Is it normal to not be friends with your ex?
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hortensehildegarde wrote: »good points all around.
And yes I guess I should have asked about being "friendly", not necessarily friends. As in, you don't wish ill will on them and would have a normal conversation like you would with any other person you knew if you ran into them in public. You are friended to them on FB and comment on cute pics of their families. Stuff like that. Sounds like that is pretty typical so long as said ex didn't do something horrible (which of course it makes sense if someone did something awful like abuse, just seems like some people hate their ex just because said ex didn't want them in that way).
Right? OP, just accept that you're a special snowflake because you would never EVER think to cut off relationships with ex's like these other plebs on here. You're so enlightened!
LOL. Um. Huh? Pretty sure I just said the exact opposite (that I can understand cutting of a relationship with an abusive person, or one who developed a mental disorder, had that happen to a friend of mine and she had to divorce her husband due to his schizophrenia and had to stay away from him because he was dangerous. It was a really sad situation. but I digress). I was mostly just curious about just splitting up romantically just cause you aren't compatible in that way.
But yes I *am* special, thanks for noticing
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Making a habit of exes being friends means something else is probably going on in your psyche.
However, if they're in your friendship circle I see the point...then again if all your exes are in that circle that could mean you're a *kitten*. (Satire)0 -
I usually remain amicable with my past ex's... unless they give me a reason not to do so
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hortensehildegarde wrote: »hortensehildegarde wrote: »good points all around.
And yes I guess I should have asked about being "friendly", not necessarily friends. As in, you don't wish ill will on them and would have a normal conversation like you would with any other person you knew if you ran into them in public. You are friended to them on FB and comment on cute pics of their families. Stuff like that. Sounds like that is pretty typical so long as said ex didn't do something horrible (which of course it makes sense if someone did something awful like abuse, just seems like some people hate their ex just because said ex didn't want them in that way).
Right? OP, just accept that you're a special snowflake because you would never EVER think to cut off relationships with ex's like these other plebs on here. You're so enlightened!
LOL. Um. Huh? Pretty sure I just said the exact opposite (that I can understand cutting of a relationship with an abusive person, or one who developed a mental disorder, had that happen to a friend of mine and she had to divorce her husband due to his schizophrenia and had to stay away from him because he was dangerous. It was a really sad situation. but I digress). I was mostly just curious about just splitting up romantically just cause you aren't compatible in that way.
But yes I *am* special, thanks for noticing
Your OP and some of your follow-up posts come off as judgmental of those who choose not to be friends with their exes in non-abusive situations. I can't tell whether you meant for them to be that way or not, but that's the vibe I got.0 -
I've never been in a relationship where a friendship post breakup was appropriate. Some people can and I don't get it. To each their own!0
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I do not spend time with any of my ex's so I don't consider myself to be friends with any of them. However, I am civil with them and they occasionally check in to see how I've been.0
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I have tried staying friends with some of my exes, but THEY didn't want to. It kind of hurt, but I understood, as I was the one ending the relationship, and it was too painful for them to continue to see me.
Most of my exes though, I just don't care one way or the other, and a few, I'd rather never see again.
I am still friendly with one of my exes, but he is just an awesomely nice guy, and gave me no reason to NOT remain friends with him. Even so, we rarely talk, and never hang out.0 -
Why was I with my ex in the first place? Stupidity.
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NikkiJanye73 wrote: »It depends on how you break up. My husband cheated with my best friend ....so no I dont want to be friends, NOT ever. I hope he gets a very painful genital diesese. ;-)
I love it!0 -
In my history, those exes in question, it is far better we have ventured our own ways. A couple were not 'friend' types and the others moved on to happily ever after. Sometimes parting ways is best so your past loves can flourish in life and yours hopefully too.0
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All depends on the break up and how civil both people were. I have some exs i have nothing to do with, and others i am good friends with still(these we ended in a civil matter). Depends on the circumstances and how both people can be.0
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RUNNING_AMOK_1958 wrote: »Why was I with my ex in the first place? Stupidity.
This.0 -
I tried myself to be friends with my ex, but it just made moving on hard, I loved her alot, she broke my heart, I admire her for telling me she no longer was in love with me, but, she would confuse me, I dont think a person should remain friends with an ex, its something I didnt believe in before and I did try but in my opinion its not a good way to move forward in life and wouldnt be fair if I met someone to be hanging out with my ex. I wouldnt like it so why would she, people will come back to that and say you should trust, trust can still be there but doesnt mean youll like it.
I persnoally want my ex to stay out my life alltogether, I did say she could call over a personal thing regarding her close family if she needed to talk to someone about it, but I think its best we move on, I wish her all the luck in the world. But i want to live my life without the pain the break up caused.0 -
Screw that haha. My ex cheated on me with a married woman when we were together, lied about his entire life (example: showed me pictures of his "siblings" but turned out he was an only child), had warrants in other states, and turned out to be just generally crazy.
I'm only friends with one ex. And it's someone I online dated from age 14-16 and never even met in person and we still talk...and still haven't met 15 years later LOL.0 -
going from dating to just friends is a downgrade. If at least one of the two wants to stay in the relationship, it seems impossible to me even if both are perfectly good people.0
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I don't keep in contact with any of my exs, the past is the past right?0
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I don't keep in contact with any of my exs, the past is the past right?
Exactly... they were found lacking in some way (or you were) so why bother? Unless it is the rare occasion where you went on a couple dates and there was absolutely no chemistry, one party is normally still interested. If it is them, why lead them on? If it is you, have some self respect and move on. There are 7 billion other people in the world, you can find someone else to be friends with.
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Relevant to this thread's interest:
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With a few rare exceptions, I am friends with all of my exes. If they were awesome enough to date, they are generally awesome enough to be friends. There are, of course, exceptions that prove the rule.0
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TinkerbellsDeception wrote: »Remaining friends with my ex would have made that restraining order problematic to enforce.
LOL!0 -
He makes it impossible!0
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They're ex for a reason. Goodbye.0
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i am. we ended mutually so there were no hard feelings. i must admit its a little awkward in certain situations but usually not0
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Don't stay friends with an ex full stop. Ask yourself why your really staying in touch with them and you will find its 'just in case'. An insurance policy. Just move on and next time do research on the persons family to see if they are good people. Don't just date someone coz they are 'hot' and you want to show them off, that creates so many more problems. Stop creating ex's as well. You will have more self respect and love for yourself for being single that going from guy to guy trying to find 'happiness'
Good luck.0 -
I'm in friendly terms with them but we're not keeping in touch... However one is still friend with my sister (saw him 3 years ago) and the other is still in touch with my mom, and we talked on the phone a few years back. So, even though I live very far now, I guess I could still run into them.0
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