Are you okay with someone close to you comment on your weight
Tanie98
Posts: 675 Member
I remember few years ago, my dad asked me if I was still going to the gym and he said I am gaining weight. I didn't get offended and i didn`t care. I am okay with my parents telling me that I am gaining weight but not with anyone else. I don't like anyone else comment on my weight gain as I find it offensive and I feel like its none of their concern
Anyone feel the same way
Anyone feel the same way
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It used to bother me years ago but not anymore. I now put it in the same category as taking health advice from a smoker
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I don't like it. I don't criticise people for smoking, or not working out enough, or whatever. Do people comment on my weight really think I'm not aware I'm fat?? Lol.
My mother talks about me losing weight all the time. It's SO effing annoying. We've had blazing rows about it and she still does it, incessantly. If I've lost weight she talks about it, if I eat healthy she talks about it, and whenever she eats food she spends the entire time complaining about how she shouldn't be eating it and how she needs to lose weight. It ruins meals for me.
The other day I said I thought Ali Sweeney was really pretty, and in her know-it-all voice she said 'well, you know what you've got to do if you want to look like that'. I was talking about her hair and her face, mom.
Weight talk annoys me period. Except on here
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I don't like it. I don't criticise people for smoking, or not working out enough, or whatever. Do people comment on my weight really think I'm not aware I'm fat?? Lol.
My mother talks about me losing weight all the time. It's SO effing annoying. We've had blazing rows about it and she still does it, incessantly. If I've lost weight she talks about it, if I eat healthy she talks about it, and whenever she eats food she spends the entire time complaining about how she shouldn't be eating it and how she needs to lose weight. It ruins meals for me.
The other day I said I thought Ali Sweeney was really pretty, and in her know-it-all voice she said 'well, you know what you've got to do if you want to look like that'. I was talking about her hair and her face, mom.
Weight talk annoys me period. Except on here
Same here I rather have people not comment either way. Its uncomfortable and awkward
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I don't like it when anyone comments on my weight. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. I'm okay with it on MFP but not anytime else.0
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I hate people commenting on my weight. The men in my life think i look great the way i am ( I'm 198lbs FFS!) but then they all like curvy big boobed women. My own mother laughed at me the other day while i was trying on a dress. While laughing she said i looked pregnant, that if people start giving me their seat on the bus they'd think i was pregnant too. That comment totally ruined my night with my boyfriend. Although, i haven't touch an unhealthy piece of food since and it's given me the motivation to really lose weight. I was lacking in motivation, not any more.
I wish people would keep their comments to themselves unless i ask them how i look. Grr.0 -
The other culprit? My boss. And some of my coworkers. I work in a very multi-cultural office where it's the norm to comment on how women look. I find it really offensive. One woman once came up to me going 'what happened to you? Your weight! You put on so much weight!' I had gained like, 5lbs.0
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The other culprit? My boss. And some of my coworkers. I work in a very multi-cultural office where it's the norm to comment on how women look. I find it really offensive. One woman once came up to me going 'what happened to you? Your weight! You put on so much weight!' I had gained like, 5lbs.
Yes I have had that happened to me. One of my co worker was like ``you are not pregnant are you``i said no and then she is like ``You gained weight!`` I just brushed it off and I told her that I was aware of that. Then another day she brought it up again and saying stuff like you were so sexy and now you are fat, that`s when I went off on her and asked her if she would like it if anyone tells her that she needs lose weight.I also pointed out the fact is bigger than me and she had the nerve to call me fat. Even when i gained 20 lbs, she was still heavier than me. she is no skinny mini either .She then apologize and said she didn't realize that she cant say say things like that to people. like wtf.some people
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Nope. But I had a traumatizing aunt when I was younger that used to comment on my weight, compare it to hers (she was a grown woman), try on my clothes to prove she could fit in them, poke at my stomach and ask to see it, etc. Now THAT was a woman with issues. She did it to all her nieces and still does it to us but now that we're older we just laugh it off as being pathetic.0
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The other culprit? My boss. And some of my coworkers. I work in a very multi-cultural office where it's the norm to comment on how women look. I find it really offensive. One woman once came up to me going 'what happened to you? Your weight! You put on so much weight!' I had gained like, 5lbs.
