need help: my dog is taking up more than half of my bed

One limb at a time, into the slow cooker

(Disclaimer: no dogs were harmed in the production of this witty reply)

I was like, what is this post doing in "recipes"...

haha

add a few bell peppers and some mushrooms maybe a lil white wine lol

I have a 10lb mini pincher/mini daschund who takes up at least half of the king sized bed. And when he's not taking up half the bed he is either sleeping on my knees or ankles <sigh> He rules the house with his tiny iron paw. LOL!!

Any "dog" that fits in a microwave is not a dog. Just saying...

Basically you are screwed. This is a subject I know well and below is exactly how it is.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is:
Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the
following message on
the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

.

Basically you are screwed. This is a subject I know well and below is exactly how it is.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is:
Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the
following message on
the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

.

LOL that is so true! But even though they may not want to wear my clothes, if something gets left out they do want to sleep on them and there is just no getting them back until they are ready to move!

Also I fully believe that a Pomeranian can take up over half a bed because I have a cat who can always somehow take up more than half of the bed himself and when both of them want to sleep on the bed I have problems :-)

this is from someone who owns 2 shiba inus and a cat that have a 6th sense in knowing what time bedtime is going to be and will beat you to all the "good" spots in the bed! They hog the covers if I move at night and I end up with a corner of the sheet hanging on to it with a dear life so not to lose it and freeze to death.
Right now it is 1:02 am and I have been woken up from my beauty rest to let them outside to pee but to the probably more importantly is their lizard community that lives on the patio that will be checking on!
We will repleat this around 3am also. ( I must get up at 4 to head to work)
The monsters are ready to go back to bed!
Off to get my beauty rest while I can! CIAO!!

Basically you are screwed. This is a subject I know well and below is exactly how it is.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is:
Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the
following message on
the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

.

lmao....I think I almost shed a tear.....this is all too funny...:laugh:

I have 2 dogs, 1 long haired chihuahua and 1 cockapoo (wondering if that word will get bleeped out? lol)
Both do a good job at takin up more than half the bed...however, my cockapoo has now become pretty decent at sleeping towards the bottom left side of the bed, he's getting better at following orders lol. Unfortunately, my chihuahua now hadda start sleeping in her cage (shes got like a bed/pillow thing in there tho...so she's cool with it), but I still *occasionally* will let her sleep on the bed especially when I'm sad....but she's the worst.....and she's gotta be all right up against me and everytime I turn over the poor thing ends up flippin over and gets all stunned and mad AT ME!!! Yup, once you let them on your bed, they seem to offically think it is THEIRS...they *need* to go scratch n ball up the sheets n blankets and spin around and get all comfy...and if you happen to get in their way....u might just get a light growl and definitely the "stink eye"

Would woulda thought a dog that weighed less than 10 lbs would leave you hangin off your bed so often??? lol

But I still love them dearly....spoiled lil brats

On a stick with some Wasabi Ginger teriyaki sauce and grilled. The sauce is only 35 calories.

Delicious!

You guys are funny.

On a dull serious dog lady note....Dont let the dog on your bed. Thats yours! (the masters) Read a little cesar millan and make sure the dog has it's own bed Good luck! Chihuahua owner here

Basically you are screwed. This is a subject I know well and below is exactly how it is.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is:
Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the
following message on
the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

.

LOVEEEEEE!!!!!!

My 13lb Schnoodle insists on sleeping in the direct middle of the bed and will try to worm me over to either side so he can be there. It is an ongoing battle, luckily I'm bigger than he is, so I usually win :laugh:

Have you tried searching for a hot dog recipe on the database?

(My mad Weim isn't allowed NEAR my bed, but he definitely thinks the stairs are a racetrack)

My dog used to do the 'racetrack' thing on the stairs as well. Then one day it occurred to me that my dog knew the command 'Wait'. So when I start to go up or down a flight of stairs, I tell the dog 'Wait' and then proceed. I release her when I'm at the end of the stairs. We've been doing it so long now that she waits without the command if there is a human on the staircase!

If your dog doesn't know 'Wait', "Stay" works just as well.

HAHA! I read that seriously @ first......

We have two 70-80lb dogs so we just got a bigger bed. :drinker: