Help! Need to help my boyfriend gain weight!
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My hubby has Crohn's (along with a myriad of other health issues) and is forever struggling to maintain/gain weight. One thing we've found that has helped is the high-calorie supplement drinks (ex. Boost, Ensure, etc.). I keep them stocked up in the house now and they've made a big difference, especially on those days when he's feeling crappy and doesn't want to eat much. Using them in smoothies, or mixing with milk can help make them a little more palatable if the taste is a problem.0
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BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.0 -
mduncan1990 wrote: »My hubby has Crohn's (along with a myriad of other health issues) and is forever struggling to maintain/gain weight. One thing we've found that has helped is the high-calorie supplement drinks (ex. Boost, Ensure, etc.). I keep them stocked up in the house now and they've made a big difference, especially on those days when he's feeling crappy and doesn't want to eat much. Using them in smoothies, or mixing with milk can help make them a little more palatable if the taste is a problem.
thanks!!!! This helps! and yes, you're right, my best friend, her hubby has Crohn's too and does the same, he drinks ensure or something. and my ex who had cancer, he used to drink muscle milk. i didn't even think of this. that's a great idea. 0 -
pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
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BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a hamburger?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
Agreed. Heck, I'm on a deficit, and I have plenty of room for "junk food". However...it's not junk food. There are some foods that are nutrient dense, and there are some that aren't as nutrient dense. Nothing wrong with them. They are still a source of macros. My mom used to ride my hindend about how I'd eat chocolate and ice cream all the time until I told her how hard it is for me to meet my fat macro without them.
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pearlsgirl96 wrote: »hollydubs85 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
Well this information might have been useful in the beginning. Have y'all tried to eliminate certain types of foods to see if it helps? I'm assuming he gets stomach cramping or diarrhea if it's a possibility he has IBS.
This info about the IBS was in my original post.
yes, red meat makes the IBS come around, also pork. He will be ok if he eats balanced (fruits, veggies and carbs) along with the meat, and doesn't eat too much meat. so that's why i make well rounded meals that have a little of everything.
the IBS is more constipation and hemmrhoids, i'm not a doctor but i speculate it's because red meat and pork can be inflammatory for certain people. he does get a bloated feeling too if he has too much meat.
Oops, sorry. I swear I read the whole thing.
Does he get enough fiber? Again, this would be easily trackable if he had an account. What about fats? Both can help with constipation if he's not getting enough.
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pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Just add oil to everything. That adds up quicker than anything.0 -
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BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
i'm not making him eliminate junk food, it's just that junk food is an obvious calorie dense food. i don't need advice on that part and he does get plenty of that. and no i don't feed him lean meats. he had a 10 oz NY strip steak last night, half a cup of cooked white rice with 2 tblspns butter, salad with 2 tblspns of olive oil on lettuce salad with tomatoes, and peppers and onions sauteed in olive oil (about a cup of that). he ate two Reeses Klondikes after dinner for dessert. two weeks ago i made homemade beef stew with cabernet reduction, double the amount of russet potato, added flour roux to the broth to thicken, butter and olive oil were all used as well as veggies (carrots and celery) in the stew. for dessert he had 1/4 of an 8" coconut custard pie.
that's not carrot sticks. I love how you assume. this is how i normally cook for him.
**edit: he eats lean meats like chicken only when he knows he's going overboard with the meats that causes him problems. so he gets a balance, we also eat fish like salmon and red snapper.0 -
These are the parts we're referring to when we say he needs to take responsibility. It's not your job to monitor any of this.pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
i'm not making him eliminate junk food, it's just that junk food is an obvious calorie dense food. i don't need advice on that part and he does get plenty of that. and no i don't feed him lean meats. he had a 10 oz NY strip steak last night, half a cup of cooked white rice with 2 tblspns butter, salad with 2 tblspns of olive oil on lettuce salad with tomatoes, and peppers and onions sauteed in olive oil (about a cup of that). he ate two Reeses Klondikes after dinner for dessert. two weeks ago i made homemade beef stew with cabernet reduction, double the amount of russet potato, added flour roux to the broth to thicken, butter and olive oil were all used as well as veggies (carrots and celery) in the stew. for dessert he had 1/4 of an 8" coconut custard pie.
that's not carrot sticks. I love how you assume. this is how i normally cook for him.
0 -
pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
i'm not making him eliminate junk food, it's just that junk food is an obvious calorie dense food. i don't need advice on that part and he does get plenty of that. and no i don't feed him lean meats. he had a 10 oz NY strip steak last night, half a cup of cooked white rice with 2 tblspns butter, salad with 2 tblspns of olive oil on lettuce salad with tomatoes, and peppers and onions sauteed in olive oil (about a cup of that). he ate two Reeses Klondikes after dinner for dessert. two weeks ago i made homemade beef stew with cabernet reduction, double the amount of russet potato, added flour roux to the broth to thicken, butter and olive oil were all used as well as veggies (carrots and celery) in the stew. for dessert he had 1/4 of an 8" coconut custard pie.
that's not carrot sticks. I love how you assume. this is how i normally cook for him.
