Need Ideas for my overweight Daughter

What color is the sky on your planet where 250 calories is an appropriate lunch for a teenaged girl? My god, I'm a short, middle-aged woman and I'm losing a pound a week on more like a 600 calorie lunch, and I'm still pretty eager for dinner when dinnertime rolls around.

The bottom of that binge eating might honestly be that you're restricting food enough that she's genuinely hungry.

The idea that you're choosing a sport for her is also insane. I get requiring a physical activity. But let her choose what she's into.

I understand your concern for your daughter but I just pled to you to go about it in a healthy way. I think instead of putting her on some sort of diet all around you should just have only healthy choices in your home, no cookies, or chips or ice cream. Also this could back fire on you if you are not picking your words carefully and she could develop an eating disorder. Being young is hard and knowing that you are overweight makes it hard it sounds like you can relate to her and are not trying to make it worse and just care. I personally eat over 300 cals for lunch and need it I imagine if you are younger you need more. I think instead you need to as I said make healthy home choices and instead of couching it right after school or work go for a walk or to the park and play. Grade 7 is too early to put dieting thoughts in her head you are the parent and control whats in the home so just make it a healthy environment.

It's possible that she doesn't like to talk about her weight because you are attacking her about it. Young girls live in a world that conditions them to feel uncomfortable with their bodies. If she's starting high school in a year and a half, then she's at a very difficult time in life. If she feels like you're shaming her for her weight, that won't help anyone.

I think the best advice I can give you is for you to really examine your motivations here. Choosing her sports for her and limiting her to 250 calorie lunches + fruit, saying that she can't eat lunch at school- those are all incredibly restricting, controlling choices for you to make as a parent. They're more likely to hurt her than to help her.

Everyone accepts it when young boys of the same age eat their parents out of house and home, because they're "growing boys" and need the energy. Remember that your daughter is a growing girl too when you think about restricting her calories that much. It's not safe.

The best thing you can do is let her know that you love her, no matter what her weight is. You can live a healthy life style yourself, but forcing an overly restrictive one on her is A) not healthy at all, and b) wouldn't help her to lose weight anyway. If she's going to make the choice to live healthier, she will have to do it herself. Even children don't react well to life style changes that are forced on them, regardless of the fact that you're the parent and you make the rules, or whatever that rationale might be.

In fact, the trend seems to be that children whose parents force diets on them have lower self esteem and are more likely to exhibit ED behavior in the future.

My mom suggested I start jogging the summer before I started high school. I wasn't overweight but I wasn't doing anything active. I started with short distances at a slow pace. It wouldn't have occurred to me if she hadn't suggested it and I wasn't offended. I started running more and more and made varsity cross country by my sophomore year. It definitely helped me develop healthy exercise and eating habits at a time when a lot of kids eat a ton of junk food. I am grateful to my mom for instilling good habits in me at a young, impressionable age. Her attitude was basically like, you're young, get out there and do something active! I wouldn't worry so much about offending your daughter. Now is the time to influence her. Before too long she'll be in college and on her own. Barring any illnesses, there's no reason she can't be a healthy, active teenager with your guidance.

Support her. Dont throw her weight in her face at all times. Also trying cooking healthy. By doing small things it will help her in the long run. Trust me I have been in her position.

As the mom of a 15 year old daughter I can tell you that nine times out of ten, she won't want to do anything if you're the one who suggests it. Create an atmosphere where healthy eating and exercise are easy choices to make, but leave her open to making them. Restricting and insisting will only lead to rebellion and possibly, as a poster above suggested, sneaky eating.

Wish I could find the gif for "I said a healthy snack Rebecca!!!" LOL

Sounds like you and I are in the same boat. My son is in 7th grade and even since I can remember he has been " chunky". For our family, competition is a great thing with some kind of silly reward at the end. Example, the winner got to throw a pie in the other family members face. My 12 year old won cuz he didn't want his 14 year old brother to be able to pie him.

Unfortunately, teenagers don't really like to take much advice from parents. From ages 13-18 you're going to be her enemy. She'll love you more than ever once she hits her 20's, though.

See if any of her friends play any sports or are active. Talk to their parents and try to get the kids to do it together. Just don't...embarrass her. Being an overweight teenager was one of the worst things for me and I am a guy with little social pressure to "look sexy." She knows what she needs to do. She just needs supportive friends and a fun/safe environment.

Maybe you could work a little harder on letting your daughter know you love her the way she is, so she can learn to love herself instead of trying to force her to lose weight. You are essentially saying "You aren't good enough the way you are." Why don't you try some positive reinforcement, and get down to the brass tacks of WHY she overeats? It could be depression or maybe self-image issues (since her mom is telling her she's fat and has to lose weight). Most people binge eat for a sense of control. It sounds like she needs to see a therapist. Also, maybe you could exercise together, and let her pick the routine, give her back a sense of control.