Help! Need to help my boyfriend gain weight!

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245

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  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
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    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
  • BombshellPhoenix
    BombshellPhoenix Posts: 1,693 Member
    Options
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    Calorie surplus....

    It's the only way

    p3k6wd5w71id.jpg
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Options
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
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    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    Calorie surplus....

    It's the only way

    p3k6wd5w71id.jpg

    i wonder how we can find out what his calorie surplus number is... ? anyone know?
  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
    Options
    SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.

    apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do. :)
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    Calorie surplus....

    It's the only way

    p3k6wd5w71id.jpg

    i wonder how we can find out what his calorie surplus number is... ? anyone know?

    Does he not have an internet?
  • BombshellPhoenix
    BombshellPhoenix Posts: 1,693 Member
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    SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.

    ^ I was wondering this myself.

    If he was so concerned about it, wouldn't he be on here and not you, OP? It is not in your power to make him eat enough to gain. He has to want to and make a conscious effort to not negate a potential opportunity to gain weight.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    Calorie surplus....

    It's the only way

    p3k6wd5w71id.jpg

    i wonder how we can find out what his calorie surplus number is... ? anyone know?

    the same way the rest of us do it- the same way you did it.

    TDEE- or MFP (NEET +)

    typically for gaining you are aiming for a 250-500 suprlus- for men they can usually get away with 400 or so.

    Is he lifting or just trying to put on "weight" and without a lifting program "weight = fat"
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    This time last year, I would've considered myself a "hard gainer." That was before I got really serious about tracking my intake. I found out that I would eat at a higher intake for a few days and then drop back down to my "normal" intake as soon as I stopped paying attention. As weird as it sounds, it takes a lot of focus and commitment to keep eating at a surplus every day if it's unnatural for you. I never would've believed that I could get to a point that I just didn't want to eat any more ice cream, but I did. That's why I'm saying that he has to be 100% onboard. It's going to feel uncomfortable for him to eat that way, and he won't continue to do it unless he's prepared to ride out those uncomfortable periods of time.

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Full fat dairy.... Peanut butter... A couple of slices of bread with his evening meal.... Flapjacks, nuts and seeds as snacks...
  • BombshellPhoenix
    BombshellPhoenix Posts: 1,693 Member
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    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.

    apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do. :)

    I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.

    Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
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    AliceDark wrote: »
    This time last year, I would've considered myself a "hard gainer." That was before I got really serious about tracking my intake. I found out that I would eat at a higher intake for a few days and then drop back down to my "normal" intake as soon as I stopped paying attention. As weird as it sounds, it takes a lot of focus and commitment to keep eating at a surplus every day if it's unnatural for you. I never would've believed that I could get to a point that I just didn't want to eat any more ice cream, but I did. That's why I'm saying that he has to be 100% onboard. It's going to feel uncomfortable for him to eat that way, and he won't continue to do it unless he's prepared to ride out those uncomfortable periods of time.

    i hear ya, i did tell him that i think as unpleasant as it is for me to pass up foods i want in order to lose weight, it's the same for him to have to deal with some unpleasantness to eat more and gain weight. he did do it before a few years ago, he got up to 185 and he said the same thing you are saying, that he had to really focus on food alllll day long. we did not know each other at that time.

    its good to hear it again i think from others tho, he doesn't feel that he was doing it the wrong way you know? its hard to find others that have to deal with the same thing. thanks
  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
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    JoRocka wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    Calorie surplus....

    It's the only way

    p3k6wd5w71id.jpg

    i wonder how we can find out what his calorie surplus number is... ? anyone know?

    the same way the rest of us do it- the same way you did it.

    TDEE- or MFP (NEET +)

    typically for gaining you are aiming for a 250-500 suprlus- for men they can usually get away with 400 or so.

    Is he lifting or just trying to put on "weight" and without a lifting program "weight = fat"

    he is not lifting, and not sure when he would start. he knows he should however, and he does know it helps. he's just having a hard time getting a hold of his schedule, he is a newbie in the real estate biz and it's all his energy he has just to work and then come home. but he does want to start working out (lifting weights) when he feels ready.

  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    JoRocka wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    Calorie surplus....

    It's the only way

    p3k6wd5w71id.jpg

    i wonder how we can find out what his calorie surplus number is... ? anyone know?

    the same way the rest of us do it- the same way you did it.

    TDEE- or MFP (NEET +)

    typically for gaining you are aiming for a 250-500 suprlus- for men they can usually get away with 400 or so.

    Is he lifting or just trying to put on "weight" and without a lifting program "weight = fat"

    he is not lifting, and not sure when he would start. he knows he should however, and he does know it helps. he's just having a hard time getting a hold of his schedule, he is a newbie in the real estate biz and it's all his energy he has just to work and then come home. but he does want to start working out (lifting weights) when he feels ready.

    When he decides to change, he'll make time. Just like the rest of us here. And he'll find answers and guidance here...just like most of us did.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Options
    LOL you never "Feel" ready.

    at some point you just have to pull the bootstraps up and do the thing. There will always be "something" one way or the other- and that's just how life is. We all know what it's like.


    But if you want to help go buy New Rules of Lifting and leave it in the open or Starting Strength... or leave open the Strong Lifts website... let him go from there.
  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
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    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.

    apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do. :)

    I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.

    Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?

    no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.

    and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
    edited November 2014
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    JoRocka wrote: »
    LOL you never "Feel" ready.

    at some point you just have to pull the bootstraps up and do the thing. There will always be "something" one way or the other- and that's just how life is. We all know what it's like.


    But if you want to help go buy New Rules of Lifting and leave it in the open or Starting Strength... or leave open the Strong Lifts website... let him go from there.

    cool thanks! and yah that's what i meant by "feeling ready" he'll do it when he does it. he plans to but right now he's not working out. he's focused on other parts of his life. which is why i am trying to help in my own way that i can because i prepare most of the food.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Options
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.

    apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do. :)

    I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.

    Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?

    no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.

    and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?

    Well this information might have been useful in the beginning. Have y'all tried to eliminate certain types of foods to see if it helps? I'm assuming he gets stomach cramping or diarrhea if it's a possibility he has IBS.
  • BombshellPhoenix
    BombshellPhoenix Posts: 1,693 Member
    edited November 2014
    Options
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.

    apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do. :)

    I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.

    Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?

    no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.

    and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?

    I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.

    Nope, I don't get it.

    "Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
    Until he does that...you're just guessing

    Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
  • pearlsgirl96
    pearlsgirl96 Posts: 43
    edited November 2014
    Options
    hollydubs85 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
    pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks
    BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
    Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.

    Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.

    Unless....Jedi mind tricks

    ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.

    It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.

    apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do. :)

    I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.

    Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?

    no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.

    and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?

    Well this information might have been useful in the beginning. Have y'all tried to eliminate certain types of foods to see if it helps? I'm assuming he gets stomach cramping or diarrhea if it's a possibility he has IBS.

    This info about the IBS was in my original post.

    yes, red meat makes the IBS come around, also pork. He will be ok if he eats balanced (fruits, veggies and carbs) along with the meat, and doesn't eat too much meat. so that's why i make well rounded meals that have a little of everything.

    the IBS is more constipation and hemmrhoids, i'm not a doctor but i speculate it's because red meat and pork can be inflammatory for certain people. he does get a bloated feeling too if he has too much meat.

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