Gym Harrassment

bka8
bka8 Posts: 92
edited September 26 in Fitness and Exercise
So I finally dragged myself back to the gym yesterday, and it wasn't my regular time, but hey, at least I was going, right? So I barely make it through a 20 minute work out and 15 minutes of stretching. I was feelin pretty good about the whole thing!

Then this morning, I get an email titled "Planet Fitness" (where I work out) - open it, and it was from a guy that I had been on two dates with over a year ago. He begins by saying he thought he saw me at the gym, but then went into gross detail (sorry if this is too graphic) about how he recognized my side boob and couldn't stop staring at me and how he watched me for most of his work out because he was on the treadmill behind me and then he watched me stretch...and I wont go into more detail.

I'm so disgusted and outraged...our last contact was me telling him how I wasn't interested in him and that I was seeing someone else. I dont feel I invited such comment in anyway!

I feel scared to go back at the gym...I know some guys think that way but to actually say it is another thing entirely. (Believe me, if someone had the audacity to say that to me in person, they'd get a freeweight to the face!)

Do you think that Planet Fitness has anything in their rules since they're a "judgement free zone"? Or do I just have to be brave?

Thanks for listening to me vent and your support!!
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Replies

  • _LDM_
    _LDM_ Posts: 81
    That is creepy. Print it out, take it to the manager and ask what they do in situations like this!
  • ashleynicoleh04
    ashleynicoleh04 Posts: 195 Member
    GROSS! I hate the creeps! They do not get it! I would just feel disgusted.
  • Rocknsynchrogrl
    Rocknsynchrogrl Posts: 28
    Oh Heeeeckkk NO!!! Does this guy work at the gym? Even if he does I'm sure he has a boss and if not go to corporate. Definitely say something. You will be making the gym a better place for everyone!

    Oh I read that the e-mail came from Planet Fitness!!! Still Complain!!!
  • Natalie0506
    Natalie0506 Posts: 163
    Yeah...I'd definately print it out and take it to them. And keep it in a safe place in case you get more emails.
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
    How did he even get your info??
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    I’m confused…was this e-mail from a PF employee? Or someone who is a member but with whom you had a previous relationship?
  • skinnyjeans13
    skinnyjeans13 Posts: 179
    What a LOSER! Ew, such a creep. It's one thing to think it but to write it out? C'mon.

    I would definitely bring it to the attention of the managers at the gym. And if they say they can't do anything about it and it continues- it might become a legal issue.
  • Crossfire77
    Crossfire77 Posts: 17 Member
    Ignore him, don't reply....he only did that cause you shot him down and he's not over it!!
  • MarkNH
    MarkNH Posts: 65 Member
    I agree w/ LDM.

    Print the letter out and take it to the Manager of the gym.

    What he did/said was 100% un-acceptable !!!!
  • dracobaby82
    dracobaby82 Posts: 380 Member
    I agree print it out and take it to the gym... I'm sure there is something they can do!
  • joanipowell
    joanipowell Posts: 30 Member
    WOW! I don't know what to say about that. I am sorry that he (scum)made you feel that way. I would let someone know about the note.
    You keep up the good work. :flowerforyou:
  • aflane
    aflane Posts: 625 Member
    If Planet Fitness won't intervene, I'd take it to the police. It's definite harrassment and borderline stalking.
  • TXmama
    TXmama Posts: 37
    Absolutely!!! You should definitely report this to the gym! But... I hate to even have to say this, but you just never know... do be CAREFUL when you are out and about in case this guy is a bit of a crazy guy who will be very angry that you've reported him. I don't want to scare you but if he turns out to be a stalker you want to keep your wits about you. KEEP A COPY of the email. You absolutely should NOT have to put up with that from anyone, ever. What a creep! Ugh, so sorry you had to go through that, but do NOT let it keep you from going to the gym. You are doing that for YOU and you mustn't let some jerk keep you from doing something that's good for you and that makes you happy.

