Running Observation

So about two or three weeks ago I got catcalled for the very first time while out on my run (I've been running for about 5 years now). The disturbing part to me was that it was from 3 different guys within a half a mile from each other. I was wearing running tights and a long sleeve crew neck t shirt so nothing was hanging out. It was on my usual route that I have run countless times before. The only thing that was different was the time of day from when I usually pass by that area. Luckily it wasn't highly inappropriate and I didn't feel threatened at all, just slightly embarrassed.

My observation has been with my own behavior since. It seems to me almost to be subconscious. Ever since that day I have altered my running route if I'm going out around that time (I don't run at the same time every week, it's really whenever I can squeeze it into my schedule that day). I've also been way more aware of my clothing choices and have started wearing hats since i don't seem to get a reaction from the guys outside playing basketball when I wear a hat.

It really makes me sad, I shouldn't have to worry about getting comments from strangers while I'm out on a run. I shouldn't have to feel like I need to alter my route or my clothing choices. But here I am, and I rationalize things in my head, like i was getting tired of that route anyway. I am not someone who get easily embarrassed, actually quite the opposite. So I don't know why that day really bothered me so much. Has anyone else had this problem/reaction?
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Replies

  • glevinso
    glevinso Posts: 1,895 Member
    Not the same particular issue as I am male, but depending on where I run I get "comments" from the locals. Lots of "RUN FORREST RUN" kind of crap - usually from very large people smoking at bus stops.

    I just laugh and think at how sad their lives must be.
  • I haven't but my husband is usually with me. I am a sarcastic person so I'd probably reply with something witty and off colored. Also take it as a compliment. It is rude, I agree but at least they aren't making fun of you. I am a bigger girl and a slow runner so I am always afraid people are laughing at me as they drive by :)
  • Pinkranger626
    Pinkranger626 Posts: 460 Member
    Maybe I just watch too much Law and Order and Stalker and CSI lol. My mom doesn't help as she's constantly talking about how she hates that I run alone etc etc. Unfortunately I don't have a running buddy who is consistent and I refuse to do all my running on a treadmill, especially my longer distances.

    I think in my head if they didn't make any comments I could run by invisible and move on with my life. Making comments means they can see me. I don't know. Maybe i should try to think of it as a compliment, as rude as it is and just move on from it.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    I've been catcalled during marathons. Granted during one, I was wearing a tutu, but it felt pretty darn good. I'm not seeing the problem here.
  • brightsideofpink
    brightsideofpink Posts: 1,018 Member
    Eh, I get it. I'm not even in great shape, and I am sure I look silly running, but I've gotten a few whistles and comments too. While I'm a pretty outgoing person who doesn't offend easily, they bothered me too. When I thought about it more, I realized I wasn't offended, but was bothered because it threw off my routine in a way. I've not been exercising or running as long as you, but when I do, its largely been alone. I can get in my head, do a lot of thinking, and sort of find some rare alone time. Going incognito feels good from time to time. The realization that people are watching or paying attention invades that a bit. I've dealt with it by changing my mindset. If I want to be alone and have that personal space, I'll find a quiet place. If I'm going to the busy paths, I pay more attention to the things around me and spend less time in my head. Then any comments are much less jarring.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Would depend on how comfortable or uncomfortable I felt in the area.

    If it was an infrequent thing (sounds like it) I'd keep running in the same route- it happens. Trust your gut though. Really that's the thing that will keep you safe.
  • Nuccia2012
    Nuccia2012 Posts: 122 Member
    Given the encounter you described, I can't see a need to alter your attire/route/schedule, but I do get the whole visibility/invisibility thing. Just shake it off and do you, boo. :smile:
  • melduf
    melduf Posts: 468 Member
    Catcalls and whistling are cultural. A Cameroonian woman told me it's very usual where she comes from and she actually miss it... It's a show of appreciation. Now, if you ask me, I would be mortified to get catcalled!!!
  • accelerashawn
    accelerashawn Posts: 470 Member
    Get some noise cancelling headphones and turn it up to 11...or carry a nerf gun with you
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
    Maybe I just watch too much Law and Order and Stalker and CSI lol. My mom doesn't help as she's constantly talking about how she hates that I run alone etc etc. Unfortunately I don't have a running buddy who is consistent and I refuse to do all my running on a treadmill, especially my longer distances.

    I think in my head if they didn't make any comments I could run by invisible and move on with my life. Making comments means they can see me. I don't know. Maybe i should try to think of it as a compliment, as rude as it is and just move on from it.

    I definitely understand. There's a park near my house with a 1 mile running loop and I always run alone. If I go before work around 5:30am, there's always the same small group of walkers/runners and that's it. Since it's still dark and the park is not lit, my senses are always heightened to what's around me and I think if anyone made any comments I would be terrified. If I go after work, there's tons of people there and comments that are made don't bother me so much just because it's light outside and there are more people around to witness anything that could happen. I've gotten comments from groups of teenage boys but that's it. It's uncomfortable no matter what, but you just have to be aware. I also read something that I've always kept in mind: never be afraid to hurt someone's feelings if they make you uncomfortable. Ignore it, turn around and start running in the opposite direction, tell them to not talk to you. Do what you gotta do.
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
    Have you ever watched birds in the wild, like on a nature show? The male bird fluffs his pretty feathers at all the female birds and the female birds mostly ignore them. The more male birds flocking in an area, the more puffy chested feathers you'll see. It's instinct. It's kind of a dumb instinct because the female bird is more likely to ignore all the puffy chested showboaters and end up mating with the bird she encounters in a tree one morning singing or something.

