What I hate about being fat

I have days like this (except for the no job thing). I also have days when I hate how bad I let myself get before doing something about it. All I see when I look in the mirror on those days is my past failures. When I have days like this I usually run to my husband and he tells me "Stop beating yourself up. You're doing a great job hunny. Stop worrying about the past because there is nothing you can do about it. All that matters is what you're doing right now!" So I'll say the same thing to you! Don't beat yourself up! You've been doing GREAT for yourself and EVERY DAY that you stick with it you triumph and YOU ARE A WINNER! You can feel free to add me and I would be happy to tell you this when ever you need to hear it because it's THE TRUTH!

I can see that there are things you don't like about yourself, things you want to improve. And that's great. Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE has room for improvement. I congratulate you on your determination and success.
But...
Just because you have room to improve does not mean that you are somehow less worthy as a person right now. At this moment, you are a valuable, worthwhile human being. Yes, use what you don't like about yourself to inspire you to become a better, healthier person, but don't let other people make you think that you are somehow less worthy than them simply because of what you may look like now or what you have done in the past. You are a wonderful, valuable human being, right now.

You need to focus on the positive things in your life. Laws of Attraction. The more you focus on the negatives the more negatives you will notice. Try it out for one day...heck even one hour would work. Just take a deep breathe and just push the bad thoughts away.

And please remember there are people worse off than you weight wise. Your current weight is someone else's goal weight!

Look at your life and see the good things in your life. Focus on the good things and develop on those. I am the same way as you at times. But then I started to realize how most of the stress I had in my life was caused by myself. YOU are charge of your life. YOU are the only one who can make choices to make your life better or to stay in the rut you are in.

It is okay to feel bad about your situation but do not let yourself wallow there. You will get too comfortable in that state of mind and it is not a good place to be.

You have lost 35 pounds already. That is 7 bags of sugar. That is 4 gallons on milk. Go grab 4 gallons on milk. It is HEAVY! That was once on your body and it is GONE. Your hard work got rid of that.

One step at a time. One day at a time. One choice at a time.

I empathize, there are so many things I dislike about being overweight.

It is ok to feel this way, even if it feels horrible. Life is not platitudes of self awesomeness, but on the same hand it is not about self loathing. It is ok to vent, and express, but try to be kind to yourself. We are only human and perfectly imperfect.

candistyx wrote: »

tjsoccermom wrote: »

Don't buy chocolate and diet soda then. Buy veggies.

I honestly don't see what is wrong with chocolate or diet soda in moderation as part of a broadly balanced diet. It just makes me ashamed because I think other people will think "typical fatty eating crap". If I was thin I'd not feel bad about buying those things.

I've lost 35lbs in the last 6 months and it seems soooo slow, but I initially wanted to lose slowly because I thought it would minimise excess skin etc. But when I think I have 103lbs left to go, it's just depressing. I am going to be fat for years and I just have to keep plugging away while all my sins are visible on my body.

I could go to confession and be clean in the eyes of the Lord, but in the eyes of the world my body will still scream lazy glutton for a while yet whatever I do. I know it's fair, I know I made my bed. But I don't think that means I can't complain about the bed I made now it's done.

I think one of the hardest things to learn in life is that our sense of worth must come from within and not from what others think of us. You have to start thinking of yourself as worthy and deserving of respect because of the things you've accomplished (like losing 35lbs!) and deserving of a happy life because you are a good person who treats others well. The people who really matter to you in life already know these things about you too and they love and respect you for it. They are the people in your life who will give you honest opinions and constructive criticism when you need it. So who cares whether a random stranger in the supermarket judges what's in your basket? They are entitled to their opinion, but you are entitled to not let it bother you. You know who you are and what you're about, so just let those outside opinions slide right off your back.

@OP - I hate all of those things too.

I can't change the past, but I can change the present and the future. I can't change what I see in the mirror today, but I can use it as motivation to make the right decisions.

