Are you okay with someone close to you comment on your weight
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Coming from my core group, I'm initially hurt, but then I realize I appreciate it. The hurt usually came from knowing they were right. My bff is small and in shape, but she works her butt off to be that way and always has. It was the same with other issues I had when I was younger, I would always flare to anger initially because I was defensive, but I appreciated it when my friend talked to me about it a few months ago. Sometimes we turn a blind eye to our own errors, and it takes someone else's love to get us out of that rut. For me, anyway.
A casual friend commenting would likely piss me off and I'd stay pissed off, because they don't know what I do on a day to day basis. I had someone recently make a comment and I told them I was actuall down 30 from my heaviest and they were just rude about it. They hadn't seen me in a long time so I get it, but I don't feel we knew each other well enough for the commentary.0 -
My family makes snarky comments on my weight all the time. I don't give a s*** though. I guess that doesn't count since we're not close, we just live together.
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Ive gain a few pounds back and am terrified of someone mentioning it.
It may be muscle tho, as I have been lifting weights.. heres hoping.0 -
Well, I like people to generally follow social rules of polite behavior, so no.
Weight might not be such a taboo thing to discuss if people could discuss it politely, but they rarely do.0 -
But I think also, people rarely discuss it without making a lot of assumptions. They assume we don't know we're fat. They assume we're not doing anything about it. I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day who is a stuntman, and has to gain/lose weight for roles. I told him about cutting my calories, and he was like 'oh cool, so what are you doing, halving what you eat?' and I told him no, I'm changing the things I eat and watching the quantities. We had a nice, factual discussion about it. Not once was it talked about that I'm fat/trying to lose weight/have lost weight etc.
Unfortunately, too often things are said with a lot of judgment. They aren't just pointing out that you're fat, but adding a silent 'whatcha gonna do about it?' we don't owe it to anyone to feel bad about it, or lose weight, or be healthier, or workout. It's a personal process and nobody else's business.0 -
kelsiewisner wrote: »Unless it is a POSITIVE comment saying you have lost weight, absolutely not. Unless it is a positive comment in general absolutely not. People can be such A-holes.
weight loss =/= positive comment.
sometimes gain is the goal.
sometimes weight loss for an already underweight person is bad.
a positive comment is not the same as a weight loss comment.
Which is why I'm okay with constructive comments from friends who I am close with and we have a same same understanding- or with direct gym people who get losing and gaining are a part of this process of bulk/cut. random people outside- meh- not so much- they only under stand "weight loss" or not. And that is when it gets dicey to me.
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Other dancers comment on my fitness. I appreciate it. The thing I don't like is when they make non-fitness related comparisons of our bodies. I just find that a bit too scrutinizing and odd. But, maybe we all do it, and don't realize it.0
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A couple of months ago my mother in law made the comment "you've really gained a lot of weight haven't you? You used to be so small and have such a nice figure." First of all I had gained about 20 lbs. She has gained like 50-70 lbs in the past 5-7 years. No one has mentioned that to her. I have lost 14 lbs since the last time I saw her and it is really noticeable since I'm a shorty. But every time I lose weight she downplays it and says I'm young, that its easy for me (I'm 33). No what is easy was when I was doing nothing about it. I have worked so hard on this, it's not like I just woke up took a *kitten* and lost 14lbs. I really dread seeing her this weekend because I just want to punch her in the face.
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My Husband asked about my weight just the other night. He said "have you put on some weight?" and I sheepishly said, yeah, I've fallen off the wagon a bit (gained bout 10 pounds over the summer) and need to get back on track. He quickly followed up by saying "I'm not saying you need to lose weight or you look fat, just noticed something looked different" Yeah, like my yoga pants showing just how large my *kitten* is getting. LOL!
Didn't bother me because I know he doesn't care either way. I was obese when we met and when we married and he's tolerated me through several failed weight loss attempts. He also knows I won't let myself get obese again...no matter how much he misses my huge boobs.
I've had some comments that have rubbed me the wrong way but I'm an open book so I give honest answers and usually try to make discussions out of them. If someone has a problem with my food choices, I ask why and discuss. If someone notices I'm not going to the gym as much, I explain. Etc...0 -
sarahjane135 wrote: »A couple of months ago my mother in law made the comment "you've really gained a lot of weight haven't you? You used to be so small and have such a nice figure." First of all I had gained about 20 lbs. She has gained like 50-70 lbs in the past 5-7 years. No one has mentioned that to her. I have lost 14 lbs since the last time I saw her and it is really noticeable since I'm a shorty. But every time I lose weight she downplays it and says I'm young, that its easy for me (I'm 33). No what is easy was when I was doing nothing about it. I have worked so hard on this, it's not like I just woke up took a *kitten* and lost 14lbs. I really dread seeing her this weekend because I just want to punch her in the face.