I've had this happen as well. I don't get why people think that's ok. It's one thing if you're literally concerned for someone's health and they're at a dangerous point but what makes you comment on 15 pounds worth of weight.0 -
@caimay149 - I'm sorry your mom riles you about your weight but I think you nailed it on the head with your comments about her own eating habits. If you lose weight and better yourself, she's faced with the realization that it doesn't change her and she doesn't know how to deal with it. Hopefully, you can get to a point where you can ask her to join you on a health and fitness journey so you can do it together.0
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On the positive side, one guy at my organisation, from Africa, told me I had 'an amazing physique'. I treasured that moment, because ain't nobody from the western world ever gonna tell me that! haha
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If they think I've lost weight... comment away! Tell me how great I look.
If they think I need to lose weight/have gained... keep that to yourself. I'm already well aware of that and don't need your help to remember.0 -
Only people I know that we talk about fitness stuff- for good or bad- it's not coming with judgement- you know when they say you are looking big- its' a good thing- or you're looking cut it's a good thing.
People who aren't in the "community" as it were- or not close to me- I don't appreciate it.0 -
I don't mind it. The other day a shopkeeper, an old man over 80, commented on my weight saying I look like I've lost a lot of weight and that if I continue and lose some more I would look perfect. I thanked him.
My friend, who was with me, got this look on her face. I asked her what was wrong, she said "he had no right to comment on your weight."
Why not? A person, trying to be nice, trying to communicate, trying to be helpful... It does not matter how it comes off. I know most of the people who do comment are not being intentionally mean-spirited, even when their comment comes off offensive, unintentionally, or if someone comments about me gaining weight or showers me with me with "advice".
They're just people being people doing what people do. Communicate and express their opinions.0 -
I don't care, I just ignore them anyway.0
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Unless I specifically ask or bring up the topic, I am NOT ok with it. Nope, nope, nope.0
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Unless it is a POSITIVE comment saying you have lost weight, absolutely not. Unless it is a positive comment in general absolutely not. People can be such A-holes.0
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I am ok with it if I can see that the person is realy concerned and not just trying to kick me. Honest opinion can be eye-opening.0
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I don't even like people commenting "positively". The "Oh you're so skinny", or "you've lost so much weight" or "you better stop or you'll disappear". Like.. firstly, it's an exaggeration and secondly I find it uncomfortable and awkward.0
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Even a negative can be positive. The other day a relative, who has lost 20 pounds but was not very fat to begin with asked me: "are you doing your diet wrong? Looks like you are losing weight from your belly and thighs but gaining it in your arms, because they didn't hang like this before. " and proceeded to explain what she did to lose weight. I secretly laughed at the idea, then when she was done talking I explained to her how someone who is super morbidly obese stretches out their skin and when they lose weight it slowly deflates like a balloon losing the rounded shape and going through a phase that resembles a pouch of fat. She was shocked and said "I did not know that."
On the surface her comment may sound offensive, but in reality she was trying to share her experience in hopes of helping me improve on my progress. That's nice of her, that's not offensive.0 -
Coming from my core group, I'm initially hurt, but then I realize I appreciate it. The hurt usually came from knowing they were right. My bff is small and in shape, but she works her butt off to be that way and always has. It was the same with other issues I had when I was younger, I would always flare to anger initially because I was defensive, but I appreciated it when my friend talked to me about it a few months ago. Sometimes we turn a blind eye to our own errors, and it takes someone else's love to get us out of that rut. For me, anyway.
A casual friend commenting would likely piss me off and I'd stay pissed off, because they don't know what I do on a day to day basis. I had someone recently make a comment and I told them I was actuall down 30 from my heaviest and they were just rude about it. They hadn't seen me in a long time so I get it, but I don't feel we knew each other well enough for the commentary.0 -
My family makes snarky comments on my weight all the time. I don't give a s*** though. I guess that doesn't count since we're not close, we just live together.
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Ive gain a few pounds back and am terrified of someone mentioning it.