Along the way I've stumbled. I've fallen. I've even stayed down for a while to enjoy some Chinese food and beer, but I get back up. Sometimes I feel like I can't keep doing this. Actually most of the time I feel like I can't do this, but I am doing it.

It's not wrong to feel the way you do, since it's how you feel. Lot's of us have felt that way at some point. All that I can tell you is how great I feel today and how great I know I will feel tomorrow.

I have found a trick that helped keep me focused. I live very far away from family (I am a mother of two). My mom came to visit and saw that my oldest daughter (18) and I were not pushing ourselves very hard to be active. She posted small sheets of paper with a different single goal on each of them. And she put them EVERYWHERE. On my fridge she put eat a salad and more veggies. In the closet she put take walk. On my bedroom mirror she put run 1/4 a mile farther today then yesterday. In the bathroom she put make a plan. You get the idea. At first it made me smile because she put thought into simple things she thought would help us. But as I met those goals I added my own sheets of paper to replace hers.

So why not scatter some small goals and reminders throughout your home. You have made a wonderful accomplishment 35lbs is GREAT!! I have only lost 7lbs and my goal is to lose 50lbs. It is very hard not to get discouraged and only you know the changes you made to your life to lose those 35lbs but whatever you are doing is working. Give yourself a pat on the back because well....you deserve it! Give yourself some encouragement because lets face it we ALL need encouragement.

So here is some for you. You are beating yourself up for choices you made in the past but you can't go back and change the past so the best you can do is say I will change my actions for today. You said you feel like people are judging you and some probably are but you can't control what they are saying or thinking. As long you remember you are fan-freaking-tanstic and you are an original there is not a single person made that compares to you. No one can match what you bring to the table, to this life because there is only one you! You can build yourself up or tear yourself down but the only opinion that matters is yours.

P.S.
I love chocolate too. I don't beat myself up on the days I indulge, it makes me happy. I just don't let myself have it everyday. Like you said in moderation and if it makes you happy then go for it.

The longer you keep thinking this way, the more it will drag you down and will stop you from reaching your goals. All you focus on is the negative and the self hatred. Start thinking what you can do to change all these things you hate.

Your post is so true, at least for me. It took deciding to get heathly for me to realize that I hated where I was. You are already ahead of the curve in my eyes. You know what you dont like about where you are. You can turn each one of those I hate statements into action plans. Then there are other I hate statements are for you to learn to overlook and to start to love yourself where you are and where you want to be.

I hate that they are right, that I can't hide my vices. *I Can overcome my vices*
I hate the lethargy. *I can start something today*
I hate wanting food when I've eaten enough. *I Can control my food today*
I hate that it doesn't matter what clothes I wear, I look fat in them all. *I can find clothes that fit me and work hard to lose wait*
I hate that there is no point trying to look pretty because I can't. *I can look pretty no matter what I look like. I am worth it*
I hate that the lack of pointless effort into my appearance only looks to others as more confirmation that I am a fat lazy slob. *I can put in effort to how I look*
I hate that my house isn't clean enough because I lack the energy. *I will clean my living room today, ect*
I hate that it will take me years more to lose all the rest of my weight, and it's already been half a year. *I will look forward to my future smaller self then be weighed down by where I am now*
I hate that if I make it, get to a normal weight, I will have to keep counting calories for the rest of my life, but not get to see the numbers keep going down. *I have control over how I look for the rest of my life*
I hate knowing I will not ever be normal in my 20s. *I can control how I am in my 30's and I will rock it with a great body*

These are just my takes on some of them. I dont like doing myself but I have had to in this process. To stop and look at the emotion behind my actions, why I do what I do. More importanly why you dont do what you know needs to be done.

This is a long process and there is nothing wrong with that. It is about your mindset. I am been doing this almost 18 month and have lost 55lbs. Which I wish was higher, but I have lost 55lbs. That is amazing. I went trick or treating for 2 hours and did not get winded once. That is something my old self would not have been able to do. Celebrate the changes you have made.

I wish you luck, I know you can do this.