When does a doctor get mad?

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2

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  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    Hockey_Winger wrote: »
    The key to a good pun is to not limit the audience, but I have to do this one anyway...

    Why is Skrillex so bad at fishing?


    He keeps dropping the Bass.....

    Ouch! But you don't pronounce them the same way.
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
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    5b726.jpg
  • sadiegirl32
    sadiegirl32 Posts: 181 Member
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    kxbrown27 wrote: »
    Last Halloween this kid came to my house dressed as a pirate. I said, "Hey, where are your Buccaneers?" He replied, "Under my Buccan hat!"

    Got to love a clever kid!!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Dr (Calling his patient): Your Tests came back. I've got good news and bad news.

    Patient: What's the good news?

    Dr.: You've got 24 hours to live?

    Patient: That's the good news? What's the bad news?

    Dr. : I was supposed to call you yesterday.
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
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    A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.

    A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open again and he said, "Hey, You're cute!" and fell back asleep

    A few more minutes later and his eyes slowly open and he said, "You're not half bad!"

    Well, the wife was very dissapointed because she has gone from "beautiful" to just "not half bad."

    "What happened to 'beautiful'?" she asked.

    "The drugs are wearing off!"
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
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    Credit where credit's due: I heard this one on the Prairie Home Companion joke show.

    Man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Cling Wrap. Psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
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    Hehe, very cute!!!
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
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    knitapeace wrote: »
    Credit where credit's due: I heard this one on the Prairie Home Companion joke show.

    Man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Cling Wrap. Psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

    Hahahahahahah
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    A doctor asks a patient:
    - Sir, were you using a condom during the last time you had sex?
    - Doctor, what do you mean by “the last time”?

  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says:
    If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons.

  • deucemon69
    deucemon69 Posts: 647 Member
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    What do you call a person with no body and no nose?

    Nobody Knows :smile:
  • free1220
    free1220 Posts: 416 Member
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    What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits the windshield?
    His *kitten*.
  • free1220
    free1220 Posts: 416 Member
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    free1220 wrote: »
    What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits the windshield?
    His *kitten*.

  • AnutChelle
    AnutChelle Posts: 51 Member
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    How do you tell a boy moose from a girl moose?
    By their moose stash.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    lloydrt wrote: »
    A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says:
    If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTysEWopf1KpzXjVOHec8WzG7cx5dDY0ym0UA_zXLRxwNcplYRs
  • debsdoingthis
    debsdoingthis Posts: 454 Member
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    Hockey_Winger wrote: »
    5b726.jpg
    LOL

  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    anyone here phobic? this is funny

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhUmeRBjyGU
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
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    Holiday time:

    How come skeletons don't like going to clubs?

    Cause they got no body to dance with.


    3S2bWK8.gif


  • smstrachan6288
    smstrachan6288 Posts: 12 Member
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    A Dyslexic walks into a bra...
  • Hockey_Winger
    Hockey_Winger Posts: 1,164 Member
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    How do you fix a leaky Jack-o-Lantern?


    A pumpkin patch.

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