My boyfriend doesnt want me to be "too skinny"

you cant get "too big" you are a woman. the only way you would get huge is if you used steroids,HGH,etc. A woman is not going to bulk up like a man because our bodies do not make that much testosterone and other things needed to make that much muscle.

here's the thing.
My fiance doesn't want me to lift and get "too big" so you know what. I don't talk to him about about my goals or workouts anymore.

So I've gained muscle and he hasn't said a word.

Do your thing. It's not his business unless you make it his business.

When you have this much weight to lose, 120 is such an arbitrary number. There's a lot that goes on in between those two weights. You might find you love being 180, 150, 160. Just get to work! The closer you get and more goals you make, you understand more where your body wants to, and should go.

I agree 100% with this.

Lol wut? :huh: :huh: :huh: :noway:

Just break up.

I have lost 27 pounds and when I hit 20 my bf at the time told me he liked me the way I was before and that I shouldn't lose anymore weight because HE wouldn't like it.

It wasn't the only reason, but it was the last straw and I broke up with him. He would always make comments, I miss the old you when you would actually eat good things with me .. you know like McDonalds and subs and pizza EVERY MEAL. Some people don't handle change well.

Do what makes you happy and see how he reacts.

My dream weight is 120, my boyfriend told me thats way to small and he likes me to be healthy and lower my weight to 230 (thats how much i weighed when i first met him), honestly i dont mind 230 but im tired of shopping at layne bryant for clothes because they are so expensive!!!

I think 120 will be nice because i will look better, im going into the healthcare field and i dont want to feel embarrassed of my weight and when my daughter gets older i dont want her to be embarrassed of me because im obese.

Do you think 120 is too small?

I have had boyfriends who have told me that but sometimes there just trying to make you feel good about yourself tbh xxx

I'm going to be an optimist since I think we've already seen the negative views on this thread about how your SO could be trying to control you, or worried you may become more attractive and decide to leave him etc.

We all have preferences in how we like our mates to look, and your SO could legitimately prefer women who are near the 230lb range. You should really talk to him about it and explain that you would really like to get to a point where you're healthy and that you want to keep the lines of communication open between you two. If you're in a long term relationship, or one where you see potential for marriage or another large commitment, his opinion does to a degree matter.

When I met my boyfriend I was the lowest weight I've ever been (which is about 4lbs less than I've managed to get back down to now) and when I was talking about still wanting to lose weight before I "fell off the wagon" he was legitimately concerned because he likes bigger, curvier women but he's realized as I've lost weight the second time around, that it's made such a big difference in my confidence, how I hold myself, and how I perceive my body and that is the best thing that could have happened for our relationship. He does still make jokes about making sure I don't lose my booty, but he's pretty happy with my continuing to lose weight, and I've made it clear that if I start to get to a point where his attraction to me is diminishing that I'd like him to vocalize that. It doesn't necessarily mean that I would stop losing weight, but I get the feeling it'd be a good healthy check for me.

That being said, I don't know how you came up with the 120 number or how realistic that is for you since I don't know your body fat percentage, your frame size, your height etc but remember that a number on the scale doesn't matter nearly as much as your health and how you feel about yourself. At 5'6 my own goal is 25lbs above yours.

The beauty of weigh is that your choices aren't either 120 or 230. There's a lot of weights in between. So start losing because 230 is an unhealthy weight for you, and see how you feel as you lose.

Do whatever makes YOU happy! Your happiness comes first!! and if your boyfriend truly only cares about your happiness then he won't care what weight makes you happy.