How do you react to people who don't support you?

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emadigan
emadigan Posts: 89 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Since I've lost weight, I've been getting a lot of reactions. Most people are supportive, tell me how great I look, ask me how I did it, etc. But some people are unsupportive, make nasty comments, and are rude! For example, my boyfriend's family starting questioning why I thought I needed to lose weight, how much I used to weigh, and what I weigh now. I found these comments to be completely rude and inappropriate. I also have a friend who likes to make snide comments whenever I report meeting a goal or say something about how hard it is.

Has anyone else experienced this?

How do you handle it?
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Replies

  • kittyloo123
    kittyloo123 Posts: 300 Member
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    to the people who you know are going to make these remarks, i would not be sharing your good news of lbs. lost. Their loss.
  • Newfiedan
    Newfiedan Posts: 1,517 Member
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    kick them in the junk! lol, just kidding, I do not need their support I do what works for me, if they do not like it then sucks to be them.
  • MmhmmStephanie
    MmhmmStephanie Posts: 58
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    I'm kind of in the same boat. My mom hinders my weight loss a LOT. I think the reason why is because she is overweight herself and is jealous.

    As for what to do about it, my only suggestion would let it to roll right off your back. I know it may be hard. But that's the best way to do it. Oh, and I journal a lot. That helps tons as far as venting goes.

    Don't let 'em get the best of you. You're doing a great job!! Keep it up!
  • ShelbyLB
    ShelbyLB Posts: 431
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    When people make rude or unnecessary comments, simply throw a smile on your face, and remember WHY you are doing what you're doing....TO MAKE YOURSELF HEALTHIER AND HAPPIER, right?? Don't let anyone else's way of thinking bring you down!!

    Often, people have rude things to say only when they are envious....so keep doing what you're doing girl....you're worth it! :)
  • HeatherMarie1174
    HeatherMarie1174 Posts: 355
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    sounds to me like they are jealous of your success ... hmmm
  • BaronessBlixen
    BaronessBlixen Posts: 56 Member
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    I get this a lot because I'm already thin and petite. So if I make any comment, ranging from "I need to firm up" to "I'd like to drop just a few pounds" to "I'd like to shape up some problem areas," I always get pelted with nasty remarks. Mostly from people who weigh more than I do and have legitimately struggled with weight all their lives. I understand, and I am sympathetic, but I don't criticize your plan to eat better and exercise more. Don't criticize mine. Everyone has things about themselves that they don't like, and that could be improved.
  • Walt75
    Walt75 Posts: 182 Member
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    Kick them in the- ouch! Sympathy pains!!
  • Angel1066
    Angel1066 Posts: 816 Member
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    There will always be insecure wanting to hold you back, just ignore them and do what makes you happy. good job by the way.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    The last person that asked me how much I've lost, I said the equivalent of an elephants p*nis. That shut 'em up :laugh:

    Seriously though, "I wanted to be as healthy as I could be, and when you know better, you do better. Bless your heart for thinking of me." :bigsmile: And try not to cough or burst out laughing :wink:
  • biggiwig
    biggiwig Posts: 76
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    If it is a fat person, who attacks me, I usually say: Because I don't want to be as fat as you.
    If it is a skinny person, I say: It is easy for you to say, since you are skinny.
  • cjwolfjen
    cjwolfjen Posts: 323 Member
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    You're still young so its probably just the maturity of the people around you. The younger people are the harder it is for them to have sympathy, empathy or understanding... or support for that matter. I would just keep your weight loss to yourself around them. You're not doing it for them anyways, you're doing it for YOU. So celebrate your goals to yourself and feel happy and giddy, but don't consistently talk about it around others. For people who don't understand, or can't lose weight themselves it can trigger annoying or irritating thoughts when they hear you talk about it. Some one may think you are bragging about it (which you have every right to!!) But if they aren't willing to be happy for your success and offer support then don't even bother bringing it up. Just let them be jealous when they see you so much thinner. If they continue to be negative even once you stop discussing it on your part, then try giving it time to pass. Once they realize this is the real thing for you, a new way of living and that you're going to keep it up and be thin and healthy then they'll get over it and accept it as the new you.
  • Coyla
    Coyla Posts: 444 Member
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    Maybe those people actually thought you looked fine at the weight you were. I don't find that rude. I think it's somewhat liberating, in fact. Ultimately, you're trying to be healthy ,and that's a good thing. So you've a right to be proud of yourself.

