for you, not them. I think it's a great idea to have a goal outfit, I have one and it's keeping me motivated! :happy:
  • lisy28
    lisy28 Posts: 156 Member
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    This would be my motivation do it to PROOVE THEM WRONG!!!!!!!

    When you get down in sizes and fit in to that dress FLAUNT IT GIRL no need to say i told you so just dance you little butt off in the nice small dress in front of them he he he
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    Is your mother genuinely concerned about the cost of healthy eating? Or is she feeling threatened and perhaps a bit ashamed that she hasn't been able to look after her family properly? I'm sure you already know that eating sensibly doesn't have to be expensive, perhaps you could offer to take over the shopping and cooking for a week and show them that healthy food can actually be enjoyable?

    The good news is that you're leaving home soon, so you won't have to put up with this sort of attitude any longer. :)
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Wow, I am so sad to hear that you are getting an utter lack of support from your parents and home life.
    You are right though, you can always turn to this amazing and vast community of people for quality support. Everyone here is on some type of journey, whether it is to lose weight or gain muscle or whatever, we all know what it means to work hard, eat right and be the people we want to be. Just keep posting and working hard. In the end, you will have the last laugh. illegitimi non carborundum!!
  • jerseygirlmaggie
    jerseygirlmaggie Posts: 165 Member
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    When I read your post, my first thought was "You need to remember you are doing this for you, not for them!!!"

    If they choose not to support you, then spend as little time discussing this with them as possible. Surround yourself with people (this board, friends, etc) who will support you.

    I think your personal quote speaks volumes! "It comes down to a simple question: what do you want out of life, and what are you willing to do to get it?" Live that....
  • grumpy2032
    grumpy2032 Posts: 92 Member
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    I know how hard it is with no support .My family likes to feed me .Icecream , pizza , candy, I have learned to say no thank you I am making better choices.Its hard at first but it can be done. You just keep going and they will see you mean it Then they may come arround.You can always come to us for the support you need !!!!!:bigsmile:
  • abra526
    abra526 Posts: 213 Member
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    Stay strong, girl. I think all of us have those people in our lives that are "de-motivators" but unfortunately for you, it is people that are supposed to be the most supportive and closest. Remember you are doing this for YOU. No one else. The fact that you are here is a great first step, and it seems that you have it straight about what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Good luck, and hopefully they will come around! Feel free to add me as a friend
  • PrincessLacey
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    Okay first I know exactly how you feel.
    My mom was at first unsupportive because I'd done this whole weight loss thing before and gave up,and gained it back.
    After a few months she became supportive but then I started exercise (30DS) and she's totally unsupportive like,"you don't need to exercise everyday like that"
    Now she cool for the diet but ehhh for the exercise I think she finds it annoying but she doesn't understand that it makes me feel well good about myself and I feel stronger and beginning to love my legs :bigsmile:
    Be patient I believe your mom will get there and your sister's best friend you know what i know?screw her!!I am 188 pounds my niece and my mind always said ,"you'll never be below 200 pounds trust me" all my life I've had this stuck in my head finally one day I said,"eff this"
    Just watch what you eat,exercise and the most important thing?PROVE THEM WRONG!
    You can do this,I believe that you can :flowerforyou:
    Don't stop believing! lol :laugh:
  • rockabillydarlin
    rockabillydarlin Posts: 244 Member
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    Keep going and prove them wrong! I think YOU know you can do it, and WE know you can do it... so DO IT GIRL! They'll be eating their words when you're rocking that dress. :) Don't give up. Keep going!
  • clothes_of_sand
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    Wow, that's really harsh. Is your mom overweight? Because sometimes people don't want those close to them to lose weight because it means they have to look at themselves differently. Also, it doesn't have to be expensive to eat healthy.

    For vegetables, eat canned. They're not quite as healthy as fresh or frozen, but they're cheaper, still healthy (especially if you get the low sodium ones), and low in calories. Also, canned fruit in 100% juice or even light syrup is a good, cheap alternative to fresh fruit -- again, not *quite* as healthy, but still healthy, low cal, and cheap. Bag salad, homemade soups, and rice can be your best friends (just watch how much rice you eat -- it's cheap but the calories can stack up quick). Also, clip coupons, look for sales, and if you shop at grocery stores, make sure you take advantage of the store card they often give for free. It is hard to eat healthy on a budget, but you can -- I'm in college, with limited fridge space and limited money, so I have to do the same. Maybe you can ask your mom for the portion of the food money that would have been spent on you, so that you can spend it yourself?

