The Struggle

I am struggling. I started my weight loss journey in June. I did drop 20 lbs by just watching what I eat and it actually wasn't even that hard. But then at the beginning of August I ended up moving back in with my sister and her kids to save money and GEEZE LOUISE has it been rough. There's bad food everywhere. On top of that my boyfriend and I go out to eat at least twice a week. Then add the fact that I started a new job where people will celebrate damn near anything. Just today I walked in and was presented with cookies AND brownies. The only upside to this whole weight loss debocle is that i've actually only gained 2 pounds even though this has been going on for almost 3 months. However comma im still depressed because I am not meeting the goals I have set for myself. What happened to my will power?? How do I get my motivation back and learn to say no??
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Replies

  • meridianova
    meridianova Posts: 438 Member
    kjoac002 wrote: »
    How do I get my motivation back and learn to say no??

    one day at a time.

    i've been dealing with weight loss struggles for most of my life. when i finally got in a place that i could take complete control over everything, i realized that trying to set long-term goals wasn't going to work. i had to focus on what was right in front of me, in small, easily handled increments.

    so each day i set a goal for myself... "today i will eat on plan and do whatever workout i've scheduled at the gym." that's it. if i don't meet those goals, i don't dwell on what happened the day before, but i focus a little bit harder on making sure i make my goal. all that matters is today. deal with tomorrow when it comes.

    each day i make my goal, it becomes a little bit easier to reach tomorrow's goal. after a while, you look back and realize that what was a focused goal is now a habit that you've been doing daily for the last month, or six.

    and as far as work shoving food in your face, a smile and a quick "no thank you" is all you need. compliment the looks, the smell, wish them a happy birthday/anniversary/promotion/birth/graduation/st. swithin's day, but don't let someone else dictate what you're going to eat. it's not their body, it's yours, and they need to respect that.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    I love treats in the office. I can take a small portion, enjoy it with my morning coffee and "plan" to come back at 3 for more. Of course by then the containers have been licked clean if it was good. If it wasn't, nope I won't be coming back for more

    Which leads to another strategy - try to indulge only when it's really good. Just any ol thing you could get from Walmart? Well you could get that anytime yourself if you really want!

    Lastly, for home you could try either some hobbies or walks that keep you outside and may actually help you exercise more. I'm sure there will be lots of tips posted for getting just your portion that satisfies you and not much more - I'll be reading to learn some ideas, too! Good luck!
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    kjoac002 wrote: »
    How do I get my motivation back and learn to say no??

    I think you just have to really want it. It is harder when temptation is everywhere, but you have to want to lose more than you want to eat that brownie or cookie. 2 lbs in 3 months while faced with temptation is good, but it will also mean 8 lbs gained in a year if you don't nip it in the bud now. Best of luck to you.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Motivation comes from within. Nobody else can motivate you.
  • lbride
    lbride Posts: 248 Member
    I am sort of in the same place; once I've stopped counting cals for awhile it takes me a few weeks or so to get back in the swing of things and get back my motivation. Last week I limited my cals to approx 1500-1600 per day (first week back) and over the weekend, lost all motivation and now I'm back at it again - going to try to keep it at 1500 per day this week, and at least have one "good" day this weekend. So it's not all or nothing!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    I think a common mistake is expecting and/or waiting for that feeling of motivation before making changes. Motivation may have been what started you on your journey, but expecting it to always be there and to rely on it is not realistic.

    I don't wait to feel motivated before I go to work, or clean the house, or do the laundry, etc. I do those things automatically because I need to. Same with eating healthy and exercising. Just do it! Don't WAIT to feel motivated first.
  • JessaLee0324
    JessaLee0324 Posts: 118 Member
    kjoac002 wrote: »
    How do I get my motivation back and learn to say no??

    one day at a time.

    i've been dealing with weight loss struggles for most of my life. when i finally got in a place that i could take complete control over everything, i realized that trying to set long-term goals wasn't going to work. i had to focus on what was right in front of me, in small, easily handled increments.

    so each day i set a goal for myself... "today i will eat on plan and do whatever workout i've scheduled at the gym." that's it. if i don't meet those goals, i don't dwell on what happened the day before, but i focus a little bit harder on making sure i make my goal. all that matters is today. deal with tomorrow when it comes.

    each day i make my goal, it becomes a little bit easier to reach tomorrow's goal. after a while, you look back and realize that what was a focused goal is now a habit that you've been doing daily for the last month, or six.

    and as far as work shoving food in your face, a smile and a quick "no thank you" is all you need. compliment the looks, the smell, wish them a happy birthday/anniversary/promotion/birth/graduation/st. swithin's day, but don't let someone else dictate what you're going to eat. it's not their body, it's yours, and they need to respect that.