    The same applies to humans.

    Wear what you want in a safe area and ignore the peacocks.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    When I thought about it more, I realized I wasn't offended, but was bothered because it threw off my routine in a way.

    This would be me. Although, I've never let anything like that change my routine...what happens to me is that I am ultra-conscious of things and I start pondering and thinking about them when I go that way. Any kinds of distractions are annoying, whether you take offense to them or not. Distractions are not good, because something crazy can happen like you trip on a stick that you didn't see because you were too busy thinking about some guy who made some whistling noises the day before.

    You just have to keep doing what you are doing and keep your focus on that. You can't let something take your focus. It could be something silly like listening to music might keep you focused, but whatever it takes, make sure you do it.

    And remember, that while it is certainly NOT OK for people to behave that way, and that it was certainly not your fault for them to feel compelled to lower themselves, and even though some people think it's a compliment when it really isn't (or else all women would just looooove it when some strange guy comments or whistles as we are trying to mind our own damn business), it's going to happen anyway. Where I do my long runs, I don't get cat calls...but morons driving by like to honk their horns. Soooo appealing...not. There's nothing I can do to change their behavior, but I do have the choice to not let it bother me and keep doing what I am doing without losing focus.

  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Your mind works by creating unconscious associations which it then accesses to perform routine tasks in the future. If you had to consciously process all actions of daily living a person wouldn't end up getting much done.

    What happened is that you had a negative stimulus (the cat call) reinforced in quick succession on this particular route. So, when you now think about running it the negative association plays in a loop unconsciously in your mind. This makes you want to avoid it even though rationally you know it is unlikely such a scenario will play out again.

    The way to overcome this is to purposefully create a stronger positive association which overwrites the useless programming. In other words remember a time when you were running that route and you felt strong, powerful and capable. Whenever you think about the route force this association to arise and crowd out the negative association as soon as you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Eventually it will be overcome.

    I'm sorry you had to face such rampant stupidity in the first place. That sucks.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    JoRocka wrote: »
    Would depend on how comfortable or uncomfortable I felt in the area.

    If it was an infrequent thing (sounds like it) I'd keep running in the same route- it happens. Trust your gut though. Really that's the thing that will keep you safe.
    This. If I was in an area where I felt safer, I would just smile it off.

    Otherwise avoid the areas that are a little sketchy, try to find a route around.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    msf74 wrote: »
    Your mind works by creating unconscious associations which it then accesses to perform routine tasks in the future. If you had to consciously process all actions of daily living a person wouldn't end up getting much done.

    What happened is that you had a negative stimulus (the cat call) reinforced in quick succession on this particular route. So, when you now think about running it the negative association plays in a loop unconsciously in your mind. This makes you want to avoid it even though rationally you know it is unlikely such a scenario will play out again.

    The way to overcome this is to purposefully create a stronger positive association which overwrites the useless programming. In other words remember a time when you were running that route and you felt strong, powerful and capable. Whenever you think about the route force this association to arise and crowd out the negative association as soon as you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Eventually it will be overcome.

    I'm sorry you had to face such rampant stupidity in the first place. That sucks.

    Is this DancesWithWow?
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    the only one telling you to change your route and to feel uncomfortable is you!
    I never worry about such things-I run in a familiar area always and wear headphones. No one gets between me and my run!
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
    Get some noise cancelling headphones and turn it up to 11...or carry a nerf gun with you

    The headphones suggestion is stupid.
    That is so unsafe. If you can't hear the cars around you or if someone was approaching you or not.

    Do not deprive yourself of one of your senses while running, especially alone.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    msf74 wrote: »
    Your mind works by creating unconscious associations which it then accesses to perform routine tasks in the future. If you had to consciously process all actions of daily living a person wouldn't end up getting much done.

    What happened is that you had a negative stimulus (the cat call) reinforced in quick succession on this particular route. So, when you now think about running it the negative association plays in a loop unconsciously in your mind. This makes you want to avoid it even though rationally you know it is unlikely such a scenario will play out again.

    The way to overcome this is to purposefully create a stronger positive association which overwrites the useless programming. In other words remember a time when you were running that route and you felt strong, powerful and capable. Whenever you think about the route force this association to arise and crowd out the negative association as soon as you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Eventually it will be overcome.

    I'm sorry you had to face such rampant stupidity in the first place. That sucks.

    Is this DancesWithWow?

    I'm pretty sure it's MFP...

  • arussell134
    arussell134 Posts: 463 Member
    Am I the only one who doesn't necessarily see this as a threat? I bet I get a honk or catcall or whistle or whatever once or twice a month. But it's usually always someone in a car, driving past. I also run on a fairly trafficked route (for safety reasons), so I've never felt unsafe.
  • arussell134
    arussell134 Posts: 463 Member
    Oh and sometimes it's not even about what you wear! I've gotten honks wearing the least flattering workout clothes before, too. ;)