The best gift you can give yourself is to continue being kind towards her. Don't let her behaviour tarnish the way you feel about yourself. She most likely has issues about herself but doesn't have the tools or the knowledge on how to work on them. This is your time to become a leader and help her walk into her own journey of health.0 -
It's no better on the other end either!! I have lost 114 pounds in the last year and I hear constantly "you're going to blow away"... it makes me so mad!!! Like mad enough that the next person says it is gonna catch it!!! I weigh 150 pounds, I am not gonna freaking blow away!!!0
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I've actually had more comments about my weight now that I'm thin than when I was obese. I am currenly 5'6" and 139 lbs. I frequently have people tell me not to lose any more weight and "you need to eat something"!! Seriously?? I don't tell you to stop gaining weight and to quit eating. Why is it okay to tell a grown woman she needs to eat. I'm 43 years old...I think I know when I am hungry and what I want/need to eat. I had a few comments about my weight before but nothing like the ones I get now. All that being said, the bulk of the comments I get now are positive and complimentary, so I don't stress the others.0
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My mum and best friends constantly tell me I'm getting fat, as if I didn't know lol. I was always a UK 4-6 up until my dad dying 3yrs ago and now I'm a UK 14 and I'm only 5' tall. It doesn't help that they've all either lost a lot of weight or naturally thin either. It just makes me want to binge though
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I don't like it - I already know I'm big, and it's not like telling me is going to be some sort of wake-up call.
My mom made a comment on it a week ago, saying that she was worried about me and I needed to lose weight. I wasn't angry at her because I know she was concerned (she struggles with her weight too and was recently diagnosed with type II diabetes), but I was upset.
A couple of weeks ago, she saw me for the first time in several months - I visited her since I live out of state. I didn't want to go because I had gained since the last time I visited her and I didn't want to be judged. However, I am slowly but consistently losing after being at my highest weight ever, and had been into it for a few weeks when she saw me. She didn't know that I was even bigger than I was when she saw me, she just saw that I was bigger than the last time she saw me.
She said that she thought telling me would get me to get serious about losing it, but she assumed I wasn't trying and she doesn't live with me every day. Because it's my mom and not a stranger, it hurt, and it was enough to almost make me throw in the towel. She didn't see how I had been counting my calories daily to make sure I was within my goal, or doing the DDP yoga program, or that I started walking daily, or anything like that. If it wasn't for my DH talking me off the ledge, I'm sure I would have just given up trying.0 -
I'm fortunate in that my close circle is very supportive and would never think to make a negative comment about my weight. My mom and I have talked about my weight, but I always know that she is coming from a place of love and only wants me to be happy and healthy.
Anytime I've heard anything from people outside my circle (which, shockingly, has been rare), I brush it off - they know nothing about me, my health, or my life.0 -
If you're going to gain a crap load of weight and then sit next to me on an airplane, it's no longer a "private" concern.
Context is everything....0 -
I can't stand it but I can't stop it; so I re-adjust how I respond to it. Someone will always have something to say about your life when they stand in a state of ridicule and judgement themselves. I don't tell anyone my personal opinion unless it's asked of me. However, the world doesn't move to the beat of my drum so I just be sure to keep my rhythm whether they try to knock me off or not.0
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bradsbaby1996 wrote: »It's no better on the other end either!! I have lost 114 pounds in the last year and I hear constantly "you're going to blow away"... it makes me so mad!!! Like mad enough that the next person says it is gonna catch it!!! I weigh 150 pounds, I am not gonna freaking blow away!!!
Hahaha, haters gon' hate!
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I find it more of an eye-rolling moment. It's like "REALLY?! I was wondering why I've had to go up a size in clothing..." The worst is my mum making jabs. "I swam this far today", "are you going to eat that?", "I wouldn't be able to fit anymore in if I ate that much", "How long has it been since you did exercise?" its almost like its a competition. Her 'encouragement' isn't encouraging at all0
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MinnieInMaine wrote: »
I've had some comments that have rubbed me the wrong way but I'm an open book so I give honest answers and usually try to make discussions out of them. If someone has a problem with my food choices, I ask why and discuss. If someone notices I'm not going to the gym as much, I explain. Etc...
You shouldn't have to explain anything to anyone. Your body, food choices and gym habits are no one else's business, except maybe your husband's. I would be telling people to mind their own business.
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