Back Off My Ana/Mia Friends

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DarkAngel864
DarkAngel864 Posts: 229 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello, my MFP world. You know if must be somewhat important for me to start a topic on the boards and you would assume right. I am a recovering anorexic AND bulimic (ANA/MIA). For that reason, I know many people on this site who are either currently or recovering from EDs. I am seeing over and over how people are posting terrible things on their blogs/walls ect. about their weight. Finally, I received some PMs lately from random strangers saying they were 'disgusted' that I was pro-ED.

For the record, I do not condone EDs at all. I do not encourage those diets, nor do I practice them. However, I will stand up and defend my friends fiercely. When you are suffering, you KNOW the risks and trust me, you are beating yourself up enough. You don't need other people to assist you.

I suggest that when adding friends, take a look at their goals, forum posts, diaries, and friends. If you cannot be supportive of someone who is ANA/MIA or in recovery, do not add them. In addition, if you feel this way, you sure as HELL don't need to PM me and tell me not to be, either.

Thank you for your time. :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    what is ED?
  • DarkAngel864
    DarkAngel864 Posts: 229 Member
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    what is ED?

    Eating disorder, sorry bout that!
  • ashleynicoleb
    ashleynicoleb Posts: 376 Member
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    Well said :flowerforyou:
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
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    People will have their opinions. A big part of this site is holding people accountable not babying them. Sorry but that's the truth.
  • Twylyght
    Twylyght Posts: 224 Member
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    I love this post! I also have had to recover from Anorexia and it is hard!! People who have not been there just don't understand. Something changes in you forever, no matter how much time passes! We are all here for different reasons, and that should not stop us from all supporting one another no matter what the goal is!!
  • DarkAngel864
    DarkAngel864 Posts: 229 Member
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    People will have their opinions. A big part of this site is holding people accountable not babying them. Sorry but that's the truth.

    I'm not at all suggestion babying them. Just to realize people have different goals. Some people are trying to GAIN weight and get out of the cycle. They may only eat 400 cals but that is 400 more than they've eaten in one day in a long time, if that makes sense.
  • AllyS7
    AllyS7 Posts: 480 Member
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    I appreciate you posting this.

    I'm not sure I could offer proper support to those members who suffer from a ED, because of my lack of knowledge and understanding of the physical and mental aspects of the disease. However, I do applaud you standing up for what you believe is right.
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
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    How do you feel about the new "Ana" clothing line (I think it's Penney's) that, instead of mannequins, uses line drawings of very, very unrealistically thin women as part of the displays?

    It's either genius or a sign of a disconnect. (Similar to why threats of "teabagging" the government made people snicker at the Tea Party movement)
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    I received some PMs lately from random strangers saying they were 'disgusted' that I was pro-ED.

    If you are receiving messages from random users slamming you then you really should contact Mike or Al. That behaviour will not be tolerated

    If you still have these messages in your inbox I would suggest that you still report them.
  • ebkins7
    ebkins7 Posts: 427 Member
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    I have to say that I really love this post!

    Eating disorders are extremely hard to overcome, I know becuase I'm trying very hard not to return to my bulimic ways. TRUST me when I say that we know we have an issue... we KNOW that it's harmful and it could kill us. But to have the mental capacity to overcome what your mind is telling you to do... is H-A-R-D!!!

    Just as we shouldn't "baby" people, as one person said. We can still have sympathy and compassion for that person and thier struggles. You don't know exactly what another person is going through! At least have the human decency to be respectful. Take a look from their persepective for a minute before you critisize!!!

    Thanks for the post!
  • SoFLYFireman
    SoFLYFireman Posts: 170 Member
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    I think this is the best topic i've seen on here in a really long time :) You're awesome
  • Septembergirl23
    Septembergirl23 Posts: 106 Member
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    Eating disorders go both ways.

    I was ANA and even though I am completely opposite now, I find myself falling into the same ways to lose weight. I have to be very careful not to starve myself. The mind games will always be there though.

    What some people need to understand is as much as they love food, I loathe it. I mean that from the bottom of my stomach. I hate to eat. Which is why under extreme stress, my eating habits went from not eating at all to eating whatever tasted good, even if it wasn't good for me.

    ED is just like any other addiction. There are people who are addicted to food. Who need that food to feel better about themselves or their situation. Being anorexic is just the opposite. You stop eating and you deny yourself food because it makes you feel better even though you are damaging your body. The bottom line is, you have to learn to heal yourself from the inside out. MFP isn't just about losing weight. It is about learning to eat and exercise correctly.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    People will have their opinions. A big part of this site is holding people accountable not babying them. Sorry but that's the truth.

    I really hope you did not mean this as it comes off. The OP is not saying ANYTHING about "babying" anyone, she is stating, that you should not friend someone with ED if you can not support them and accept them for who they are. There is a HUGE freaking difference between supporting and helping someone and "babying" them. Someone with an eating disorder is not looking to have their hand held, they just want support like the rest of us here! Support is part of the mfp way but is is also part of EVERY recovery.
  • tatwood106
    tatwood106 Posts: 23
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    "Judge no one until you have walked a mile in their shoes."
    What a great world it would be if more people could just put this simple phrase into practice in their lives
    Live your life, no one else can do it for you, so their opinions are just that opinions.
  • JWALL101
    JWALL101 Posts: 60
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    I've got your back friend.
  • Evarell
    Evarell Posts: 143 Member
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    [. . . .] MFP isn't just about losing weight. It is about learning to eat and exercise correctly.

    Amen!
  • misspenny762
    misspenny762 Posts: 279 Member
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    Thank you SO much for posting this. My calorie goals are hidden because they are under what is "healthy", however I have to FORCE myself to eat that much food because it's more than I usually eat and my body and mind just aren't used to it at all.

    To whoever made the "babying" comment, that's rather rude. I'm assuming you have no experience with eating disorders so you have no idea what is psychologically going on and are not in a place to make judgments nor offer advice. You also are not a doctor. Many people may have lower-than-healthy food goals but are on a prescribed plan to build up to a normal amount of food over time. If you don't know, don't meddle.
  • andreamichelle82
    andreamichelle82 Posts: 324 Member
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    People will have their opinions. A big part of this site is holding people accountable not babying them. Sorry but that's the truth.

    I really hope you did not mean this as it comes off. The OP is not saying ANYTHING about "babying" anyone, she is stating, that you should not friend someone with ED if you can not support them and accept them for who they are. There is a HUGE freaking difference between supporting and helping someone and "babying" them. Someone with an eating disorder is not looking to have their hand held, they just want support like the rest of us here! Support is part of the mfp way but is is also part of EVERY recovery.

    I agree with this and the OP 110% :drinker: :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Woodman725
    Woodman725 Posts: 288 Member
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    People will have their opinions. A big part of this site is holding people accountable not babying them. Sorry but that's the truth.

    This is true, but holding them accountable to their own goals, not your lifestyle or opinion. I'm not trying to bash you or what you're trying to say, but no one deserves to be judged for what their efforts are as long as they are for the better. Unfortunately it's also the truth that people will give their opinion with no regard to someone's feelings about it. There is a time and place for it and some people just don't get that.

    It takes a brave person to come on a "public" site and post pictures of themselves as overweight/underweight or just not looking healthy or tell their stories and hope that people support them for trying to be healthier in whatever way they can or know how. Well said, as usual, DarkAngel.

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