    Well put! Getting through each day, one at a time, will eventually payoff. And no,you don't have to be apart of each and everything darn celebration at work! Just say "no". It's not rude. It's your choice! I say it all the time.
  • Archerychickge
    Archerychickge Posts: 606 Member
    I think I would have to create a healthy stash of treats that I could enjoy in place of the naughty ones... Like instead of having cookies and brownies at work, maybe have a granola bar with your co-workers. When they see your resolve to stick to your plan, they may stop or at least lighten up on their constant temptation. Heck some of them may even join you in the process and start watching what they eat too, then you'd have a buddy to help you as well.

    At home, do the same thing. Keep a stash of good foods around that you can enjoy instead of the bad stuff. But don't deny yourself good things altogether. A cookie or a brownie every now and then won't kill your progress. Just be mindful of every bite you eat and log it. You can make almost anything fit into your daily goals if you stick with it.

    Heck, on days when I know I'm gonna be tempted with something really yummy, I'll save up calories through the day so I can enjoy a normal portion of the yummy stuff.

    It all about finding a balance that works for you. Good luck!
  • JustMeShelly
    JustMeShelly Posts: 4 Member
    I completely understand. I struggle with no "willpower" against junk. Buttttt I have learned that it's only uncomfortable for a few minutes when I say no thanks to the cupcake someone offers me. I often relate it to when I quit smoking. YOU CAN DO IT! :)
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
    Please try to think how you will be in six months IF you are still doing as you are -you will be not as you want.............. If you manage to get your head round the issue for today, then manage to hold it for another, again and again for the majority of six months .... you will be closer. If you are confronted by various temptations first thing you could say, "thank you, I had a very good breakfast and can't face anything more".
  • kjoac002
    kjoac002 Posts: 11 Member
    Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone! I just have to keep my eyes on the prize. I did say no to both the cookies and the brownies AND the invite to the mexican restaraunt for lunch. And hiding out in my cubicle seemed to help too lol
  • Tigelo
    Tigelo Posts: 2
    Trying to eat healthy in an office environment is hard, especially with the holidays. I know it is and will be a struggle for me. It's hard to pass by the donuts and homemade cookies. But I've been able to do it recently. I just say no and I feel good that I had the power to do it. Every time I say no, I feel little more powerful. Eat good whole food and the cravings for the bad stuff will not be so bad.
  • MamaRiss
    MamaRiss Posts: 481 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I think a common mistake is expecting and/or waiting for that feeling of motivation before making changes. Motivation may have been what started you on your journey, but expecting it to always be there and to rely on it is not realistic.

    I don't wait to feel motivated before I go to work, or clean the house, or do the laundry, etc. I do those things automatically because I need to. Same with eating healthy and exercising. Just do it! Don't WAIT to feel motivated first.

    This. I was pissed off this morning, didn't want to work out, do chores, or eat "healthy". But I did it. Still miserable, but I'm not losing the day do to lack of motivation. I have my days that I do just say screw it, I'm not doing it today. But I try my best to limit it to one day, and then get right back on track. As far as treats and junk, if I want it, I make it fit. As long as I keep active, I can afford to indulge in a treat and not go completely off the rails
  • Baconist
    Baconist Posts: 74 Member
    For home, I'd attempt separate food buying and meal preparing. This can be tough, I know. I share a kitchen with someone who is one of the decentest people I've ever known. Except getting very upset that I "dirty up the kitchen every time cook!" Whilst they eat more pizza in a week than I've eaten in my life time and makes loads and loads of pasta dishes (not good for the diabetes here).

    I ignore it or joke it off and continue to cook *and* clean up after myself, I even offer to share something I've made if (and I usually do) have enough to share.

    I was ordered to lose 50 pounds, I've no choice in the matter -- well okay, I could ignore the order and die before 51, I suppose -- this also helps keep the, er, comments to a minimum. "it's for health reasons" works every time.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Before I saw the end of your post I was just going to say learn to day no.

    Commit and do. You either want it and are prepared to pay the price or you dont. If you want it that badly, then it becomes easy to say no. If you have got the message that to get to the traget you simply have to consume less than you burn then it becomes a no brainer.