Good luck then. Since you don't want help
-1 -
BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
i'm not making him eliminate junk food, it's just that junk food is an obvious calorie dense food. i don't need advice on that part and he does get plenty of that. and no i don't feed him lean meats. he had a 10 oz NY strip steak last night, half a cup of cooked white rice with 2 tblspns butter, salad with 2 tblspns of olive oil on lettuce salad with tomatoes, and peppers and onions sauteed in olive oil (about a cup of that). he ate two Reeses Klondikes after dinner for dessert. two weeks ago i made homemade beef stew with cabernet reduction, double the amount of russet potato, added flour roux to the broth to thicken, butter and olive oil were all used as well as veggies (carrots and celery) in the stew. for dessert he had 1/4 of an 8" coconut custard pie.
that's not carrot sticks. I love how you assume. this is how i normally cook for him.
Good luck then. Since you don't want help
eh?0 -
These are the parts we're referring to when we say he needs to take responsibility. It's not your job to monitor any of this.pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
i'm not making him eliminate junk food, it's just that junk food is an obvious calorie dense food. i don't need advice on that part and he does get plenty of that. and no i don't feed him lean meats. he had a 10 oz NY strip steak last night, half a cup of cooked white rice with 2 tblspns butter, salad with 2 tblspns of olive oil on lettuce salad with tomatoes, and peppers and onions sauteed in olive oil (about a cup of that). he ate two Reeses Klondikes after dinner for dessert. two weeks ago i made homemade beef stew with cabernet reduction, double the amount of russet potato, added flour roux to the broth to thicken, butter and olive oil were all used as well as veggies (carrots and celery) in the stew. for dessert he had 1/4 of an 8" coconut custard pie.
that's not carrot sticks. I love how you assume. this is how i normally cook for him.
i'm not monitoring, I cook for him! LOL, is it that hard to read what i write? seriously. where does this idea come from that anyone is monitoring or forcing? this is seriously hilarious!0 -
Well call it what you want- he just needs more of it- and that includes " junk food" Butter on everything- olive oil- and then ice cream peanut butter- more. Putting on weight purposefully is HARD. Eating like that once or twice a week won't cut it- it has to be a constant surplus- that's the hard thing about doing this. People always say- oh 3500- that's easy- I can do that in one sitting. Of course you can. Once a week or twice a week- but eating that much daily for months is HARD- you get sick of eating. But that's why it takes tracking- and consistent surplus to see results. Tracking is vital for bulking- almost more so than when trying to lose.
as far as IBS- I don't think IBS = constipation- but quiet the opposite typically.
Typically constipation is a lack of fiber- or more commonly a lack of fat.0 -
hollydubs85 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Just add oil to everything. That adds up quicker than anything.
i use olive oil on all my salads, sometimes in sauteeing, but mostly use butter and i also use coconut oil when frying. so, check...
0 -
BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
THANK YOU!! This is great.0 -
pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
These are the parts we're referring to when we say he needs to take responsibility. It's not your job to monitor any of this.pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
i'm not making him eliminate junk food, it's just that junk food is an obvious calorie dense food. i don't need advice on that part and he does get plenty of that. and no i don't feed him lean meats. he had a 10 oz NY strip steak last night, half a cup of cooked white rice with 2 tblspns butter, salad with 2 tblspns of olive oil on lettuce salad with tomatoes, and peppers and onions sauteed in olive oil (about a cup of that). he ate two Reeses Klondikes after dinner for dessert. two weeks ago i made homemade beef stew with cabernet reduction, double the amount of russet potato, added flour roux to the broth to thicken, butter and olive oil were all used as well as veggies (carrots and celery) in the stew. for dessert he had 1/4 of an 8" coconut custard pie.
that's not carrot sticks. I love how you assume. this is how i normally cook for him.
i'm not monitoring, I cook for him! LOL, is it that hard to read what i write? seriously. where does this idea come from that anyone is monitoring or forcing? this is seriously hilarious!
It's really useless for us to try to help at this point. I agree with JoRocka and probably think a lack of fat or fiber is causing his issues (also a lack of fluid intake?). But nobody here, including you, can really help unless HE monitors his food for a little while to see if he has any nutrients that are lacking in his diet.0 -
At this point, I bow out. Good luck on your journey. Or his. Whatever.
0 -
hollydubs85 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »
These are the parts we're referring to when we say he needs to take responsibility. It's not your job to monitor any of this.pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricksBombshellPhoenix wrote: »Ya, this isn't really something that is in your control at all. No reason to feel guilty. If you're that concerned...talk to him.
Otherwise, just break up. You hold zero power over others.
Unless....Jedi mind tricks
ha, this isn't about power. it's about helping someone i love and who loves me back. i do most of the cooking, so while what he eats or how much is not in my direct control he does want my help. and we do talk about it quite often, so my posting this discussion has nothing to do with a relationship issue. i posted this for nutritional advice as i know there are other hard gainers out there and want to know any tips or suggestions.
