I was asked if I am PREGNANT! (insert sad face here)

hottie1984
hottie1984 Posts: 1 Member
edited September 26 in Health and Weight Loss
Hey everyone! This is my first time making a post here, so helllooo! Last month I recently put on about 10 pounds over the last maybe six or seven months. Last month, a coworker approached me out of the blue to ask me if I was with child. Keep in mind this coworker does not work directly in my part of the building, so I never see him unless he literally comes into my office or I go into his. Otherwise the only time I see him is when we occasionally pass in the halls coming to and from work. So this idiot had to go out of his way just to come to my part of the building and ask me about my personal life. But anyway, back to the story. So after he asked me this question, I was speechless! I am not pregnant, so I found his question to be very rude and just plain ignorant. I mean, who in their right mind asks a woman if she is pregnant?? I'm guessing this guy was totally clueless that there are some questions that should NEVER BE ASKED. But it gets worse. Instead of walking away after I told him that I wasn't pregnant, he proceeded to say, "Well you look pregnant!" This idiot chose to tell a non pregnant woman that she looked pregnant AFTER he saw how awkward his original question made me feel. I was lost for words completely! I have never been asked if I was pregnant before...never. I would think most people can tell the difference between "chubiness" and a baby bump. Yes, I have gained about 10 pounds slowly over the last 6 or 7 months, but I've gained weight all over my body...not just in my belly. To me that would scream, "Oh, she is just getting fat" not... "Oh, she must be with child." Plus pregnant bellies look different from doughy/fat bellies.

I couldn't find anything else to say, so I just blamed it on my ovarian cyst that I had at the time and the medication I was on for it. Yes, I think the medication and cyst made me appear more bloated in the tummy area, but the bulk of my weight gain is just plain old fat. I was so upset that I left work right after it happened because I was so hurt. I knew that I gained weight and was actually working out and dieting when this all happened. In fact, I was just starting to lose a few pounds and felt sooooo good about myself going into work that morning. I was so happy because I thought my body was actually starting to look thinner, and then this idiot had to ruin my day! I haven't seen this coworker since the incident. I think he knows better than to speak to me again.

I am a size 12, and I am around 5' 6" or 5' 7". I have an hourglass shape, so when I gain weight I grow outward(front to back) instead of spreading sideways. If you see me from the front or back, I look great. But when I turn to the side, you can see my weight gain for sure. Still, I DO NOT think I look pregnant! My arms, thighs, breasts, hips, and butt have all grown in size...not just my belly. I think I just look fatter! Luckily when I went home that day I found and awesome song that made me smile. It's called, "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" If you have been in my shoes, it might cheer you up!


Links to the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEPi7RicQGos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1QrooZbm00



So....has anyone else been asked this question? If so, how did you respond?
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Replies

  • beastmode_kitty
    beastmode_kitty Posts: 845 Member
    I've been asked that, and I went so red in the face.

    I'm in the same position as you! I'm in a size 18-20 jeans....my belly area is wider than my hips and i hate it, but it also sticks out the front too just as far out as my chest does. I hate it.....
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
    That's terrible. People need to stop assuming that women are pregnant just by looking at their bodies. I've known women to go completely berserk when asked that question when they're not with child.. it can be a dangerous area..
  • bethanyweathers
    bethanyweathers Posts: 296 Member
    I worked at a plus sized store last summer and I was helping a lady out in the fitting room. She had tried on a pair of pants and asked what sort of top would go with it. I told her something like I was wearing would look nice. I was wearing a sleeveless tank that was fitted around the bust but flowy from just under my bust down. She looked at it and said, "No, I don't wear maternity clothes. I'm not pregnant."

    I stood there a minute, trying to remember that I would get fired if I hit a customer, and finally said, "I'm not pregnant either." She rolled her eyes and said, "Well then you shouldn't wear clothes that give people that impression. She closed the fitting room door and I passed her off to another employee to deal with.

