10 year age difference

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  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    If I may go into Mom mode for a moment... You think you're mature and have things figured out, but trust me, as someone who very clearly remembers her early 20s (man those were fun times) and is now looking back nearly 20 years later, you have no clue what life has to bring yet. Which is totally ok, you're young and you're supposed to be having fun and figuring all that out. Just don't fool yourself into thinking you've got it all worked out already and this guy could be the one based on 3 days of dating. Give it time, get to know each other, use your head.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    ilfaith wrote: »
    You just started dating three days ago...it's a bit early to start picking out a china pattern. Just take it slowly and see how it goes. Ten years isn't a big deal when you are both consenting adults, especially if you are at similar stages in your life.

    I want to see a post where a guy is doing this. Not a guy looking for a "cougar," just a regular guy. You should see the unrealistic expectations on Match.com.
  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
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    My man is 10 years older. I've always gone for the older men.
  • mfletcher2013
    mfletcher2013 Posts: 8 Member
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    Not at all! I met by boyfriend (now husband) when I was 22 and he was 32. Fourteen years later we still strong! The only difference I have ever really noticed was our taste in music, lol.
  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
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    If he's solid and you guys are happy, no problem!
    (*)
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
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    So OP? how is it going?
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,255 Member
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    My husband is 15 years older than I am. We've been married for 17 years. I was 30 when we met. Not sure I would have been a good thing at 23. But yeah, his music sucks!
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
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    Dude, it's been three days. Chill out and see what happens.
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
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    I've dated guys 10-12 years younger and some older. I'm not so concerned about the age here...it's the fact that you don't want to go to school and hang-onto someone that worries me. I don't think he's the one stopping you considering its been a week? Check yourself and make your own identity.
  • 111YoYo111
    111YoYo111 Posts: 213 Member
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    I want to see a post where a guy is doing this. Not a guy looking for a "cougar," just a regular guy. You should see the unrealistic expectations on Match.com.
    [/quote]

    And OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish. Sometimes it seems as though most men want to date someone young enough to be their daughter. GROSS.
  • Frostbitten007
    Frostbitten007 Posts: 84 Member
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    Joannah700 wrote: »
    My first boyfriend was 10 years older than me, when I was 18? 19? After that my best guy friend was 13 years older and eventually I married someone 6 years older me.

    Age doesn't matter if you're getting the connection you want/need with the other person.

    That being said, talking marriage/kids when you only started dating? Have you known this guy for a long time and you discussed this before entering the relationship? You have time, and while it's nice that he meets all your 'check boxes' - it's not the most important thing in a relationship. Take your time, get to know him, and ENJOY dating. Live it up.

    I've known him about 9 months before we started dating. We were friends first before it turned into more than just friends. We are going on our first official date Thursday to a Halloween party. Not sure how much alone time we will have since there will be about 80 people there. When you first start dating someone, I think it's best to get to know them in a group setting. That way they don't try and take advantage of you. If we were alone, I would think he would be more focused on having sex with me. Trust me I know from past experiences.

    My mom's friend married someone 14 years older than her when she was about my age. Now she's in her 50's and he's in his 60s and they are still happily married.

    I know I just started dating him. I will give it time.

    I've always been attracted to older men. Guys I know that are my age are too immature for my liking.
  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
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    I'm also 23 and my boyfriend is 29. I feel like sometimes it's a huge gap, given how young I am. I may be mature for my age, but there's some things he's miles ahead of me with.
    There's also plenty of things I feel we match perfectly, or I am ahead of him with. So as long as we keep the lines of communication open, and he knows what things I'm struggling with maturity wise, it works. We talk a lot, and I feel like it works. The thing to remember is that age is more than just a number,. Yes maturity and life experiences come into play, it's foolish to think that it doesn't. But that doesn't mean it can't be worked through.
  • onewarmmomma
    onewarmmomma Posts: 222 Member
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    Frostbitten007 wrote: »
    So, I'm dating this guy 10 years older than me. I'm 23, he's 33. We just started dating 3 days ago. He's nice and all and I really like him. I was wondering if there's too much of an age difference.