It kinda is, otherwise, he'd be here looking for the answers himself. Unless he's an invalid.
apparently you haven't found your true love yet... lol we help each other in life, that's what we do.
I am married and still don't understand this. My husband at one point expressed interest in weight loss. However, refuses to count calories. I know this method works so does he. But he doesn't want to do it. Could he lose some weight? Sure. But I love him as is and I cannot MAKE him do anything. You can still be separate people and be in love.
Has there been anything medically wrong with him or any concerns via doctor about this or are you just convinced because you plugged in some numbers in a bmi chart and feel the need to intervene?
no one is intervening and i'm not making him do anything. not sure where you're getting any of that from. anyway HE knows he is underweight because HE feels it and SEES it. and yes his doctors told him that if he goes below 165 that he will be underweight and he knows all the ramifications of this. also there is a possibility that he has a med problem that he has not learned of yet. he does have chronic IBS especially after consuming meat. unfortunately right now he is unable to go see a doctor because he has no insurance and we are not in the position to pay for expensive scopies and tests out of pocket. however right now, we can't jump to conclusions without trying to just increase daily calorie intake first. if he does increase his calories and something still doesn't make sense as to why he is still having weight issues he will see a doctor. in the meantime i am gathering advice on how to increase calories while still maintaining a healthful diet.
and we are working TOGETHER to acheive it, especially as I am the one who provides most of his food. This is why I am on here gathering advice. Get it yet?
I just find it odd if he's so concerned that he doesn't have his own account and isn't asking these questions.
Nope, I don't get it.
"Healthy" is in the context of a whole diet, so assuming he's getting his required nutrients he needs to be loading up on calorie dense foods...which is why he should have an account on here
Until he does that...you're just guessing
Also found it highly offensive you would accuse someone of not having a partner just because they're asking why he hasn't signed up yet...it's a perfectly valid question without needing to throw daggers.
he does seek answers to these questions, just not on myfitnesspal. i mentioned it to him that it might be a useful tool in counting his calories or whatnot and i'm sure he'll sign up if he wants to. see... not interfering...
now, about the calorie dense foods... that is the whole point of my post originally. I want advice / tips on healthy (meaning not junk food) calorie dense foods that I can shop for / work in to my cooking. i cook very well rounded but i may not be cooking as calorie dense as i think i am. i just simply wanted some advice on that. recipes, would be great, too! sample meal plans from anyone who may have had a similar problem, anything helpful.
Then that's your issue. You're looking at food wrong . If you're getting your bodies nutrients "junk" food is a meaningless term. It really is.
Even professional athletes, Olympic athletes eat "junk" food. What do you think has the most calories typically? A chicken breast or a a chicken wrap sandwich with dressing?
Getting a good amount of protein, fat, fiber, etc will aid in body comp, especially combined with some form of resistance training.
you fill in those calorie gaps with ice cream, fast good, cookies...seriously.
or add condiments, sides, drink his calories if he has to
When someone has a high TDEE, you honestly think nothing but lean meats. carrots sticks and fruit will be enough to push one to surplus before they feel full? Especially since he's got some dietary restrictions.
i'm not making him eliminate junk food, it's just that junk food is an obvious calorie dense food. i don't need advice on that part and he does get plenty of that. and no i don't feed him lean meats. he had a 10 oz NY strip steak last night, half a cup of cooked white rice with 2 tblspns butter, salad with 2 tblspns of olive oil on lettuce salad with tomatoes, and peppers and onions sauteed in olive oil (about a cup of that). he ate two Reeses Klondikes after dinner for dessert. two weeks ago i made homemade beef stew with cabernet reduction, double the amount of russet potato, added flour roux to the broth to thicken, butter and olive oil were all used as well as veggies (carrots and celery) in the stew. for dessert he had 1/4 of an 8" coconut custard pie.
that's not carrot sticks. I love how you assume. this is how i normally cook for him.
i'm not monitoring, I cook for him! LOL, is it that hard to read what i write? seriously. where does this idea come from that anyone is monitoring or forcing? this is seriously hilarious!
It's really useless for us to try to help at this point. I agree with JoRocka and probably think a lack of fat or fiber is causing his issues (also a lack of fluid intake?). But nobody here, including you, can really help unless HE monitors his food for a little while to see if he has any nutrients that are lacking in his diet.
he could stand to drink more water for sure. that is definitely on him, i can't do anything about that. but would that hold him back from gaining weight? i don't believe it's a lack of fat or fiber. we eat very we rounded, beans, meat, tons of veggies of all colors, i cook with fats and oils, he eats junk food sometimes, i go out of my way to make hearty soups that have plenty of liquid to give him foods that are gentler on his digestive system (trying to increase liquid). so i guess then, does that mean i am doing all that i can? no other advice?
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