    1. Log everything.
    2. Bad food round the house, just ignore it but if you cant then maybe ask your sister to put it out of sight? Focus on what you will eat that day by filling your diary out and you should have your go to snacks as well plus any treats that you have worked into your plan.
    3. Earn extra calories by exercise. I use these as my reserve and even someone as fit as I can do enough to start burning more calories, even if its walking that little bit extra.
    4. Consider whether you need to go out 2x a week for food, maybe you could find another acctivity> If not is there any reason you cnat either pick something healthy or fit it into your diet.
    5. Workplace treats just say no or have half a cookie instead of a full one. Or one cookie instead of ten.

    You will start meeting your goals when you start implementing your deficit again.
    Depressed? Dont waste time on it you have places you wnat to be and goals you wnat to meet. You are doing great, look at the weight you have lost and make a new target as to how much you wnat to lose by Christmas or New Year. Keep logging and keep your deficit up.
  • haildodger
    haildodger Posts: 181 Member
    edited October 2014
    Instead of looking for motivation or some back bone, why don't you just be honest with yourself, and admit that you are not important enough to you. It's always easy to make excuses. These forums are full of them. It's a little tougher to say that right now, you're not important enough to you. When you should work out, but don't feel like it. When you over eat. Whenever you know you're making a poor choice. Every single time you choose something else over your health and well being, you're not important. So what does it matter if you drag yourself down...
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    the good news is that all of these things are within your control!
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    Can't help you with the problem at home, but I say no to work treats all the time. If everyone is gathered for something, I stand around with my mug of coffee and chit chat. I guess people assume I already had some, why else would I be there? And if someone tries to push something on me, I say no thanks I had a big breakfast/lunch and I'm still stuffed. For some reason people are fine with me saying I'm already stuffed, as opposed to I simply don't want something or worse, I'm watching what I'm eating...
  • kjoac002
    kjoac002 Posts: 11 Member
    HaiLDodger wrote: »
    Instead of looking for motivation or some back bone, why don't you just be honest with yourself, and admit that you are not important enough to you. It's always easy to make excuses. These forums are full of them. It's a little tougher to say that right now, you're not important enough to you. When you should work out, but don't feel like it. When you over eat. Whenever you know you're making a poor choice. Every single time you choose something else over your health and well being, you're not important. So what does it matter if you drag yourself down...

    If I wasnt important to me I wouldnt have lost 20 lbs to begin with nor would I be on here asking for advice. I know I havent been dilligent and I know I have to have more willpower and that is something I am working on. Thanks for the input though..
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    I got derailed and am trying to get back on track. I know if I wait around for the mood to strike, motivation to come along, it will be a long wait. I am doing what I can. Taking baby steps. My main goal right now is to maintain and not backslide. You can do this. If it all seems overwhelming just look at one task at a time. Unless you are in a hurry it won't matter if you took a little longer to lose the weight.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    ^
    ^
    ^
    ^
    What she said.

    All of it. My mantra is: "Make one good decision. Then make another." (And if you make a bad decision, think about how that felt at the next crossroads.) You can do this. It's like being in the batting cage without a bat. Grab a bat. You know how to hit all of this down, it's just a lot coming at you at once. <3
  • jennifurballs
    jennifurballs Posts: 247 Member
    Motivation is a tricky thing and it's different for all of us. There were a combination of things that initially motivated me to change my life, which I won't bore you with. However, staying strong for months, and even years, takes a mindset. You have to decide that your health is tantamount to any indulgence, office junk, whatever your weakness is. Until you know and believe that, you will not stick to your new life.

    I know and believe that I want to be healthy. Losing weight and feeling better is a huge motivator for me. Besides just losing weight, lifting weights, and becoming more fit has really helped. Also, having worked so hard at it, I don't want to undo all that by going back to my old, unhealthy way of life.

    Now that I'm approaching having lost 100 lbs., people in my family, or people who see me in the gym, tell me what an amazing thing I've accomplished or that they tell people about me because what I've done has inspired them. That's pretty freakin' cool, considering that I never in a million years thought I would inspire anyone to get healthy. It also makes me feel like a jerk, because I wouldn't be where I am today, had I not gained all that weight in the first place.

    I struggle every day to keep to my plan. It's particularly not easy because I have my son, who's 14 and can eat nearly anything he wants, and my mother, who's trying to kill herself slowly with booze and food, who live in my house. I don't restrict the food that I buy for them because it empowers me and I have to live in the real world, where there are temptations everywhere. If I can resist them in my own house, I can resist them anywhere. They've both had donuts and McDonalds for lunch today. I had a delicious salad with grilled chicken that was under 300 calories and was proud that I had that instead the crap they were eating.