    It sucked because since I was at work, I had to remain professional and I couldn't call her out on it. The funny thing is, when the other employee brought her a shirt exactly like mine but in a different color, she loved it so much she bought it.
  • Kimmerz1
    Kimmerz1 Posts: 64 Member
    Hey everyone! This is my first time making a post here, so helllooo! Last month I recently put on about 10 pounds over the last maybe six or seven months. Last month, a coworker approached me out of the blue to ask me if I was with child. Keep in mind this coworker does not work directly in my part of the building, so I never see him unless he literally comes into my office or I go into his. Otherwise the only time I see him is when we occasionally pass in the halls coming to and from work. So this idiot had to go out of his way just to come to my part of the building and ask me about my personal life. But anyway, back to the story. So after he asked me this question, I was speechless! I am not pregnant, so I found his question to be very rude and just plain ignorant. I mean, who in their right mind asks a woman if she is pregnant?? I'm guessing this guy was totally clueless that there are some questions that should NEVER BE ASKED. But it gets worse. Instead of walking away after I told him that I wasn't pregnant, he proceeded to say, "Well you look pregnant!" This idiot chose to tell a non pregnant woman that she looked pregnant AFTER he saw how awkward his original question made me feel. I was lost for words completely! I have never been asked if I was pregnant before...never. I would think most people can tell the difference between "chubiness" and a baby bump. Yes, I have gained about 10 pounds slowly over the last 6 or 7 months, but I've gained weight all over my body...not just in my belly. To me that would scream, "Oh, she is just getting fat" not... "Oh, she must be with child." Plus pregnant bellies look different from doughy/fat bellies.

    I couldn't find anything else to say, so I just blamed it on my ovarian cyst that I had at the time and the medication I was on for it. Yes, I think the medication and cyst made me appear more bloated in the tummy area, but the bulk of my weight gain is just plain old fat. I was so upset that I left work right after it happened because I was so hurt. I knew that I gained weight and was actually working out and dieting when this all happened. In fact, I was just starting to lose a few pounds and felt sooooo good about myself going into work that morning. I was so happy because I thought my body was actually starting to look thinner, and then this idiot had to ruin my day! I haven't seen this coworker since the incident. I think he knows better than to speak to me again.

    I am a size 12, and I am around 5' 6" or 5' 7". I have an hourglass shape, so when I gain weight I grow outward(front to back) instead of spreading sideways. If you see me from the front or back, I look great. But when I turn to the side, you can see my weight gain for sure. Still, I DO NOT think I look pregnant! My arms, thighs, breasts, hips, and butt have all grown in size...not just my belly. I think I just look fatter! Luckily when I went home that day I found and awesome song that made me smile. It's called, "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" If you have been in my shoes, it might cheer you up!


    Links to the song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEPi7RicQGos

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1QrooZbm00



    So....has anyone else been asked this question? If so, how did you respond?


    I work in fast food and this customer who I saw everyday and then he disappeared came in one morning and asked "boy or girl" and I said excuse me and he said "well arn't you pregnant" and I said no and he said again "oh I thought thats the reason I haven't seen you for awhile" I said I had a baby 2 years ago but I haven't changed anything like weight or anything. I thought it was rude and it hurt my feelings but I just think of him as ignorant and I don't let it get to me all I can do. So in my mind don't let your co-worker get to you if he says anything like that again just tell him how rude he is and he is hurting your feelings..I am in the same boat.
  • jenndog
    jenndog Posts: 13 Member
    :angry: Yes, I've been asked this before and was mortified. Actually my size and height and way I gain weight are the same as yours. So, I was walking one night in my own neighborhood and TWO different neighbors (both FEMALE) asked me when I was due during about a 15 minute time span. I just came home and cried. I didn't know how to respond.

    I just started tracking my food and exercise again, so hopefully I can slowly decrease this belly.
  • jmyers1230
    jmyers1230 Posts: 67 Member
    I was asked that last summer when I was in Mexico. I'm 5'7" and weighed under 150lbs at the time. My whole family just carries their weight around their middles and my bit of extra weight looks just like a baby bump. I gained 10lbs or so after that before I decided I wanted to lose weight. Even now, I still feel like I look like I have a baby bump and I'm back to 148lbs! One of the girls I work with is pregnant and for the first few months I joked that my stomach was bigger than her baby bump. Now all my coworkers say I don't look like I need to lose weight, but I still see the "baby bump" stomach (but have a tendency to suck in my stomach most of the time--I've always done that, even when I didn't need to).

    If anyone asks me if I'm pregnant, I just tell them that isn't possible and we aren't having kids for at least 2 more years. I hate my stomach but unfortunately you can't target weight loss to one specific area. It's the only thing I really want to shrink right now.
  • LittleMissVintage
    LittleMissVintage Posts: 142
    When I first started I'd lost ten pounds and was feeling really good, then some jerk who has been annoying me for years told me I was fat I didn't get mad or depressed I worked harder. Who was he to determine how i feel? So I made it a goal to one day make eat his words. Now I'm down 70 lbs and I see him drooling when I walk by, but to bad for him... He's already ruined his chances of me ever even talking to him. Who's laughing now!
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
    I've had family ask me that.

