Weightloss and Dating?

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Replies

  • veggiesaurus15
    veggiesaurus15 Posts: 152 Member
    When I first lost the weight, dating was very difficult for me because I thought I was bigger than I actually was. It has gotten so much easier for me. When I open up and can be myself, I have a great time.
  • acidosaur
    acidosaur Posts: 295 Member
    I've definitely noticed more attention (the good kind and the bad) but I think alot of it has to do with my confidence level, and the fact that I am putting myself out there again instead of just hiding away :)

    This, a thousand times. I am far more confident now.
  • estrobabe
    estrobabe Posts: 337 Member
    At my smallest weight, I got lots of attention but was in a relationship at that time. At my heaviest, no attention at all. Now that I lost most of the weight and I'm single, very little attention to none in reality. Trying to stay patient here! Lol
  • shutterbug282
    shutterbug282 Posts: 588 Member
    I get more attention than I used to, but I think that's just because I feel better about myself and walking tall, and I don't slouch and try and stay invisible anymore. Hah.
  • MusicInMyHeart
    MusicInMyHeart Posts: 179
    I've definitely noticed that I'm getting more attention. None of it has lead to anybody asking me out yet. But, honestly, I think it's because I'm more confident about myself and the energy that I'm projecting out. Before I was pretty miserable with myself so that's how people probably perceived me.

    People want to be around happy people! Not the cranky *****y kind. Once your mindset about yourself changes so will the opposite sex :)
  • johnsjes
    johnsjes Posts: 20 Member
    I have to agree that I do notice more attention from guys but I think it's because I walk around "taller" and I feel like I'm in a much better mood. I think you just send out much more welcoming vibes when you feel confident and healthy.

    I have noticed with this confidence I feel like I deserve a different type of guy. More athletic and successful and as confident as I'm starting to feel. I just don't know if my perception of what I'm moving myself toward and what I want in a guy are matching up.
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
    I was married 20 years, gained a ton of weight because I was miserable (for a chunk of the time I didn't even realize I was miserable... it had become routine). I started losing weight and realized I needed to lose the husband, too. He had sucked the self-esteem right out of me and I had begun to find it again. I wasn't going to let him do it to me again! I lost almost 70 pounds, and in my late 50's looked and felt better than I had in my 20's. I started getting LOTS of attention... far more than I even did when I was young and single. I did the online dating thing, met some wonderful (and a few not so wonderful) men, some of whom are still good friends, and met the man I am now married to. Since being married to him I regained 17 pounds, not because I was miserable, but because high calorie foods became part of our celebration. I got a grip on it and have lost 16 of those pounds. I have to say that dating after losing that 70 pounds was so much fun and so ego boosting! Meeting and marrying the man of my dreams made it all that much sweeter! I doubt if I hadn't lost the weight if I ever would have even met him. I wouldn't have had the confidence to even start looking.
  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
    Duh.
  • InPieces3
    InPieces3 Posts: 215
    Well.... for me I have been a lot more *Confident*.... and I've seen men flock to me where as before I'd never get asked.

    So that is a yes for me, however it has a lot to do with my confidence too! I feel WAY better than I did last year this time.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Life is not fair then you die. Guess like the fat joke goes being with a fat woman is like being on a moped. Fun to ride until your friends see you on it.
  • sarahlouise7
    sarahlouise7 Posts: 198 Member
    I have a question for those that have lost weight and are single... have you found dating to have gotten easier after you loss weight? Like, do more people find you attractive than before?

    Im currently in the dating game and iv found that its given me the confidence to date. The guys iv dated have all said wonderful things and say i look amazing which is a great boost, but many of them say they love my curves so i hope i dont lose that with my dieting ;) And as im on a dating site, they often comment that i look smaller in person than my pics and that my pics dont do me justice. So, for me, its a lovely boost to my confidence. So in that respect its got easier :)
  • cheyan3009
    cheyan3009 Posts: 6 Member
    I notice more attention than I did before but it hasnt translated into any dates. The other thing I've noticed is that different types of men seem to be interested in me than before.

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  • nhradeuce
    nhradeuce Posts: 168 Member
    My wife would be really mad if I started dating, but I have definitely noticed a lot more positive attention from the ladies. Even my wife's co-workers are making comments (I think it's boosting her ego as well as mine). As others have mentioned, a big part of that is the way you carry yourself when you have self confidence.

