Kicking *kitten* In Our Twenties - April Challenge!!

Hey everyone - Happy Thursday!

Today I was a total ball of stress... The last little while I've been trying to teach myself not to need to plan SO much. Not to stress so much about the small, inconsequential stuff, because I know that my stress and anxiety is a) unjustified, b) not productive, and c) potentially self-destructive. I'm doing this by continuously reminding myself of what matters and when the urge to micro-manage crops up, I try to cram it back down and remember to just let things happen. Can't plan out every second of your day. But I notice that some days it's so much easier than others and today the fact that I hadn't made lists and planned heavily yesterday for my day today made me very, very, VERY anxious. I felt absolutely mad, to be perfectly honest, sooo disorganized and generally just completely out of control. I wish I had a dollar for every time I ask my folks what their plans are for the day/night/weekend or every time I make a grocery list, or ask my mom if she needs anything at the store, or hell how many times I go to the store in general! I went to 2 separate grocery stores and a whole foods store today, alone. And then when I got home I made a list of food items we need to get on Sat. I'm just constantly planning my meals days/weeks in advance because I stress so much about what I eat sometimes... I know I need to learn to be OK with feeling uncomfortable like this (it's like Yoga, right?) and that eventually I'll cool down a bit and mellow out, but right now I'm finding it just so overwhelming. Definitely a long way to go. It's so crazy to think that I've been so successful and changed so much of myself and my life in the last 2 years on this journey and yet I can still recognize that there is so much work left to be done on ME, emotionally and mentally. Seems like the physical part was easy in comparison! :noway:

My interview for summer employment with the Liquor Control Board was today and it was really, really well. Despite all my stress I think I really impressed them. I appeared calm, collected and very sociable. Definitely stressed my communication skills and ability to engage with people from all walks of life and they seemed pretty taken with me. The panel of interviewers were really upbeat and had a lot of interesting questions about my work experience (amid general horror at my current position and work environment) and when I left I could register a sense of genuine well-wishing from them all. Definitely feeling positive about the job and my prospects. I should hear back over the next week or two. Fingers will be crossed! :bigsmile:

Onto my responses - I've been slacking hard lately and always have a million things to say and never enough time to type them all out, so bear with me!

Aly - New day, new month, new commitment! It's all about getting back on track when you falter. I know you're going to do great :happy: And yes, we definitely missed you too! So get back here and gear up for some serious *kitten*-kicking! :bigsmile:

Em - Hope the bridal shower went really well and was everything you wanted it to be! Wedding stress + Easter is definitely tough on the body and the mind, so don't worry too much about your stall in progress. Once things get back to "normal" (whatever that is) I'm sure you'll start seeing results again! Just have to make sure you're committed and motivated and the rest will follow

Rai - Positive news is that despite everything weight-wise you are feeling better about how your body looks! Even if you did gain a pound or two, you looked at yourself and thought "Not too shabby, girl!" and that's a majorrrr victory! Whenever I get that "damnnn girl, get the scale, you look GOOD!" feeling I know I'm making progress because the old, overweight Meag would never EVER have seen progress on her body with her own two eyes. All I'd ever see was all the trouble spots. For the first 40lbs or so I was adamant every time my mom said I looked thinner or that I was losing weight - "Nope. Exactly the same. Still overweight." Relentless! We can totally be our own worse enemies, so thinking your tummy looked flatter and firmer is definitely a huge mental victory. Own it! As for beating yourself up about your motivation and falling off track, please consult every post I've made on this board in the last 3 months... I've been at this a long time and I know I've made MAJOR progress physically, but I still have so much work to do on me - It's totally a bummer some days knowing how much work I still have to do, but for some people this journey is just way way harder mentally and emotionally than for others. I often feel that moderation is the ultimate goal but life doesn't ever feel "moderate"... It's either all or nothing. I either give in and ice cream out of the carton every day or I buckle down and really commit to being healthy. Everything is a slippery slope for me and I sense that you are worried about the same sort of behaviours and outcomes. It's a tough balance and I'm not sure what advice to give. The best thing I can tell you is what I am trying to implement myself - Take each day at a time, constantly remind yourself of what's important versus what's inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, and try to give yourself a break. I've found recently that having a break from life and just doing something fun, where I can forget about food and weight and life for even just an hour or two, really helps to ground me again. As Guam said, don't lose sight of the journey, but make sure you give yourself a break once in a while and don't lose sight of everything and everyone outside of the journey while you're at it :happy:

Megan - Hope the foot fared well on your run today! Sounds like a bummer - I know how foot injuries can be. Take it easy if it's still bugging you. No sense making matters worse. You'll really want to kick yourself (with the good foot) if you mess it up - feet take ages to heal! :grumble: Lots of anti-inflammatories, rest, ice, compression and elevation (RICE) after your W/O if you can. Should be feeling better in a few days. If not, consult a physician

OK This is wayyy long and I need to get to work. Eeep! Three more shifts, ladies! Soooo excited to just get it over and done with. Thank goodness! :bigsmile: I've never been so happy to go to work in my life :laugh:

See you all tomorrow!

Lots to comment on today but I am just not up for it, ladies... I'm sorry :ohwell:

Rough day today. I always feel so rushed because I sleep in on Fridays after work and then have limited time to workout, fit in meals, and get my *kitten* together before work again tonight. I have no idea how you shift workers cope with this regularly... It makes me so, so anxious!

Weighed-in this AM at 123.2lbs and was pretty crushed. I have no idea why I'm losing. I ate a ton of stuff this weekend that I shouldn't have and definitely felt as though I had put on weight. My clothes were fitting differently and my body just looked "worse", for lack of a better term. I don't know what the hell happened. But I definitely do not want to be teetering too close to the 120 mark and 123 is way, way, way too low for me. Need to re-evaluate, but the stress of moving, last shifts at work, potential new job stuff and trying to organize my life before I head to Ottawa next weekend is consuming a lot of my emotional energy and I'm not sure I can really cope with that right now. So I'm going to log today but at an arms length from MFP and will not be logging on the weekend, once again. Taking some more time off.

I'll try to stay in touch and will post the new challenge tomorrow night before heading to work (I won't have access to a computer May 1st. I'd really appreciate you vets helping, as always, to keep the lists sorted and organized and to instruct the newbs on posting goals and how the group works. I'll do my best to be as clear as possible in the initial post, but I know that folks typically scan all that junk anyway Thanks ladies. Have a great Friday Much love!