    I'm a guy.

    Sometimes I hate my family. :mad:
  • Tzavush
    Tzavush Posts: 389 Member
    People are often just stupid and ignorant.
    Dont let them upset you, use them as your source for determination.

    I know that its awful when people ask when you are not pregnant, but I have had the opposite.
    When I have been pregnant and I was actually maintaining my weight or losing during my pregnancies because I started out fat, people have made comments about me gaining weight.
    That hurts just as much!
  • ama1678
    ama1678 Posts: 1
    :frown: I'm a 5'3 and a size 4. When I gain weight, it shows in my hips, stomach, and butt. I teach tumbling to 3 and 4 year olds and today 2 little boys implied there was a baby in my tummy. So horrible.... I couldn't believe it. How do you react to that? I don't have the flattest stomach but I certainly don't think I look like I'm pregnant. Geez.
  • emilyc85
    emilyc85 Posts: 450 Member
    I get asked that quite frequently, like, literally once a week... And I really wish I was kidding or exaggerating, but I'm not... I am a recent implant in a small town, heavy up front, and newly married. So everyone thinks I MUST be pregnant. And I am one of the oldest (27 y.o.) females in the area without ANY kids, seriously in my area almost everyone has had multiple kids by 22, usually by multiple people... So, again, the assumption is that I am pregnant. I just just give them a pissy look and say: " I'd ****ing better not be, that'd piss me off." Not because I don't want kids, but because I want them to know they need to stop asking. And give a ****ty enough answer and they will stop asking. I am now getting the question about once every two weeks and it is lessening.
  • sk_pirate
    sk_pirate Posts: 282 Member
    " I'd ****ing better not be, that'd piss me off."

    WIN
  • ddky
    ddky Posts: 381 Member
    I worked with a girl who had the best response I have heard. When a client said something about her being pregnant (which she wasn't). She just said "oh, I'm not pregnant, I just had a REALLY big breakfast.
  • ohhlivvyuhh
    ohhlivvyuhh Posts: 1
    I just say "9 months from tonight ;)"
  • CEHayes73
    CEHayes73 Posts: 221 Member
    Been there. It is the rudest question ever! I would never ask someone that unless they were wearing a 'baby on board' t-shirt. I wish I could be cool and blasé about it, but each time its happened to me (maybe 3 or 4 times) I just turn bright red and stand there with my mouth gaping open like a fish out of water. And never again wear the clothes I was wearing then. I have an empire wasted white top with black embroidery that I love, but I won't wear it until I lose a bit more.
  • squindles
    squindles Posts: 350 Member
    Ignoramus:" so how long have you got left?"
    Me: "what?"
    Ignoramus:" you know, till you have your baby!"
    Me:"20 months"
    Ignoramus:"What?"
    Me:" yea, 20 months. I'm having a baby elephant"..............................................:smokin:
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
    I've had family ask me that.

    I'm a guy.

    Sometimes I hate my family. :mad:


    GAH BEAT ME TO IT !
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    I have been asked if I was pregnant and my usual response is no I am just fat, that usually shuts them up.
  • rich347
    rich347 Posts: 508 Member
    I was going to ask that twice but realized it would've been a big mistake ....FUNNY...but wrong lolz
  • Gordo1981
    Gordo1981 Posts: 59 Member
    Weeeeelllll.... just to stir the pot a bit here. Unless you have gone through menopause based on the calculators and stuff my wife tells me that women would meet the OB/GY definition of pregnant up to their next period, so a woman might be "3 weeks pregnant" if you use those scales.

    PLease don't hit me! Just trying to lighten up the tone of the thread!

    and NO as a man I know never to ask a woman if she is pregnant (maybe speculate with my wife, but that is usually if they are starting to wear maternity like pants, but she tells me that comfort waistbands are the new thing on some pants so I don't even think about it anymore.)

    again please don't hit me!
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    12UK or 12 US? 12UK at that height isn't overweight at all really. It was rude of him but sometimes people genuinely think people are pregnant and not everyone in the world is good at expressing themselves. When I was younger I asked someone if they were pregnant and they weren't, I haven't made that mistake again though.

    Why not use it to help motivate you to lose the weight you need to lose.

    Anyway it is silly to leave work just because someone said something you didn't like. The world is going to hurt you occasionally and that's just how it goes.
  • skorpio1030
    skorpio1030 Posts: 17
    Guys just don't get it.. Not at all...