    Whatever the reason(s) was that made you start your journey, remember it every time you're tempted to make a bad choice or blow off your exercise. Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels!!!

    Best of luck to you!

  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Have you tried logging consistently and accurately while eating at a reasonable net calorie deficit?
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    edited October 2014
    MamaRiss wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I think a common mistake is expecting and/or waiting for that feeling of motivation before making changes. Motivation may have been what started you on your journey, but expecting it to always be there and to rely on it is not realistic.

    I don't wait to feel motivated before I go to work, or clean the house, or do the laundry, etc. I do those things automatically because I need to. Same with eating healthy and exercising. Just do it! Don't WAIT to feel motivated first.

    This. I was pissed off this morning, didn't want to work out, do chores, or eat "healthy". But I did it. Still miserable, but I'm not losing the day do to lack of motivation. I have my days that I do just say screw it, I'm not doing it today. But I try my best to limit it to one day, and then get right back on track. As far as treats and junk, if I want it, I make it fit. As long as I keep active, I can afford to indulge in a treat and not go completely off the rails

    Me, rolling out of bed at 4:30 this morning: "F this F this F this F this F this F this ok now I'm working out".

    If only I *could* be like that with laundry! Laundry only gets done in desperation.

  • Justin_34
    Justin_34 Posts: 15 Member
    If you really want to lose weight and stick to your weight loss goals you have to learn to say no to junk food and stop eating out and buy your own food. It doesn't cost much to eat healthy. On top of that, try to exercise regulary, before work or right after you finish. It's really not that difficult to do. Once you get started it's much easier to stick to it long term.
  • At my work we have morning meetings that nearly always include pastries and bagels. I started bringing in a handful of nuts and a piece of fruit to eat in the meetings. I eat this while others are eating the junk. I was surprised how much it helped to be able to just eat while others were, even though it wasn't the same food. I think for me, it's feeling left out that creates the problem. Having to sit there and endure while others are sharing in the moment was hard.

    The fact that you've lost weight and are trending in the right direction means that, while this is a new challenge, it's not a derailment. It's time for adjustments, not all out do or die changes, just adjustments. Remember, the solution is never to just endure a situation like this and hope that willpower alone with get you through it, that is difficult and becomes self defeating. Create an action plan such as having emergency healthy snack food available at work. Or eat healthy beforehand. If possible, leave the room and/or take a walk. I've used all of these. I have also been frank with others about my diet. Several people have started to bring in fruit with their birthday cakes, brownies, etc. so that I can participate. This really surprised me. :smile: I still get the whole "oh come on one bite won't hurt" stuff, but when they do I get on my soapbox and lecture them about junkies and just one shot of a drug. If nothing else they back off just to shut me up.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    I just remembered something else which is to use the Food notes function in the diary to record my thoughts if I felt my diet was going off the rails. It just helps seeing it written and sometimes becomes clear what I need to do. I've also posted on my friends list for support - nice to get helpful suggestions and also realizing others are in the same boat and we can do it together.
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    Have you tried logging consistently and accurately while eating at a reasonable net calorie deficit?

    Actually this should be seriously considered. If OP you have your account maybe setup to 2 lbs per week right now, you could change it to 1 lb per week and you'd be able to fit a few more nice treats on a regular and controlled basis and still lose a good amount of weight. Sometimes the too aggressive deficit can be worse because we just cannot adhere and wind up having way too many splurge days, anyway

  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    You dont learn to say no. You do it. Simple.
  • kjoac002
    kjoac002 Posts: 11 Member
    The fact that you've lost weight and are trending in the right direction means that, while this is a new challenge, it's not a derailment. It's time for adjustments, not all out do or die changes, just adjustments. Remember, the solution is never to just endure a situation like this and hope that willpower alone with get you through it, that is difficult and becomes self defeating.

    LOVE THIS!!!
    To be honest its partly just laziness on my part. Its easier to say yes and to eat everything in sight. Its harder to be able to say no and if I could say no and stick to my guns before then I should have no problem doing it again. Life is all about temptation. I gotta learn somehow.
  • jonfitz1
    jonfitz1 Posts: 3 Member
    I always have a really hard time resisting snacks when working. At my last office there were biscuits and sweets out on display all the time! Plus the invites/birthdays like at your place.
    Suggestions :
    - Drink lots of water. Always have some on your desk. Take constant sips
    - Bring your own snacks (I found bananas the best) . Always choose them first
    - If you cant resist whats on offer, eat 1/2 of however much you *really* want

    Finally :
    - dont try to be perfect, but think about being good enough!