    One thing that some of you ladies that are not having as much luck should consider - many men are intimidated by confident beautiful women. Not only are they hard to approach due to fear of rejection, most probably assume a woman that hot is already taken.
  • mattstrand
    mattstrand Posts: 18
    I have gotten more attention but I it's usually girls already dating a guy. Have been hit on by a couple of guys to which is ackward to tell them I'm straight and no ty. So yeah I don't know of they are just being nice now that I'm smaller or what. I don't see myself much different. I just tell them they are full of crap when they say I look good
  • wendytc
    wendytc Posts: 189 Member
    My wife would be really mad if I started dating, but I have definitely noticed a lot more positive attention from the ladies. Even my wife's co-workers are making comments (I think it's boosting her ego as well as mine). As others have mentioned, a big part of that is the way you carry yourself when you have self confidence.

    One thing that some of you ladies that are not having as much luck should consider - many men are intimidated by confident beautiful women. Not only are they hard to approach due to fear of rejection, most probably assume a woman that hot is already taken.

    Good point!
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    I spent most of my life as a recipient of unwanted attention. I loved that when I gained weight men stopped cat calling and propositioning me. Now I went shopping yesterday and got hit on 4 times, still 233 lbs!!! WTF?!?!?
  • shrinkingviolet1913
    shrinkingviolet1913 Posts: 7
    When I was 125, I couldn't walk down the street without some guy trying to get my attention, trying to chat me up, making some sort of comment or even following me! At 200 pounds, nothing at all. You become invisible. They're not rude---you simply don't exist as a romantic interest anymore. Now that I've dropped a few, I'm seeing an uptick in the attention but not nearly at the level as when I was under 130.
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
    Awkward30 wrote: »
    It's weird. I definitely get more attention from men... but it hasn't really translated to them asking me out. I suppose maybe I'm bad at flirting or hinting that I'm interested.

    Haha, you have to beat them over the head; they aren't that swift! I suck at flirting too but my friend told me that if you smile a lot it makes you very approachable. And I think eye contact works. It might be that you look "too" good now and they are intimidated. LOL. Good luck.
  • laineybz
    laineybz Posts: 704 Member
    I don't think people find me more physically attractive now i've lost weight, i think because i'm more confident in myself more people may find my personality/persona more attractive and approachable.
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
    jazzalea wrote: »
    definitely lots of interest.... but I don't know how to get to the other side..... when it comes to dating.... I still feel 320 on the inside :tongue:

    I read you profile and it's very deep and inspirational. Very few people could do what you did. You are really strong and deserve the best of everything and the best from others. You are not still 320 and even if you were it doesn't mean you aren't a great person. You shot for the stars to achieve your weightloss. Shoot for the stars to make sure your confidence and self worth are there.
  • MisterZ33
    MisterZ33 Posts: 567 Member
    i get the same attention i always did...i never did get a lot of attention with the ladies, but i am fine with that. i think women are drawn more so to charm and humour above anything else. i think i always left a good impression.

    besides, my wife would give me a swift kick in the sack if i started dating.
  • Uhfgood
    Uhfgood Posts: 128 Member
    I've never dated (social anxiety). When I had lost all my weight back in 2010-2011 I might have noticed a few more looking at me, but not really that much attention. Of course women are less visual, which means they tend to look at other things rather than your looks (like confidence, or a sense of humor, both of which I lack). I have to say though ladies, most men are not looking at you for your self-confidence. You may think so since that's partly what you look for, but take it from a guy who likes looking at beautiful women, If I'm interested in you, I'm probably staring at your figure :-P (Not to say we're all shallow, it's just the first thing that attracts us.) And for you guys who disagree I only say "most" not "all" - YMMV.
  • bootcamp85
    bootcamp85 Posts: 64 Member
    MusicInMyHeart wrote: »
    I've definitely noticed that I'm getting more attention. None of it has lead to anybody asking me out yet. But, honestly, I think it's because I'm more confident about myself and the energy that I'm projecting out. Before I was pretty miserable with myself so that's how people probably perceived me.

    People want to be around happy people! Not the cranky *****y kind. Once your mindset about yourself changes so will the opposite sex :)

    When a person is confident about themselves, that definitely says alot and it shows....
    Confidence is sexy/ attractive big or small

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