    Maybe your boyfriend could work out with you next time, just to keep your anxiety away the next time you have to go?
  • MeliciousMelis
    MeliciousMelis Posts: 458 Member
    That is all out creepy.
    1. Do not respond. That's what he is trying to get you to do- get a reaction.
    2. Do print out the email and take it to the mgt. Let them know you are feeling harassed at their facility, and they are bound to take notice. If nothing else, it's on the radar.
    3. Do you have a workout buddy you can go with? Safety in numbers....

    Don't let this guy control you...
  • tmthorn0927
    tmthorn0927 Posts: 155 Member
    totally agree! print and show to PF staff... they will say something to him for sure...
  • chrisyoung0422
    chrisyoung0422 Posts: 426 Member
    Safe to say the dude was out of line. I do not know if you can make planet fitness do anything about this at all.

    I am not a fan of the place because I think they are to anti the "super worker outer" if that makes any sense. I personally am not a "Lunk" as they call it but have friends who lift seriously and I didn't care for the commericals either.

    That probably seems a lil off topic but at the worst maybe look into another gym. I use the Y and knowing both I believe the Y to be more judgement free than any other facility I have attended.

    Good luck and hope he buzzes off!
  • Mariposa187
    Mariposa187 Posts: 344 Member
    Sounds like someone has a jealousy/hater problem. I remember when my ex started talking junk about me. We later talked and he told me it was cuz he was hurt and mad about how we ended things. I think he wants you to feel that way so he can have power over you. Dont let him get to you and i would talk with someone at planetfitness about the harassment. They should have measures in place for this kind of stuff and if not maybe they will after you express your concerns. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable especially when they are doing something so awesome! :)
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
    i agree with the above posters.
    i would print out the email and talk to the gym's owner/manager.
    that is totally unacceptable.

    i am sorry that happened to you :(
    keep us updated on what you decided to do, and what happens.
  • bka8
    bka8 Posts: 92
    I’m confused…was this e-mail from a PF employee? Or someone who is a member but with whom you had a previous relationship?

    I went on two dates with the guy, so it definitely wasn't a relationship - and no he doesn't work there, he just apparently goes to the same gym as I do now...

    I'm afraid if I take it to planet fitness they'll just say they can't do anything. I will print these copies and pray that it never happens again.
  • redefiningmyself
    redefiningmyself Posts: 476 Member
    I've been in weird situations like that and its very important you take this seriously. Normal men DON'T behave like that. Repeat...NORMAL MEN DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE THAT.

    To start I would visit the local police station and show them the letter. It doesn't mean you are pressing charges or anything, but it means you are alerting them so in the event something else happens, they have something already on file which gives them more to work with. They can also give you good solid advice on what to watch for in the case this escalates.

    Then if it were me I would most definitely contact the head manager and book an appointment to see/him or her. I would show the letter and state that I wanted staff to keep an extra eye out for my safety, and whenever possible, I want and escort back to my car. If they aren't willing to do that I would tell them you want a full refund on your membership and will take your business elsewhere.

    Lastly I would send an email/ or something in writing that tells the guy in no uncertain terms to stay the hell away. (sometimes its hard to do something that sounds mean, but its important that he completely and wholeheartedly know you aren't interested - if his feelings get hurt, so be it)

    Be safe.
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
    I feel you should approach this situation like you would if something similar happened at work. Immediately respond to the sender that any contact from them is unwanted, and request that you Do Not Be Contacted either via email, US mail, or telephone. Don't be nice, be professional. Go on to state the consequence. "If I receive any further contact, I will report you to the managment of the gym" - Then do it if you hear any more from them. Actions have consequences.

    Remember, no one can take advantage of you without your permission. If you see this person, IGNORE them. Do not let them dictate to you whether you will or will not go to the gym.
  • WarriorJayne
    WarriorJayne Posts: 66
    Be brave. (and print it out and take it to the gym and inquire with Mngmt.)

    Change your work out time and if you can get a buddy.
    When you walk in, look for the management and know who they are before you start to work out. Then plug into some good music and zone out. Dont worry about the rest of the world.

