Help! Need to help my boyfriend gain weight!
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pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
THANK YOU!! This is great.
Promise I'm not trying to be mean. The truth is that until he gets his own account, you have no idea about his intake. And more often then not people come on here with good intentions posting for others, when the person who needs to be on there isn't present and it's hard to give advice when there's not much to work with.
The best thing he can do is get an account and log everything for a few weeks. See how the scales trend and add calories when needed.
There's several TDEE calculators you could reference online or again, when he signs up, he can plug in that he wants to gain x amount per week and it'll spit a number at him.0 -
Well call it what you want- he just needs more of it- and that includes " junk food" Butter on everything- olive oil- and then ice cream peanut butter- more. Putting on weight purposefully is HARD. Eating like that once or twice a week won't cut it- it has to be a constant surplus- that's the hard thing about doing this. People always say- oh 3500- that's easy- I can do that in one sitting. Of course you can. Once a week or twice a week- but eating that much daily for months is HARD- you get sick of eating. But that's why it takes tracking- and consistent surplus to see results. Tracking is vital for bulking- almost more so than when trying to lose.
as far as IBS- I don't think IBS = constipation- but quiet the opposite typically.
Typically constipation is a lack of fiber- or more commonly a lack of fat.
hmm, well i cook with fats and oils. so it sounds like from everyone's comments cumulatively i'm already on the right path with my cooking and stuff just that he has to eat more of it / drink more water. btw: yah i totally eat way too many calories, weird how its so easy for me, and yet i need to eat less calories LOL sigh0 -
BombshellPhoenix wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »BombshellPhoenix wrote: »
THANK YOU!! This is great.
Promise I'm not trying to be mean. The truth is that until he gets his own account, you have no idea about his intake. And more often then not people come on here with good intentions posting for others, when the person who needs to be on there isn't present and it's hard to give advice when there's not much to work with.
The best thing he can do is get an account and log everything for a few weeks. See how the scales trend and add calories when needed.
There's several TDEE calculators you could reference online or again, when he signs up, he can plug in that he wants to gain x amount per week and it'll spit a number at him.
i agree with you. i was just looking for nutritional advice about what to cook and keep around the house to aid him. there are parts about this problem that i can't do anything about, only he can. i think some people on here thought i was looking for relationship advice or something lol. just food advice, making sure i am on the right track etc.
thanks for the input.
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In threads like this where the wife/girlfriend is trying to help/steer her husband in a certain direction because she cooks for/manages his entire life am I the only one that imagines the husband/boyfriend as a giant baby in a diaper? Maybe I'm weird like that.
uh, no. people keep projecting their relational issues on to me. not it at all but thanks anyway!0 -
It's less about projection and more about reality- it seems you're already doing all you can- the only thing more that can be done is one him.
So don't go out of your way- because you're already going that.0 -
it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol0 -
pearlsgirl96 wrote: »it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol
If anyone is projecting here...-1 -
pearlsgirl96 wrote: »it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol
Really?
Everybody's main point was this: You don't know how many calories he's eating. You don't know what he's eating at all unless you are with him 24/7. Any effort you make towards helping him is futile until he helps himself.0 -
pearlsgirl96 wrote: »it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol
and try to help someone.
Best of luck... but I'm out.0 -
In threads like this where the wife/girlfriend is trying to help/steer her husband in a certain direction because she cooks for/manages his entire life am I the only one that imagines the husband/boyfriend as a giant baby in a diaper? Maybe I'm weird like that.
Yeah, I always wanna ask, wtf did he do before you? Did you save this guy from being tube fed in a hospital?
ETA - and is he allowed no agency of his own?-1 -
hollydubs85 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol
Really?
Everybody's main point was this: You don't know how many calories he's eating. You don't know what he's eating at all unless you are with him 24/7. Any effort you make towards helping him is futile until he helps himself.
who said i was trying to count his calories? I just wanted some pointers on what kinds of food to cook / keep around the house. can anyone read?0 -
pearlsgirl96 wrote: »hollydubs85 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol
Really?