    I just had a baby 5 months ago (a big 8 lb 5 oz baby) and I gained like 55 pounds.. Guys used to ask me all the time was I carrying twins or triplets.. The worse thing ever..I'm only 5'2" so you could really tell I gained a lot... Most of the time it didn't bother me, but sometimes it was just hard to shrug off! I'm still battling trying to loose the baby weight after 5 months now..
  • summer8it
    summer8it Posts: 433 Member
    I have a friend who is actually quite thin who used to get asked if she was pregnant all the time. It wasn't fat -- it was her posture! She would always stand with her shoulders slumped, her hips forward, and her belly lax, and it made her stomach look rounder than it really was. Once she realized this and started standing taller, she stopped getting asked about her pregnancy... or at least they stopped until she really did get pregnant.
  • kaylacollinscna
    kaylacollinscna Posts: 102 Member
    I work in a nursing home and I've had residents ask me that before. I usually just tell them "No, i'm just fat." It goes pretty awkwardly from there.
    At the same time I've had residents make different comment such as I look like I'm built for the job (like they're equating weight with strength? I don't know xD) I always think It's funny. I have one male residents who calls me the "big strong girl".
  • theblondetrick
    theblondetrick Posts: 192 Member
    I've never been asked if I was pregnant,probably because I'm only 19.
    I mean,the coworker is obviously a guy and you know how they can be inconsiderate.Or maybe he's mean.

    But,because you mentioned the cyst and I just assumed that you were taking some hormones,I wanted to tell you that you shouldn't feel guilty that you gained weight.
    I'm on hormone pills because I had problems with my ovaries(like cysts and twisted ovarian tube,but that's a long story) and when I first started taking them,I gained like 12 lbs in one month and some more after that.Hormones really have a huge effect on my appetite and I have to try hard to suppress it.I'm assuming that you were in a similar situation.
    Just keep on trying and the effort will pay off and don't pay attention to those stupid comments.You'll shove it up his *kitten* when you lose weight and come to work looking all gorgeous.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    Somebody forgot to teach that guy manners. You don't just randomly ask people that!
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
    Well Kind of a bit weird that this happened, but the only time I was asked this question, heres what happened. My daughter was 8 months old and we were at a family reunion, aka surrounded by people I see once every 1-2 years. This older women who I dont even know came up and told me "Congrats, oh my goodness another one already??" I was sooo hurt when I realized she thought I was pregnant again! I cried for like a week straight... And then missed my period and found out I WAS pregnant again! Not far enough along to show, but it was still weird that she said that and I didnt even know I was pregnant yet!

    And yeah, isnt it taught in like Etiquette 101 that YOU NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant or reference her being pregnant unless she has told you she is, at which point you say "Wow you look great!" OR the child is coming out of her??
  • stephanieogle35
    stephanieogle35 Posts: 50
    This has happened to me twice. Once at a doctors appt the nurse said to me "Our charts indicate this is your post-partum appt, but you haven't even had that baby yet!" The second time it was the woman doing my pedicure. Really put a damper on my relaxing experience. When I was pregnant, I used to hear "Are you sure there's only 1 baby in there?" at least twice a week. I've had 3 kids, and my smallest was 9lbs 12oz. It takes a lot of growing to accommodate a baby that big, and I would get so offended when people would ask me "how many" babies were in there. Some people need to learn to not open their mouths.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Somebody forgot to teach that guy manners. You don't just randomly ask people that!

    He didn't randomly ask that. He went out of his way to ask that. That kind of makes the whole thing bizarre. I mean the guy was really motivated to ask this question. I would have doubts about his sanity under these circumstances. I would ask him how his med regimen is going and ask if they upped his dose of Wellbutrin, yet.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    one time i was outside and a guy came up to me and said "you shouldn't be smoking while your pregnant"
    i looked at him like ---> :mad: and he just said "oops! sorry!" and pretty much ran in the other direction! LOL

    i worked in retail last year and a really stupid woman (regular) came in and asked if i was pregnant. i waited till the other lady in line left, and i looked at the woman and said "nope. just fat. thanks for reminding me." and she just looked at me dumbfounded and you could tell she was embarrassed.
    i gave her a stern look and said "never ask another woman that. ESPECIALLY if you don't even know them"
    she said "sorry", looked down and left the store.

    i gotta say, i think i made her feel worse than she made me feel! lol
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