It may be muscle tho, as I have been lifting weights.. heres hoping.0 -
Well, I like people to generally follow social rules of polite behavior, so no.
Weight might not be such a taboo thing to discuss if people could discuss it politely, but they rarely do.0 -
But I think also, people rarely discuss it without making a lot of assumptions. They assume we don't know we're fat. They assume we're not doing anything about it. I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day who is a stuntman, and has to gain/lose weight for roles. I told him about cutting my calories, and he was like 'oh cool, so what are you doing, halving what you eat?' and I told him no, I'm changing the things I eat and watching the quantities. We had a nice, factual discussion about it. Not once was it talked about that I'm fat/trying to lose weight/have lost weight etc.
Unfortunately, too often things are said with a lot of judgment. They aren't just pointing out that you're fat, but adding a silent 'whatcha gonna do about it?' we don't owe it to anyone to feel bad about it, or lose weight, or be healthier, or workout. It's a personal process and nobody else's business.0 -
kelsiewisner wrote: »Unless it is a POSITIVE comment saying you have lost weight, absolutely not. Unless it is a positive comment in general absolutely not. People can be such A-holes.
weight loss =/= positive comment.
sometimes gain is the goal.
sometimes weight loss for an already underweight person is bad.
a positive comment is not the same as a weight loss comment.
Which is why I'm okay with constructive comments from friends who I am close with and we have a same same understanding- or with direct gym people who get losing and gaining are a part of this process of bulk/cut. random people outside- meh- not so much- they only under stand "weight loss" or not. And that is when it gets dicey to me.
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Other dancers comment on my fitness. I appreciate it. The thing I don't like is when they make non-fitness related comparisons of our bodies. I just find that a bit too scrutinizing and odd. But, maybe we all do it, and don't realize it.0
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A couple of months ago my mother in law made the comment "you've really gained a lot of weight haven't you? You used to be so small and have such a nice figure." First of all I had gained about 20 lbs. She has gained like 50-70 lbs in the past 5-7 years. No one has mentioned that to her. I have lost 14 lbs since the last time I saw her and it is really noticeable since I'm a shorty. But every time I lose weight she downplays it and says I'm young, that its easy for me (I'm 33). No what is easy was when I was doing nothing about it. I have worked so hard on this, it's not like I just woke up took a *kitten* and lost 14lbs. I really dread seeing her this weekend because I just want to punch her in the face.
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My Husband asked about my weight just the other night. He said "have you put on some weight?" and I sheepishly said, yeah, I've fallen off the wagon a bit (gained bout 10 pounds over the summer) and need to get back on track. He quickly followed up by saying "I'm not saying you need to lose weight or you look fat, just noticed something looked different" Yeah, like my yoga pants showing just how large my *kitten* is getting. LOL!
Didn't bother me because I know he doesn't care either way. I was obese when we met and when we married and he's tolerated me through several failed weight loss attempts. He also knows I won't let myself get obese again...no matter how much he misses my huge boobs.
I've had some comments that have rubbed me the wrong way but I'm an open book so I give honest answers and usually try to make discussions out of them. If someone has a problem with my food choices, I ask why and discuss. If someone notices I'm not going to the gym as much, I explain. Etc...0 -
sarahjane135 wrote: »A couple of months ago my mother in law made the comment "you've really gained a lot of weight haven't you? You used to be so small and have such a nice figure." First of all I had gained about 20 lbs. She has gained like 50-70 lbs in the past 5-7 years. No one has mentioned that to her. I have lost 14 lbs since the last time I saw her and it is really noticeable since I'm a shorty. But every time I lose weight she downplays it and says I'm young, that its easy for me (I'm 33). No what is easy was when I was doing nothing about it. I have worked so hard on this, it's not like I just woke up took a *kitten* and lost 14lbs. I really dread seeing her this weekend because I just want to punch her in the face.
The best gift you can give yourself is to continue being kind towards her. Don't let her behaviour tarnish the way you feel about yourself. She most likely has issues about herself but doesn't have the tools or the knowledge on how to work on them. This is your time to become a leader and help her walk into her own journey of health.0
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