Running Observation
Pinkranger626
Posts: 460 Member
So about two or three weeks ago I got catcalled for the very first time while out on my run (I've been running for about 5 years now). The disturbing part to me was that it was from 3 different guys within a half a mile from each other. I was wearing running tights and a long sleeve crew neck t shirt so nothing was hanging out. It was on my usual route that I have run countless times before. The only thing that was different was the time of day from when I usually pass by that area. Luckily it wasn't highly inappropriate and I didn't feel threatened at all, just slightly embarrassed.
My observation has been with my own behavior since. It seems to me almost to be subconscious. Ever since that day I have altered my running route if I'm going out around that time (I don't run at the same time every week, it's really whenever I can squeeze it into my schedule that day). I've also been way more aware of my clothing choices and have started wearing hats since i don't seem to get a reaction from the guys outside playing basketball when I wear a hat.
It really makes me sad, I shouldn't have to worry about getting comments from strangers while I'm out on a run. I shouldn't have to feel like I need to alter my route or my clothing choices. But here I am, and I rationalize things in my head, like i was getting tired of that route anyway. I am not someone who get easily embarrassed, actually quite the opposite. So I don't know why that day really bothered me so much. Has anyone else had this problem/reaction?
My observation has been with my own behavior since. It seems to me almost to be subconscious. Ever since that day I have altered my running route if I'm going out around that time (I don't run at the same time every week, it's really whenever I can squeeze it into my schedule that day). I've also been way more aware of my clothing choices and have started wearing hats since i don't seem to get a reaction from the guys outside playing basketball when I wear a hat.
It really makes me sad, I shouldn't have to worry about getting comments from strangers while I'm out on a run. I shouldn't have to feel like I need to alter my route or my clothing choices. But here I am, and I rationalize things in my head, like i was getting tired of that route anyway. I am not someone who get easily embarrassed, actually quite the opposite. So I don't know why that day really bothered me so much. Has anyone else had this problem/reaction?
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Not the same particular issue as I am male, but depending on where I run I get "comments" from the locals. Lots of "RUN FORREST RUN" kind of crap - usually from very large people smoking at bus stops.
I just laugh and think at how sad their lives must be.0 -
I haven't but my husband is usually with me. I am a sarcastic person so I'd probably reply with something witty and off colored. Also take it as a compliment. It is rude, I agree but at least they aren't making fun of you. I am a bigger girl and a slow runner so I am always afraid people are laughing at me as they drive by
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Maybe I just watch too much Law and Order and Stalker and CSI lol. My mom doesn't help as she's constantly talking about how she hates that I run alone etc etc. Unfortunately I don't have a running buddy who is consistent and I refuse to do all my running on a treadmill, especially my longer distances.
I think in my head if they didn't make any comments I could run by invisible and move on with my life. Making comments means they can see me. I don't know. Maybe i should try to think of it as a compliment, as rude as it is and just move on from it.0 -
I've been catcalled during marathons. Granted during one, I was wearing a tutu, but it felt pretty darn good. I'm not seeing the problem here.-1
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Eh, I get it. I'm not even in great shape, and I am sure I look silly running, but I've gotten a few whistles and comments too. While I'm a pretty outgoing person who doesn't offend easily, they bothered me too. When I thought about it more, I realized I wasn't offended, but was bothered because it threw off my routine in a way. I've not been exercising or running as long as you, but when I do, its largely been alone. I can get in my head, do a lot of thinking, and sort of find some rare alone time. Going incognito feels good from time to time. The realization that people are watching or paying attention invades that a bit. I've dealt with it by changing my mindset. If I want to be alone and have that personal space, I'll find a quiet place. If I'm going to the busy paths, I pay more attention to the things around me and spend less time in my head. Then any comments are much less jarring.0
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Would depend on how comfortable or uncomfortable I felt in the area.
