At war with myself!

SianLouise185 wrote: »

That title couldnt be more true!
So many people say just do it the healthy way but if i dont see a difference almost immediately or if i dont have a clear set out plan i quit and go all drastic, at the moment im either fasting or eating 500 calories or less.

Advice anyone?

It doesn't sound like you're looking for advice. It takes a definite decision and then sticking with it to lose and keep off weight. You might want to wait until you have that.

That's my advice. You can take it or leave it.

I am going to PM you.. I have lost 75 pounds in the last 6 months and not by starving myself. I will send you details

Try reading up on this:
All or nothing thinking. It typically is related to depression and anxiety, but a lot of people approach dieting with this sort of distorted thinking.

Coming to terms with your unconscious self, using the analogy of the elephant and the rider (I got this from Haidt).

I also found it very helpful to take the emotion out of supposed "failures" (i.e. one pound gain) by following the techniques taught in Stanford's Chronic Disease Self-Management Program.

I had a really hard time with no seeing results immediately too. I had to concentrate on the differences I did feel on a daily basis. I cut out carbs and sugars, and war that was raging in my head simmered down quite a lot. Some weeks my weight doesn't move at all- but I have to constantly refocus myself like I'm a child. I have really similar swings, quite like one minute you've got motivation, and the next you see your reflection and everything crumbles. The way that I redirect myself is by slowing myself down and "parenting" myself. I sound like I'm crazy, but it honestly works. I think about what I would say to my own daughter if she were feeling this way, or what I wish someone would have said to me when I was a little girl. Like, "I know that it's hard right now Emily, and I know that you want to abandon all hope because you don't look or feel the way you want to. But you're so worth waiting this out, and when you stick this out, you will see a difference".


I don't want to assume or put a label on you that's unwanted, but what you have going on sounds like an EDNOS (Not otherwise specified eating disorder). I say that not so you can "hide behind it", but so maybe you can better understand why there is a war waging inside you head. There is truth behind the thought that when you start losing weight, you'll feel better and it will motivate you to continue. But for me, I had to change the way I thought about myself and my body before I was able to set out a plan, and stick to it for good. This will be very, very hard. So start with the motivation, get to a place where you feel completely certain you're going kill it. Then, when that first thought creeps into your head, stomp it out. This war you're fighting isn't with yourself, it's with your demons. So chop their faces off. Tell them to get fooked, and redirect yourself to how good you feel in the moment. This gets tiring because if you're anything like me, you've got a lot of *kitten* thoughts. But take it day by day! Tell yourself, "I'm going to feel the absolute best I can today, I'll worry about tomorrow when it comes." Plan out one day at a time, and stay in tune with your thoughts. Be kind to yourself because what you're doing takes a lot of strength. Lean on the people around you who love you, and look to them for inspiration when you feel like yours is running on low. Best of luck xx

I think your post is brave, but you answer a lot of your own questions with it.

Hi, I know how you feel. I really want there to be a switch in my head, that I (or someone else) could just flip, and I don't have to think about food all the time. I even dream about cake, and then feel guilty in my sleep. I have never taken drugs, but sweets are my drug. I can't go one day without them. If I restrict myself, I clench my jaws all day (and at night), so my teeth actually crumble. And when I do lose some weight, I reward myself with food till I gain it all back (and some more).
I feel so desperate and inferiour, but if I give up on myself, I might as well lay down and die. We gotta keep trying to figure it out, while we still have time.

This content has been removed.

cloieclo wrote: »

There's a quote that helped me at the start of my journey;
"It takes 4 weeks for you to see your body changing. It takes 8 weeks for your friends and family. It takes 12 weeks for the rest of the world. Keep going."
Things don't happen overnight. And you need to constantly remind yourself of that. Please don't give up

I love this! It couldn't be more true. I was sooo happy with myself when I lost my first 10 pounds, yet I felt like a failure because nobody else could see how hard I had to work to get there. Now, I keep reminding myself that Rome wasn't built in a day, and as long as I hold my head high, I can accomplish anything.

Just have faith in yourself. Understand that you can do anything you set your mind to, and don't let anybody else tell you differently. Also understand that the extremes are never good.

Personally, I pre-plan my meals. I try and fill out my food diary a day ahead of time, that way I feel more inclined to stick to it. I also make sure that if I'm feeling like over-eating, I drink a lot of water. When I stress and basically stop eating (usually because I lack hunger), I meditate. I sit in the peace and quiet for 15-20 minutes, and I focus on my breathing and relax. When I'm done, I feel much better, and I can usually stomach something.

If you ever need anyone to talk to though, I'm always here. This is one of my favorite go-to places.