Fed up of slim friends making me feel worthless and fat.....

Options
13»

Replies

  • vlheureux
    vlheureux Posts: 34
    Options
    I know how you feel sister. My friends don't do it on purpose either; my best friends are both short and stick thin but eat like there's no tomorrow. I'm taller than them, chubbier than I'd like to admit, eat salad for two meals a day, and feel like a cow beside two giselles. But I'm slowly shedding the weight, and I can't wait until I can agree to wear a bikini and go to the beach beside them while not feeling like every guy looks at me as the ugly friend.
  • KameHameHaaaa
    KameHameHaaaa Posts: 837 Member
    Options
    Friends don't do that. I used to keep people like that in my life. And y'know what? It only made me feel bad, triggered emotional eating etc. I felt like I was just supposed to be the fat friend/punchline/there to make others look better. THAT'S NOT HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS. My old coworkers/"friends" posted this once at my old job in the kitchen. EVERYONE saw it and at the time I just laughed with them all because that's just what I did. 8 years later I still have the picture of it just as a reminder of what I don't want in my life: People that do this kinda ****. I've lost almost 90 lbs since I stopped hanging out with those people too, self-esteem and confidence is slowly coming back.

    vauf2z4fn2k9.jpg
  • wmcmurray61
    wmcmurray61 Posts: 192 Member
    Options
    I agree. That is not a friend as I know friends to be. I have friends of all shapes and sizes and colors and sexual orientations. They are my friends because I love who they are inside. It's easy to be pretty and thin and ugly on the inside. And shallow. Incredibly shallow.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
    Options
    get new friends….
  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
    Options
    If there is one thing I have learned over the years it's that we teach people how to treat us. I got rid of the toxic people in my life. If they aren't helping then they are hurting. Sometimes you just have to delete people you care about out of your life. Doesn't mean you don't care about them, it means you care about you more and you are who you have to live with for the rest of your life.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    Nobody can "make" you feel these things. This is on you letting them do what they are doing to you.

    Step back and think whether they are actually doing what you think, or if you are taking what they are doing in a way that they might not mean it to be taken.

    (I.e. friendly joking and you are being overly sensitive about it).

    If they really are treating you as you claim, then those aren't friends you should be keeping in your life.
  • WW_Jude_V2
    WW_Jude_V2 Posts: 209 Member
    Options
    KameHameHaaaa wrote: »
    Friends don't do that. I used to keep people like that in my life. And y'know what? It only made me feel bad, triggered emotional eating etc. I felt like I was just supposed to be the fat friend/punchline/there to make others look better. THAT'S NOT HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS. My old coworkers/"friends" posted this once at my old job in the kitchen. EVERYONE saw it and at the time I just laughed with them all because that's just what I did. 8 years later I still have the picture of it just as a reminder of what I don't want in my life: People that do this kinda ****. I've lost almost 90 lbs since I stopped hanging out with those people too, self-esteem and confidence is slowly coming back.

    vauf2z4fn2k9.jpg

    I have no words for this. Sorry this happened to you.....smh.
  • Miss_1999
    Miss_1999 Posts: 747 Member
    Options
    KameHameHaaaa wrote: »
    Friends don't do that. I used to keep people like that in my life. And y'know what? It only made me feel bad, triggered emotional eating etc. I felt like I was just supposed to be the fat friend/punchline/there to make others look better. THAT'S NOT HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS. My old coworkers/"friends" posted this once at my old job in the kitchen. EVERYONE saw it and at the time I just laughed with them all because that's just what I did. 8 years later I still have the picture of it just as a reminder of what I don't want in my life: People that do this kinda ****. I've lost almost 90 lbs since I stopped hanging out with those people too, self-esteem and confidence is slowly coming back.

    vauf2z4fn2k9.jpg


    *HUGE HUGS* I am beyond sorry. You're absolutely right- that's NOT acceptable, and that is NOT what friends do. Friends are loving and supportive. They're here to lift us higher, and support us, not make fun of us and bring us down. Anyone who is making you feel bad about yourself for who you are, isn't your friend, or someone you want to be around. A true friend, loves and accepts you, regardless of your size or what you look like. I would NEVER, EVER speak a word to any of my friends, EVER about their weight unless it were a *LITERAL* life or death situation, or their heath were seriously at risk and I knew this, and then, it would NOT be in a demeaning or hurtful manner. It would be me asking what I can do to help, because I love them, and want to have them with me for many years to come.

  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry your friendships are not feeling good to you right now. The answer is simple, either change your friends, or change yourself.
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
    Options
    KameHameHaaaa wrote: »
    Friends don't do that. I used to keep people like that in my life. And y'know what? It only made me feel bad, triggered emotional eating etc. I felt like I was just supposed to be the fat friend/punchline/there to make others look better. THAT'S NOT HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS. My old coworkers/"friends" posted this once at my old job in the kitchen. EVERYONE saw it and at the time I just laughed with them all because that's just what I did. 8 years later I still have the picture of it just as a reminder of what I don't want in my life: People that do this kinda ****. I've lost almost 90 lbs since I stopped hanging out with those people too, self-esteem and confidence is slowly coming back.

    vauf2z4fn2k9.jpg

    That is disgusting.
    I think it speaks volumes about them as people.
    I would have marched straight up HR and lodged a formal complaint.

  • QueenE_
    QueenE_ Posts: 522 Member
    Options
    My two very close friends are very supportive. My acquaintances like to make rude remarks.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Options
    I dont assume that my friends are so shallow and insipid that they look at each other that way. Well actually I just know they aren't because I wouldn't have become friends with them. If your friends tell you that you are fat, you need to not be their friends. If you are just basing this on what you think is happening, then they need to get new friends.
  • Drea_h85
    Drea_h85 Posts: 312 Member
    Options
    Those aren't friend drop em like it's hot!
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
    Options
    Not until I started losing weight. Then people started letting their 'ugly' show. Not surprisingly, as I lost weight, I lost friends, too. Friends should be supportive. If someone is putting you down, they're not your friend.
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
    Options
    999tigger wrote: »
    Be nice if the OP could just clarify whether its intentional acts by the friends or its just how she feels. Depending which one it is the answers are quite different.

    Also, this.

    Because when I was overweight, it was how I felt.

    As I lost weight, it was intentional acts.

    Both situations are very different from one another.
  • catb58
    catb58 Posts: 239 Member
    Options
    KameHameHaaaa wrote: »
    Friends don't do that. I used to keep people like that in my life. And y'know what? It only made me feel bad, triggered emotional eating etc. I felt like I was just supposed to be the fat friend/punchline/there to make others look better. THAT'S NOT HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS. My old coworkers/"friends" posted this once at my old job in the kitchen. EVERYONE saw it and at the time I just laughed with them all because that's just what I did. 8 years later I still have the picture of it just as a reminder of what I don't want in my life: People that do this kinda ****. I've lost almost 90 lbs since I stopped hanging out with those people too, self-esteem and confidence is slowly coming back.

    vauf2z4fn2k9.jpg

    And this is why I seldom count co-workers as friends. Friends choose each other. You make the best of your co-workers...or not...do what you can to keep things at a peaceful co-existence.

    I have distanced myself from a friend of 20 years who acts unhappy that I've been losing weight more steadily on MFP than she is on WW. I got tired of little comments and urgings to "eat this...it has no points." She was quickly becoming a "frenemy." There is no longer any place in my life for people who are going to chip at my self confidence as I work to improve it.

Categories