Me vs The Scale

May be he is trying to help you. Using your scale three times a day is a little excessive

Your weight fluctuates throughout the day, so you'll never get the same readings. That's why it's recommended to only step on it first thing in the morning, after using the bathroom and before eating. It sounds like he's trying to help you understand that you are obsessed with it and need to step back.

spulsifer92 wrote: »

My parents told me if I didn't stop how i was treating myself they were going to take me to the hospital. so i stopped. Everyone knows they just don't talk about it. I'm scared to tell my doctor. I don't want to have to go to treatment and talk about feeling and emotions.

This is just repressing the problem. This sort of action doesn't actually resolve the underlying issue. As someone who has struggled with mental health, I can tell you that if you don't resolve underlying issues, the problem will not go away and will continue to seep insidiously into your life no matter how much you try to repress it.

I know talking about things can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, but there's no other way to convey what's going on in your head to someone who has the training and experience to help you straighten things out.

ETA your fiancé is trying to help you. It's like the people who verbally bonk me over the head and tell me to eat even when I have zero desire and energy to do so. They do it because they care about me and because not eating regularly makes my mood tank dangerously

spulsifer92 wrote: »

My parents told me if I didn't stop how i was treating myself they were going to take me to the hospital. so i stopped. Everyone knows they just don't talk about it. I'm scared to tell my doctor. I don't want to have to go to treatment and talk about feeling and emotions.

If you don't learn to talk about your feelings and emotions, you are going to have problems making your relationship last with your fiance. He is clearly trying to help you because he loves you, and you feel like he is treating you like a child. You two will need to work that out, but beyond that, you need to get better for yourself.

It is very difficult for people with an eating disorder to work through their issues on their own, so I would definitely recommend finding a specialist who works with eating disorders. You may have upped your calories, but you are clearly still dealing with disordered behaviors (the repetitive weighing) and feelings.

spulsifer92 wrote: »

I know he means well. Its just really hard for me. I like to see my weight go down durring the day. Thats why I do it. But I weigh myself 1. when i get up 2. after i workout 3. after my shower 4. when i go home for lunch 5. when i get home after work 6. after my pm workout. 7. after supper 8. before bed..... Then I cry because i "gained" 2+ lbs

You sound a little bit like me except for the last part (and I'm more like 3x a day not 8). I get on the scale a lot but more just out of curiosity and to see the trend of how my weight fluctuates. It's helpful to me but I never let it upset me because I know there is NO way I "gained" a pound or two overnight. I eat at a large deficit so there is zero chance I consumed 3500-7500 calories surplus. I understand if you have an ED you probably know that but still get consumed by it anyway. I am an alcoholic so I can certainly relate to irrational/over the top behavior (which is what I attribute for the fact that I weigh myself so much) and I agree with what Leah said. You need to work on yourself on the inside and find the root causes behind your feelings and emotions. Do this for you because you are worth it!

I guess I should have also addressed the original topic...I can understand both sides. I have no doubt your fiancee is well meaning in taking and hiding your scale but you are an adult and if you don't want to work on your ED no one can force you into it. Maybe talk to him about a compromise like he can put your scale out in the morning and you can weigh yourself first thing after you pee before you eat or exercise and then he puts it up until the next morning or something like that. There needs to be a healthy balance on both sides so no one is getting 100% what they want but instead something you can both live with.

spulsifer92 wrote: »

Well I kinda wanted people to tell me that I was right for being upset. But the more comments and the more I type in response I just feel horrible and pathetic. Just kinda validating that I have a problem i guess...

Your fiance loves you and is worried about you. Your extremely lucky to have someone in your life who cares that much. Most single women (like me) would give anything to be with someone like that.

Please seek treatment for your ED issues before he gives up on you.

Listen, I had a boss about 10 years ago who divorced his first with because he couldn't deal with her eating disorder any more. If you don't want that happening to you then get help.

Sorry if I sound mean I'm just giving you some tough love.

You're not crazy, an ED is a legitimate illness. There are always going to be people who look down on illnesses like ED, addiction, anxiety, depression and other mental health issues because they are either not educated on the illness or they are just set in their way and don't want to learn and they will view those people as "weak, lazy, crazy, etc". If people do think less of you what's the worst that can happen? Do those people really matter? You have people (at least one, your fiancee) who not only loves you but wants to try to help treat your illness. He doesn't know what else to do. Do what you need to do for yourself so you can find true inner peace and happiness. Keep in mind this saying we use in AA: "What other people think of me is none of my business" What they think is on them it doesn't have anything to do with you.