If it was an infrequent thing (sounds like it) I'd keep running in the same route- it happens. Trust your gut though. Really that's the thing that will keep you safe.0 -
Given the encounter you described, I can't see a need to alter your attire/route/schedule, but I do get the whole visibility/invisibility thing. Just shake it off and do you, boo. 0
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Catcalls and whistling are cultural. A Cameroonian woman told me it's very usual where she comes from and she actually miss it... It's a show of appreciation. Now, if you ask me, I would be mortified to get catcalled!!!0
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Get some noise cancelling headphones and turn it up to 11...or carry a nerf gun with you0
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workoutgrl87 wrote: »Maybe I just watch too much Law and Order and Stalker and CSI lol. My mom doesn't help as she's constantly talking about how she hates that I run alone etc etc. Unfortunately I don't have a running buddy who is consistent and I refuse to do all my running on a treadmill, especially my longer distances.
I think in my head if they didn't make any comments I could run by invisible and move on with my life. Making comments means they can see me. I don't know. Maybe i should try to think of it as a compliment, as rude as it is and just move on from it.
I definitely understand. There's a park near my house with a 1 mile running loop and I always run alone. If I go before work around 5:30am, there's always the same small group of walkers/runners and that's it. Since it's still dark and the park is not lit, my senses are always heightened to what's around me and I think if anyone made any comments I would be terrified. If I go after work, there's tons of people there and comments that are made don't bother me so much just because it's light outside and there are more people around to witness anything that could happen. I've gotten comments from groups of teenage boys but that's it. It's uncomfortable no matter what, but you just have to be aware. I also read something that I've always kept in mind: never be afraid to hurt someone's feelings if they make you uncomfortable. Ignore it, turn around and start running in the opposite direction, tell them to not talk to you. Do what you gotta do.0 -
Have you ever watched birds in the wild, like on a nature show? The male bird fluffs his pretty feathers at all the female birds and the female birds mostly ignore them. The more male birds flocking in an area, the more puffy chested feathers you'll see. It's instinct. It's kind of a dumb instinct because the female bird is more likely to ignore all the puffy chested showboaters and end up mating with the bird she encounters in a tree one morning singing or something.
The same applies to humans.
Wear what you want in a safe area and ignore the peacocks.0 -
brightsideofpink wrote: »When I thought about it more, I realized I wasn't offended, but was bothered because it threw off my routine in a way.
This would be me. Although, I've never let anything like that change my routine...what happens to me is that I am ultra-conscious of things and I start pondering and thinking about them when I go that way. Any kinds of distractions are annoying, whether you take offense to them or not. Distractions are not good, because something crazy can happen like you trip on a stick that you didn't see because you were too busy thinking about some guy who made some whistling noises the day before.
You just have to keep doing what you are doing and keep your focus on that. You can't let something take your focus. It could be something silly like listening to music might keep you focused, but whatever it takes, make sure you do it.
And remember, that while it is certainly NOT OK for people to behave that way, and that it was certainly not your fault for them to feel compelled to lower themselves, and even though some people think it's a compliment when it really isn't (or else all women would just looooove it when some strange guy comments or whistles as we are trying to mind our own damn business), it's going to happen anyway. Where I do my long runs, I don't get cat calls...but morons driving by like to honk their horns. Soooo appealing...not. There's nothing I can do to change their behavior, but I do have the choice to not let it bother me and keep doing what I am doing without losing focus.
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Your mind works by creating unconscious associations which it then accesses to perform routine tasks in the future. If you had to consciously process all actions of daily living a person wouldn't end up getting much done.
What happened is that you had a negative stimulus (the cat call) reinforced in quick succession on this particular route. So, when you now think about running it the negative association plays in a loop unconsciously in your mind. This makes you want to avoid it even though rationally you know it is unlikely such a scenario will play out again.
The way to overcome this is to purposefully create a stronger positive association which overwrites the useless programming. In other words remember a time when you were running that route and you felt strong, powerful and capable. Whenever you think about the route force this association to arise and crowd out the negative association as soon as you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Eventually it will be overcome.
I'm sorry you had to face such rampant stupidity in the first place. That sucks.0 -
This. If I was in an area where I felt safer, I would just smile it off.Would depend on how comfortable or uncomfortable I felt in the area.
If it was an infrequent thing (sounds like it) I'd keep running in the same route- it happens. Trust your gut though. Really that's the thing that will keep you safe.
