Are you okay with someone close to you comment on your weight

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Tanie98
Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
in Motivation and Support
I remember few years ago, my dad asked me if I was still going to the gym and he said I am gaining weight. I didn't get offended and i didn`t care. I am okay with my parents telling me that I am gaining weight but not with anyone else. I don't like anyone else comment on my weight gain as I find it offensive and I feel like its none of their concern

Anyone feel the same way
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Replies

  • Sweetvirgo63
    Sweetvirgo63 Posts: 119 Member
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    It used to bother me years ago but not anymore. I now put it in the same category as taking health advice from a smoker :p
  • caimay149
    caimay149 Posts: 65 Member
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    I don't like it. I don't criticise people for smoking, or not working out enough, or whatever. Do people comment on my weight really think I'm not aware I'm fat?? Lol.

    My mother talks about me losing weight all the time. It's SO effing annoying. We've had blazing rows about it and she still does it, incessantly. If I've lost weight she talks about it, if I eat healthy she talks about it, and whenever she eats food she spends the entire time complaining about how she shouldn't be eating it and how she needs to lose weight. It ruins meals for me.

    The other day I said I thought Ali Sweeney was really pretty, and in her know-it-all voice she said 'well, you know what you've got to do if you want to look like that'. I was talking about her hair and her face, mom.

    Weight talk annoys me period. Except on here :)
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    caimay149 wrote: »
    I don't like it. I don't criticise people for smoking, or not working out enough, or whatever. Do people comment on my weight really think I'm not aware I'm fat?? Lol.

    My mother talks about me losing weight all the time. It's SO effing annoying. We've had blazing rows about it and she still does it, incessantly. If I've lost weight she talks about it, if I eat healthy she talks about it, and whenever she eats food she spends the entire time complaining about how she shouldn't be eating it and how she needs to lose weight. It ruins meals for me.

    The other day I said I thought Ali Sweeney was really pretty, and in her know-it-all voice she said 'well, you know what you've got to do if you want to look like that'. I was talking about her hair and her face, mom.

    Weight talk annoys me period. Except on here :)

    Same here I rather have people not comment either way. Its uncomfortable and awkward

  • MelanieRBrace
    MelanieRBrace Posts: 245 Member
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    I don't like it when anyone comments on my weight. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. I'm okay with it on MFP but not anytime else.
  • lycankitty
    lycankitty Posts: 5 Member
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    I hate people commenting on my weight. The men in my life think i look great the way i am ( I'm 198lbs FFS!) but then they all like curvy big boobed women. My own mother laughed at me the other day while i was trying on a dress. While laughing she said i looked pregnant, that if people start giving me their seat on the bus they'd think i was pregnant too. That comment totally ruined my night with my boyfriend. Although, i haven't touch an unhealthy piece of food since and it's given me the motivation to really lose weight. I was lacking in motivation, not any more.

    I wish people would keep their comments to themselves unless i ask them how i look. Grr.
  • caimay149
    caimay149 Posts: 65 Member
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    The other culprit? My boss. And some of my coworkers. I work in a very multi-cultural office where it's the norm to comment on how women look. I find it really offensive. One woman once came up to me going 'what happened to you? Your weight! You put on so much weight!' I had gained like, 5lbs.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    edited October 2014
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    caimay149 wrote: »
    The other culprit? My boss. And some of my coworkers. I work in a very multi-cultural office where it's the norm to comment on how women look. I find it really offensive. One woman once came up to me going 'what happened to you? Your weight! You put on so much weight!' I had gained like, 5lbs.

    Yes I have had that happened to me. One of my co worker was like ``you are not pregnant are you``i said no and then she is like ``You gained weight!`` I just brushed it off and I told her that I was aware of that. Then another day she brought it up again and saying stuff like you were so sexy and now you are fat, that`s when I went off on her and asked her if she would like it if anyone tells her that she needs lose weight.I also pointed out the fact is bigger than me and she had the nerve to call me fat. Even when i gained 20 lbs, she was still heavier than me. she is no skinny mini either .She then apologize and said she didn't realize that she cant say say things like that to people. like wtf.some people >:):#