Everybody's main point was this: You don't know how many calories he's eating. You don't know what he's eating at all unless you are with him 24/7. Any effort you make towards helping him is futile until he helps himself.
who said i was trying to count his calories? I just wanted some pointers on what kinds of food to cook / keep around the house. can anyone read?
I'm out.
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pearlsgirl96 wrote: »hollydubs85 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol
Really?
Everybody's main point was this: You don't know how many calories he's eating. You don't know what he's eating at all unless you are with him 24/7. Any effort you make towards helping him is futile until he helps himself.
who said i was trying to count his calories? I just wanted some pointers on what kinds of food to cook / keep around the house. can anyone read?
So...your question about how to get him in a calorie surplus had nothing to do with him counting calories because you do realize the science of weight loss/gain....right?
Thermodynamics? CICO? Counting calories, especially for someone who has a hard time gaining or losing is the best possible resource and a laundry list of groceries won't EVER fix the issue of gaining if he doesn't know if the foods he is eating will result IN a calorie surplus...
Is this thing on? Hello?
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Do you really not understand what your whole thread is about?pearlsgirl96 wrote: »hollydubs85 wrote: »pearlsgirl96 wrote: »it's just funny how my cooking most of the meals for him or learning more about what it's like to be a hard gainer and the food requirements for them means i'm managing his life. that's so utterly ridiculous and negative. i'm sorry if that is the reality for most people in relationships but it's not the reality here. and i also find it very disappointing that doing this is considered by some as "going out of my way" and " I shouldn't be". no wonder this world is in the state it is these days. nobody thinks helping and looking out for one another is a good thing anymore. how sad.
anyway y'all don't know me in that respect so you shouldn't judge. because in judging me you are not defining me, just defining yourselves. to all who gave me helpful nutritional and calorie intake advice thank you. I will keep trying to cook the best food for him despite what you may think about my "managing" his life. lol
Really?
Everybody's main point was this: You don't know how many calories he's eating. You don't know what he's eating at all unless you are with him 24/7. Any effort you make towards helping him is futile until he helps himself.
who said i was trying to count his calories? I just wanted some pointers on what kinds of food to cook / keep around the house. can anyone read?
-1 -
So is this guy eating at a calorie surplus or not?
Oh, wait...he isn't gaining weight, so I guess he isn't.
OP, if you want him to gain weight, you should cook/buy the types of foods that will lead him to eat at a net calorie surplus. Of course, as long as *he* doesn't want to put in the work to gain weight, it probably won't matter what you do, but at least you'll feel like you're doing something.0 -
of course, for all we know, the op's boyfriend is happy as he is... read into that what you may.-1
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hollydubs85 wrote: »[quote="pearlsgirl96;30238202
Well this information might have been useful in the beginning. Have y'all tried to eliminate certain types of foods to see if it helps? I'm assuming he gets stomach cramping or diarrhea if it's a possibility he has IBS.
I believe it was in the original post, if you'd read through it instead of joining in to jump all over the OP for being concerned about her husband's health.
OP, sorry about the reception your thread got. I have no idea how people lose weight without trying so I can't help, but just wanted to offer a bit of compassion since it's quite lacking.
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hollydubs85 wrote: »[quote="pearlsgirl96;30238202
Well this information might have been useful in the beginning. Have y'all tried to eliminate certain types of foods to see if it helps? I'm assuming he gets stomach cramping or diarrhea if it's a possibility he has IBS.
I believe it was in the original post, if you'd read through it instead of joining in to jump all over the OP for being concerned about her husband's health.
OP, sorry about the reception your thread got. I have no idea how people lose weight without trying so I can't help, but just wanted to offer a bit of compassion since it's quite lacking.
*a white knight joins the battle*
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