    Either way, we're all here backing you up. Don't let them tear your motivation down :smile:
  • rklein88
    rklein88 Posts: 71 Member
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    similar (kinda) situation happened to me, but not in such a disappointing way. My roommate (5'10" female weighing 310lbs) told me that with my "a** and thighs" i would "never be able to get to that weight" when I told her my goal is 150 (i'm 5'9" and 171). needless to say, i was livid. Now i hear her saying that in my head every time i get up and every time i work out or weigh myself. When I reach my goal, she will hear about it. It's hard to get mad like this at family, but I hope you can use their words as motivation, I know that's how I'll use her comments. GOOD LUCK!

    you can do this, you don't need anyone but the support on here :)
  • givprayz
    givprayz Posts: 328
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    I'm sorry, that has to be tough. I'm sure it has to be harder when you aren't the one buying the groceries, but eating healthy really isn't more expensive. I am spending the same amount of money that I did before. Junk food and drinks can add up and as soon as I cut them out and just got healthy food it worked out to the same amount. Some affordable options are frozen veggies instead of fresh ones, tuna is cheap, ground turkey isn't much more than beef, the store brand light bread is only .25 more than regular bread, low sodium lunch meat is usually the same price as regular. Also just eating smaller portions than you are used to can dramatically reduce your calorie intake.

    And no, you won't be fat no matter how hard you try! It does take hard work to lose weight, but it sounds like you are motivated to do it, just keep at it and you will get there. :smile:


    I totally agree!. I also think the poster that recommended helping with grocery shopping and cooking has the right idea. Try some Hungry Girl recipes that mimic higher-calorie regular foods. Use lots of frozen fruits and vegetables, because they are less expensive and often more nutritious than fresh. Try lower fat versions of things like milk, cheese, even ice cream. Read nutrition labels of things in the house already and see where you can use something already available to make a better meal, like I add a bag of frozen vegetables into one of those frozen skillet meals to make it stretch farther as well as improve its nutrition value. There's always plenty of sauce in them to stretch. I used to do something like that with hamburger helper, by adding whole grain pasta or noodles to what comes in the package.

    Making a simple but specific request often works better than blanket statements. Asking to buy several bags of frozen vegetables to add to family dinners might be better received than "everything you buy is unhealthy." If you have an Aldi in your town, try showing your mom the price per serving of boneless, skinless chicken versus the breaded stuff, it's a much better deal, and can be used for so many more things. Frozen vegetables are also cheaper than boxed side-dishes. If all else fails, use your own money to buy the higher quality foods, cook them in delicious ways, and maybe your family will start asking to have what you're having.
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
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    WOW!that`s ashamed that the people who are suppose to be there for you aren`t.Don`t let them get in your way to get healthy.Find the support from your friends on this website.People here are all here for the same thing.To be healthy.Don`t let them get you down.You are so worth it.
    Good luck!!
    jane:flowerforyou:
  • AngelsKisses75
    AngelsKisses75 Posts: 595 Member
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    Could it be that your mother is afraid she cannot provide healthier meals for you, that eating healthy would cost a lot more money? Maybe like another poster mentioned maybe there is a fear that you are doing something the opposite of healthy and creating something of an eating disorder?

    I say you are fighting the good fight here. Maybe if you can show her a healthy meal that is also cost effective she will start seeing things can be good, healthy, and not as expensive as it may seem. Plan a meal, and maybe even fix the meal for the family? Also it might help to let them know you don't expect them to change anything, but to understand and be supportive of your changes?

    Just a few ideas I had. *hugs* I hope this gets easier for you.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
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    Sometimes when you are working so hard to better yourself, it only highlights what the people around you have to improve. Having said that too bad. don't let them get you down! My mother has been after me about my weight since I hit puberty. She was the one who made constant comments about my weight and then asked me to go get ice cream. Last year, I was on MFP and lost 25 pounds before anyone noticed or said anything. Do it for yourself and don't worry about anyone else!!
  • craft338
    craft338 Posts: 870 Member
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    my mom won't get healthy food cuz she says it's too expensive too. now i do all my own shopping and have my own shelf in the fridge. yesterday i asked if i could put a stationary bike in the living room, so if i'm gonna watch tv, i could at least be moving while watching...but it would "look bad and scratch the wood floor". my dad said that it would just be "another junk in the house" because he doesn't think i would actually use it. but screw that. i'll get one anyway and put it in my room and watch tv in there. i figured we could still watch our family shows together, but i guess i'll just stay up in my room and take care of myself.

    you have to find ways around your family with these things. sometimes parents can be closed minded and kinda old school, but u just gotta do what you gotta do. good luck with everything!!!
  • rwarren2
    rwarren2 Posts: 25
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    I'm sorry to hear about the lack of support; I think that's what makes this site so special - the people here are absolutely wonderful, never stop trying to attain your goal, you only fail when you give up.
  • beastmode_kitty
    beastmode_kitty Posts: 844 Member
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    Do it for yourself despite what your parents say! You always will have the people on MFP supporting you! In fact with what your mom had to say should motivate you even more to prove her wrong!

    My mom said to me when I first applied to be a City Bus Driver that she didn't think I would make it or even stick to it. I've been at my bus driving job for 4 1/2 years and proved her wrong! She ate those words and apologized.

    I think the same could apply here. So do it for yourself, and prove it to your family that you can and you will do it!