  • terar21
    terar21 Posts: 523 Member
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    Nope. But I had a traumatizing aunt when I was younger that used to comment on my weight, compare it to hers (she was a grown woman), try on my clothes to prove she could fit in them, poke at my stomach and ask to see it, etc. Now THAT was a woman with issues. She did it to all her nieces and still does it to us but now that we're older we just laugh it off as being pathetic.
  • terar21
    terar21 Posts: 523 Member
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    caimay149 wrote: »
    The other culprit? My boss. And some of my coworkers. I work in a very multi-cultural office where it's the norm to comment on how women look. I find it really offensive. One woman once came up to me going 'what happened to you? Your weight! You put on so much weight!' I had gained like, 5lbs.

    I've had this happen as well. I don't get why people think that's ok. It's one thing if you're literally concerned for someone's health and they're at a dangerous point but what makes you comment on 15 pounds worth of weight.
  • Sweetvirgo63
    Sweetvirgo63 Posts: 119 Member
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    @caimay149 - I'm sorry your mom riles you about your weight but I think you nailed it on the head with your comments about her own eating habits. If you lose weight and better yourself, she's faced with the realization that it doesn't change her and she doesn't know how to deal with it. Hopefully, you can get to a point where you can ask her to join you on a health and fitness journey so you can do it together.
  • caimay149
    caimay149 Posts: 65 Member
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    On the positive side, one guy at my organisation, from Africa, told me I had 'an amazing physique'. I treasured that moment, because ain't nobody from the western world ever gonna tell me that! haha
  • JustAnotherGirlSuzanne
    JustAnotherGirlSuzanne Posts: 932 Member
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    If they think I've lost weight... comment away! Tell me how great I look.

    If they think I need to lose weight/have gained... keep that to yourself. I'm already well aware of that and don't need your help to remember.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Only people I know that we talk about fitness stuff- for good or bad- it's not coming with judgement- you know when they say you are looking big- its' a good thing- or you're looking cut it's a good thing.

    People who aren't in the "community" as it were- or not close to me- I don't appreciate it.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    I don't mind it. The other day a shopkeeper, an old man over 80, commented on my weight saying I look like I've lost a lot of weight and that if I continue and lose some more I would look perfect. I thanked him.

    My friend, who was with me, got this look on her face. I asked her what was wrong, she said "he had no right to comment on your weight."

    Why not? A person, trying to be nice, trying to communicate, trying to be helpful... It does not matter how it comes off. I know most of the people who do comment are not being intentionally mean-spirited, even when their comment comes off offensive, unintentionally, or if someone comments about me gaining weight or showers me with me with "advice".

    They're just people being people doing what people do. Communicate and express their opinions.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    I don't care, I just ignore them anyway.
  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
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    Unless I specifically ask or bring up the topic, I am NOT ok with it. Nope, nope, nope.
  • kelsiewisner
    kelsiewisner Posts: 2 Member
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    Unless it is a POSITIVE comment saying you have lost weight, absolutely not. Unless it is a positive comment in general absolutely not. People can be such A-holes.
  • Aine8046
    Aine8046 Posts: 2,122 Member
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    I am ok with it if I can see that the person is realy concerned and not just trying to kick me. Honest opinion can be eye-opening.
  • madisonamanda
    madisonamanda Posts: 78 Member
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    I don't even like people commenting "positively". The "Oh you're so skinny", or "you've lost so much weight" or "you better stop or you'll disappear". Like.. firstly, it's an exaggeration and secondly I find it uncomfortable and awkward.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited October 2014
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    Even a negative can be positive. The other day a relative, who has lost 20 pounds but was not very fat to begin with asked me: "are you doing your diet wrong? Looks like you are losing weight from your belly and thighs but gaining it in your arms, because they didn't hang like this before. " and proceeded to explain what she did to lose weight. I secretly laughed at the idea, then when she was done talking I explained to her how someone who is super morbidly obese stretches out their skin and when they lose weight it slowly deflates like a balloon losing the rounded shape and going through a phase that resembles a pouch of fat. She was shocked and said "I did not know that."

    On the surface her comment may sound offensive, but in reality she was trying to share her experience in hopes of helping me improve on my progress. That's nice of her, that's not offensive.

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