Offended people because I didn't take a chocolate

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  • jeffd247
    jeffd247 Posts: 319 Member
    edited October 2014
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    Regarding the OP's situation in the coffee shop, it was more likely surprise than offence. I've ordered a coffee on "free donut day" and had the person offering the donut ask 3-4 times if I really didn't want the donut.

    So many people LOVE free stuff, that it just doesn't compute that someone wouldn't want it. Now I just take the donut and give it away. Someone always takes it.

    If you don't like the reaction just take the food and either give it to someone else, or throw it away or go somewhere else.

  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    I've pretty much refused all the "free" food at the office for years now. It might be "free" as in, I don't have to hand over my cold hard cash for it, but it still has a price, and it's not one I'm willing to pay. I decided well before I actually started shifting the lard that it just wasn't the kind of food I actually like. They've never ordered food I would actually be tempted to eat. It's all greasy pizza, or yucky cake with 3 inches of nasty frosting, or over-cooked, over-sauced meat. I got funny looks and even some pointed comments for quite a while, but now, no one gives a *kitten*, or if they do, I don't notice.

    I have noticed that more people at the office politely decline the "free" food now, or are highly selective. I'm not alone any more. This seems like a good thing.
  • Pebbles5280
    Pebbles5280 Posts: 24 Member
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    I applaud your willpower. If you politely decline and they are offended, that's their problem not yours.
  • kristydi
    kristydi Posts: 781 Member
    edited October 2014
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    Servers at restaurants are often taken aback when I insist on water for my daughters' drinks. Kids meals usually come with milk, juice out soda. Cows milk aggravates their eczema and juice and soda are saved for treats. I frequently have to convince the server that I really want water for them.

    And the other day at Sam's the lady with the samples of ice cream seemed offend that I didn't want one. I took one for the girls to share and she wanted to give me another for myself. She tried several times to convince me, even as I began to walk away.

    For strangers, I smile and continue to politely refuse. For people I care about, I may just take whatever it is and discreetly get rid of it. My dad is a giver. He expresses his love by giving people stuff. If you reject stuff he's trying to give you too often, he feels like you are rejecting him. So I take whatever it is because I love my dad. If it's food I either take a small portion or pack some up to take home for my husband. And if it winds up in the trash, Dad never needs to know.
  • Fruitylicious03
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    I usually take it...but I say I'll eat it later. That usually has a better reaction.
  • vamaena
    vamaena Posts: 217 Member
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    vamaena wrote: »
    I've been offending my clients so much lately! Every couple of days somebody comes in with some kind of treat and they then go around the office offering it up to people before bringing it to the kitchen. I keep refusing when I used to say yes all the time.
    To top things off there's also the birthday cakes that keeps going around and recently the city of Ottawa has started their annual charity drive for the United Way so every department has their own fundraisers. I'm getting flack from my own department for not buying the chocolates and from my clients who keep asking me to buy some! Plus they keep having these "events" for fundraising which is basically centered around food. Two weeks ago they had an all you can eat icecream event for 2$, there's daily chips/pop for 1$ as an afternoon snack, and next Friday they're ordering in pizza. I keep saying no but man it's getting harder to do with all the frowns. Worst part is it's not even November yet (this thing goes on until Christmas)

    So yeah, all that to say, I've started to simply shrug off the offense. I'm refusing to better my health, I don't care if they judge me for not eating that crap. I will eat what benefits me not them.

    see i know what i said above but yours sounds a little different. your example involves charity. In this situation you could give the money for charity without having to eat any of it.

    I'm already given them money through other purchases (such as 50/50 tickets). 1 or 2 dollars here or there doesn't sound like much but when it's every single day, it adds up. Bigger "events" tend to cost between 5-10$. Plus they expect you to donate a small percentage of your paycheck every single week. It's ridiculous.

    Plus this charity has admitted to keeping 80% of donations to pay their employees. They bring in hundreds of thousands of dollars ever holiday season and only 20% of that actually goes to a good cause. I'd rather choose my own charity to donate to and pick one that gives out way more.

    All that to say, that yes, if it were a better charity, one that actually gave more to the people they wanted to help, I would be more than willing to simply donate the money and not take the food. :)
  • check1972
    check1972 Posts: 26 Member
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    They will get over it.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    People need to stop being such self-centered, hyper-sensitive crybabies. If someone declines something you offer them it doesn't automatically mean they hate you. This society is becoming ridiculous.

    This x 100.
  • Gawanne15
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    I'm at the age were I am either given boxes of chocolate biscuits or hand cream for birthdays or Christmas. Hand cream is good, but the biscuits are usually quietly given away and I keep the pretty boxes to store my art paints and brushes. That way, no one is offended, the boxes are used, and noticed by the giver, and its a win win situation.
  • canadianvampyregurl
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    I love my skinny jeans more than I love *insert the offending food here*...that's what I say :)
  • PeteWhoLikesToRunAlot
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    I'm offended by people who are offended over stupid *kitten*. They've got their own issues.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
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    I'm offended by people who are offended over stupid *kitten*. They've got their own issues.

    Roger that, just seems to dam hard for some people to smile and say thank you.

  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,276 Member
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    I really don't care who I offend when it comes to food and my health. Years ago, I was in a very poor area of Ecuador, and a family offered me dinner. This is huge, as many people barely had enough food to feed their families. I declined. My friend ate the food, and was hospitalized for a week with some stomach/intestinal issue. He often told me, " If only I had listened to you.". Now, who knows if that dinner was the cause...Anyway, I think it takes high self esteem to be able to decline food, offered. You care more about pleasing yourself than catering to others for acceptance and approval. Nothing wrong with that.