Otherwise avoid the areas that are a little sketchy, try to find a route around.
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Your mind works by creating unconscious associations which it then accesses to perform routine tasks in the future. If you had to consciously process all actions of daily living a person wouldn't end up getting much done.
What happened is that you had a negative stimulus (the cat call) reinforced in quick succession on this particular route. So, when you now think about running it the negative association plays in a loop unconsciously in your mind. This makes you want to avoid it even though rationally you know it is unlikely such a scenario will play out again.
The way to overcome this is to purposefully create a stronger positive association which overwrites the useless programming. In other words remember a time when you were running that route and you felt strong, powerful and capable. Whenever you think about the route force this association to arise and crowd out the negative association as soon as you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Eventually it will be overcome.
I'm sorry you had to face such rampant stupidity in the first place. That sucks.
Is this DancesWithWow?0 -
the only one telling you to change your route and to feel uncomfortable is you!
I never worry about such things-I run in a familiar area always and wear headphones. No one gets between me and my run!0 -
accelerashawn wrote: »Get some noise cancelling headphones and turn it up to 11...or carry a nerf gun with you
The headphones suggestion is stupid.
That is so unsafe. If you can't hear the cars around you or if someone was approaching you or not.
Do not deprive yourself of one of your senses while running, especially alone.
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SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »Your mind works by creating unconscious associations which it then accesses to perform routine tasks in the future. If you had to consciously process all actions of daily living a person wouldn't end up getting much done.
What happened is that you had a negative stimulus (the cat call) reinforced in quick succession on this particular route. So, when you now think about running it the negative association plays in a loop unconsciously in your mind. This makes you want to avoid it even though rationally you know it is unlikely such a scenario will play out again.
The way to overcome this is to purposefully create a stronger positive association which overwrites the useless programming. In other words remember a time when you were running that route and you felt strong, powerful and capable. Whenever you think about the route force this association to arise and crowd out the negative association as soon as you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Eventually it will be overcome.
I'm sorry you had to face such rampant stupidity in the first place. That sucks.
Is this DancesWithWow?
I'm pretty sure it's MFP...
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Am I the only one who doesn't necessarily see this as a threat? I bet I get a honk or catcall or whistle or whatever once or twice a month. But it's usually always someone in a car, driving past. I also run on a fairly trafficked route (for safety reasons), so I've never felt unsafe.0
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Oh and sometimes it's not even about what you wear! I've gotten honks wearing the least flattering workout clothes before, too.
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I hate when this happens too. I was running outside everyday earlier this summer, but random men/teenage boys started yelling things at me, beeping at me as they drove by. I was so uncomfortable. I know it's only words but there was part of me that always wondered if they would do something more, if they would follow me home or something. Since then I've only been running at the gym on the treadmill. It's boring, but I'd prefer to be bored than feel unsafe.0
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accelerashawn wrote: »Get some noise cancelling headphones and turn it up to 11...or carry a nerf gun with you
The headphones suggestion is stupid.
That is so unsafe. If you can't hear the cars around you or if someone was approaching you or not.
Do not deprive yourself of one of your senses while running, especially alone.
YES!! I cannot believe the amount of runners that do this! On a run recently I said hi in passing to a female friend while running and I nearly shouted it and she STILL didn't hear me b/c of those headphones. Good thing it was just me approaching her, saying hi.
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I get catcalled and honked at all the time on my runs. I just ignore it and go on with my life. Not sure why you're letting it dictate your routine or clothing.0
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chrisskellinton wrote: »accelerashawn wrote: »Get some noise cancelling headphones and turn it up to 11...or carry a nerf gun with you
The headphones suggestion is stupid.
That is so unsafe. If you can't hear the cars around you or if someone was approaching you or not.
Do not deprive yourself of one of your senses while running, especially alone.
sorry but that is ignorant.....how about running on a track or a belt like we have here....no cars etc....just people........headphones are great.........I have a cple wireless pairs that I would go with out.
How is it ignorant?
It's called being safe.