    As for the friend who makes snide comments, that may be a jealousy issue, or she may feel left out. Sometimes dieting, especially really heavy dieting, can make others feel isolated. We can be so focused on our weight loss that we forget that the world is still turning, and our friends still need us.
  • Lula16
    Lula16 Posts: 628 Member
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    plain ol' jealousy!! the same with me, i dont get much support when MFP links my exercises to my facebook. And i only have my freinds that i know and talk to! i thought about taking the link off, but im not. it helps motivate me to workout on days when i dont feel like it. Thats why i love MFP! we are all on the same boat! i'm here to support you and cheer you on....woo hooo!!! keep up the great work!
  • heathhumble
    heathhumble Posts: 178
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    Family and friends will support you through good and bad.You have made a decision in your life a" health decision" to change the way you live.You don't owe any of them a explination.Stay focused and best of luck to you.Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • UpToTheChallenge
    UpToTheChallenge Posts: 247
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    Sounds like jealousy on your friends behalf. and on your boyfriends family... maybe they already think you're perfect so don't see the reason for it or maybe are concerned it could negatively effect your relationship with him?

    Let your friend know that her remarks are not necessary or just not talk to her about your weight loss journey. She'll probably come around and maybe even come to you for weight loss advice in the future when she seeks you kiss a$s!
  • pftjill
    pftjill Posts: 488
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    I am sorry to any of you getting negative responses. Especially from family and friends-the people who should be your biggest supporters. I am 100% on your side. I love when people decided to get healthier and want to live a longer more fulfilling life. No matter what anyone says-keep this up!!! You are awesome and amazing.

    I work at a boot camp and my boss always says to people-I am saving your life right now. Keep it up!
  • suemar74
    suemar74 Posts: 447 Member
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    I don't get rude comments, but I get unhealthy eaters offering me unhealthy food. It was the same when I quit smoking. Smokers offered me cigarettes. I think the un-supporters fear being left behind, and they feel like they are lacking if we are successful in our attempts.

    Sometimes it even comes in the guise of being "helpful"..."Oh, you're having a bad day? Let's get ice cream (or have a cigarette)."

    Know yourself and why you're doing this, and live for yourself. Take what you need and ignore the rest. You can't change their ways anymore than they can change yours. And most of all, be proud of what you accomplish :)
  • suzannemc
    suzannemc Posts: 4
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    Ten years ago, I lost 100 lbs. the old fashioned way and ran into the exact same stuff. People can just be downright ugly. I even had a co-worker ask to see my breasts because she suspected they were flabby and saggy now. I even lost my best friend from childhood, No doubt, as you lose weight, you gain confidence and you change your attitude....you must. A positive attitude is required to be successful. Some people sense that and somehow they are threatened by it. My advice? Focus on the positive feedback and realize that not everyone is your cheerleader.
  • mkennedym
    mkennedym Posts: 253 Member
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    what kind of sick, twisted a-holes don't support someone who wants to lose weight and be healthy?

    frankly you should cut them out of your life. they are a pox.
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    I haven't encountered negative comments. Around this area & where I'm originally from so many things are about food. When you go visit someone, they are always wanting to feed you. My grandma will ask me if I'm eating enough, because I look too skinny. There are a lot of overweight & obese people in southern Louisiana, & if your choosing to eat something different (Usually healthy) they wonder what's wrong...lol

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