    If you are confronted... be loud. Make a scene so that Management takes notice.

    And know that everyone here in the boards of MFP have your back.

    Good luck hon!
  • bethanyweathers
    bethanyweathers Posts: 296 Member
    What a horrible thing to write! I say take it to the manager, see what they can do, if they won't intervene, cancel your membership and go to a gym where there is a zero-tolerance policy on harassment. You don't need to have that negative energy around you when you're trying to be healthy.
  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
    I've been in weird situations like that and its very important you take this seriously. Normal men DON'T behave like that. Repeat...NORMAL MEN DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE THAT.

    To start I would visit the local police station and show them the letter. It doesn't mean you are pressing charges or anything, but it means you are alerting them so in the event something else happens, they have something already on file which gives them more to work with. They can also give you good solid advice on what to watch for in the case this escalates.

    Then if it were me I would most definitely contact the head manager and book an appointment to see/him or her. I would show the letter and state that I wanted staff to keep an extra eye out for my safety, and whenever possible, I want and escort back to my car. If they aren't willing to do that I would tell them you want a full refund on your membership and will take your business elsewhere.

    Lastly I would send an email/ or something in writing that tells the guy in no uncertain terms to stay the hell away. (sometimes its hard to do something that sounds mean, but its important that he completely and wholeheartedly know you aren't interested - if his feelings get hurt, so be it)

    Be safe.

    Completely agree!
  • Samerah12
    Samerah12 Posts: 610 Member
    Not ok. Absolutely bring it to the managers attention. If it were me I would tell the manager "him or me, who do you want here? Either his membership is revoked or I'm not coming back."
  • N_BEAST_MODE_24_7
    N_BEAST_MODE_24_7 Posts: 120 Member
    Yea print it out and show it to the staff....use your anger to fuel your workouts! Don't let one *kitten* get you down, wish I was there ill go kick his *kitten* for you, ppl like that pisses me off!! Sorry bout the cussing
  • kmal2t
    kmal2t Posts: 21
    Unless he's an employee, get over it. Was it classless and inappropriate for him to send you and email about how he was mentally undressing you? Of course, but guys do it constantly at the gym and while girls pretend to hate it they really don't like it when one day it stops.

    My suggestion is becfore blowing something up into a scene, email him back telling him you thought the email was inapprorpiate and you aren't interested and if he continues to email you or to invade your space or bother you at the gym you'll take it up with the management there.

    Or the obvious solution if your bf isn't a wuss..is to have him go with you and if the guy creeps you out he says something to the guy
  • Walt75
    Walt75 Posts: 182 Member
    Crap!!! Ya should have took me with you. For some reason people tend to keep their mouth shut around me..hmmmm
  • ramius
    ramius Posts: 91
    My suggestion regardless of Gym policy is to print out the threatening email and take it to the gym management and inform them of the harrassment.. I'm sure they want to offer a safe and secure place to work out in.. and if its get really creapy or you feel threatened always have someone walk you to your car thats on staff there...

    Then I'd create a outlook / email rule -- to delete everything from here on after from that guy.. and if you think it might go any further file for a restraining order then you can just call the cops the next time you see him...

    Always treat these things seriously -- you never know what evil lurkes in others hearts.. and the propensity of mans inhumanity to man (and woman) is evident in the world we live in...

    Other than that.. Great job on getting back to the gym.. I initially was a little self concious about going to the gym as I (wrongly) thought that the gym is just where skinny people go.. and did I want to be the FAT guy there to be stared at that can only do like the bar on the bench press if I'm lucky??... but you know what.. I got over that and determined.. most people don't really care.. and the ones that do.. I don't care what they think anyway.. since I got over that.. I LOVE going to the gym.. its my new second home

    Good luck on your journey and I hope you get past this situation quickly...
  • elid
    elid Posts: 209 Member
    I'm afraid if I take it to planet fitness they'll just say they can't do anything. I will print these copies and pray that it never happens again.

    If they say they can't do anything, tell them you want your money back for the time remaining on your membership, because you don't feel safe going to their gym.
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