A track is one thing but the OP didn't say she was running on a track. Even on a beltway or dedicated running/biking path, I wouldn't deprive myself of one of my senses like that. Because someone can still come from behind and attack you.0 -
arussell134 wrote: »Am I the only one who doesn't necessarily see this as a threat? I bet I get a honk or catcall or whistle or whatever once or twice a month. But it's usually always someone in a car, driving past. I also run on a fairly trafficked route (for safety reasons), so I've never felt unsafe.
It wasn't really seen as a threat per say. But all three guys were with a group of other guys. One of the guys was also in front of a house that I'm pretty sure has some sort of drug trafficking happening through it. Unfortunately I don't live in the safest environment, although I wouldn't label it as a dangerous area either. And actually most of the catcallers were on foot, not in a car, so it wasn't like they just yelled as they drove by. It was that creepy "hey girl... blah blah blah" and now I know he's watching my butt as I run past him.
The last guy has said thing to me before, but he's never been inappropriate so i just shrugged him off. The other two guys were what bothered me a bit.
I run with headphones but I always keep the music low enough so that I can hear cars coming (even though i run mostly on the sidewalks and on a rail trail) which is why I heard them in the first place
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Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.
I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.0 -
chrisskellinton wrote: »accelerashawn wrote: »Get some noise cancelling headphones and turn it up to 11...or carry a nerf gun with you
The headphones suggestion is stupid.
That is so unsafe. If you can't hear the cars around you or if someone was approaching you or not.
Do not deprive yourself of one of your senses while running, especially alone.
sorry but that is ignorant.....how about running on a track or a belt like we have here....no cars etc....just people........headphones are great.........I have a cple wireless pairs that I would go with out.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to use headphones in a safe environment dedicated to runners... but anywhere that you have various modes of transportation crossing paths- using noise cancelling headphones is wildly unsafe.
At this point I don't even run with head phones at all- outside of the treadmill.... it's just way to dangerous on the street. I wouldn't even use it on the trails- you can't hear anyone/anything coming- you could get schwacked by a biker if you guys had poor timing and everyone had headphones on.0 -
workoutgrl87 wrote: »arussell134 wrote: »Am I the only one who doesn't necessarily see this as a threat? I bet I get a honk or catcall or whistle or whatever once or twice a month. But it's usually always someone in a car, driving past. I also run on a fairly trafficked route (for safety reasons), so I've never felt unsafe.
It wasn't really seen as a threat per say. But all three guys were with a group of other guys. One of the guys was also in front of a house that I'm pretty sure has some sort of drug trafficking happening through it. Unfortunately I don't live in the safest environment, although I wouldn't label it as a dangerous area either. And actually most of the catcallers were on foot, not in a car, so it wasn't like they just yelled as they drove by. It was that creepy "hey girl... blah blah blah" and now I know he's watching my butt as I run past him.
The last guy has said thing to me before, but he's never been inappropriate so i just shrugged him off. The other two guys were what bothered me a bit.
I run with headphones but I always keep the music low enough so that I can hear cars coming (even though i run mostly on the sidewalks and on a rail trail) which is why I heard them in the first place
Get in your car and drive to a safer area to run.
Notify the police that you suspect drug trafficking.
Move.0 -
[/quote]
Get in your car and drive to a safer area to run.
Notify the police that you suspect drug trafficking.
Move. [/quote]
Driving somewhere to run is something I do when I have the time to do that, but I have to run in my neighborhood during the week as I don't have more than say 45 minutes to get my mileage in amongst everything else in my schedule. Moving is not an option at the moment. And moving wouldn't stop people from catcalling, which is what my post was about in the first place.0 -
One place I run is doing lots of new home construction so the traffic is very light. I usually run there either Saturday or Sunday and I get a few catcalls in Spanish. I do know enough of the words to know they are not being insulting. I wave or yell gracias and keep going - hey never know when I might need a new roof. I actually think it's becoming part of "our" routine. LOL
Unless you feel threatened I wouldn't change my route or my clothes. You've been doing the same thing for the last 5 years, I wouldn't allow someone make me change my ways because of a catcall...again unless you feel threatened.
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