    Nope. The guy I dated before my husband was 17 years older than me. It wasn't the age difference that did us in, it was the long distance relationship
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
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    my boyfriend is 13 years older than me and I've never had such a healthy, positive relationship. We want the same things and I think that's what's important and the only time an age gap can cause a problem - e.g. if he was ready for kids and you aren't for a few years etc.
  • mikeshockley
    mikeshockley Posts: 684 Member
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    chrisskellinton wrote: »
    mikeshockley wrote: »
    I get what people are saying (as long as you're happy, etc). You asked for our opinions. A 10 year age difference might not be that big a deal if you were 30 and he was 40, but 23 to 33 is too much. IMO, you're too young to be dating someone 10 years older. But, if you're happy and it works, who am I to say.
    but you still commented.

    You're very observant.
  • Frostbitten007
    Frostbitten007 Posts: 84 Member
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    nicola8989 wrote: »
    my boyfriend is 13 years older than me and I've never had such a healthy, positive relationship. We want the same things and I think that's what's important and the only time an age gap can cause a problem - e.g. if he was ready for kids and you aren't for a few years etc.

    We haven't even talked about kids yet. It's only been 4 days. I do want kids in the future. Financially right now, not sure I am ready. Not even sure I can physically get pregnant. I have problems with my period almost always being late. But, all the tests come back clean. He's always talking about his two nephews and how he babysits them. So, I can make the assumption that he's good with kids.
  • _BearNecessities_
    _BearNecessities_ Posts: 432 Member
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    Frostbitten007 wrote: »
    Joannah700 wrote: »
    My first boyfriend was 10 years older than me, when I was 18? 19? After that my best guy friend was 13 years older and eventually I married someone 6 years older me.

    Age doesn't matter if you're getting the connection you want/need with the other person.

    That being said, talking marriage/kids when you only started dating? Have you known this guy for a long time and you discussed this before entering the relationship? You have time, and while it's nice that he meets all your 'check boxes' - it's not the most important thing in a relationship. Take your time, get to know him, and ENJOY dating. Live it up.

    I've known him about 9 months before we started dating. We were friends first before it turned into more than just friends. We are going on our first official date Thursday to a Halloween party. Not sure how much alone time we will have since there will be about 80 people there. When you first start dating someone, I think it's best to get to know them in a group setting. That way they don't try and take advantage of you. If we were alone, I would think he would be more focused on having sex with me. Trust me I know from past experiences.

    My mom's friend married someone 14 years older than her when she was about my age. Now she's in her 50's and he's in his 60s and they are still happily married.

    I know I just started dating him. I will give it time.

    I've always been attracted to older men. Guys I know that are my age are too immature for my liking.

    I'm sorry....what???? How are you "dating" this guy when you haven't even been on a date yet? So many red flags in this post. Wow....just....wow.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    I would date 10 years older, but that's probably my limit.
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
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    The more I read, the more I feel it is you who is immature. So yes, find a guy your own age
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
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    How are you "dating for 3 days" but you have your first date in 2 days? Someone asked you out for a date on a Thursday and you already see it as serious/dating?

    Here's how the terminology works in my neck of the woods:
    1. Guy asks girl on date (or the other way around, or guy asks guy, or girl asks girl. Whatever). This stage is called, "So I met this new guy" or "I have a date on Thursday" or "I just started seeing this new guy."
    2. Couple goes on a few dates. About 1-2 months pass. Couple becomes exclusive (not seeing any other people). This happens because there is an explicit conversation. Now it is, "I have a boyfriend." "I am dating Bob." "Bob and I are exclusive."
    3. A few more dates/1-2 months more, "I Love You."

    Relationships break down when one person expects the above scenario (which I have seen repeated by my friends time and time again) and something else happens, like, "But we never talked about being exclusive!" "I Love you!" "I ... have been dating other people all along." It sounds like you are trying to skip ahead to step 2.

    PS: If you have to ask, then you already have your answer.

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